by Simonx69
What's up with the brackets...were you working on your own vernacular and forgot? It's odd and unnecessary.
I see potential, but the writing is a bit rough and the chapter was too short to get a good feel for the story. I look forward to more (and longer) chapters.
I like where this feels like it could be going, but I definitely echo the sentiment that it is for too short.
To those who think the chapters are a little short, that is only the first 3 uploads as I had to get used to how this site worked. I made the rest larger.