Tank's Farewell

"Stop. I got it. Tank made a lot of money."

"Yes, and his money keeps making more money. If you want my advice, send those girls to college. Don't tell them they're rich. Technically they aren't, you are or will be. Give them an allowance and manage them towards being someone, not Paris Hilton. The credit cards are drawing on the business accounts, for now. I can list you as an employee or we can do the paperwork and make you rich."

"Who? You telling me I'm going to really be rich?" I laughed a little and so did she. "I hear you loud and clear. What about taxes?"

"I work for you and a CPA works for me. Call me anytime and I'll show you the books. Before the end of June you should get someone else to audit the books. Don't trust us. Tank didn't."

"If I take all the money and then get a divorce..."

"She's entitled to half. If you divorce her while you're an employee, it isn't your money."

"Ok. Thanks." We hung up. I sat on the side of the bed and used my cell to call the wife.

It rang five times. "Funeral over?"

"Yes. Do you have an answer for me?"

"Yes. You keep your pension. I keep the house and everything else we have."

"My truck?"

"Your truck is yours."

"Deal. Give everything of mine in the house and garage away except the photo albums from before we were married. I'll give you an address to send them to."

I saw the lawyers address on the envelope. "Get a pen and paper, I'll give you the address now. Send them to A. Keys, P.O. Box 882, Hot Springs, SD. I read the zip code to her twice. The same address for the divorce papers. Keys is a lawyer."

"So, Mr. Single Man, what are you going to do in Dip Shit South Dakota?

"I'm not sure. My pension isn't all that big, so I doubt if I'll buy a Caddy. Maybe I'll go fishin."

She laughed. "You've never been fishin!"

"You're right. Married to me thirty-some years and always right. Sometimes that made me want to scream!"

"Go ahead. I'll hang up so I don't need to listen." The line went dead. I took the battery out of the phone and put it on the nightstand. I went into the living room and the three women were all on the couch.

They looked up at me and Teri said, "Grandpa left us the house and no way to live here. Mom has a thousand dollars left and then we're broke, no jobs, nothing."

"Wrong. Tank left you me. I promised you at the funeral that I would take care of you. I need to find a place to live, and get a bank account established. I'm not going back to my wife. She's filing for divorce tomorrow, so I have no reason to go back."

Crystal asked, "Why do you need an apartment? This old house has four bedrooms. There are only four of us. You can live here."

"Maybe I should take a drive around this big town and the three of you can talk. Moving me in is a big step and..."

"And, nothing!" Ayla said. "Tank loved you. Looks to me like you're the best man we've ever known. You said you were going to take care of us. Better live here or we might go crazy."

"All of you want this?" They nodded. "Ok. Done. Which bedroom is mine?"

"Tanks." Crystal said.

"Your welcome." It was silent for a few seconds, then Ayla laughed and they all got the joke. "I need sleep. I'm going to bed. First thing in the morning we will get organized and get to living together."

I got up and went into Tank's bedroom. I had somehow gotten my primary suitcase in there already. I showered and went to bed. For quite a while I heard them talking low and moving around. I heard water running. Then it was pretty quiet. I started falling asleep, only to be interrupted by a soft knock on the door.

"Yes."

The door opened and Crystal stood there in my green T-shirt. She smiled and said, "I'd like to return your T-shirt."

"Then take it off and put it in the hamper in the bathroom."

She closed the door as she came into the bedroom. The T-shirt went up and off as she walked into the bathroom. When she came back out she said, "Now I'm cold."

"If you want to sleep with me get in the bed. If you want to play and then sleep, get in the bed. If you want me to warm you up so you can go to a different bedroom, just go."

She slid into bed with me. "We can play later. We're both tired." She said. We kissed and spooned. In the morning Ayla knocked loudly on the door and said, "Mom ran away! She didn't even sleep in her bed."

I said, "Oh my God! Ayla, come in and tell me everything!"

She opened the door and pointed at Crystal. "You didn't abandon us!"

"I wouldn't let her."

"Ok, the day begins. Ayla can you make breakfast?"

"Depends on what's in the house."

"Ok. We need an inventory. Look the house over and see what we need. Do we need toilet paper, paper towels, a mop, or what? Make a list by where we need to go to get what we need." They just sat there looking at me.

"Go! I want to go shopping and get this household functional!"

I got on the phone and got the phone switched to my name, the TV cable to my name, the utilities and the mail service. Any mail that came for Tank would still come to the house for a while.

They came back with a list. I looked it over and asked, "You three have enough pads, Tampax etc. for a month or so?" They shook their heads. I wrote it down. "Shampoo, conditioner, lotion, and all the rest of that stuff?"

Crystal said, "We have some." I wrote down "Women's stuff."

"Do we have a vacuum?" Crystal nodded. "Bags?" She jumped and ran. When she came back she said "No bags." She gave me the make and model so we could get bags. All in all we added lots to the list.

We all climbed into the cab of the truck and went shopping. At the entrance to Wal-Mart in Rapid City I said, "There is a snack bar right over there. That's where you'll find me when you're ready to check out. You have forty minutes. Don't just grab things, get the right things. One kind of shampoo, one brand of toilet paper. Get enough that we don't need to come back for a month."

"In forty minutes?"

"Yes. When you put something in the cart check it off the list. Be at the chock out in forty minutes. Ok?"

"Yes, Sir." Crystal said, and she saluted. I kissed all three of them on the cheek and they each grabbed a cart and went shopping.

Forty minutes later they were back with three carts loaded with supplies and groceries. I had a brand new credit card in my wallet. We were about to find out of it worked.

The clerk announced, "Sir, the total is nine hundred eighty one dollars and twenty-two cents." She swiped the card on the machine and when it was all bagged and boxed we had help loading it into the truck.

We had lunch in Rapid City and drove home. On the way home Teri was pretty quiet. Just before we got home she asked, "Nine hundred is a lot. You sure you can afford us?"

"I'm not rich. I'm careful. This evening we will discuss a family budget and we'll all know where we stand. Ok?"

"Sounds good to me," Crystal said.

Ayla smiled and said, "Daddy, I need a bigger allowance."

"You'll get one if you can justify it."

Crystal looked at me and said, "Sometimes you sound and think like Tank."

"Is that bad?"

"Just surprising."

The conversation we had made out a budget and headed into "What are you going to do with your life?" for the girls. Neither had finished high school. I gave them the job of finding out what they needed to do to finish. Their deadline was Tuesday evening.

I gassed Crystal's car and the girls used it to go to the high school and find out. Tuesday evening we had a family meeting and Crystal asked good questions about their future. At some point Teri said, "After I take three classes I can graduate, but so what? If I'm ever going to amount to more than a hill of beans I need to go to college."

"Graduate. I have enough to pay for college for both of you. Not Harvard or Stanford, mind you, but college."

"There aren't any colleges here." Ayla said.

"I can pay for a live away college." They both brightened up and started making plans.

When we were alone Crystal asked, "Why didn't Tank offer?"

"I think it may have been about your husband. I sense there were bad feelings."

"Dad lent him some money to start a business and he blew it all up his nose."

"That would do it."

"Aren't you worried that if you send them away to school they'll go crazy?"

"No. I believe in consequences. If they know what the consequences are for screwing up, they'll make good decisions."

"What kind of consequences?"

"I get the report cards, in the mail. If they drop below a 3.3 GPA the money stops. When they enroll I get a listing of all the classes they need to graduate. They can take any class on that list and I pay. If they get in trouble with the law, the money stops. No drunken parties, no STD's, pregnancy, AIDS or drugs. Any of that and the money stops and they cannot come home."

Wait! Let me understand. If they go away to college and somehow get pregnant, they can't come home?"

"Somehow get pregnant? Pregnancy doesn't happen somehow. It happens by them inviting a bareback rider inside them, with no foam, no IUD, no birth control pills. Pregnancy isn't an accident any more. There is only one way either of them gets pregnant: on purpose! They must know what it costs to make that choice."

"That's harsh."

"Did you ever give them one more chance?"

She nodded and said, "Sure."

"Did they take it?"

She nodded again.

"My wife gave our kids a thousand second chances. They took every one. It took Sharon five years to graduate. Nick learned to blame everything on someone else. His wife gave birth to an eight pound daughter when they had been married six months. No second chances. No excuses. I won't listen to 'The teacher doesn't like me.' Find a way to get the grade. Don't cry and tell me the condom broke. Find a way to double or triple protect yourself. Take the pill, use foam and he wears a condom. Learn karate!"

"I love my girls. I want to take care of them, even if they mess up."

"Ok. I promised to take care of all three of you. If none of you work how much money will it take to have you survive each month?"

"What do you mean survive?"

"No steaks, no champagne, enough heat in the winter to keep you alive, no air conditioning in the summer, enough gas money to keep you in town, no trips."

"I don't know."

"How much did you make in Provo?"

"Eighteen hundred a month."

"Gross or net?"

"Gross."

"Ok. I'll hire the three of you. I'll pay you two thousand a month. For that I get dinner every night, breakfast twice a week, you do my laundry and the house stays clean. No one needs to go to school, get good grades or protect themselves for STD's, pregnancy or drugs. The day I find drugs in the house I'm gone and the police can have all three of you. The day one of you has an STD or is pregnant, I'm gone and so is most of the money."

"I thought you liked us!"

"Crystal, listen to me. I like all three of you. I love all three of you. I won't let my like or my love pay for stupidity. Look what drugs did to your ex and what he did to all three of you. I promised to take care of you, and I will. The three of you need to decide at what level of care you want. Two thousand a month to be my employees and take care of me in your house or I pay for college for your daughters and you if you want to go, we eat steak once in a while and take vacations sometimes too while I live here. Maybe when your old Toyota has a few more miles on it I'll buy you a car for your birthday. You three need to decide."

Teri burst into the room and said, "We've been listening. I accept the rules. I want to go to college. I want to be someone."

Ayla was right behind her, nodding in agreement.

"Say what you need to say Ayla." I said.

"I want college. I can live by the rules. You believe we can do it or you wouldn't have said it. Momma, please accept Pete as our new Daddy."

"I accept." Crystal said. Her tone and body language said she was accepting defeat... for now.

Over the next weeks things settled into a pattern. The three went to see a doctor and got whatever they needed to be healthy and disease free. I went to a different doctor (Tank's doctor) and he gave me a good bill of health. The girls started school and I paid bonuses for good grades. Some of the young men in town discovered Teri and then discovered Ayla.

When the weather improved enough that we could start calling it Spring we drove up to Spearfish and looked over Black Hills State College. Crystal and the girls walked the campus, spoke to students and a couple teachers. They had a camera and took lots of pictures. I went to the admissions office and got all the information I needed. We ate at a nice place off campus and then drove home. It was just over a hundred miles, one way. All the way home the girls were bubbling with excitement.

At home that night I brought up a subject that had been in the background for months.

"Crystal, When the girls accepted the rules and asked you to accept, you did. Over the weeks I've noticed there is still an edge to your acceptance. You were used to life a different way, weren't you?"

"I think I had more freedom in between leaving Tank and my a-hole husband coming back to us."

"You did. You had lots of freedom. And, you can have it back. Is that what you want? Freedom, just the way you had it?"

"I can't have it! I want Teri and Ayla to get an education. I want them to be successful. If I take the freedom they lose their chance at an education."

I sat quietly, eating my dinner until I was almost done. Teri and Ayla stopped eating. They waited for me to speak.

"How much do you want for the house, Crystal?" I asked.

"Huh?"

"How much do you want for the house? Dollars. How much?"

"I don't want to sell it."

"How long will it take you to get work?"

"Why?"

"Because when I move out there will be bills to pay. You will need an income."

"You said our choice was two thousand a month or you pay for college and other things. Don't I still get the two grand?"

"That depends. I'm offering Teri and Ayla the Peterson Scholarship. They can go to school, live on campus and I pay the bills. They get an allowance. They will have enough for food and necessities. Enough to come to Hot Springs twice a month, as long as they visit me. Upon graduation in the top half of their class they can apply and most likely get the same scholarship for grad school. I promised to take care of you. For you, I'll pay the electric bill and the property taxes. The rest will be up to you."

I stood up. Teri stood and asked, "Where are you going?"

"For a drive. You three need to talk. You don't need me here for the talk. Freedom isn't free. Never has been. Tank carried a bullet in his shoulder for over forty years as a part of what freedom cost him. We spent years away from family and friends to give you freedom. You want it? Just tell me."

I walked out. In my truck was a copy of the paper. I looked and found an apartment. Two bedrooms, furnished. I called the number and spoke to the couple who owned the building. Ten minutes later I took the ten-cent tour and rented it. It would do.

When I got home the three were back at the table. I knew they were back at because the table had been cleared and the dishes done. I walked through the house and into my bedroom. I got out my suitcase and started packing. When I had enough for a few days I carried the suitcase and went to my truck.

Teri and Ayla followed me. Teri spoke, "Aren't you going to talk to us?"

"I figured when you were ready to talk to me, you would. I'm not forcing any of you to talk too soon. Take your time. You are admitted to school in September. Plenty of time to consider your options. If I stay here in the house Crystal will feel like she needs to take care of me. That was the agreement. Until the bills come due, she can take as much time as she wants to choose."

"I've already chosen." Ayla said. "If I don't go to school I'll end up hustling drinks at some saloon and fighting for my life every weekend. I want the education. The education will give me a freedom I've never had." Her hands were on her hips. I was proud of her.

"I want the education too, but I hate the idea of leaving Mom. She will find another guy who will hurt her. She won't get a very good job."

"You may be right, but she'll have her freedom. I lived with a woman who for years hated being beholden to me for anything. She could have gotten a Ph.D. in belittling, sarcasm and venom. When I final left her a few days ago I discovered that I didn't need belittling, sarcasm or venom in my life. If I live the rest of my life in a two bedroom furnished apartment, I'll live without those three companions. Crystal resents having to cook for me, do my laundry, buy my food. I won't live like that. If she was just an employee, I'd fire her. I won't fire her, I'll leave."

I got in the truck and drove away. In my mirror I could see both girls standing in the front yard until I turned the corner.

The market provided me with frozen dinners, ice cream, diet Dr. Pepper and snacks. I sat in my new apartment and watched TV until late. My truck was parked behind the building. At about midnight I shut off the light and went to bed. I realized that furnished didn't mean everything. I found one small hand towel in the bathroom. I would be going shopping the next day.

I ate at a diner for breakfast. The store visit cost me a hundred dollars and I was sure I'd forgotten something. I bought a James Patterson novel in the store and then realized I wanted and needed my computer. I drove to the house and walked in.

Crystal came out of the kitchen and watched me walk down the hallway to my bedroom. I disconnected the computer and carried the pieces out, one at a time. On my last trip of the day I said, "I'll have all my things out by day after tomorrow."

She didn't say anything.

I got cable hooked up and a new phone line. The guy at the phone company wanted to know if I wanted two phone numbers listed or should he disconnect the first one. I got him to keep both active for a month.

The diner made my dinner. Swanson, Stoffer's and Cheerios made breakfast and lunch. I got through the James Patterson book in three days. Surfing the net I discovered there were festivals all over the country for foods, music and other things.

Ayla saw my truck parked at the diner on the third evening. She came in and asked, "May I sit down?" I motioned her into the booth.

"How are you?" She asked.

"I'm Ok. The food here is not as good as Crystal's, I've already finished a novel, the apartment is too quiet and my life seems pretty empty."

"Momma is really angry. Every time she walks past your room she says "Shit!" She believes you want to take her freedom away. She won't listen to anything Teri or I say. We're on your side. She says she never thought her own daughters would turn against her."

"Have you eaten?"

"No." I motioned the waitress and said, "Bring her a good dinner." The waitress smiled and walked away. Two minutes later she put dinner in front of Ayla.

She ate like someone who hadn't eaten all day. When we were both done I said, "She stopped cooking?"

"She stopped everything. She sits on the couch and watches soaps all day."

"You still want to go to college?"

"More than ever!"

"If living at home is too hard, you're welcome to move in with me until time to start college."

"That would kill her."

"What do you think will happen when you leave for college?"

"She'll scream and cry and probably become the drama queen of North America."

"So, what's the difference, now or a month from now?"

"The difference is ... the difference is I'd have a month of less stress."

I wrote my address on a napkin. "Gather your things and show up tomorrow. I'll have a key for you."