Tales from the Stream Ch. 17

Author's Note

This one's a short chapter, and much more lighthearted than the last one. Just a small slice of daily life onboard The Black Prince.

Chapter 17: Cliché

In the stateroom

"Captain Jade?" Lúcia stood at the foot of the bed, her gaze cast to the floor. "Are you chilly?"

"Hmm?" Jade rolled over and rubbed her eyes.

"Are you chilly?" Lúcia gripped the top snap of her crew jumpsuit between her finger and thumb. "Sometimes when I am feeling a chill--"

"Yeah, sure. Hop in." Jade threw the bed covers to one side. "No boots in the bed, though."

"Of course not." Lúcia left her jumpsuit in a puddle on the floor and padded over to the side of the bed on bare feet. "May I be the little spoon this morning?"

"Sure." Jade pulled the covers up as soon as Lúcia lay down. The two curled together.

"I feel warmer already."

"Mm-hmm." Jade yawned and closed her eyes.

Lúcia snuggled in closer.

Jade let out a sigh. Lúcia let out a sigh.

Jade opened her eyes and sat up.

"Captain?" said Lúcia.

"Just going for a pee."

Lúcia stretched out her hand. "Don't be long."

While Jade wandered to the en suite, Lúcia turned her gaze to the doorway. Amaliya, Emily, and Aidoru were all standing on the other side peering in. Amaliya was holding a platter. Aidoru held several pouches of tea. Reg was riding on Emily's shoulder.

Lúcia looked at the women gathered outside the stateroom and quickly shook her head. Collectively, they took a step back.

A flushing sound signaled Jade's departure from the en suite. She exited wearing a thick, terrycloth robe. "I should go check on Amaliya, see if she wants me to relieve her in the conn."

"Captain?"

"She shouldn't have to pull extra duty just so I can sleep in."

"I think it is okay to sleep in once in a while, don't you?" Lúcia wrapped her arms around herself and shivered. "Besides, who else will keep me warm?"

"Doesn't Aidoru usually take on that duty? Where is she? Where's anybody? It's unusually quiet this morning." Jade looked around.

"Captain?" Lúcia put on a pout.

"Okay, sure," said Jade. She ran a hand through her hair and sauntered to the king-sized bed. "Don't let me sleep too long, okay?"

Lúcia held the covers aside. Jade shed her robe and crawled in.

"Surprise!" Emily and Aidoru burst through the doorway. Amaliya followed with the platter.

"What?" said Jade, rolling over. "What's this?"

"Breakfast in bed, Captain," said Amaliya, thrusting out the platter.

Lúcia was grinning from ear to ear.

"It's not my birthday." Jade scratched the back of her neck. "At least, I don't think so."

"Just because, Captain." Lúcia leaned over and kissed Jade on the cheek.

"You," said Jade, poking Lúcia on the shoulder. "You were sent in here to distract me."

Lúcia blushed.

"Well, don't just stand there," said Jade. "Hop in. The lot of you. But no boots in the bed, okay?"

Amaliya left her jumpsuit on the floor and handed the platter to Lúcia before plopping, unceremoniously, into the middle of the bed. She was followed by Emily. Everyone scooted to the right when Aidoru entered on the side by Lúcia.

"Now the stars have aligned," said Jade. She accepted a pouch of tea from Aidoru and turned her eyes to the platter Amaliya was balancing on her knees. "And what's this you've constructed?"

"Breakfast in bed for our favorite captain," said Amaliya. "I wanted to do lox and bagles, or maybe an omelet, but we don't have any lox. Or bagles. Or eggs for omelets. All we have is pilot biscuits and Marmite. I hope that's okay."

"Mm-hmm." Jade picked up a Marmite covered biscuit and took a bite. She examined the platter. "Ooh, and a little salad, too."

"Emily made it. With diced cucumbers and tomatoes from Lúcia's garden."

"It's got minced parsley, dill, and mint," said Emily. "Reg did the mincing. He's really good at it."

Reg bounced up and down.

Jade scooped a little of the salad mixture on top of her remaining pilot biscuit, hoisted it in Reg's direction, winked, and popped it in her mouth. "Mm," she said, nodding. "Mm-hmm."

"You like it?" asked Amaliya.

"Oh yeah, this is great." Jade nodded as she took another bite. "Everybody dig in. Don't be shy."

Everyone except for Reg picked up a pilot biscuit and topped it with vegetables. Reg crawled over to perch on Jade's shoulder and nudged her until she gave him tummy rubs.

"I really like the mint," said Jade. "Gives it a nice kick."

"We thought you might need a little pick me up," said Amaliya. "You seemed a little down after our visit to Xīn Shenzhen.

"Mm." Jade took another bite of biscuit. "Mm-hmm."

Amaliya turned to Jade. "If you want to talk about it..."

"We're here for you, Captain," said Emily. "If you want to talk."

"It's nothing really," said Jade, as she chewed. "Just some stuff from my checkered past. Bygones."

Emily blew out a sigh. "You're such a cliché," she said.

"Me?" said Jade.

"Yes, you," said Emily. "Typical butch. Too busy being tough and too wrapped up in herself to talk about her feelings. Always has to keep everything bottled up inside."

"I'm a cliché?" said Jade, touching her fingers to the center of her chest, still chewing. "Me?"

Emily nodded once. "Yep."

"Seriously? A bunch of lesbians drinking tea, who suddenly get the urge to talk about feelings? And you think I'm a cliché. The only thing that could make this more cliché would be if we were in a coffee shop right now, with some indie folk musician in the corner, playing for tips. Seriously." Jade reached for another pilot biscuit.

"What is this cliché?" asked Aidoru.

"It's something lesbians do?

"Am I a cliché?"

"You're a J-pop star who used to dress up in provocative school girl outfits," said Jade. "So yeah, maybe."

"Captain." Lúcia looked at Jade and frowned.

"What?" said Jade. "And a bunch of naked lesbians sharing one big bed? Doesn't that seem a little over the top? What's next after breakfast, a pillow fight?"

"Captain," said Lúcia. "Your tone."

Aidoru stared at Jade. "If you'd like me to,

"I'll whack her with a pillow.

"I might feel better."

"I'm next," said Emily. "I don't know what's gotten into you, Captain Jade, but I don't think I like it."

"You started it," said Jade.

"Oh. My. God," said Amaliya.

"I know, right," said Emily.

"No." Amaliya held her hand over her mouth. "I just realized... I'm a..." she muttered. "I'm a cliché."

"No, you're not," said Jade, holding her hand out to Amaliya. "Baby, I was just teasing. I got carried away. I'm sorry."

Amaliya pulled back. She sat up in the middle of the bed, hugging herself and rocking back and forth.

"Okay. Aren't you being a bit overly dramatic?" said Jade.

"Lesbian drama," whispered Emily. "So cliché."

Amaliya bored her gaze into Jade's. "You were there on Xīn Shenzhen. You know what my advertising AI went for. I'm a lesbian with mommy issues."

"Baby."

"I'm a lesbian with mommy issues, because her coming out announcement backfired in a major way. And what did I do?" Amaliya threw up her hands. "I ran off and shacked up with the first cute butch I found."

"We..." said Jade. "We kind of stole a spaceship. I mean, it's not like we had our first date and then rented a U-Haul."

"We might as well have."

Jade pressed a finger to her temple and shook her head.

"Would anyone like to listen to some music," offered Lúcia. "I often find when I am stressed, music helps to calm me down."

"Maybe that's a good idea," said Jade, "I think we could all use a little calming. What do you have in mind?"

Lúcia turned to Aidoru. "You have a vast selection."

Aidoru nodded.

"Any Indigo Girls?"

"Oh, my..." said Jade. "No!"

"Tegan and Sara, perhaps? Marie-Anne recently introduced me to--"

"No, no, and more no," said Jade. "Seriously? It doesn't get any more lesbian cliché than that."

Lúcia cocked her head. "But... It is the most soothing music... And with lyrical themes dealing with situations to which I think we can all relate."

Jade folded her arms across her chest. She shook her head once and stared.

Lúcia let out a sigh.

"A pillow fight, then?" said Aidoru.

"I still want to whack someone.

"Perhaps Captain Jade."

"Look, I'm sorry," said Jade. "But first you're all complaining that I won't open up, and then when I do... Aidoru wants to pummel me."

"You did insult her girlfriend's taste in music," said Emily.

"I'm sorry," said Jade. "Really, I am. I just--"

"I'm a lesbian with mommy issues." Amaliya hugged her knees to her chest and rocked back and forth. "Oh my God. I'm a lesbian with mommy issues who ran off and shacked up with the first dashing pilot she met."

"Okay, look," said Jade. She pushed her plate aside and sat up in then bed.

Reg, jumped out of the way, but not quite in time and wound up careening into the pillow. He stood up with his eye stalks rolling in circles.

"We even have a cute little harvester crab for comic relief," wailed Amaliya. "Next thing you know, we'll be posting adorable pictures of him on the net."

"With cute little captions like, 'I can haz Marmite biscuit?'" added Emily.

"Look, that's not what lesbians do," said Jade. "Everybody does that. Not that I'm saying lesbians have a specific way of using the net. And anyway, if we do, who cares?"

Emily stared. Lúcia and Aidoru turned their gaze as well. Amaliya continued rocking back and forth. No one said a word.

"I'm a lesbian with mommy--"

Jade put her finger to her lips. "Shh."

"Don't shush me. Just keep those feelings bottle up behind that tough butch exterior. Bottle them up and load them into the back of the U-Haul."

"Baby." Jade reached out. She wrapped her arms around Amaliya's shoulders. "Baby, I'm sorry. It's okay. We can all be one big cliché for all I care. What's important is that we're together... and moderately happy."

"But... But, my mom." Amaliya sniffled. "Why?"

"Shh, I've got you." Jade turned her eyes to Aidoru. "Maybe a little music would be a good idea after all. Tegan and Sara?"

Aidoru turned her eyes to the ceiling, chewing her lip for a moment. Finally, she shook her head.

"Indigo Girls, then? Melissa Etheridge?"

"Come to My Window?" said Aidoru.

"I have that on my playlist.

"You want to hear it?"

Jade nodded.

Aidoru turned her attention to the wall opposite the bed for a moment. A blue LED illuminated next to a flush mounted speaker grill. The sound of a solo bassline being plucked out filled the air. It was soon joined by a woman's voice, and later an electric guitar.

"Most soothing," said Lúcia, sighing. She wrapped her arms around the Aidoru closest to her and laid her head on Aidoru's chest.

Jade planted a kiss on Amaliya's forehead. "Feeling any better?"

Amaliya nodded.

"I'm sorry I got everyone so upset," said Jade. "You were all so nice, surprising me with breakfast in bed. And I went and ruined it with my cliché comment."

Amaliya looked up. "Would you come to my window, Captain Jade? If I asked you to?"

"Anytime, baby." Jade hugged Amaliya to her chest. "Anytime."

Emily smirked. "That is so cliché."

"It is," said Jade. "But, you know what? That's okay. Maybe there's people in this galaxy who would look at us and laugh. But I don't care. If I'm a cliché, so what?"

"You are, you know," whispered Emily.

"I know." Jade shook her head. "You want to know what my advertising AI showed me on Xīn Shenzhen? It was me with a gun pressed to the head of my Mom's boyfriend."

"The one from the juicer incident?" asked Emily.

"The very same."

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have pushed..."

"Nah," said Jade. "It's fine. And totally cliché, don't you think? A violent, man hating lesbian?"

"You're not..." said Amaliya. "You're a good person."

"Even if you are a bit cliché," said Emily, smirking.

"Yeah, I'll admit it," said Jade.

"So you're the man hater," said Amaliya. "I'm the one with mommy issues. What's your cliché, Emily?"

"I don't know. The girl who turns gay at the first sight of a lesbian?"

"You weren't always? I thought..."

"Meh. I was kind of on the fence. I've had good relationships with men and women in the past. Mostly platonic, some less so." Emily shifted her gaze to Jade and the Amaliya. "But then along comes the dashing Captain Jade and the voluptuous first mate, Amaliya, and I'm corrupted for life."

Emily pressed the back of her hand to her forehead and tumbled onto the mattress.

Amaliya chuckled. "Us lesbian chicks'll do that to ya every time. Always out to corrupt and convert impressionable young things to our ranks."

"I wouldn't change a minute of it," said Emily.

"And sweet Aidoru," said Amailya, "the hypersexual J-pop star from Neo Tokyo who presents as triplets and has a penchant for tied blouses, mini skirts, and riot boots. Do I need to go on?"

"Yes, guilty as charged.

"I'm all of the things you said.

"And I love my girl." Aidoru grinned as she curled tighter around Lúcia.

Lúcia sighed. "This could only be better if we were all in a hot tub together."

Everyone turned to stare at Lúcia.

"Do you not often think of sharing a warm bath together? In sisterhood and solidarity? Onboard the Hildegard von Bingen we would often pair off to share a bath. More often than not, in fact..." Lúcia looked at the faces surrounding her. "To, um... to conserve water."

"Mm-hmm," said Amaliya.

"And there is this place in the middle of your back," continued Lúcia. "The place no one can ever reach with a cloth, unless you have someone in the tub to help."

Emily nodded.

"It is impossible to wash, otherwise."

"Holy sisters in a hot tub," said Jade.

"Totally cliché," said Emily, still nodding her head.

"But in the best possible way," said Amaliya. "I'm liking the visions it puts in my head."

"I would wash your back," said Aidoru.

"Anytime you need it, love.

"I'll be your scrubber."

"Aww. That is so sweet," said Amaliya.

"And totally, cliché, I might add," said Emily.

Lúcia shrugged and turned her concentration back to snuggling with Aidoru. "It is in the middle of my back," she said.

Aidoru touched her finger between Lúcia's shoulder blades.

"Down a bit."

Aidoru dragged her finger downward.

"Almost," said Lúcia, "That is it. Right there."

"I will remember," said Aidoru, tracing random loops with her finger.

"Anytime you need a scrub.

"I will find this spot."

"Oui, ma chérie." Lúcia shuddered. "Oui."

"All those in favor of not giving a shit if we're a cliché, say aye," said Jade.

A chorus of voices filled the stateroom.

"Opposed?"

Silence.

"Great," said Jade. "Now who wants to have a pillow fight?"

"A lesbian pillow fight?" asked Lúcia, raising her head from Aidoru's chest and reaching for a pillow.

"Is there any other kind?" said Jade, reaching for another pillow.

Reg began to back away, shifting his eye stalks between Lúcia and Jade.

Emily traded a glance with Reg. "Lesbian pillow fights. Such a cliché," she said, as she reached for a pillow.

"I will pummel you." Aidoru reached for three pillows.

"Seriously. All of you.

"You're all going down."

"Not without a fight, sister" said Amaliya, snatching the final pillow and taking a swing. She landed her first shot on the side of Aidoru's head.

The entire stateroom was silent for a moment. Then, Aidoru flew out from under the covers and took up a fighting stance in the middle of the bed. She spouted a rapid-fire string of something in Japanese, and came out swinging.

"You are so toast," said Amaliya, grinning madly.

While Jade was lining up her shot, she glanced at Reg, still creeping away slowly and dragging the plate of Marmite covered biscuits with him. She waited until all that could be seen were two eye stalks peeking out from under the bed before she whacked Emily on top of the head.

"Violent man hater," muttered Emily.

"U-Hauler." Jade chuckled, as she wound up for another swing.

Aidoru turned one head toward the sound system just as Melissa Etheridge was fading out. She nodded once and the Indigo Girls kicked in. Turning her full attention back to the group, Aidoru spun a pillow over her head and lunged back into the fray.