Thank God for Irish Women Ch. 01

"She seems to have had a tough life."

"Yes, she has, especially from the time her mother died. Nancy and I were very relieved when she moved in with Patrick. Her stepdad had become a despicable person. That was disgusting to me since I introduced him to Emily's mom."

"She said her mom died in an auto accident. What do you know about that?"

"Her mother worked for the Consulate General of Ireland in San Francisco. She was attending a diplomatic function at a resort up in the hills one evening. It had been raining, and she lost control of her car on the way home. She ran off the road into a deep ravine and wasn't found until an hour or two later."

"That's terrible."

"Yeah, it shocked all of us."

"Pat, I need your advice on something. Emily asked earlier today about riding along with me to San Francisco. I start a new job out there June 1st and will be leaving here on the 14th. I'm concerned since we'd be together for several weeks. We hardly know each other. What if something happens between us? I'm afraid that anything I say or do will hurt her even more. What should I do? She needs help and support."

"Matt, I can tell from your concern and what you've done that you have her interests at heart. She's a strong person because she's had to be. If anything happens between the two of you, it will be because she wants it to happen. I know her well enough to say that she is always in control with relationships. She's exactly like her mother was, so don't be too concerned about that. What do you think about her?"

"I think she's a beautiful and intelligent young woman, obviously tough, but now very worried. She's just lost the love of her life and is emotionally vulnerable. That scares me, and I don't want to put her in a situation that might cause more pain. You know the old saying 'any port in a storm.' I'm evidently the port she's chosen."

"Don't over analyze it, Matt. Take it a day at a time and see what happens. I know she needs stability in her life, and she probably sees you as able to give that, at least for the next few weeks."

"We engineers tend to over analyze everything. Thanks for your advice. I'll ask her to call you tonight."

"Good. Talk to you later."

I watched the news until my stomach began growling. I made spaghetti using leftover meatballs. The aroma from the spices probably found its way under Emily's door as it didn't take long for her to come.

"That smells good. I often fixed spaghetti for Patrick."

"I eat lots of pasta; it's easy and quick. Glad you like it. I also have a few pieces of garlic bread in the oven."

"Yum."

I plated our food. For the first time with Emily, I asked whether we could say grace. That surprised her. After I asked the blessing, we dug in. She was as hungry as I was. While we ate, I told her that Pat had called.

"He said Patrick's body was released this afternoon and is at the crematorium now. The cremation will not be until tomorrow afternoon. He wants to know whether you'd like to see him tomorrow morning."

She looked down and raised her hand to her mouth, obviously distressed. After a moment, she replied, "I'm very torn. I want to remember him as the happy person he was and for all the great times we had. But, I also want to say goodbye to him. What am I to do?" Tears were welling, and she reached for a napkin.

"I had this very discussion with my mom one time. My favorite cousin was killed in a tractor accident on their farm. What she pointed out was that closure is very important in a relationship like we had. She convinced me go to his funeral and view his remains one last time. I did, and I think that helped me deal with his death. I knew for a fact that he had passed on and that I could let him go. It was very hard, and I cried like a baby but I'm glad I did it."

She thought for a moment before deciding. "I think your mother was right. Will you go with me?"

"If you want."

After dinner, Emily went to her room, closed the door, and called the hotel. She returned in a few minutes.

"I talked to Nancy, and we'll meet there at 11:00. I hope that's okay."

"It is."

We watched a movie on Netflix until 10:00 and then called it a night. As I said goodnight to her she asked, "Have you decided if I can ride along with you to the coast?"

"I'd love to have your company. You said you could help me drive?" She broke into a broad smile.

"Oh yes. I'm a great driver. Thank you, Matt." Our eyes connected a little longer than usual and I later thought she wanted to kiss me. Maybe it was only my wishful thinking.

Little did I know this decision was my "fork in the road" of life.

Friday, May 7, 2010

Although up at my normal hour, I was still very tired. Emily had loud and emotional dreams that often woke me. With coffee in hand, I turned on the news.

The only mention of the crime was an interview of a police spokesperson. He announced that the handgun recovered from the car had been used in three other unsolved homicide cases in the Atlanta area and that the police were very relieved to have these two guys off the street. Unfortunately, there were five drug related murders in the city overnight. All the victims were from Mexico including one teenage girl. Thirty kilos of marijuana were found in their homes.

There was no mention of Patrick. I guessed he was yesterday's news.

I planned to have turkey sausage and eggs with hash browns and toast for breakfast. I'd always enjoyed cooking; and living alone the last six years gave me ample opportunity to refine my skills. Very few of my girlfriends enjoyed cooking.

When Emily's door opened, I looked up. She was in an oversized t-shirt; her legs and feet were bare. I suppose I had a quizzical look because she asked, "What?"

"Oh, nothing."

She stared at me. "Is this too skimpy for you?"

"No, it's fine." She looked very sexy.

"Matt, I have only a few things I can sleep in. Do I need to get dressed before coming out? Remember, we're supposed to be like brother and sister, right?"

"My brain hasn't quite adjusted to that, I suppose." I glanced at her. It'd been months since I was last with a woman. Her legs were perfect.

She returned to the bedroom, put on jeans and a blouse and came back to the kitchen.

"Hungry?" I asked.

"Famished."

We sat at the table to eat and talk about the day. I could see she was growing tense about seeing Patrick's remains.

"When I saw Mom's body, I fainted. It took me a long time to get over the shock. Sure, I knew she was dead, but seeing her body killed me. Now, here we go again."

"Emily, this is tough to do. But, you must remember he's in a better place. His soul has departed and left this sad world behind."

"If you're telling me that God's real and Patrick is in Heaven, I don't want to hear it." She slammed her hand on the table and clenched her teeth with anger I'd rarely seen. Her eyes terrified me.

"There is no God. If there was, why would He take away everyone I loved? I have no one left who loves me. Matt, if He's real, He took them all - every last one. I didn't do anything to deserve that. No just and loving God would do that." She began bawling and ran to her room and slammed the door.

I sat stunned.

****

At 10:15, her shower came on. I took a quick one and dressed in the only suit I had. When she emerged, Emily was wearing a very attractive sundress and had put on makeup. She was very pretty and seemed calm and determined. No words were spoken on the way to the viewing.

When we arrived at the crematorium, we were taken to a room where his body had been prepared and placed in a normal looking coffin. Pat and Nancy were already there.

Emily walked with me to his casket and immediately broke down. I had never seen someone so distraught. She stood there, between Pat and Nancy, and stared at his face as the tears flowed. His parents held her hands and put their other hands on her back to support her. I stood behind her, quietly weeping for her pain.

Evidently, a makeup artist had worked to conceal the head wound and autopsy marks. His body was dressed in a very nice blue long-sleeve shirt and dark pants. But, like all bodies prepared for viewing, there was a peaceful but ashen look on his face.

As she stared at him, she began pleading, "Why did you leave me Patrick? Why didn't you run and give them the car? Why didn't you take me with you? I should have died with you. What am I going to do Patrick?"

Pat and Nancy were also crying as they supported her. This continued for many long minutes before Nancy whispered something to Emily that I didn't hear. There was relative calm following that and they turned to walk out as I followed. When we neared the doorway, Emily quickly turned and ran back to the coffin to kiss him one last time. Wailing filled the room. Nancy joined her and, after a few minutes, they walked out together... totally distraught in each others' arms.

Outside the viewing room, Pat asked if they could have a few private minutes with Emily. I walked into the office waiting area while they met in a side room.

Some 20 minutes later, they returned to the vestibule area with Pat carrying a bag. We walked together to my car, and he placed it in the back seat. We exchanged hugs and promised to stay in touch as plans were made for the memorial service.

On the way home, Emily seemed to collapse from fatigue. She laid her head against the door window and closed her eyes. She wasn't crying. When we arrived at the apartment, I carried the bag, and noticed it contained an Apple computer, a couple of iPods and several other items. She walked directly to her bedroom with the bag and closed the door.

****

Late afternoon, Emily came out and plopped down on the sofa next to me. She still wore that beautiful sundress.

"Thanks for being there with me today. I'm glad I went, but it was hard. Pat and Nancy wanted to tell me some things privately, but I want you to know what they said. They insisted I take Patrick's computer and a couple of iPods he had in the luggage. They also gave me his class ring. They had a life insurance policy that they bought when he was a child. They want me to receive the proceeds which will be about $75,000. They also had a large college fund for him, and they're going to transfer that to me. I'll be able to go back to college."

"That was generous of Pat and Nancy."

"Yes, but don't you see, Matt? All that is blood money. Patrick had to die for that. I'd pay back that ten times over just to have him here." She laid her head in my lap and wept. I laid my hand on her shoulder. What could I say or do?

The rest of the evening was miserable. She didn't want to talk. I later heard her sobbing in the bedroom as she tried to sleep.

The End of Chapter One