All Comments on 'Thank You for Saving Me Pt. 01'

Well having read some of your other stories and enjoyed them, when i saw you had submitted a new 'multi-parter'! I settled down with a drink to read..... BOY oh BOY!! Just one thing came to mind by the end of the first page..... 'Don't give up your day job'!!

This not my type of story... too much explicit sex and I would not touch any of those women... It is not that I am a snob, but I prefer fresh snow... thanks.

Interesting but not my cup of tea. More than a little over the top. Enjoy most of your stories however.

Don't worry about what King Bandor says, I enjoy you writing. Can't wait for the next part, just make sure you writ the next part!

Jneric

It IS a bit over the top but I found it intriguing. Just make the next chapters longer

"'-BREAK the window somehow, get that belt off her neck! It could kill her!-' shouted the 911 operator."

Bullshit...9-1-1 operators do not yell. It may be literary license, but you don't have people doing things they don't normally do when it is something of this nature.

Volunteer firefighter and now a first responder and you're clueless? You messed up some very basic life-saving procedures. Pathetic. You must have spent most of the duty time polishing the brass.

You also have a punctuation problem with the beginning of a continued statement. While you correctly leave off the closing Mark, it's is still obligatory to open the next paragraph, even if it is an uninterrupted statement.

"Boy.

"It's hot in here."

A rollicking good fucking story.

Not authentic. Do some research, please. A lot off-duty firefighters/EMTs keep what I call a 'geek bag' (fanny pack) of basic essentials handy in their vehicle in case they come upon an emergency. Especially in rural areas. A very simple and cheap tool firefighters/EMT's use to break a tempered class is a self center punch. (Beware thieves use them too) Put the tip to the glass and push, and you're in without a lot of loud noise.I used poultry shears to cut seat belts.

I was a volunteer firefighter and nationally registered EMT for 8 years, before the department went full time paid staff. I held multiple certifications. A good way to gain knowledge is to volunteer at a rural fire department and start at the bottom. They will gladly train you and you will end up with a lot of great friends. My favorite experience, I delivered a baby girl on a busy four lane highway. She grew up to be a cutie and I get a hug every time I see her. Her mom whaps my arm and blushes. Then hugs me. :)

Even in erotic fantasies there must be some reality.

Mike appears to be mentally challenged.

Then he is introduced to this family that just escaped from a fantasy in Literotica’s mind control section where they were all hit with a slut ray or drugged. The husband was borrowed from a Fetish story after time in a gay story.

I don’t understand why Mike is single. I guess he has to live in a cabin away from society to be safe from all women in town that would immediately strip and rape him on sight

Thanks for sharing. Just need to provide a story to go with the idea. If you had just wanted to write a wanker then the first page could have been condensed to about 6 lines, or just left out.

I volunteered to help Dave by proofreading his story. He sent me this in a much rougher state than you see here. I was trying to help. I provided corrections and feedback on the beginning, but it was just far too much to deal with. Things were not clear, nothing made sense and I was literally having to rewrite every single sentence. So, after several days, I gave up and apologized for not being able to finish and I did tell him it was "a mess". I never, ever suggested he stop writing.

KB

Greyheaded1 says, "Mike appears to be mentally challenged." I more got the feeling that it was the author who's not entirely a hundred percent. It kind of reads like high school writing - and not a senior year, either.

I will say I look forward to seeing if this gets better, in the beginning I was curious as to how often he described each woman as having nice boobs or that they were pretty. I wanted to know what Mike looked like and his age but only heard about the women.

"Well that escalated quickly"

To see how mom & the sisters take it when they find out she went ahead of them.

and how does he handle the Married Couple. could make the husband the Fluffer and Cleaner. Have him in Panties and a Teddy when home.

Sorry for pestering. Just wondering.

Next part please!!!

I would like to find out how subservient the mother and daughters and the teenager are and where it leads to for one thing . do they ask him to take over them ? it would be fun to find out .

"Well that escalated quickly"

I about did a spit take at that...lol

This story really cracked me up, there is no way in hell that it would happen that all these women would want to jump his bones and fall all over him like he was a sex god or something. I agree with one of the other comments, must be some kid in high school that wrote this crap, please stop and don't write anymore.

Keep this story going please

Where is the rest?.

Chapter 2 please. AAAAA+++++

Great story. It really deserves follow-up chapters. As part of that I hope you can setup his ex and their kids to dad crow.

You need to finish this story before you write any more stories. You got everybody hooked and then just quit.

Great start to what should be a monumental storytelling event. I pray you do it the justice that your creation deserves.

3 years, I get the feeling. It's finished.

Is there a part 2?

Had to stop reading after

"I'm not sure with this ice. Maybe a half hour to an hour. I want to get her there safe. She's very beautiful." 😒

Isn't there something missing?

"End of part 1"????