Tara Ch. 04

"Shit..." Lindsey said with surprise in her eyes.

"I know," Kathy said with a smirk. "It was so emotionally draining that there were weekends that I never left my room and all I did was cry because I was so stressed out and no outlet for it."

"I had no idea."

"No one did," Kathy told her. "Do you remember Brian Vaughn? He was captain of the baseball team in my senior year."

"I do remember him. He was pretty hot as I recall..." Lindsey replied.

"He still is, we talk on Facebook from time to time. But when we first got together it was the middle of my junior year. He was my first and sex with him was always exciting. I loved just letting myself go and giving in to whatever Brian wanted. I didn't have to make any decisions, and I never had to give my input when it was just the two of us. I let him do whatever he wanted to, and I loved it. We'd facetime every night and I'd follow his instructions to the letter. He'd order me to masturbate for him and tell me how he wanted me to do, and I did exactly what he wanted. It was SO erotic taking orders from him." Kathy told her.

"How did that make you feel?" Lindsey asked.

"Deliriously happy. I was emotionally unbound, and it was liberating to me to be able to just let go and let someone else bear the responsibility."

"What happened? I remember the rumor was that you broke up with him." She asked Kathy.

"I did break it off with him. The sex was excellent in the beginning. Total control over me was what he and both I loved. But after a while, he started to get too aggressive and started to think he'd be able to pimp me to his buddies. I'm not a whore, so I dumped his dumbass, and went looking for someone else my senior year." Kathy told her. "Brian got it in his head that Dominant meant pimp. That's not what a Dominant is."

"A Dominant loves and cares for her submissives above all else," Lindsey said quietly.

"Exactly. Now let's look at you, ok?" Lindsey nodded her head. "You LEAD the bitch brood and I'm sure that many at school fear you or what you'll do to them. You're very attractive and if I'm honest, you have lots of boys, men, AND women that want you." Lindsey blushed hearing that. "You are QUEEN of the school. You'd be the antagonist to my protagonist. Following me so far?"

"I am..." She replied.

"You're in a leadership role, you have people that look up to and fear you, you have others that you look out for, meaning the other girls in the brood, and I'm sure that you do this while maintaining good grades and having shit stain schmucks for parents."

Lindsey looked at Kathy in shock and went on the defensive. "How do you know about that?"

"Last year, when the school couldn't get a hold of your parents, I was on the call that eventually went out to your house and your parent's places of work to talk to them. Tell me about your parents, I bet your life is somewhat like mine was." Kathy asked,

She sighed and looked at her. "My father and mother are two of the biggest assholes you'll ever meet. They both admit I was an accident and are very fond of reminding me of it. I have my own basement apartment that they banished me to when I started high school. My mother is a lawyer that deals with contracts and arbitration, she's an alcoholic. My father is a day trader who absolutely must control everything and everyone so that he can get the best possible outcome. I found a baggie with more than an ounce of coke in his briefcase last year when I was looking for my new ATM card. Neither of them cares anything about me or what's going on in my life. When they entertain guests, I'm ordered to stay in my apartment because letting any of their clients see their teenage daughter that neither of them wanted, might embarrass them." Lindsey told her. "The one good thing is that I have a new BMW every 18 months, my car insurance and all my bills are paid by them, and I get $4000 a month to spend on whatever I want."

"Seriously? They have no interaction with you at all?" Kathy asked.

"Oh, he comes to harass me once in a while about the car. He reminds me that it's his and he can take it away whenever he wants to. Mom floats in and looks around like she's planning to redecorate after I leave home. But, yeah, other than that, no, I don't"

"That proves my point to you even more... By the way, thank you for sharing that with me, I know it was difficult," Kathy told her.

"Actually, it was kind of therapeutic talking to someone about it. Thank you for listening." Lindsey replied.

"It was my genuine pleasure actually," Kathy said with a genuine smile. "So about you and your role as a Dominant, but with a submissive personality. What kind of outlets do you have for all the stress you're under?"

"I party like a high school student, tequila being my go-to drink. I don't do drugs at all, and I never will. Believe it or not, I love to rock climb and run when I'm able." She told her.

"So, you're like I was in my junior year. Stressed and not able to do much about it?" She asked Lindsey.

"Pretty much... Then Tara came along and showed me something..." Lindsey paused and stared at Kathy for a moment.

"You've obviously had an important breakthrough," Kathy told her.

"More like an 'ah ha' moment actually," Lindsey told her. "I see what you're talking about with me as a leader."

"And?" Kathy asked.

"You're completely right. I lead the bitch brood, I'm more feared than respected by my classmates, and I'm so friggin miserable that I'm half a step away from a total breakdown." Lindsey told her.

"Since you were honest with me, I'll do the same with you..." Kathy told her. "After I dumped Brian, I was almost back to where I was when I met him. I was being beaten down with 'where are you going to college', 'you have to start planning now for the future, 'why can't you be more like your older sister and have your life mapped out?'. My senior year was supposed to be my best year, and aside from doing the big sister's program... it wasn't" Kathy told her. "By November, I had decided that I was going to pack a bag and disappear into Europe and just say screw'em."

"Seriously?" Lindsey asked incredulously.

"Oh yes. I had around $7000 saved up for a plane flight and to live on until I found work." Kathy said with a smirk.

"How did you get that much saved up in so little time?" Lindsey asked.

"My parents would buy me expensive clothing, and I'd return it and keep the money. They never really looked at my closet, so it worked out fine for me. My grandparents, God rest their souls, and other family members sent me money for birthdays." Kathy told her.

"Where were you planning on going?" Lindsey asked.

"Ich spreche sehr gut Deutsch und wurde gut zu ihnen passen." Kathy told her speaking German. "España habría sido mi segunda opción por razones obvias." She said changing to Spanish.

"I'm impressed. Do you speak any other languages?" Lindsey asked.

"My French is passable, and I'm learning Russian at night."

What would your parents have said if you did leave?" She asked Kathy.

"I doubt much of anything. I haven't spoken to them since I told them that I had been hired with the sheriff's department and was going to the academy a month later." Kathy told her. "Dad just shook his head in disappointment, and mom went off the deep end about how I was so much smarter than that and that I was an embarrassment. They disowned me when I told them that I wouldn't change my plans."

"Seriously? You're an embarrassment to them for choosing to serve the people of Clark County? Who are your parents that they'd feel that way?" Lindsey asked.

"Dad and mom are both college professors. Dad is the math chair, and mom is the psych chair for Stanford. Both are members of MENSA and love to throw that fact around. So, you can see how they pushed me to succeed so that I didn't embarrass them."

"I actually can," Lindsey said picking up her wine glass. "To us... Fucked up parents and yet we turned out ok." She said as she and Kathy toasted. "So, continue with your explaining about Dominant but submissive."

"Remember I asked you about outlets?" Kathy asked. Lindsey nodded her head yes. "You have to think of this as the ultimate outlet. You don't have to think about your actions, your classes, the brood, whether you loved or hated..." Kathy paused for a moment to let that sink in. "But mostly, you don't have to think about your parents, and how shitty they've treated you. All you have to do is think about is pleasing Mistress. You trust in her to care for you and do what's best for you."

Lindsey stared in deep thought at Kathy. Her mind was running a mile a minute at what she was hearing. How could she have misjudged Tara Andrews so much?

It's not like she shows up to school playing the Dominatrix part, her little voice told her. If she did, chances are that she'd be running The Brood instead of you.

"She loves us, doesn't she?" Lindsey asked.

Kathy smiled "I can only speak for myself when I say this. Mistress loves me like I was her own child. She takes better care of me than my parents EVER could. You saw how she looked when she inspected me. She looked at me all over, then took a hard look at my shoulder to see if it was healing properly." She explained. "Mistress Tara wants nothing more than to give the best care to her pets."

"What do you mean 'the best care'?"

"When I got home from the hospital, she was waiting for me here at my house. She waited for the hospital staff to leave. She got the care instructions from the nurse that accompanied me and then set about seeing to my care until I could semi take care of myself..." Kathy explained.

"She stayed with you for how long?"

"Mistress stayed with me for 10 days. When she finally went home, she was back over here daily checking on me. She brought other pets with her to clean my house and make sure that it was up to her standards. After the first month, she'd come over every three days to check on me. It's been three and a half months now, and I'm almost back to complete sessions with our Mistress."

Lindsey had a question on her face but was hesitant to ask it.

"Just ask whatever it is you want to know about, there isn't much I won't answer," Kathy told her.

"What's involved with a typical session with our Mistress?" Lindsey asked.

"First off, every submissive is different and needs something. An example would be something like the two of us. We're in stressful positions and we need an emotional release. Another would be a very timid woman that's scared of her own shadow. A third would be just someone that loves being Dominated by a strong will. The last are women that are just pain sluts and get off on being hurt, kind of sick if you ask my opinion. I'll tell you that each session is tailored to meet the needs of THAT submissive." Kathy told her. "Mistress does love to use orgasm denial as reinforcement and as a reward. When she's been working on me for a long time, keeping myself from orgasming is a struggle. But at the end when I'm allowed to cum, it's a thousand times better than being fucked."

"Do you know what she has planned for me?"

"Mistress doesn't confide in me or let me in on her plans, and I like it that way. I'm not trying to be rude or evasive, but it's the truth." Kathy told her. She looked at Lindsey who still had an apprehensive look on her face. "What's bothering you?"

"I'm just... I'm..." She sighed deeply. I'm afraid to stick myself out there in fear that she'll change her mind and dump me. I'm already screwed up enough in the head thanks to my parents, I don't need the heartache of giving myself to her, and then she dumps me as well." Lindsey told her looking into her wine glass.

Kathy stood up, walked over to Lindsey, and put her hand on her shoulder. "Look at me, Lindsey..." She tilted her head to look at her. "Remember we just talked about trust? Well, she doesn't just expect you to start trusting her. She EARNS your trust and love. When you do fully trust Mistress Tara and she tells you that she'll do something, you can count on it. She's never gone back on her word with me and if you ask any of her other pets, I'm positive they'd say the same thing. What did she tell you that she'd do?"

"She told me that she'd never give up on me," Lindsey said with tears in her eyes.

"And she won't, ever. Even if you change Mistresses, she'd always be there for you. THAT'S the kind of woman she is. I would swear on a 6 ft tall stack of Hershey's Dark Chocolate to that..." Kathy told her.

"I'm a milk chocolate girl myself," Lindsey said with a smile. "I want to know one thing and you don't have to answer it if you don't want to."

"The only thing you can do is ask..." Kathy told her.

"Do you ever think you'll have another male Dominant?"

"You haven't played with women, have you?" Kathy asked.

"No, I had a... I guess you could call her a friend with benefits. We played around a good bit." Lindsey scoffed and smiled. "If I'm honest, she's the only one that could really make me cum as hard as I like," Lindsey said with a smirk. "She broke it off this past summer when she started getting serious with her current boyfriend."

"I'm not a lesbian, but I fully embrace bi-sexuality to the fullest," Kathy told her. "As for your question, I've had three male Dominants and they've all sucked. You know about Brian. The next one was a very educated black man who was firm, but not firm enough if you can understand."

"He wouldn't push your boundaries..." Lindsey replied.

"Exactly. He was content with the status quo and not trying to help me grow. The third one should have admitted he was submissive. I was his for a day and his streak showed up. So, to answer your question, no, I won't." Kathy told her. I met Mistress less than a week later at a bookstore and the rest is history."

"How did you know she was the one?"

"Easy. She looked me in the eye for three seconds and I had to look away, she was... IS that Dominant. She said "Hello" to me. I said looked down, said excuse me, and went to my table to drink and read. She came over, sat down next to me, and we talked for a couple of hours. When she looks at you, she has this way of looking into your soul and seeing everything. When she stood up, she said, 'Give me your address, and I expect you to be waiting for me in humble at 4 pm tomorrow'. The rest is history."

"What made Tara special to you that you took her as your Mistress?"

"Mistress Tara was not like any other Dominant I've ever met. She told me that she would be my Domme, but that I had to earn my collar. She gave me my initial training and constantly evaluated me to see how I was doing. The more she tested me, the more I pushed myself to be better. She collared me about 6 weeks after she agreed to take me on. Unless I can find someone that I love that can give me what I need, I'll stay with Tara for as long as she'll have me." Kathy told me.

"Wow... No small praise..." Lindsey admitted. "What's Mistress's darker side like?"

"Judging by the still angry-looking red marks on your ass, I'd say you've already experienced some of Mistress Tara's darker side," Kathy suggested.

"I have, but I deserved it. I broke protocol by forgetting my place and I was disciplined for it." Lindsey said with regret.

"What hurt the most?" Kathy asked.

"I thought initially it was my ass..." Both women laughed at her comment. "But after I had time to think about it, I think I hurt Mistress Tara more."

Kathy paused looking at Lindsey as she thought back four days ago and her being disciplined. "You did deserve it, but you didn't hurt Tara. She expects you to forget things. She expects you to do things counter to her instructions. What would have hurt her as if you hadn't shown remorse for doing it."

Lindsey looked up at Kathy. "She did ask me if I knew why I was being disciplined."

"She will ALWAYS tell you why you are being disciplined. That's the mark of a true Domme." Kathy told her. "What happened after she finished?"

"Mistress Tara told me to lay down with a pillow under my lower abdomen and to wait for her to return. She used a warm towel and then applied an aloe vera salve to where she struck me." Lindsey said.

"Did she explain the reasoning behind her punishment?" Kathy asked.

"She did. But she made it so that I would figure it out on my own." Lindsey replied.

"She prefers her pets to figure out what she's saying..." Kathy started.

"That way the lesson will stay with them." Lindsey finished. They both smiled.

Both women took a drink of their wine and looked out at their Mistress. Tara was laying out facing the pool with her hair draped over the back of the lounger.

"So, what else are you wanting to know about?" Kathy asked.

"How often does she visit you?" Lindsey asked.

"I'd been out of the academy for a bit less than a year when She took me as her pet. She'd spend three or four nights a week over here."

"Three or four nights a week?" Lindsey asked.

"I had A LOT of bad habits she wanted me broken of," Kathy said with a dreamy smile. "Of course, she didn't have any other pets, so she could devote all her time to training me. When she took on more submissives, she would bring them over here to train them and I would attend her." Kathy told her.

"Wait, attend her? What does that mean?" Lindsey asked.

"Attend her means to assist her. I would get her the things she needs for either discipline or aftercare. Sometimes, I assist by showing how to do a pose or... Other ways, which I won't go into, sorry." Kathy told her.

"How many other pets have you helped to train?" Lindsey asked.

Kathy smiled. "I don't know if I can count you or not, but she was braiding your hair when I dropped your red BMW off at your house the other day..."

"That was you?" Lindsey asked in surprise.

"Yep."

"How did she get you off?" Lindsey asked.

"It's called 'being rewarded'. 'Getting you off' is... so impersonal and dirty in my opinion." Kathy told her. "You're going to find that there are proper and improper terms for almost everything in this lifestyle. And it's Mistress Tara's job to teach you what they are."

"She never told me that," Lindsey told her.

"Have you asked her?" Kathy asked raising an eyebrow at her.

"No, I was busy trying to keep her from slapping..." Lindsey paused and rolled her eyes. "I mean disciplining me..."

"NEVER be afraid to ask our Mistress questions or bring concerns to her. It's her job to answer the questions and address your concerns." Kathy told her. "Taking care of a submissive is not only about physical things. Sometimes, mental care is more important than physical. If you have issues that are holding you back, it will hinder your progress."

"When you say hinder my progress, what do you mean?" She asked Kathy.

"When you have a problem that you need to deal with, but haven't, where do you think your mind would be? Would you be able to give our Mistress your full attention?" She asked Lindsey.

"No, I wouldn't. I see what you're saying now. She's there for us and is willing to listen to our problems because she WANTS to, not because she HAS to." Lindsey said with a smile.

"Exactly," Kathy said.

"I have something I want to ask, but I'm not sure how to ask..." Lindsey told Kathy. Kathy raised her eyebrow and gave her a sarcastic look. Lindsey smiled back. "Touché... How did you deal with total submission and completely letting go when you first started out?" She asked.

"How do you mean?" Kathy asked.

"You already knew you were submissive and wanted to be controlled. Me, I started down this path five days ago, and honestly, it's still sinking in. I want to move forward with this, but I'm scared, Kathy." Lindsey started to tear up some.

Kathy grabbed her hand and held it. "Pay close attention to what I'm going to tell you, it'll serve you well in the days, weeks, and months ahead." She told Lindsey.