Tales from the Stream Ch. 16

"Who the fuck are you?" grumbled Amaliya. "Some advertising AI?"

"Nah. I'm you."

"Fuck off."

"You don't remember the pink haired biker phase?" The holographic teen chomped at a wad of gum in her mouth. "I do. You posted it all over social media. You were very proud your rebellion. Even though you pretty much looked just like every other girl on the net with mommy issues. But hey, it's the thought that counts, right?"

Amaliya scowled. "You're not real."

The holographic teen leaned in to stare directly in Amaliya's eyes. She tapped her temple with a finger. "Honey, if I ain't real, then you ain't real. Capice?"

"Fuck off."

"That's always your answer isn't it? Somebody says something you don't like. A truth you don't want to hear, and what do you do? Throw up a wall around yourself. Smolder until they prod you in just the right place and then you come out with claws unsheathed. Which, I would like to point out, is exactly what you're doing now."

Amaliya cast her gaze to the pavement. "You're not real."

The teen girl moved out of Amaliya's line of view and walked along beside her. "Hey, I get it," she said. "You've got mommy issues. Who wouldn't? After the way she treated you."

"You don't know anything about that."

"I know everything about that," said the holographic teen walking beside Amaliya. "I'm you, remember."

"No. You. Are. Not." Amaliya wrapped her arms around herself.

"So I wouldn't know anything about how many weeks you spent trying to find the courage to tell Mommy about your little secret. How you were into girls. Nah, I wouldn't know anything about that."

"Shut up."

"And out come the claws." The hologram stepped out in front of Amaliya, walking backward, keeping perfect pace. "Listen, I get it, alright? If anybody understands, it's me."

Amaliya said nothing. She kept her eyes to the pavement.

"You'd expect your mom to understand, too, though. I know I did," said the holographic teen. "I mean, how many times did you barf on the carpet that time the stomach flu was going around school. Did she ever complain as she scrubbed up the remains of your lunch?

"You think you could trust a mother like that with your innermost secrets, wouldn't you? But when you told her you liked girls... Mm-mmm. That was the wrong thing to say, wasn't it? Things pretty much went to shit after that."

"Shut up," Amaliya grumbled.

"Tell me it ain't true and I'll stop," said the hologram.

Amaliya said nothing.

"Mm-hmm, that's what I thought." The holographic teen leaned closer. She was wearing her hair in a ponytail again. "What if I told you you could make it all go away?"

"You gonna erase my memory? No thanks."

"Not erase. Replace." The hologram was dressed in a varsity letter sweater. On the billboards over head, Amaliya noticed she was walking alongside the young woman. They were holding hands and approaching Amaliya's front porch.

"No," mumbled Amaliya, "No. I don't want to--"

"It's okay. Look."

On the billboard overhead, Amaliya's mother was smiling. She held out a plate of chocolate chip cookies. 'I'd love to meet your new girlfriend,' scrolled across the bottom.

"It's... It's not..."

"What? Real?" said the hologram. "Of course not. You're much to smart to believe that pitch. It's surrogate therapy, honey. We don't erase the past, we replace the past. Let you relive those traumatic events, but with the happy ending this time. The way you want it to be. The way you need it to be."

"No."

"Oh, come on. What's better, a head full of painful memories or a fresh plate of cookies with Mom and your new girlfriend?"

"No."

"They're chocolate chip..." On the billboard, the teen in the varsity sweater reached out toward the plate while Amaliya's mother smiled.

"No. It's not real."

"So that's what you want? Real? Real, like Mom barricading herself in the guestroom, crying day in and day out, because she'll never get to be a grandmother. Because her selfish, pigheaded daughter can't get it out of her head that she wants to finger bang the prom queen?" The teen hologram shrugged. "Suit yourself."

Amaliya sniffled. "Stop it."

"Isn't that why Daddy ran off? He couldn't stand living with the empty shell his wife had become? That sad sack of useless--"

"Stop it! Just stop it!"

"All because you can't keep you mind off the girls." The hologram shook her head. She was dressed in the motorcycle leathers again. "I mean if I could have a do-over on anything, I think that'd be at the top of my list. Capice?"

"No, no, no! It's not my fault! It's not."

"We can make it go away. Remember it the way you always wanted it to be. All you have to do is--"

"No!" Amaliya lashed out, clawing at the air in front of her. "Get away from me!"

Jade moved beside her, took Amaliya's hand and began weaving their fingers together. "Hey, I've got you. Let's stick together. We'll keep each other safe."

* * *

Jade

Jade walked along, head held high, looking from one billboard to the next. Visions of lush forests, cut by clear running streams flooded her field of view. A hawk soared overhead.

A young woman shouldering a large orange pack with carbon fiber framing came up on Jade's right. "Nice isn't it?", she said.

"Mm-hmm."

"I'm Mandy." The woman extended her hand.

Jade reached out. She looked Mandy over, from the bandana rolled up and tied around her head, to the woolen socks peeking out of her boots.

"I just love the outdoors," said Mandy. "Don't you?"

"Mm-hmm."

"Especially being from the city. I never got out much. You probably know what that's like. But now. Ever since I discovered Happy Trails Adventures, it's been one epic view after another."

"I bet."

"Hey look." Mandy pointed. "There's a moose in the distance. See him? Look at those antlers. Nice rack, huh?"

"Nice rack." Jade chuckled.

"Yeah. I said it." Holographic Mandy reached up to slip the top button of her shirt. She didn't stop until three more were free. Mandy reached in and circled her left nipple with her index finger. The fabric of her shirt showed the effect. "I love the outdoors. A night under the stars. A nice girl to share a sleep sack with when it gets chilly. Happy Trails Adventures aims to please."

"I've already got a nice girl to share my sleep sack with."

"Have you ever told her you love her? Or do you just drag your tongue through her garden every now and again and hope she'll understand?"

"I... I... Listen--"

"Hey, it's cool. No business of mine, right." Mandy had reached in to the right side of her shirt and was busy making a bump to match the left. "Our Xīn Shenzhen branch office is just up ahead. Seeing that you're going that way anyhow..."

"Forget it, sister. This ain't my first trip around the block. I know exactly what you're trying to do and it's not going to work."

"Yeah, you're right," said Mandy. She reached into her pocket and pulled out a clear plastic bag of tan powder. She held in in front of Jade's face. "How about a virtual vacation, then? Check out of life for a few hours and be back for dinner."

"I don't do that shit."

"No. No you don't. You just sell it." Holographic Mandy's eyes became rimmed with dark circles. Her face was ashen. She rolled up her left sleeve to reveal a line of red dots in various states of scabbing and fading. "Can you hook a girl up, though?"

"No." Jade pushed past.

"Aw, come on." Mandy hustled to catch up to Jade. She was back to her bubbly, outdoorsy self. "Just havin' a bit of fun."

Jade pushed past.

Mandy caught up. "Seriously though, we're looking for someone in distribution. Not Happy Trails Adventures, per se, but another client. I could make an introduction."

"What part of no do you not understand."

"No," said Mandy. She was holding a juicer in her right hand. "Interesting turn of phrase. Isn't that what he said when you bashed him upside the head? No? Over and over? No."

"Go. Away. Mandy."

Mandy hustled forward to stand in front of Jade. "You know, when you bashed him with this." Mandy swung the holographic juicer through the air just centimeters in front of Jade's face. There was holographic blood on the edge of it.

Jade dashed her hands in her pockets and turned her gaze to the pavement.

"It's cool. Not like he didn't have it coming."

"Fuck you."

"Fuck me?" said Mandy. "Fuck me? No. Fuck you, Jade."

Jade heard a sickening crunch. "What the--?" She stopped in her tracks and looked around. Pedestrian traffic parted and flowed around her. She looked up.

On the billboard she saw an image of herself standing over an image of her mother's boyfriend. She swung the juicer high above her head and brought it down. The sound of a second crunch filled her ears.

"Stop it. Just--"

"Plenty of openings in enforcement." Mandy smiled. "If you've got the stones for it. And obviously you do."

"No. It wasn't... He was... My mom..."

"Shh," said Mandy. "My employer doesn't ask for justification. They only care if you can do it again. You can do it again, can't you Jade? Still got enough anger pushed down inside."

Jade hung her head. "I'm not like that. I don't--"

"Spare me," said Mandy. "Given the same situation, you'd do it again, wouldn't you? Why not get paid for it? You've obviously got the talent."

Jade clenched her fist. She bored her gaze into Mandy's.

Mandy stepped aside and left Jade staring at the billboard. On the screen was an image of Jade. The juicer in her hand had been replaced with a gun. It was leveled at her mother's boyfriend.

"All we need to know," said Mandy, "is can you do it again?"

"I... I..." Jade stared at the billboard. The image on the screen was squeezing at the trigger. A single tear welled in Jade's eye and ran down her cheek. "I..."

Dozens of ghostly images surrounded Jade. They clawed at her. She tried to shake them off. "Jade," they shouted.

"Captain Jade!"

"No... no... I'm not..."

"Captain," said Lúcia. "We are here. The forge. It is just through this doorway. Captain Jade? Are you alright?"

"I'm..." Jade shook her head. "Thank you. Thank you, Lúcia."

"Captain." Lúcia held out her hand. "Take my hand. Lean on me if you need to. Or Amaliya or Emily or Aidoru. We will get through. Together."

* * *

Back on The Black Prince.

Jade shuffled down the corridor, leaving a trail of clothes as she went. "If anybody needs me, I'll be in the shower," she announced.

Amaliya looked at the faces around her. She looked at Jade. "Wait up, I'm coming with you."

"Baby, I don't know if I'm ready for that kind of--"

"Not for sexy stuff," said Amaliya. "I feel like I've got a layer of slime on me that needs a good scrubbing."

Emily glanced at Lúcia and Aidoru. She turned her gaze to Jade and Amaliya. "Um," she said.

Jade held her hand up and waved it forward. "Come on."

Lúcia and Aidoru stood looking at each other.

"You too, girls," said Jade.

* * *

In the stateroom.

Jade emerged naked from the en suite with a towel in her hands. She rubbed at her hair, cast the towel aside and collapsed on the bed.

"That's not who I am," mumbled Jade as she wrapped her arms around a bed pillow and squeezed. "Not anymore."

"Fucking ad execs," Amaliya said as she tossed her towel. "Who the fuck gives shit like that the green light? I feel so... violated."

Amaliya crawled into bed and snuggled up beside Jade. "Baby," she whispered.

A single tear ran down Jade's cheek.

"Come here," said Amaliya. She wrapped her arms around Jade and pulled her to her chest.

"Can I be the big spoon?" said Emily. "I feel like I need a little human contact after all that."

Amaliya nodded and Emily wrapped around behind her. "Thanks," said Emily.

"Any more room?" asked Lúcia. "I don't think I'll be spending much time on the Megacomf for a while."

"Really?" said Amaliya. "I thought you loved... What happened to sainthood? Saint Brian of the Megacomf. Bringing comfort to the masses."

"Did you not see his deplorable behavior on the planet?"

Amaliya shook her head. "Everyone sees their own projection. Even the billboards are personalized."

"He was... He tried to convince me... He insulted Aidoru."

"Plenty of room in the big bed," said Emily scooting over. "Hop in."

Lúcia tossed her towel and crawled in, followed by Aidoru. All three Aidoru were cooing over Lúcia.

"It's not really Megacomf Brian, you know," said Amaliya. "Some wiz kids in R&D probably mapped Megacomf Brian's image onto an AI and showed it to Marketing. It gave some asshole V.P. a boner, so he rubber stamped the project and out the door it went. No one thinks twice about the effect on the consumer."

"It will take some time to forget the experience," said Lúcia.

"I'm sorry," said Jade. "I should have made you all stay on the ship where you'd be safe."

"Safe?" said Amaliya, tucking her finger under Jade's chin and peering into her eyes. "I always feel safest when I'm with you."

"Thanks, baby."

"I too feel safe here," said Lúcia. "You have assembled a fine crew, Captain Jade."

Jade reached out to take Lúcia's hand. "Thank you. And thanks for, you know, um, looking out for us spiritually and all."

"You are a good person, Captain Jade."

"Aye," said Emily. "Finest Pirate Captain in the stream if you ask me."

"I'm glad you're with us." Jade reached out for Emily's hand.

"And who's this?" said Amaliya, turning her head to the doorway where Reg stood, dragging several pouches of tea in his pincers.

"Aidoru?" said Jade. "Can you help Reg climb up?"

Aidoru took four pouches of tea in one hand and extended another toward Reg.

"How did they know all that information about us?" asked Lúcia. "To put those images in our heads?"

"Social media," said Emily, sipping at her tea. "Stuff like that."

"But I have not... I grew up in a convent. Yet, I feel the holographic Megacomf Brian had a window into my mind. He mentioned things I have never expressed."

"Facial cues," said Amaliya. "Advertising AIs love that shit. They say something or show you something and watch for your reaction to decide what to do next."

Emily nodded. "It's like playing twenty questions. Even after just a few, they get pretty close to the answer. And it's hard to lie when they're programmed to read your body language."

"It's sick, really," said Amaliya.

"You really saw Megacomf Brian?" said Emily. "I guess that's not too surprising."

Lúcia nodded.

"How's that play out for sainthood? Not too good, huh?"

Lúcia shrugged.

"You know the real Megacomf Brian is probably a pretty stand up guy," said Amaliya. "Mostly interested in making sofas, I'd bet. It always starts out about the engineering and the materials, and the comfort of the cushions. Then someone from Marketing comes down and says, 'hey, I bet we could sell more sofas if we ran this campaign.'"

"It's like a serpent,

"Offering you a contract,

"Signed with Toblerone." said Aidoru.

"That's what you saw?" said Amaliya. "Trippy."

"What about you?" asked Emily.

"Mom," said Amaliya. "I saw my mom. In a surrogate memory ad."

"Ew, those are the creepiest," said Emily.

"What'd you get?"

"Employment ads. Apparently, my social media and facial cues say I really want to work in the tech field again."

"Do you miss it?"

"I'm not planning to jump ship if that's what you're asking."

"Me neither," said Amaliya.

Emily turned to Jade. "So what'd you see, Cap'n? Somebody tying to sell you a shiny new ship? Maybe something with a working galley?"

Jade let out a sigh. "I'd rather not... Maybe later."

"Sure. Sorry."

"It's alright. What's important is we got the part for Joan's ship and we all came through together."

Amaliya took a pull on her pouch of tea. "What is it they liked to say on the old sailing ships? Huzzah or something? Well... Huzzah!" Amaliya raised her pouch of tea in the air.

"Huzzah!" said the rest.

"Anybody else feel like they need a nap?" asked Emily, stifling a yawn.

Amaliya nodded, followed by Lúcia, Jade, and Aidoru. All five women set their tea pouches aside and dashed their hands beneath the top sheet. Under the covers they all found the hand of the woman next to them and wove their fingers together.

"Together," whispered Jade, as she closed her eyes.

"Together," replied the crew.

* * *

Afterword

A bit about Megacomf Brian. Like most of my characters, Megacomf Brian is an amalgamation. He's one part Austin Powers with the plaid suits, cheesy gestures, and go-go girls. He's one part Empire Carpet guy, which if you grew up anywhere near Chicago or within the WGN broadcast radius, you can probably recite their phone number from memory. He's also one part actual dude. And the actual dude is nothing like the creepy AI. The actual dude would give you a well crafted sofa without insulting your girlfriend.