Taking a Chance

I sat on my couch taking deep breaths, trying to slow my heart rate, trying to get those words out of my mind, "I've met someone new." Every time those words ran through my mind, my heartbeat faster. How could she be dating someone else? We have been dating for over a year! And in a pandemic!

No matter how hard I tried, my heart rate increased. I could feel my anxiety rising, and my breath got shaky. A panic attack was coming.

I felt a hand on my shoulder. "Amos, are you okay?"

It was my roommate, June. The two of us had met in high school. I was first trumpet in the school band, and she was second. We became fast friends and did most everything together. The two of us ended up going to the same college and even both ended up teaching at the same middle school at the other side of the state. We both knew that individually we could not afford to live somewhere decent on a teacher's salary, so rooming together was the most logical choice.

The only thing we did not do however was date. Everyone always assumed we did, neither of us really dated anyone during high school and we always has this certain chemistry. We found that we had a lot of the same interests, doing puzzles, video games, and reading to name a few. We hung out together most days after school doing god knows what. She is my oldest and best friend.

But I just didn't see her that way; she was like a sister to me. Hell, she was the one who introduced me to my most recent heartbreak.

I looked up at June. I never found her unattractive, she was quite beautiful. She stood about 5'6" to my 5'11" and had rich brunette hair which she now wore in a bun. She wore glasses with a thin frame that were usually pushed up against her face. Her body was attractive too. She is a bit plump, but she always seemed to own it. Her breasts, as far as I could tell, were somewhere in the 34C to 34D range.

Right now, she was wearing her usual relaxing get up, a plain colored tee that hugged her torso that accentuated her breasts, and a pair of shorts that ended around her mid-thigh. She looked at me with that look of concern that I had come to know all too well.

I took a deep breath. "Oh, you know, just wallowing in self-pity; how about you?"

She sat down next to me. "Seriously Amos, what's wrong? Does it have to do with Adriana?"

I nodded my head and blinked the tears out of my eyes. "She, ah, said she fell in love with some dude from down the street. It's over."

"Oh Amos," she said as she reached out to hug me; I really needed the hug. "I am so sorry."

I took another deep breath. June's hugs always helped me calm down, it was a nice reminder that I was not alone. After a minute or two I felt my heart rate to slow down.

She patted me on the back. "I know it sucks right now, and it's hard for you to see the light at the end of this tunnel, but you're going to get through this. You want to know why?"

"Hmm?"

She let go of the hug, gripped me by the shoulders, and looked me in the eyes with the most serious gaze I have ever seen on her.

"Because you are Amos Fucking Beltran, the kindest, sweetest, most awesome person in the world. Because you are the badass who single handedly saved your school's music program, because you're the rock that kept me from becoming an alcoholic like my dad, and because any woman would be lucky to have you."

She then leaned over and kissed me on the cheek. I felt the blood rush to my face, and for a moment, I stopped breathing.

"That's how I know you're going to be fine. Because you're- "

"Amos Fucking Beltran."

June smiled. "Damn straight" She looked over my shoulder at the clock against the wall. "It's getting a bit late, and we need to do our Zoom classes early tomorrow. Are you going to be okay?"

I nodded, still trying to remember how to breathe.

She smiled and patted my shoulder. "Good night then Amos." She got up and walked to her room. She stopped just as she got to her door and looked back. "You should really try and get some sleep dude."

My memory returned to me and I took a deep breath. "Huh? Oh, I will, in a bit. I just need to, uh, sit for a moment."

She nodded and went into her room. I sat on the couch until I got my heart rate under control. I went to my room to try and go to sleep, but I could not stop thinking about that kiss. And those words, "Because you're Amos Fucking Beltran." Those were almost the same words I told her all those years ago.

It was about seven years ago, the year before we both started our student teaching. At the time we were living in two separate apartments, me with a buddy of mine and her by herself. We would always pop into each other's place; it became kind of standard for us.

On that day it had been almost three days since I had heard from June. She was not answering any phone call, text email, and she wouldn't answer her door. This had been becoming somewhat of a pattern with her, she would disappear for a few days, then show up like nothing happened. She never told me where she went, or what she did; all she would say is "I took some personal time."

I had my suspicions that she spent this time drinking, but I never asked her about it. After seeing the train wreck of her father go through the same thing, surely, she wouldn't do it too, right?

I stopped by her apartment after class, and I found the door unlocked. As I entered, the scent of stale beer hit me like a freight train. There were beer cans, liquor bottles, and fast-food bags littered all over the floor. I felt my stomach drop, my worst fears had been realized.

A high pitched, "AMOSSSSSSS," came from her kitchen. June staggered out towards me, her shirt stained with what I assumed was vomit, and her breath reeked of whiskey. "You FUCKING champion, you found me!!"

I let out a forced chuckle. "Yeah, I guess I did." She staggered to the wall, then slid onto the floor.

"So, this is where you've been?" I asked in my most nonjudgmental tone. "Every time you haven't been in class?"

"Ring-a-ding-ding-ding!" she slurred, "you solvvved the puzzzllle. Ya won da game!"

I slid down next to her. "You know, this wasn't really a fun game to play. You had me worried."

She nodded. "I'm srry, I just did ths cuz I am stressed."

I put my arm around her shoulder to give her a side hug. "I know you are I get it." I squeezed her tight to me. "But this can't happen again. You know that, right?"

She nodded again. "I know," she said clearly. "I'm turning into- "

"Daddy dearest?"

She laughed. "Yeah, I know. That thought scared me 'nd I drank s'more. 'Ronic huh?"

We sat there in silence for a moment, me with my arm around her and her staring at the wall.

"You know I'll help you through this," I said, "right?" She nodded. "You know how I know you're going to get through this?"

"How?"

I kissed the top of her head. "Because you're June Fucking Reed."

As one could imagine, two teachers trying to simultaneously teach two different subjects on Zoom in the same apartment was challenging, she taught biology and I taught math. It also didn't help that as for my feelings for Adriana faded, my feelings for June grew.

Ever since that cheek kiss, I'd find myself smiling at the small things she would do; the way she laughed, the way she furrowed her brow when she was enveloped in a book, the passion she had for teaching. Despite the work circumstances she was a bright light in the apartment, and my heart would flutter whenever she gave me a hug, or a head pat.

I'd find myself stealing glances at her in the rare opportunities where she was teaching, and I was not. As she was teaching from a desk, she usually just wore short shorts. Usually this was not a problem, so she had no idea that I was secretly admiring her legs. When we weren't teaching, she'd usually replace her teaching blouse with a t-shirt. They'd hug the curves of her torso, making her look even more attractive.

I did my best to hide my feelings. I was terrified that if she knew I'd lose my best friend. But these feelings were becoming more and more intense. Soon I began to dream about her, in ways a friend probably shouldn't. At first, we'd just be lying in bed, making out with one another. But as the months went on, the dreams became more and more sexual.

The most vivid one started with us passionately making out. I'd then kiss along her jaw line and begin to nibble on her neck. She'd let out a soft moan and then grind against me. Still kissing her neck, I reached down and removed her pants. Once out of the way I'd gently rub her clit, causing her to let out another moan. Then as I continued to kiss her neck, she whispered in my ear, "take me now."

Then, in lightning fast speed I'd remove my pants, revealing my rock-hard dick. I'd only put in the tip before I woke up, to cum splattered on the inside of my underwear.

I would immediately feel guilty for having these dreams, but they kept happening repeatedly. I felt so guilty that I actively avoided June, which was rather difficult living in the same apartment and all.

It was around Thanksgiving when things. As per usual, our students got the week of thanksgiving off. Normally I'd fly home to spend the holiday with my family, but my parents and I agreed that due to my father's recent biopsy, it would be best to stay put as not to risk him getting sick. June usually came with me to thanksgiving, so the two of us were alone together. For the entire week. Hooray.

I spent the first half of that Monday in bed, trying to push down my emotions. I knew this wouldn't work, but I had to try. Around 1 my stomach began to sound like a Wookie, so I reluctantly went to the kitchen to make myself a sandwich. I looked to make sure June wasn't in the kitchen, but she was nowhere to be seen. She must have been sleeping in. As I opened the refrigerator and began pondering my sandwich options, I felt a tap on my shoulder.

"Alright Beltran, we need to talk."

I felt my stomach drop. She only used my last name when she was angry with me, like that time I accidentally knocked over her aunt's lamp.

I turned around and cursed under my breath. June wore her hair up in a messy bun with her glasses pressed up against her face, and she wore a baseball tee with our school's logo that clung to her breasts. Her dark eyes narrowed as she scowled at me, completing the angry teacher look. Unfortunately for me, I found this very hot.

"You've been avoiding me ever since the school year started," she said. "Whenever I enter a room, you almost immediately leave; and when you don't you can't seem to look me in the eye." She stepped closer to me, causing my heart to beat even faster than it already was. "Please, open up to me, I want my best friend back."

It took all my will power not to kiss her right then and there, to just scoop her up in my arms. "I, I, I can't."

"Why not? You're obviously going through something and I want to be there for you like you have always been there for me." She took my hands in hers. "If it wasn't for you, I'd be exactly like my father. You're always taking care of me and for once I want to return the favor." A tear formed in the corner of her eye. "Please tell me what's going on?"

I took a shaky breath. "You're going to be mad."

She let go of my hands and sat down at the kitchen table. She patted the seat next to her.

"Try me."

I sat down, feeling like my heart was in my throat. The two of us sat there in silence for two minutes, while I built up the courage to tell her what I've been feeling for months.

"I, uh" I stuttered, "I was pretty broken when I found out Adriana was seeing someone new. And- and you were the one that helped me realize that I was going to be okay." My mouth was bone dry, and my hands were shaking. "But the thing is, in- in doing so certain, uh, other feelings have arisen." I gulped down whatever saliva was left in my mouth.

"Feelings about you, and me, together."

She smiled. "Oh," she said softly. "Okay then."

"I'm sorry I made things awkward," I blurted. "I tried to push down these feelings because I didn't want to risk our friendship, and you're practically part of my family, but I just can't stop thinking about you in ways a friend shouldn't think about their friends and-"

"Amos," June interrupted. "It's okay." She patted my hand. "I understand." Now it was her turn to take a shaky breath. "The thing is the feelings aren't entirely one sided."

My heart stopped. "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that I love you Amos," she said quickly. "And not just in the platonic love that I know we both feel, but in a- "

Before she could finish her thought I leaned across the table and kissed her. Her lips were soft against mine, and within seconds I felt her return the kiss. As our lips caressed each other's I felt her tongue trying to part mine. I parted my lips and let her tongue dance around my mouth. What was I supposed to be doing with mine?

I pulled back from the kiss and pressed my forehead against hers. I couldn't stop smiling, and apparently, she couldn't either.

"You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that" she whispered.

"Me too" I whispered back.

We stayed there for a while, feeling the warmth from each other, getting to know the skin of each other's hands.

"So, what do we do now?" I asked.

"I'm not sure," she replied. She looked down at my crotch, "but I think someone has an idea."

I looked down to see my penis bulging in my pants. My face turned red.

"Oh my gosh, June I'm so sorry. I got caught up in the moment and- "

"I never said it was a bad thing," she said with a slight smile. She reached down and rubbed my cock over my pants, sending shivers all over me. "I said I wanted to be there for you, and that's what I want to do."

She looked back up at me. "Unless you want to wait that is. We can take it as slow or as fast as you want."

I could see the lust in her eyes. They told me that she wanted this way longer than I had; that she was ready to pounce, but first wanted to be acknowledged by her prey. I'm sure that she could see the lust in my eyes as well.

"I don't want to wait," I finally said. "And I know I didn't say it back earlier, but I love you too."

A tear rolled down her cheek. She gave me a slight nod, and abruptly stood up. "Okay then, let's do this." She grabbed my hand and started pulling me out of the kitchen.

"Where are we going?" I asked.

"To my bedroom, dummy," she said. "I'm not going to have our first time on the kitchen table, we eat there."

We got to her bedroom and she closed the door. With that last comment she made I knew what I had to say. I mustered every ounce of courage I had and pressed her against the door.

I did my best to pull off a sexy smirk. "Well, I do hope there is something here I can eat."

"Oh," she said softly.

With June still against the wall, we hungrily kissed each other, our hands roaming each other's bodies. I gave her ass a gentle squeeze, releasing a moan from her mouth into mine.

As we kissed, we began grinding our hips into each other, I could feel my cock rub against her leg, sending more shivers down my spine. I pulled away from the kiss and began nibbling down to her neck, eliciting yet another moan.

She grabbed the back of my neck and pressed me closer to her. Then, as if our minds were connected, I reached under her ass to lift her, and she jumped into my arms. "Amos," she said softly, "I need you, NOW."

I walked over, placed her on the bed, and crawled on top of her. I bent down to continue kissing her. She reached for the bottom of my shirt and gracefully pulled it over my head, revealing my somewhat hairy chest. I reached down to pull her shirt off her, revealing a peach colored bra. I reached around her to unclasp it, but I kept fumbling with the hooks.

June let out a small giggle. I turned my head to look at her with a questioning look.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I'm ruining the moment."

I let out my own giggle. "It's okay, I'm the one who can't unclasp your bra."

She put a hand on my chest and pressed her forehead against mine.

"I'm really glad we're doing this."

I leaned down to kiss her. "Me too." Just then, a thought crossed my mind.

"Uh, June, do you have a condom?"

Her face went slack. "No, don't you?"

"Why would I have a condom? I spend the last few months trying to not think about this." I looked down and admired her once more. "Which was a grave mistake, I might add."

She chuckled. "You're damn right it was."

I looked over at her alarm clock. "Well it's only like 2 o'clock. I can run down to the Walgreens and pick some up."

She put up a feign frown. "Do you have to?"

I leaned down and kissed her forehead. "I'm afraid I do. As much as I would love to raw you," I said grinding myself into her, "I don't think either of us are ready to be parents yet."

She shook her head. "Yeah, not yet."

I got off her and put my shirt back on. "Besides, I don't know where you've been."

She laughed as she threw a pillow at me. "Well fuck you!"

I winked at her. "That's the plan June." I leaned forward and kissed her forehead. "I'll be back."

I left the apartment with a spring in my step, as I made a mad rush through the Walgreens, found the condoms, and accidentally slammed them down at the checkout desk.

The clerk looked at the condom, then looked at me with a raised eyebrow. "You getting lucky?" he asked.

I nodded. "Something like that."

He extended his fist towards me. "Respect, man."

After paying for the condoms, I made a mad dash back to my apartment. I felt like my heart was going to beat right out of my chest. I was about to have sex with my best friend!

That's when the realization hit me, and I came to a stop. I'm about to have sex with my best friend. There's no way things would be the same after this. Was I ready for things to change so fast?

I walked the rest of the way to the apartment, mulling all of it over. On one hand, I truly did love June, way more than just a friend. She was the one that helped me through college, she stayed up with me when I found out my childhood dog had died, she stayed by my side an entire day after I accidentally ate that pot brownie. Whether she knew it or not, she has always been there for me.

But was I willing to risk it? Risk her? What if this didn't work out and we broke up? Would one of us move out? Would I permanently lose my best friend? Am I ready to take that chance?

I somberly walked up to my front door. Could I do this?

Before I could even get my keys out, June opened the door and pulled me in. She slammed the door and immediately began kissing me. "About time Amos," she said in-between kisses. "I thought you'd forgot about me." I lost myself in the sensation of her lips, but I collected myself and broke the kiss.

"Wait, June," I panted. "I need to talk to you."

A look of worry came across June's face. "Is everything alright?"

I put the box of condoms down. "I'm not sure."

"Okay then, let's talk."

I took both her hands in mine, the hands that only about an hour ago that were rubbing me over my jeans.

"You know that I love you, and more than just a friend," I began. "We have been through so much together, and you're my favorite person to talk to."

She squeezed my hands. "I feel the same way."

I smiled. "I know you do. It's just that, well," I took a deep breath. "I'm scared of losing you."

"How do you think you're going to lose me?" she asked.

"I don't know!" I said shakily. "You're the one person in the world I can't live without, and I'd hate to do anything that would jeopardize my time with you."

She raised her left hand to my cheek. "You're really sweet Amos, but you're right. Neither of us know what the future holds. But I know you well enough to know that whatever we decide to do, have sex, stay friends, whatever, I want to be a part of your world." Now it was her turn to try a sexy smirk. "And if you'd let me, I'd like to rock it as well."