Taking in Sister

"I know, and I love you for that." I gave her a peck and she grabbed my chin and gave me a peck on the lips.

"We are too close for a peck on the cheek. I don't bite."

We went to eat and talked about old times. She teared up once, but got through it.

She went into her bedroom that night and never came to my bed. In the morning I came out and she was smiling. "I slept in that bed all night. I had a few sad moments and a few moments where I hated being alone, but it was still good. I was worried that I couldn't sleep alone." She teared up a little.

"It gets easier. I'm right next door if you ever need to come in and be comforted or just sleep. My door is always open for you."

"You are always so sweet."

"Oh yeah, telling a beautiful woman she can climb in my bed anytime, what a sweetheart. I should get a medal."

She punched my arm, "And you always make me laugh. You are a great brother."

She had taken the second master bedroom. Mine has a soaking tub and shower. Hers only has a shower. It is a cool shower, though. It has a half dozen shower heads coming at all levels and directions. I told her she could use the tub whenever she wanted, it has Jacuzzi jets and it's heaven. She ended up using it more than I do. It is a refuge when she wants to escape, I think. I had some smelly candles by each end of the tub. She found it pretty funny that a 6'4", 270 pound guy likes bubble baths. She got settled in.

She stayed for over a month, and spent only some of that crying. She might be fine for all day or even two, and then a memory would make her cry.. One day, she said, "It's been a month, guess I should go home."

That was a bit of a gut punch. I was happy having her around, much happier than before. I had a purpose I cared about again. "Are you anxious to get home??"

"Honestly, I sort of dread seeing my house. I pretty much lost all my friends when quit my job and stayed home to care for Jay, so no one is going to come see me. I have only stayed this long because the idea of being alone in that house sounds like torture."

"I hate to pry, but are you okay, money wise?"

"I got a Jay's insurance, that is a nice little nest egg for emergencies. I am going to go back to work. I'll get by alright."

"Do you have any money coming in at all?"

"No, but I am going to go back to work."

"So you have spending money from your nest egg?"

"Yes, but not that much."

"Sarah, that is ridiculous. I didn't invite you up here too drain your savings. I have made more money than I'll ever spend. They throw me a big check every year or so when I put out another book. With royalties, I could live very well and not write at all."

"Yes, Bill, but that is your money."

"Sarah, I tried buying happiness, it doesn't work. I don't need anything. The only joy that money buys me is having my sweet sister here. The money is just sitting there. I only write now because I enjoy it. Believe me, I'd rather have you around to spend time with than see you go to work every day. I have never been happier than this. It has been like the ultimate vacation, just finding fun places to see. You are terrific company."

"Bill, I can get a job and I'll get by."

"You know, Sarah, I don't want you just getting by. I have a ton of room here, and it's a nice house. What would you think about moving up here temporarily? I can't just walk away and leave my sister to face this alone. If you think you are going to sell your house, at least you will have a nice place to stay. You won't have any trouble finding a job, if you want to work. There is no rush."

"That's sweet of you, but-"

"Wait, before you say more, it isn't all being sweet, and it isn't charity. It is as much for me as you, maybe more."

"How is it equally for you?"

"I'll lay my cards on the table. Simply put, I'm lonely and a big beautiful house doesn't make that any better. I am just not ready to let another woman in my life right now. I don't know when that will be. I have felt like I had a purpose helping you, and I haven't one for a long time. I have mourned, but I never got joy back, until now. I can't tell you how much happier I've been with you here. At least stay a while and spend some time together."

"Are you kidding? Happier with me here? I've been a crying wreck on your shoulder half the time."

"Being there for you and caring about you is what's making me happy. I'm not just marking time."

"Let me think it over. It doesn't seem like a bad idea for a while, anyway."

She stayed another month. I said, "Maybe we should have your clothes and stuff shipped up here."

"That sounds like I'm moving in."

"Well, you said you would think about it. You can get another house anywhere you want with the money from selling yours, when the time comes to move out. You won't be stuck here, it's free living, and you can build your nest egg a little."

She smiled. "And my sweet brother is here to lean on. I have thought a lot about it. Being here has been like a life preserver for me. Not being alone has made my loss at least bearable. I picture myself sitting at home and dwelling on it 24 hours a day. Ugh! I would love to stay, and I really don't want to even go into my house again. But I want to split the bills as evenly as we can. How much is the house payment?"

"I had just sold sold a book and I paid cash for the house. I hoped I could buy happiness. It didn't work."

"I can afford half of no payment, I guess. I do think I will be happier here. Let's do it."

"Thanks Sarah. I have been absolutely dreading you leaving."

"You really mean that, don't you?"

"Yeah, I wouldn't lie to you."

We, got a mover to get the things she wanted from her house, and a charity to take everything else.

I knew it took me almost two years to "get over" my wife's passing. You never really do, you just learn to live with it. The hardest part, for me, was being alone while mourning. Her being here has brought me out of a long funk. I was glad to be there for her. She would talk to me about it; but all I could do is be there to listen. There was nothing I could really do. Thankfully, time heals, and I could see it happening. Every week, Sarah seemed to cry a little less. I was so glad to see that.

After a couple of months, she wanted to put her house up. I told her I knew a guy that would get her top dollar. I begged her to let me handle it. I made sure she got a wire transfer about 50% higher than it sold for. Bankers love money, all I had to do was pre-pay the 20% tax on the extra and a little under the table for the banker. My tax guy would do her taxes at the end of the year and she need never know.

One day, after she had been living here about a year, we were driving home from the indoor flea market and I was thinking she hadn't cried for months. "You seem a lot better emotionally, how are you doing?"

"Pretty good, actually. I still have moments. I was prepared for a long while for Jay to pass, I guess that makes it easier. The last two years were pretty terrible as he went downhill. The initial shock was terrible, but I think I have been mourning long before he died."

That night we were watching TV and she had fallen asleep. Her face had turned almost towards me. I was looking at her, just admiring her, and thinking how beautiful she is. She definitely got the looks in the family. I suddenly realized her eyes had opened. I don't know if she noticed I was admiring her. I hoped not.

"Bill, do you ever think about dating?"

I thought,"Does that mean she saw and thinks I'm perving on her?"

"No, I can't imagine getting to know and loving another woman. How about you, are you thinking of dating?" I tried not to hold my breathe waiting for her answer. I don't know why.

"Not really. I'm a little lonely, but the whole idea just doesn't sound at all appealing."

"I know that feeling, but I've been a lot less lonely with you here. I feel like I got a new lease on life, a purpose before and now companionship on top of that. You really brought me out of a two year funk. What can we do about your loneliness? Maybe a place to make women friends, like a club or craft thing?"

"Um, no. That wouldn't help."

"Okay, what can we do about it?"

She blushed, "Um, the kind of loneliness I'm talking about, "we" aren't suppose to do anything about. I love you and being here with you has made me very happy. But, you know, sometimes I miss closer affection."

"Oh, now I get it. Yeah, I know what you mean. Maybe you should look for a boyfriend." The last few words sounded odd to me. I could feel something like panic rising, like my heart had sped up.

"No, a boyfriend isn't something I want. Can I just rent one?"

"Friends with benefits? I've thought about that, but that's probably harder for a man to find than a girlfriend is. I'm sure finding either one would be easy for you, as pretty and-" There was an awkward pause. I almost said sexy and I drew a blank. "um all as you are."

Sarah smiled for a second or two, and then shook her head, "So you haven't been intimate for three years? I feel your pain. It has been much longer for me. Long before Jay passed."

"You know, I could help you with that." Her eyes got big. "I'll look up rental friends with benefits on Craigslist tomorrow." We laughed.

"Please do."

That night I thought about the panic I felt about her dating. I worried "Am I was falling in love with my damn sister again?" I woke up in the middle of the night. In my dream Sarah and I were in love and we started making love. I woke up in a panic. I thought, "Shit, that's not good. How did this happen?" I tossed and turned for a long time, and the dream kept popping into my mind. I decided it was just loving her companionship that was confusing me. A few weeks later that dream woke me and kept me up, as it sometimes did. I was turned on and I did not want to be. I finally got up and went downstairs to get a glass of something. The dim little under counter lights are always on, so I didn't need a light on until I got there. I hate a dark house, so I have small lights so I can walk around without turning the lights on.

I walked in the kitchen and flipped on the overhead light. Sarah was getting something out of the fridge. She popped up, looking startled for a second. "Hey, Sarah, I didn't mean to scare you."

She came out with a tub of ice cream, "Look what I found. Want some?"

She was wearing a long Tshirt that looked like one of mine,but couldn't be, and her nipples were hard from the cold freezer, I guess. Her boobs were rounder and bigger than I thought, and her nipples stuck straight out like pencils. I realized I was staring, and I didn't know how long. "Yeah, yeah, that sounds good."

She blushed, "Ahem! Brothers aren't supposed to look at those. Looks like you need a cold shower with your ice cream." She gestured towards my crotch and giggled.

I looked down and my boxers weren't doing anything to hide my erection. I had no shirt on to cover it. I plopped down in a chair at the table. "I'm so sorry. I didn't even think about what I was wearing. And I'll blame the staring on being half asleep."

She laughed, "Don't be silly. I was just teasing you. You don't have to dress up to raid the fridge. I didn't, this is your shirt you wore yesterday."

That certainly didn't help. Women always want to wear your shirt, so they can smell you, I guess. It is a lover thing.

She brought us ice cream and we sat and chatted while we ate. I studiously avoided looking below her neck. Maybe I won't go to hell. When we finished she stood, looked at me, smiled, and took the bowls to the sink. She said, "I'll be right back." She went over into the first floor bathroom. I felt, and I had a wet spot in front of my very hard dick. I was sitting there trying to will it away. "You coming up stairs?"

She had walked right up and I was lost in thought. "Yeah, maybe the ice cream will help put me back to sleep. I made sure she was walking away before I stood up. Seemed like the smart idea. The new problem was, being a couple of steps down on the stairs, I could see the bottom of her butt and a tiny peek at her sex with every step. That sure as hell wasn't cooling my arousal. I tried hard not to look, but the flesh is weak. I'm not sure I actually tried more than thinking I shouldn't look. I hadn't had sex in three years, so the flesh was very weak.

When we got to the loft, Sarah turned her body towards her room. I went to scoot by and she turned and gave me a bear hug. I wasn't expecting one, and I was horrified when my erection pressed hard against her. I tried to end the hug as fast as I could. She didn't let go when I did. After a few seconds that felt like minutes, she did. I could feel my cheeks getting hot as I stepped back a half step.

Sarah stepped a half step towards me and put her hand on my cheek. "Don't be embarrassed. I'm not shocked or offended. I still love you. I know men wake up like that. I'm not going to avoid hugging you because you might have one of those and I'm not going to stop hugging if you do have one. I was married for a long time. Get over it. Just don't walk around rubbing that on me all the time." She giggled. "

I was relieved, "Okay, so exactly how many times a day would rubbing be acceptable?"

"Hmm, we'll have to negotiate that benefit." We both laughed.

She gave me a quick hug and a little peck on the lips, then we retired. I had a hard time getting to sleep. No matter how hard I tried, I kept seeing her nipples in my mind, seeing her ass and her sex peeking out, and her looking down at my cock. I got up and splashed cold water on my face, but that didn't help. I found my self rubbing my cock. I thought, "Jesus, I can't masturbate to my damn sister." I grabbed my tablet and looked at porn.

As I was trying to masturbate, the thoughts of her doing those things instead of the women in the scenes kept intruding. I finally just surrendered to it and let my fantasies of her in. When I came, it was very intense, easily the best orgasm I had in years, it had even hit my damn chin. As I laid there I told myself fantasies are normal and don't mean you are really going to do anything. It doesn't mean you're a perv. I was sure the fantasies would fade as quickly, it must be some kind of weird crush.

In the morning, I hoped everything would be normal. She had french toast and coffee waiting. "Oh boy, that looks good." We sat and sipped our coffee. It felt a little awkward for a minute, and our talking seemed a bit stilted. Pretty sure that was just me. It passed pretty quickly, much to my relief. She told me a funny story about her old job, and that started us laughing and trying to top the last story.

I got up and refilled our cups. Everything was back to normal and I was happy.

The dreams and fantasies didn't fade away. The sex was lovemaking or seduction every time. It was freaking me out

A few nights later I quickly sat up in bed. I realized it was because I was beyond falling in love with her. My thoughts were a whirlpool, "I guess I've completely lost my mind. I can't ever let her know, she would hate me. Maybe I should just tell her, is it fair to have her think I'm thinking of her as a brother should? She wouldn't want to live here knowing how I feel. God, I couldn't stand her leaving, I'd die. What the hell is wrong with me? Maybe I need a therapist. Can't really see bringing this up. Doc, the problem is I'm a fucking pervert. Right. I'm screwed."

Life went on and we had a lot of fun exploring places in Michigan and close by states. I stuffed my feelings and kept myself from looking at certain parts- or at least not much.

Over breakfast one day, she said, "I feel like treating myself today, want to go shopping? I have to warn you, watching me buy clothes might be pretty boring. I can take your car if you want."

"Actually, that sounds fun."

"I've never met a guy who liked shopping, but sure seem to."

"Maybe it is the hunt. I even like grocery shopping, I think maybe I'm just weird."

"Good weird."

She shopped and really seemed to be having fun. That made it fun for me as well. I got to admire her openly. She would model outfits to get my opinion and I wasn't afraid to tell her I loved an outfit or hated it. "I appreciate your opinion, but it seems every one is either love it or hate it. Not once in between."

"Well, if an outfit doesn't make you look terrific, I hate them. You are a beautiful woman and you should have clothes that make you feel that way."

She smiled brightly for a second, "You're too sweet." She picked out quite a few outfits, all the ones I saw were very attractive on her. She was still looking when she told me she was going to buy intimates next and I took off to walk around the the kitchen stuff. She found me after a while and she had two really big bags, which I grabbed. "I am having so much fun! I haven't splurged on myself for years. But you must be bored to death."

"No, I'm having fun helping you pick out clothes. Seriously, I'm having a ball."

"So why did you wander off?"

"You said you were going into lingerie and I was afraid I would have a heart attack if you modeled those!"

"You are so funny, you always make me laugh."

My arms were full of bags. She hugged me and gave me kiss, a lot more than a peck, on the lips. We were walking through the mall and I suggested treating her to a manicure. She demurred, "Now watching that would be boring."

"Come on. I've seen you unhappy, I love seeing you happy. Please, I really want to."

I got her a manicure and pedicure. When she came out she was glowing. She showed of her long polished nails.

"That was great, I feel so pampered. You should see my toes!"

"I'll pass, I'm not really into feet." She whacked me.

I headed for the stylist in the mall. When we got there, I said, "Hey, how about a styling!"

She looked at me suspiciously, "You led me here on purpose, didn't you?"

"I confess. Don't make me lie to you. Look. I want you to get the whole treatment. Today is your day. Consider it my payment for you making me so damn happy." When she got in the chair, I stood at the register, The stylist came up, "Look, I want the whole deal, whatever she likes. Tell her it's a special package or something. No prices, and tell her the tip has to go on the card. Highlights, color, whatever. I would really appreciate it."

I sat and watched as she got the whole treatment. I was fooling around on my phone when she came out. I looked up and got a shock. "Oh my god, you look fucking gorgeous! Sorry, I mean gorgeous."

She grinned, "Shut up."

"No, really. That is a great style, you look, uh, it looks really good on you."

She gave me a huge smile. "I got highlights and the stylist suggested this style. Do you really like it?"

"I'm not kidding, it looks great." I tipped the stylist 100%.

We went into Macy's and she said she was shopped for a bathing suit. I said I was going to get a couple of shirts. "So tell me, are you afraid I'll model the bathing suits?"

I was embarrassed. "Frankly, yes." I walked away and got a couple of shirts.

She came up and put her new bag into one of the giant bags I was carrying. "Oh, my. I guess I got carried away. That's a lot of bags. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings about the bathing suits. It was a thoughtless joke and I am sorry."

"We're good, I took it too seriously, you don't need to apologize. As for the bags, I think I can carry more, do your worst. Men don't have feelings, but we can carry stuff." She found that pretty funny.

"Why are you doing all this for me?"

"For you? I get to be around all day, spending time with a beautiful woman. Maybe it's all for me."

She looked at me for a count of three, I started to think I said too much. Then she laughed softly, "You always make me feel very pretty, so maybe that really is why."