by LustScribe
It reminds me of one of those70s porn movies where you're dying for some kind of a story to develop but it's boom bam and all over ... never happens that way - never!
I agree that it's a lot like porn--the only reason the story is there is as a backdrop to the sex. Erotica is more of a sexual story. For the most part, it was well-written, but I think there could've been a little more action and description to make it hotter and so the reader is submerged in the moment.
Until she mentioned the specific "injection", I was hoping that there'd be a reunion, with whatever happened perhaps being based on the outcome of the game.
You lost me when you lost your whole story, calling it HIS bed! That kills a major part of the story!