Tales from the Stream Ch. 24

Author's Note

To get you caught up, our intrepid gang of lesbian space pirates has recently sprung a group of nine young women from the clutches of a creepy cult leader. They're now taking refuge on the old orbital farm the pirates have been calling home.

As with the majority of stories in this series, the focus is more the camaraderie of found family than wham bam sexiness.

Chapter 24: Shopping

Onboard the station, In a patch of wildflowers

Amaliya lay sprawled on the ground with her hands behind her head, fingers interlocked. She wore a wide grin and nothing else. "You were amazing," she said, heaving a deep breath and letting it out in a long sigh.

"Thank you," said a grinning Captain Jade, who was lying next to Amaliya, on her side and propped on one elbow. Jade swooped in to plant a kiss on Amaliya's cheek.

"Mmm," said Amaliya.

Captain Jade rolled onto her back, brought her knees up to her chest, and in one smooth motion rolled forward onto her feet and stood up. She reached for her jumpsuit, lying in a heap a half meter away.

"Honey?" said Amaliya. "Where are you going?"

"Busy day today," said Jade zipping her jumpsuit and extending her hand toward Amaliya.

Amaliya ignored Jade's offer to help her up and locked her gaze on Jade instead. "Really? We're in the middle of a meadow on an abandoned space station. In a system that's probably not even on the map. Tell me, what's on your agenda for today?"

"Shopping," said Jade, pushing her hand out further toward Amaliya.

Amaliya rolled her eyes as she rolled to one side and hoisted herself up to a sitting position. "Shopping?"

"Imma 'bout to pop some tags." Jade began moving in a tight, backward circle, bopping her head as she intoned the words. "Got that Dogecoin in my pocket."

"I guess the dream of post-orgasmic cuddling is right out then." Amaliya snagged her jumpsuit in her hand and stood up.

"I'm sorry... I..." Jade stopped her impromptu dance.

"It's okay," said Amaliya, standing on one foot as she pushed the other through the leg of her jumpsuit.

Jade briefly pulled her mouth into a downward arc. "It's for the girls, if that makes it any better," she said.

"The cuddling?" said Amaliya, still stooped forward and now standing on the other foot and gathering up the empty leg of the jumpsuit.

"The shopping." said Jade.

"You're taking the girls shopping?"

"Yeah," said Jade. "I mean, they've spent how long in that dreadful cult? You know, before we sprung them. And all that time they were handing out flowers at the spaceport, they wore those dreary white robes, day in and day out. Now they're here with us and all we have to give them are dreary white Takahashi-Ono Agricultural Sciences Division corporate issued jumpsuits. I kind of figured a little shopping trip to--"

Amaliya didn't let Jade finish. She stood up straight and mashed her lips hard against Jade's. Amaliya also didn't finish zipping her jumpsuit. Instead, she took Jade's hands and pushed them under the gapping fabric until Jade was cupping her breasts.

Jade inhaled a deep breath after Amaliya released her lip lock. She locked eyes on Amaliya's chest. "I'm not arguing, but..."

"Jade Espinoza, you have the biggest heart of any pirate captain I've ever met."

"Meet a lot of pirate captains, do you?"

Amaliya took a half step back and smacked Jade on the shoulder. "Don't ruin it."

"Ow." Jade stepped back and peered at Amaliya with wide eyes. "Damn," she said, rubbing her shoulder.

As Amaliya laid her head on Jade's chest and encircled her with her arms, Jade's gaping mouth began to take on the form of an impish grin. The two women closed any distance between them. In the middle of the patch of wildflowers, they held each other for several minutes.

"I don't know if it's because you're the captain, or if it's just the way you're wired." Amaliya slid her right hand up Jade's back and wove her finger's into Jade's close cropped hair as she spoke. "You're always looking out for everyone else. So many selfish people in this galaxy. And you want to take the girls shopping so they'll have something fun to wear. It's refreshing."

Jade straightened her posture. Her face was beaming.

"It's what I love about you," said Amaliya, tugging with her right hand, pulling Jade in for another marathon kiss.

When Amaliya released her, Jade began her backward circle dance again. "Imma 'bout to pop some tags..."

Amaliya rolled her eyes once before throwing her arm over Jade's shoulder and matching the movements of her feet. "Got that Dogecoin in my pocket..."

Mia's meadow

Everyone was gathered near the airlock. Sister Jane and Aidoru were busy hustling back and forth to where the Hildegard von Bingen's was docked, carrying bowls of oatmeal sprinkled with cinnamon from the ship's galley. They were passing the breakfast bowls to the crew and guests.

"So we had this idea," said Amaliya, accepting a bowl. She turned to Jade for a moment and then back to the group. "We were talking about taking our newest friends--"

"Imma 'bout to pop some tags." Jade bopped her head to a beat that only she heard. She marched in front of Amaliya, rhythmically swinging her arms and punctuating her words with hand movements.

"Got that Dogecoin in my pocket." Jade strutted around picking up a bowl of oatmeal along the way. "I'm huntin'--"

Amaliya planted her spoon in her bowl and her free hand on her hip. "Honey... not now. Please."

"Right," said Jade, stopping to stand beside Amaliya. "Sorry."

Amaliya shook her head. "Let's share our plan before we do our victory dance, okay?"

Jade held her lower lip in her teeth and moved her eyes to study the bowl of oatmeal in her hand.

"What is this popping tags?" Lúcia looked up from her own bowl of oatmeal.

"Thrift shopping," said Amaliya. "Jade had this idea to take our newest friends thrift shopping so they can get out of those boring old coveralls and into some new clothes. Isn't that wonderful?"

"Um, honey..." said Jade.

"I love thrift shops," gushed Amaliya. "You can find the best bargains. You're helping to reduce waste. Plus, the proceeds usually go to a good cause."

"Honey..."

"Have you ever been to a thrift shop, Lúcia?"

Lúcia shook her head.

"Um, honey..." said Jade.

"Oh, Lúcia," said Amaliya, "You're going to love it. There's nothing quite like--"

"Honey?"

"What?"

"I like thrift shops too, but I kinda had something else in mind for this trip."

Amaliya cocked her head to the side and scanned Jade from head to toe and back again with her eyes.

"I was thinking--"

"What about 'poppin tags'?" Amaliya straightened up, looking Jade in the eye.

Jade grinned and began moving in a backward circle again, around both Lúcia and Amaliya this time, raising herself on the tiptoe of her right foot while sliding her left and then repeating the process, alternating feet. "Imma 'bout to pop--"

Amaliya stepped into Jade's path.

"Tags..." said Jade. "What?"

"Where are we going for this... shopping?" asked Lúcia.

"We," said Jade, straightening up. "And I say we, because everyone's invited for this epic excursion. We're going to... wait for it... wait for it... Heart of Borneo."

Jade raised her eyebrows and surveyed the faces around her.

Amaliya's jaw dropped. She shook her head slowly.

Jade began moon-walking another circle around Lúcia and Amaliya. Emily, who stood outside the perimeter, her oatmeal perched atop the Michelin Guide tablet she held, and smirking as she watched.

"Heart of..." Amaliya let her words trail off as the color of crimson began rising in her cheeks.

"The rain forest?" said Lúcia. "I know of this rain forest. I have seen Heart of Borneo on The Discovery Channel. They have a fascinating array of wildlife. I did not know they offered shopping excursions as well. This will be exciting."

"They don't," said Amaliya.

Jade, bringing one foot up to a toe point while sliding the other backward, said. "We're not going to the actual rain forest. We're going to the shopping planet. Heart of Borneo Prime."

Amaliya stepped in Jade's path with her right hand up, palm out. She shook her head slowly. Emily, watching the situation unfold from the sideline, bit her lip to suppress a smirk. "And here we go," muttered Emily.

"You want to take everyone to Heart of Borneo Prime? The most wretched hive of capitalism in the galaxy? That's like the farthest thing from a thrift shop there is," said Amaliya. "No. Just no."

"But..." said Jade.

"Do you know what kind of conditions their employees are subjected to?" said Amaliya. "I... I just can't right now."

"I'm pretty sure it's all automated these days," said Emily.

"What's wrong with Heart of Borneo?" asked Jade.

"What's wrong with...?" Amaliya huffed. "Where do I start? Labor violations. Shady hiring practices. Union busting... And since when do the fucktards have a whole fucking planet?"

"Since like 2320," said Emily. "Business really took off after the pandemic."

"What...? Wait..." Jade turned to Amaliya and grimaced. "What happened to `I love you for taking the girls shopping?'"

"That was before..." Amaliya threw her hand against her hip. "I thought you were talking about a nice locally-owned thrift store. Something small, not-for-profit, maybe in a church basement somewhere. Using the profits they make to help the needy or something like that.

"A whole planet? Who the fuck needs a whole planet? Fucking Heart of Borneo. Those slimy capitalist... Oooh, I just can't right now."

"I think they own the local cluster now," said Emily, smirking.

"Why? Just why? And you..." Amaliya extended her index finger and poked Jade in the shoulder. "Besides the obvious moral dilemma of spending your hard earned money to feed the economic system that oppresses you, what makes you think you can even afford Heart of Borneo?"

"Um..." said Jade. "Clearance items and open box returns?"

"It is shopping? Not wildlife?" Lúcia turned to face Amaliya. "Why would they name it after a rain forest?"

"Because rain forests are big, honey," said Amaliya. "And having big things makes the capitalists feel less insecure about their small penises."

Emily swapped the positions of her bowl and Michelin Guide, chuckling briefly while she watched the scene unfold. She flicked her finger over the tablet while still chewing a bite. "It says here that Heart of Borneo Prime has no moons, but it does have an antique roadster in geosynchronous orbit with Heart of Borneo headquarters."

"No wildlife," said Lúcia, her brow furrowed, "but an automobile? In orbit? I find this fascinating, but again, I am confused as to why?"

"Small penises, honey." Amaliya held out her hand with her thumb and index finger outstretched. She brought her thumb and finger together until there was only a centimeter of space between them. "It's all down to small penises."

Lucia chewed her lip a moment. "A rain forest. But no wildlife."

"I still say you can't afford it," said Amaliya, looking directly at Jade. "Even if it were a good idea. And it's not. Their prices are predatory."

"No need to worry. We'll be perusing the restock and previously owned area of the planet." Jade wiggled her index and middle fingers in the air as she said the words, "previously owned."

"The junk people send back? That's not thrifty, it's tacit support for corporate write-off of environmentally unsustainable waste."

"It's not junk. It's open-box and previously owned. They have good bargains." Jade picked up the heal of her right foot. She slid backward on her left foot and repeated the movement twice more before she passed behind Amaliya. "I'm about to pop some tags... Got that Dogecoin in my pocket."

"Fine, whatever," huffed Amaliya. "I'll go. But only for the girls. I'm not buying anything."

"Lúcia?" said Jade.

"I am still not entirely sure what is happening, but I will go to this rain forest that is not a rain forest and take in the wonder of their orbiting automobile."

"I'll go too," said Captain Joan, stepping out from behind a knot of novices, dressed in Hildegard von Bingen jumpsuits and former cult members, clad in Takahashi-Ono corporate issue coveralls.

Emily stood silent.

"Em?" said Amailya.

"Me?" said Emily. "Maybe next time. I'm working on a... uh... project with Jamie."

"A project..." said Amaliya. "A project... Did I see quotation fingers around that... project?"

"Huh?" said Emily.

"If I have to venture into the lion's den of corporate greed, you're coming with me."

"No one say's you have to go," said Jade, still dancing.

"I'll go," repeated Captain Joan, moving closer. "Really, I want to."

Amaliya, took a look at the group of girls in coveralls milling about and munching on oatmeal, then at Jade, turning another backward circle and citing her intentions to "pop some tags."

Amaliya blew out a long breath. "Oh, I can't believe I'm agreeing to this. Union busting capitalist pigs."

Heart of Borneo, space elevator planet side terminus

"Okay," said Jade, "Everybody got a buddy?"

Moira, Alma, Janine, and the other girls in Takahashi-Ono coveralls turned their heads to the shining silver harvester crabs riding on their shoulders and nodded.

"Emotional support crabs don't count in this case," said Jade. Then turning to the harvester crab riding on her own shoulder, "No offense, Reg."

Reg rolled his eye stalks once and turned a half circle to present his backside to Jade. Several of the girls let their shoulders slump and began to wander off.

"This was not in the plan," muttered Jade, looking around at the group. "Okay, everybody... I'm going to need you to, um..."

To Jade's right, Captain Joan pressed her thumb and middle finger together, stuck them in her mouth and let out a shrill whistle. "Listen up, people," she said. "I need seven novices. Front and center. Lenore, Anna, grab some friends."

The group of novices popped up their heads and moved over to stand by Joan.

"Find a buddy," said Joan to the group. "Anybody in a Takahashi-Ono jumpsuit, okay? Stick by her while we're here and let me or Captain Jade know if anything untoward happens."

Captain Jade raised her gaze to watch as the group organizing itself without her intervention. She shook her head once before giving in to a slow smile began to creep over her face. Soon she popped up the toe of her right foot and began gliding backward. "I'm about to pop some tags."

Amaliya shook her head. "Maybe come see Captain Joan first."

No sooner had Amaliya uttered the words than Captain Joan joined up with Captain Jade, arm in arm. "Got that Dogecoin in my pocket."

Amaliya surveyed the knot of novices until her eyes settled on Lúcia. "Do you have any words of prayer? I think we're going to need it."

"Come on gang," Joan turned to look over her shoulder. She made a large sweeping motion with her right arm. Her left arm was still slung over Jade's shoulder. "Let's go pop some tags."

Together the group marched toward the holographic sign proclaiming, "Returns and Third-Party Marketplace."

Two hours later

"I just love a good bargain," said Jade, sitting on a bench outside the entrance of the Returns and Third-Party Marketplace, cradling a gold pocket watch in her hands. Reg, the harvester crab was perched on her left shoulder.

"I'm sorry for the way I acted earlier." Amaliya scooted closer to Jade. "I haven't seen the girls smiling this much since they arrived at the station. I shouldn't have..."

"It's okay. I... We should have voted... All of us... I guess I just got excited... Tell you what. I'll make an anonymous donation to the Heart of Borneo Worker's United unionization efforts for double whatever we spend here today," said Jade. "Promise."

Amaliya leaned in and wrapped her hands around Jade's arm. "Thank you."

Amaliya laid her head on Jade's shoulder, opposite Reg, and turned her attention to the watch Jade held in her hands. "It's not doing anything. Your watch. You think you got one with a defective battery? Isn't it supposed to light up or something?"

Reg turned his eye stalks to the face of Jade's recently acquired watch.

"It doesn't need batteries, baby. Behold." Jade began to wind the watch.

"Hm," said Amaliya.

"Admit it," said Jade, smiling. "It's a classic. And... very piratey, don't you think?"

"I suppose."

Jade smirked, reached over to wrap Amaliya in a headlock, and kissed the top of her head.

Novice Lenore was next to emerge from the Returns and Third-Party Marketplace. She was wearing a Meat is Murder T-shirt that was big enough for two of her and carrying three cardboard squares, about thirty centimeters on a side, fanned out in her hand. Each square had a picture on it.

"What'd you find?" ask Jade.

"Paintings," announced Lenore, smiling. "And a shirt." Lenore extended her arms and twirled around once.

"Hmm," said Amaliya. "Nice shirt though."

"Ignore her," said Jade. "She's sour because she refuses to buy anything from evil the shrine of capitalism."

Amaliya shot Jade a death glare.

Lenore placed her purchases on the bench and sat next to Amaliya. She wrapped her in a hug.

"It's fine. I'll live," said Amaliya. "Thanks for the hug, though."

"And what about your score?" asked Jade.

"Well," said Lenore, pulling the first square picture from the stack, "I found these miniature paintings. I'm guessing they are reproductions of the originals, since they are small, but they're still quite striking. This one is called Two Roses, by the painter Avishai Cohen."

Lenore held up the cardboard square. "A beautiful work consisting only of two simple flowers, one upside down and the other right side up, symbolizing the dichotomy ever present in nature. The yin and the yang, if you will. Id and Ego. Jung's self and shadow self."

Amaliya turned to look at the picture. Jade examined it as well. Reg leaned forward on Jade's shoulder. He turned his eye stalks to the picture and then to Jade.

"And this one, a painting by Flora Purim," said Lenore. "Look at the realism in her technique. Her subject's beauty is captured so perfectly by her understanding of light and shadows and the command of her medium."

Jade looked closely. Reg re-examined the picture as well. Jade opened her mouth to speak, but was interrupted by Lenore pulling out the third square picture.

"A simple character study by the mononymous Goldfrapp. It is entitled, Seventh Tree," said Lenore. "Though I must admit, I don't entirely understand this one. There is no tree, only a woman. I only bought it because she looks like the sexy pirate girl in the film Captain Joan shared with us last week."

"Keira Knightly?" said Amaliya. "Pirates of the Caribbean?"

"Yes," agreed Lenore.

"Um," said Jade, who was soon interrupted.

"She's gorgeous, isn't she," said Amaliya. "Keira."

Reg turned to Jade. They exchanged a glance.

"Ladies...?" said Jade, holding one of the cardboard squares in her hand. She peered at it on edge.

"Do you find her more attractive when she has dressed to impersonate a young man," asked Lenore, "or is it just me?"

"Oh, no," said Amaliya, "it's not just you. Seeing her in that long coat with a saber lashed to her side--"

"Ladies," grumbled Jade. On her shoulder, Reg pushed himself up on all eight legs.

"What?" said Amaliya and Lenore together.

"I hate to interrupt the visions of piratey sugar plums dancing in your heads, but I don't think these are pictures." Captain Jade held one by the corner and shook out a black plastic disc into her hand. "These are record albums."

Lenore and Amaliya stared. Reg jumped back.

Lenore touched her finger to the hole in the center of the record Jade held. "Captain! You have found another, smaller picture. Round, with words of inscription."