All Comments on 'Taming a Traitor Ch. 01'

Not a fan of the "daddy" nickname though. Anticipating further chapters !

Yeah don't have her call him daddy and all that, it just sounds stupid

I would love to read the rest of this. I hope she ends up being his Queen and having another heir.

You've laid the foundation for a lot of adventures.

You do need to edit your writing a good deal more carefully so the POV is consistent or at least when it changes it does so smoothly

The other: lose that "daddy" thing Awful

This was simply amazing, I dont know what everyone else is saying I like the whole daddy thing! But it is your story. :)

You have a lot of potential. That said you still have a long way to go. Your transitions are choppy. Take a little more time to develop characters and story line. Don't rush it so much. Don't be afraid to rewrite. And most of all don't quit.

I like all of the things your trying in this story. Some of them really work. Just a few things after a first pass--don't change point of view mid scene. If you want to do first person and then switch to another person's perspective that might work but going from first person straight to third doesn't read well. The other part is if this is a fantasy realm, i doubt they'd have cup sizes. Try not to be too anachronistic. Keep at it. You're brave to put this out there for us to critique.

Hey, you ain't cuddly. You b mean, killing all of them there people. And now she has to mop up the mess her father made - with her pussy! Shame on you! So when's the next chapter coming? Maybe she can take her sister's death out on the king's willy. I've always thought men who are able to kill women to be slightly...not male. Let her at him.

Evebroughtanaxthistime

I honestly cannot wait for the second one! I hope you do the next scene really well. The point of view was confusing and there were a few typos but it was still really good. I like that his revenge is for his son and now he is taking it out on his 'daughter'. Can't wait for the next one!

I'd like to read the next chapter for sure

Good job! Keep up the writing. It is good especially for a beginner . Would not have known. I'm trying to wrote myself and 8 yrs older and doesnt sound half as good. I struggle with creative writing.