All Comments on 'Sweet Lucy'

You write far better than most native English speakers. I teach at a local college and most of my students do not write nearly as well. A minor point: silently means without sound. You used it twice where quietly or softly would have been more appropriate. Someone might read silently, no one would hear. If you speak, you are no longer silent.

I love the story hope there is more of it do wish she put up more of a fight cause if understood it right he was supposed to be one of the good guys that fight crime not be one of the bad guys. hope that made sense

Working for the top special forces in the world

Yet he speaks and acts like an idiot amateur.

Yeah, it was my biggest fear apart from the grammar..

That it won't appear convincing. I don't know much about the subject. If you do yourself, please do not hesistate to contact me and enlighten me! I will appreciate really. And on the other hand - come on it's just a fantasy.. I am not aspiring for Pullitzer :D

Thank you very much! It means a lot to me <3

I will remember for the next time, it makes sense ;)

Thank you, I see your point ;)

Working on a second chapter, stay tuned and let me know after if I hit the spot ;P

It was very good for a first attempt at writing for others, it was very good for someone whose first language is not English. There are some issues with grammar but it's not terrible. There are some issues with credibility. I think the premise of mistaken intent is good but you over simplified it. I couldn't get into his dirty talk it was more laughable then arousing.

However I read it through to the end and quite enjoyed it. I think you will do better as time goes on. It must very difficult as a writer to publish something without the help of a proof-reader or editor and to know if the balance of a story is right.

I look forward to updates

This is Spy Erotica, Don't be afraid to use Last Names (ie. James Bond and Lorraine Broughton), It makes the story more grounded in the Real World/World of Spies.

is Juri a Spy or a Terrorist (or Both??),

--if a Spy (Why Identity on the Internet ?!?!?!, not his current Cover/Fake I.D.)

I would love to see this story as a full-length spy movie. You have many directions you can go with it. She could become a valuable member of your tactical team. She could be used as a diversion on secret missions or she could become just a cum slut for the amusement of the team. However, don’t ruin this story by needlessly eliminating her. Can’t wait for next chapter.

Thaaaaanks! You know I started to write a second chapter and I am a little bit stuck with the plot.. I was wondering if writers usually do prepare the plot in the beginning or write as they go? Because I was just writing out of a fantasy, now I need a bit more development....

Oh please continue this as a series!

Finish this... Worthless story so far. One Star for effort.

I saw the errors. So what? Great story. I was hard all the way. Needs a bit more detail on the penetration, the feelings inside, and the powerful climax. I like the way you think.

I am always impressed by those who write in English when it is a second language. Your story is a fast-paced, hard sex romp ideal for this category. I did find the description of Juri's cock to be over the top. Otherwise, a good story. As for the grammar issues, there's nothing that practice won't make better. So, by all means, keep writing.

It was a pretty good story, pretty hot, but one thing took me totally out of the moment and I had to try and ignore it. Describing someone as "the Harry Potter guy" is shitty both for writing and erotica reasons. I personally feel that erotic descriptions should be kept fairly vague, so that people can inage what they want and not get turned off by something halfway in. You could have said "the man in glasses" for the same effect, without bringing up a childrens book.