All Comments on 'Taking Josh'

Desperately seeking an editor. This submission was very confusing with the pronouns, typos, etc. There was something there, just not fully developed. Even if you don't get an editor, you can still edit your own work. A good rule of thumb-- READ IT ALOUD! You can catch your own mistakes that way. I think you may have been too caught up in trying to tell the story. Your brain was faster than your pen/pc? Anyway, try again. Do NOT give up. Nothing beats a failure but a try.

Good effort. The story was definitely in need of editing and character development. I like my smut direct and to the point but I wanted a little more.

thanks for the tips, Its my first story so yeah I know I need to work on it.This shit is just a hobby to me though and I do it whenever I am bored.

I have jacked off numerous times to this story...it is one of the hottest stories I have read here....

Your story is a good start, but you need to continue it. Give Josh or the narrator some chest hair, add some excitement to their time spent together. Let them explore each other's bodies, spend the day or weekend together, enjoy multiple positions, mutual sucking, etc.

Seriously….you just shoved your “dry” hard cock in his ass. And then all nine inches dry. After two inches in, he would have pulled back and you never would have fucked him again. You could have made this so sensual for his first time and then taken him hard once your cum was in him. Are you even gay? Sounds to me like you need some experience.