Terrible Taste In Tees

I heard the door open, then a tiny set of arms wrapped around me. J. had called Leslie. She held me while I cried it out.

I finally stood up, easing out of her embrace. I kissed her cheek, gripped J. in a firm shake.

"Thanks, old friends. I'm glad I have you."

We got some coffee, and sat down for a war conference.

J. went into lawyer mode.

"If you're going to split up, can you give me a few days to get ready? I need to review the prenupt, and get your financials in a row. How do you want to play this?"

"Give her what she's entitled to, not a dime more. Oh, and make the house part of the settlement. I never liked it, it was her dream house, she should keep it, and the last five years of the payments."

"We could fight for more, you know. This state has adultery penalties written into the system."

I looked at J.

"I don't want it dragged out any more than necessary. I want the best Shreagle you've got. If you think the adultery will speed things along, get me some hard evidence and we'll go from there."

"Done. I'll get Don Baynes, he's rated as the second most successful divorce lawyer in the state. Alice James is the best, but she's not in our firm. Still, we'll get an appointment. Just a consultation will block Bree from using her. And we'll get Starr Investigations, they've been very successful for us in the past. With me so far?"

I nodded.

"Good. Now, the biggie. Can you carry on like you don't know she cheating on you?"

"Should be easy. She leaves tomorrow for a ten day shoot. I think I can hold on for one day. And I need to talk to the investigators. There's some things I want them to get for me, things probably not admissible in court. I don't intend to use them for that. It's more for personal use."

"I don't think that's a good idea. Don't do anything stupid to damage your case."

For the first time that afternoon I smiled.

"Relax, I'll be legally covered."

...............................................

Leslie snatched my keys as we walked out.

"Let me drive."

She turned left instead of right and I didn't notice for about ten miles.

"Where are we going?"

She smiled, the first time she had since we left J.

"Somewhere that has always brought you peace."

So we drove a hundred and ten miles to the state capitol, straight to the Art Museum, and I spent ninety minutes, right up until they closed, wandering through it, with Leslie holding my hand. I stopped at my favorites, feeling humbled by their talent. For the first time that day, I was at peace.

On the way back she asked me again if I was sure I wanted to divorce her.

"You didn't hear her, Les. To her it's just a grand adventure. Our years together, our promises to each other, our plans for the future, all of it didn't mean enough to stay faithful. I got the impression from the bit of conversation I heard she couldn't see the wrongness in her actions. So to wrap it up, yes, I'm sure."

She didn't speak again until we stopped to get her car.

"Be careful, Chris. Whatever you end up doing, I'll support you. But she's a friend too, so for all of us, make it clean as possible. Please?"

I gave her assurances, and went home to my wife.

................................................

"Where have you been? I was a little worried."

There seemed to be genuine concern on her face.

"Sorry, babe. Rough day. I had a chance to look over some new properties, we may have to expand again. Leslie thinks with real estate still down, we should buy instead of lease. Then I had to meet with J, give him preliminary paperwork. I had turned my phone off to concentrate, forgot to turn it back on."

"Poor baby. I know how to cheer you up. I leave tomorrow for my shoot, let me serve you dinner in bed, starting with dessert first."

I knew this was going to be the last time I'd ever make love to her, but I didn't try to put any extra effort into it. Damned if I was going to try competing with her lovers. I think she sensed something was wrong.

"Are you sure you're all right? You didn't seem quite here tonight. Don't tell me this hot, smoking body doesn't turn you on."

She giggled as she ran her hands sensuously over her body.

I looked her straight in the eye and told her the truth.

"You're still the most beautiful woman I've ever meet. I just have a lot on my mind. Let's just snuggle, I promise, things will be different when you get home."

I don't think she quite understood what I said, but it seemed to assure her.

I deliberately turned her alarm off, and set mine for thirty minutes before she had to leave.

I slipped out of bed and shook her awake.

"Get up, babe. You overslept. You just have time to get your shower before the cab comes. The alarm was off, did you forget to set it?"

She flew out of the bed, showered, just finished her makeup when the cab pulled up.

She kissed me frantically at the door.

"Gotta run. Love you!"

I stood and waved as the cab backed out of the drive.

"Love you too." I said it quietly, wondering if I'd ever say it to her again.

.................................................

Amber Jackson was not exactly what I was expecting in an investigator. Twenty five, a lithe redhead with old eyes. Looking for and finding the worst in people must be tiring on the soul.

"Can you do it?"

She sighed.

"Yes, we can do it. The papers you showed me should cover us. Just remember, it might still be considered illegal, you may not get to use it in court, and you CANNOT get us involved. Are you really sure this is what you want? Finding out is painful enough. In my experience, actually seeing it can be the last nail in the coffin."

"I'm sure Ms. Jackson. I've already had the funeral, read the eulogy, and I'm ready to walk away. But I don't intend to bury her, I intend to cremate her. And remember, speed is of the essence."

I wrote her a check, gave her Brees' schedule, her hotel, and shoot locations, and sent her out to do what she did best.

It took her two days to bug her phone and wire her hotel room. She observed which of the male models she seemed closest to, and for insurance wired their rooms too.

Three days after that she was back, with audio and video recordings and a written report. She kept everything in place per my instructions, in case anything interesting came up.

"Again, I urge you to just give this to your lawyer. Do not read, watch, or listen to any of this. You'd be a lot better off. I have, and sadly enough, despite what she's doing, I think she really does love you. Think about that before you make your final decision. If you want the rest, we'll have it for you the day after her shoot wraps up. Good luck either way. You're one of the ones that doesn't deserve this."

I thanked her for her time, told I wanted it all, promised her a bonus for her good work, and sent her on her way.

I went to my office/studio, locked the door, and fired up the DVD player.

.................................................

It was every bit as painful as I thought it would be.

Her first tryst was with Brandon. That figured. It was pretty normal sex between two physically fit and attractive people. No exotic positions, no weird toys. Penis size, he didn't look as big as me. The conversation was interesting, though.

They lay resting between between rounds, he idly stroking her hair while she fondled his cock.

"How's the hubby? Giving you enough at home?"

He squealed like a girl when she yanked hard on his equipment.

"Do I have to tell you again not to talk about him? Unless you want to leave now instead of spending the night, keep it up and you will. Again, he does a damn fine job. He's actually a little bigger and a LOT better, and has great staying power. Feel superior now?"

He actually whined.

"Then why do you do it?"

"For the thrill, dumbass. In the not too distant future, I'm giving all this up, and I mean ALL of it. I just want a few more fun times, so you better get busy, because time is running out."

To help him along, she gave him a slow, steamy blowjob.

...............................................

The second DVD was a little more interesting.

It was a different guy, someone I didn't recognize. He was huge, well built, and hung, at least eight or nine inches. They too fucked in a way that told me this wasn't her first time together. It also had some very interesting conversation.

"I'm going to miss this." she moaned, as she rode him.

He laughed.

"We been doing this for a year, hon. Admit it, you're addicted, we're not going to stop."

She bounced a little harder.

"Yes I am. When I stop modeling, I'll give you up, cold turkey. I'll miss you, probably wear out a vibrator reminiscing, but you'll never see me again. I may stop a little early, he seemed a little weird before I left this time. I think it might be time to pack it in."

I was thinking about this when the door opened and Abbie, a petite black girl that had just signed with the agency, walked in, shedding clothes.

"Assholes! You started without me, again."

Soon she was locking lips with Bree, pulling on her nipples, when I lost it. Bree had never once gave me any indication she was interested in girls. I had to shut it off.

I needed to work off some steam, so I walked into my studio, put the biggest canvas I had up, draped a few drop cloths behind it, and did my Pollack imitation.

Slinging paint with abandon, screaming the whole time.

"Fucking bitch!"

Splash. "Cunt!" Splash. "Lowlife whore!" Splash.

I kept it up until I was down to one quart of paint and out of expletives. I threw the can all the way across the room into the large windows I had installed for better light, watching as it slid slowly down the pane. I dropped to my knees, sobbing, at about the same speed.

I had been there for about twenty minutes when I heard a small scream. Leslie was going home for the night,saw my lights on, and stuck her head in to say goodnight. The first thing she saw was Bree in her glory, and then me on my knees.

She dropped down beside me, hugging me and ruining her outfit. I let her hold me for a few minutes before extricating myself and helping her up.

I handed her a towel and some tissues.

"Sorry, Les, I thought I locked the door."

"You did. I have a key, remember. Why the hell are you forcing yourself to watch this?"

Her eyes widened when I explained.

"Because I still loved her, and I wanted to see if I could forgive her. This is the only way I could think of. To actually see it, see how she really was. Boy, that plan backfired."

She held my head.

"Walk away, Chris. Don't let her destroy you. You're an artist, and artists have beautiful souls. Don't let this taint yours. I've never told you this before, but I've always been in awe of your talent. You can look into people and objects and see things other people would never discover. It what makes you unique."

I laughed bitterly.

"Must have had a blind spot when it came to Bree, huh? And you're right. I've got one more thing I need to do, then I'm done. Don't worry, no one will come to harm, physically anyway. Now go on home, you look a mess. I'll be all right."

She didn't want to, but I shooed her out. I had a few more words for her.

"Thanks, Les. I love you, you know? And plan on being late tomorrow. I need you at J's office first thing, work related, nothing to do with my situation."

I kissed her on the cheek and walked her to her car. Back in the office, I took the DVDs, scanned them into my computers, and got to work.

.................................................

I was almost late the next morning.

"Idiot," said J, "what possessed you to record them, knowing how it would hurt? You know we can't use those in court, they were done without permission. They need to be gotten rid of, right now."

"Relax, I don't intend to use them in court. The stuff we got without going into the rooms will be enough. BUT," I paused, grinning, "they may not be illegal. Look at this."

I handed him some papers. Written consent from Bree, Brandon, and Abbie to use their images. Release forms, pretty standard, giving me permission to use their images on my shirts. They were open ended, because I sometimes held on to photos for months until I had a good slogan to go with the image. Payment was due at the time of publication.

J was intrigued, but wary.

"This may or may not hold up, I still think we should leave them out of court proceedings."

"I don't intend to use them in court. I intend to use them on shirts."

Leslie stood open mouthed, while J broke out laughing.

"Leave it to you to see something the rest of us didn't. Go ahead, if they sue, I'll represent you."

I turned to Leslie.

"Now for the business portion of the meeting. J and I looked at the numbers. Since you came on board business has jumped thirty per cent. I'm smart enough to know I'll never be the business person you are, or that when things get a little better you'll get offers. I don't want to lose you. So, J and I came up with a plan. I'm offering you ten percent of the business to stay, two percent a year until you top out, along with suitable pay increases tied to performance. And I've heard you talk about how much you like Mustangs. There's a convertible in the parking lot, your favorite shade of blue, with all the bells and whistles. Sign the papers and it's yours as a bonus. Think about it for a few minutes."

Her mouth was hanging open. She knew the last valuation on my company was 3.3 million, with an estimation it could reach five in three years, mainly due to her efforts.

J laughed and handed her a pen. Her hands shook so bad she could barely sign. Then the tears started, followed by hugs.

"Assholes! I love you guys."

I was happy, for the first time in over a week.

I slapped her butt.

"You need to get that cute ass of yours to work, make us richer. I still have things to go over with J. I'll see you later. Here's the keys to your new car. I'm sure you'll take the scenic route on the way to the office. Go!"

We stood at the window and watched as she walked to her new car. She leaned against it, crying, I'm sure, then looked up and waved. She hopped in and peeled out of the parking lot. J laughed, saying he was glad he didn't have to buy her tires.

Then we got down to the ugliness. He laid out the papers.

"Here it is, cut and dried. She can't touch your business, and you've been smart enough to keep most of your money in the company coffers. Your house is worth roughly four fifty, and the payoff is just shy of ninety. The savings, the investments, probably fifty fifty minus half the value of the house. You may get a more favorable split with the right judge, if they factor in the adultery, but my best advice is not push it, you'll make points trying to be fair. I don't look to pay alimony, depending on her earnings. I know they are covered in the prenupt, but earning potential post divorce will play into things. If she doesn't fight, you'll be a free man in four to six months from filing."

It sounded as fair as possible to me.

"What if she fights it?"

He grinned.

"Then things get interesting. She can fight over money. She can fight over reconciliation, try to force counseling. It might be a bumpy ride. You up for it?"

"No. but do I have a choice?"

"None at all. The papers are prepared, when do you want them served?"

"She gets home Thursday. I don't plan on being there. Do it Friday, at the agency. And I have a letter to Sherry here. None of this is her fault, she tried to get her to stop. I just want her to know I bear no ill will, and I'll still use her. Plus, I don't want her to fire Bree, she needs to be working during the divorce. That will be considered a favor to me. Think she'll go along?"

He read the letter.

"More than likely. After all, Bree is one of her best, and it all comes down to money."

I went back to my studio, to work on my revenge.

...............................................

It took two days to cut and blend the images into the shape I wanted. My equipment was the best and most advanced money could buy. The end product was amazing.

The first was Bree and Brandon, tangled against each other, breasts, penis, and butt artfully covered by arms, legs, and position, but still showing enough to make it interesting. There was no doubt what had just happened. Brandon had a sheen of sweat on his body, and Bree had that post orgasmic smile I had always loved.

I put a light sepia glow overlay on them, it looked great on a black tee.

The other was of Bree and Abbie, kneeling, as they kissed with passion. You couldn't tell from the picture that they were both astride a guy, with a tongue buried in Abbie and a cock in Bree. I got a shot where they were caressing each others boobs, covering the nipples, just. I had a muted background, a little lighter behind Abbie, a little darker behind Bree. I showed the finished product to J and Les.

Les had her mouth open, while J agreed it was one of the most erotic things he had ever seen, followed by an apology over the model. I just waved my hand.

"Think she'll fight when she sees this?"

"I don't know. Maybe she'll sue. Maybe they'll all sue. Either way, it'll damn sure get their attention. Here we go."

He was almost rubbing his hands together.

.................................................

I went home, and draped both tee shirts across our bed, and left her a short note with my ring.

"I know. You'll get the papers soon. Please don't fight it."

I had already removed my clothes and all I wanted to keep. I didn't take a single picture. Laying the keys on the hall table, I pulled the door shut on my old life.

.................................................

I went to Tahiti. It was a place I had always wanted to visit ever since I discovered Gauguin.

Parts of it was as beautiful as his paintings, others were like slums and third world countries everywhere. I sketched, drank, looked at the women, but didn't touch. Found a nude beach, hung out, ogled women from all over the world. Drunk, I almost hooked up with a tall Russian, until it hit me she was almost a clone of Bree. Went home after two weeks.

I had taken a condo as far away from my old house as I could and still stay in the same town. It was small, but I liked it better than wandering around that big empty house, aching for the sound of small voices.

My first call was to J. I had told him I was leaving the country, but wouldn't tell him where.

"Hi, J. What's happening."

"A lot. You wouldn't believe. If you don't want Bree to find you, don't go to work or over here. She had people watching, waiting for you to surface. She didn't take it well. Cried. Screamed. Got a lawyer. Tried to get Anne, boy was she pissed when she found out she couldn't represent her. Got a pretty good guy, not as good as Don, but still pretty sharp. And Sherry wants to talk to you. Brandon wants a piece of your ass too. Did you know he was married? Did you really give a thousand tee shirts away at the flea markets? His wife was not a happy camper when she saw one. He's trying to convince her it was just a shoot, but I don't think she's buying. She wants to talk to you as soon as possible. Damn if you aren't right popular."

He finally ran out of breath.

"It's nice to be loved."

He started laughing.

"I wouldn't exactly call it love. And before I forget, Jay Gold called. He says it's extremely important you call him. I haven't seen him since college. Last I heard, he was a failed writer. What's that all about?"

"Long story. Think you can get away for dinner?"

"Sure, but I think they're following me too."

Doesn't matter. I'm back. I'm calling her just as soon as I call Sherry, Jay, and Les. How's she doing?"