Thankful

"I can't tell you, Kelly. Not unless you marry me. No, I literally can not tell you. I will just say that I will have a steady job doing something I think is important and that will pay really well. It's already lined up for when I finish my doctorate in May."

"Okay. Can you at least tell me where this mysterious job would be?"

"Ironically enough, right here in Fort Worth."

"Well, there you go," Kelly said. "Why can't we be boyfriend and girlfriend for a while, go on dates, have sex, get to know each other better and see if that works before we go looking at weddings?"

I didn't know what to say. In my worldview, sex was the final test. If we were going to waste time and money going to movies and out to eat, we should have done it before we had sex. After all, wasn't all that folderol and getting to know each other to determine if you wanted to have sex with the person?

Kelly just didn't want to hurt my feelings by admitting she didn't think we were so compatible after all now that we'd done it.

I listlessly slid off the bed and began pulling my clothes back on. Kelly caught my arm, stopping me.

"It's not a no, Nick. I never said no. I just think we should spend some more time together first, okay?"

"I understand."

"Do you? I like you, Nick. No, I love you, I think. I'm almost sure. And I never imagined I could feel as good as you made me feel today. But, please. Just let me think about it for awhile before I say yes. I don't want either of us to look back and regret a hasty decision of our youth. Like my parents. Like your parents."

That brought me up short. While I didn't think I was my father, and I doubted Kelly was her mother, once a long time ago they had probably felt the way we did. Or thought they did.

"I won't change my mind, Kelly," I said. "So, it's on you to decide if you want me or not."

"Nick, please. Don't be mad."

"I'm not," I looked into her face for the first time since she'd pulled away from my offer. "I'm hurt. But, I'm not mad."

"But, I don't want you to be hurt, either," Kelly said softly. "Please, Nick. Just be with me and love me for awhile and let me say yes in my own time."

"As you wish, Princess."

I didn't grin at the joke. Neither did Kelly. It just wasn't funny in that painful moment.

Kelly pulled her clothes on and packed away the suitcase of toys we'd knocked off the bed. I still wasn't sure why she'd shown them to me since we hadn't used any of them. She finally shut off that damn porno flick, thank God, and the screen and projector drew up into the ceiling. It wasn't until after she straightened and smoothed the comforter that she unbolted the door to her room.

We both stood there for a long moment just looking at each other.

"I don't know where we are going," I finally said.

"Do you still love me, Nick?" Kelly asked in a small voice.

"Of course. I wouldn't have asked you to marry me if I didn't."

"Then everything is all right between us?"

I sighed and held out my hand to her. Kelly looked at it for a long moment before reaching out to take it in hers.

"It will be until you say no," I said.

"Thank you for today, Nick. You were wonderful."

"No, Kelly. Thank you for sharing yourself, your beauty, with me."

With nothing left to say, and many things unsaid, we left her room and went in search of Olivia and Tina.

Maybe we should have talked a little longer or taken a bit more time making love to each other. Some things once seen can't be forgotten, no matter how hard we try.

When we found them, Olivia and Tina were as naked as the day they were born and had their legs entwined in some sort of scissor lock as they ground their crotches against each other.

Ugh! No! Just, no!

In all fairness, I didn't have a problem with lesbian sex. In fact, that was my pornography second choice when I was alone; two beautiful women granting and taking their pleasure from each other. Right behind a beautiful woman alone, pleasuring herself.

And, objectively, Tina was pretty easy on the eyes with her flaming hair, her gold-bronze skin, and her falsely inflated breasts. Virtually any hetero male, or lesbo woman, would have agreed she was worth more than just a glance.

But, Olivia? Olivia with her tiny tits that looked like two fried eggs sunny side up, her bright orange hair, and shoulders Dorian Yates would have envied? Even not considering she was my cousin, Ick! Eww! And other exclamations of disgust.

I saw a whole hell of a lot more than I ever wanted to see, standing frozen in place and staring through the windows separating us, before I started backing out of the room, drawing Kelly with me.

Kelly, I'm not sure, but I think she might have stood there and watched them through to the end.

"Well, that's a relief," Kelly said once we'd retreated to the kitchen area.

"Huh?"

"Ollie getting together with Tina," Kelly supplied. "It's a relief."

"It is? Wait. You mean you knew Ollie was a lesbian?"

"Well, of course," Kelly rolled her eyes. "I think just about everybody but Ollie has known for years."

"Uncle Billy and Aunt Regina?"

"Well, no. Maybe not them. Although, I wouldn't be surprised if Laurell and Michelle did. They're smarter than they let on."

"Uh, so why is that a relief?" I asked. "Her and Tina, I mean."

"Because I fully expected her to finally make her move this weekend," Kelly shrugged. "Now, I won't have to hurt her feelings by turning her down."

"Wait! You mean you would've? With Ollie?!"

"I was thinking about it," Kelly shrugged. "No boys were ever interested in me. And Ollie was always a good friend. And I was tired of being, like, the only person alone."

"And now?" I asked, faintly.

"No," Kelly shook her head. "There will be no one else for me. Not unless I eventually tell you no. Or you lose interest."

I wasn't quite sure how I felt about that.

In all honesty, Kelly giving in to Tina, like she had seemed to be about to back at Uncle Billy and Aunt Regina's, had a certain something. But, Olivia? Frankly, that mental image made me faintly queasy.

"Well, I guess if you are still wanting Ollie, that would leave Tina unoccupied," I said lightly, trying to fight the surge of my gorge.

"I don't think so, buster," Kelly pulled me close. "Not unless or until I say no or you withdraw the question."

"Kelly? Are you jealous?" I teased.

"Maybe," Kelly colored up beautifully.

"Then maybe you should say yes now and take me off the market."

I was only half joking, but Kelly studied my face and decided to accept the humorous half of the statement.

"You are off the market since you asked me," Kelly shot back. "If you thought otherwise, you were sadly mistaken. If you want to be back on the market, you need to withdraw the question."

"Mmm. Let me think," I made a show of peering around the corner, although I was careful to shut my eyes just in case. I opened them again as I turned my head back to Kelly and let her see me looking her up and down. "Nah, I'll let the question stand. For a while."

For an answer, Kelly bent down to give me a tender kiss.

"I really am thinking about it, Nick," she said softly. "And I am leaning towards yes. But, I just need to take a beat and really think it through."

"Take as long as you want," I said. "I don't leave until sometime tomorrow morning."

"Beast," Kelly lightly slapped my shoulder.

"But, I thought you wanted me to be a beast," I grinned. "Something about pounding your cunt, as I recall."

To my surprise, Kelly turned bright scarlet and looked away.

"I, uh, I should explain something," Kelly muttered. "What I did, the things I said... Well, I am really like that. But, only in there with the door shut and bolted. Out here, it just feels... wrong. If that makes sense."

"Ah. Heinlein's drawing room duchess and bedroom bawd. I get it. I'll remember."

"Thank you," Kelly said softly.

"Well, here y'all are. It's about time y'all came out of the safe room."

Kelly's eyes widened, looking over my shoulder.

"She's naked isn't she?" I asked rhetorically.

Kelly nodded.

"Hi, Tina. Why don't you and Ollie put some clothes on? It's probably past time we were heading back."

"I've got clothes on, Space Chimp. And we would have gone back a half hour ago except you two were locked in and wouldn't answer the door."

I turned to find Olivia fully dressed, glaring at me. Tina, however, was still standing there wearing nothing but a smile. I groaned and turned back to face Kelly who was grinning at me.

"Well, we're out now," I said, my back firmly to Tina's blatant sensuality. "Get your girlfriend to put some clothes on and we can go."

A hard hand on my shoulder spun me around.

"What did you say, Monkey Boy?" Olivia snarled from inches away.

"I said, have your girlfriend put some clothes on, Ollie. You are girlfriends, right? I'm sorry. I just assumed after what we saw you doing together out in the pool area you were."

"You saw?" Olivia asked, looking scared for perhaps the first time in her life.

"Um, yeah. You weren't exactly hiding."

"You'd better not say a fucking word," Olivia yelled as she lifted me off the floor.

"Oh, give me a break, Ollie," I snapped. "I've never been frightened of you and I'm not going to start now. Learn a new trick because this one is getting old."

"You can't tell anybody, Nick," Olivia pleaded as she set my feet back on the floor. "It would kill Daddy. And Mom wouldn't take it so great either."

"I'm not going to tell anybody," I said gently. "It's not my secret to tell. You're probably right about your dad, but I think your mom would surprise you. But, like I say, it's your secret to decide who you want to share it with and when. I won't say anything."

"Thank you, Nick."

"Hey, you're my cousin. There's a limit to how much shit I'm going to give you."

Olivia stood as tears tracked down her cheeks and I knew she was thinking about all the shit she'd shoveled my way over the years. Which was fine with me.

"I don't know I'd say we're girlfriends," Tina chimed in, not to be ignored. "More like friends that shared something special."

"That sounds familiar," I cast a glance at Kelly who had the grace to blush.

"I still like the dick, Rick." Tina went on, swaying just a little closer to me. "I like it a lot."

"Oh, yeah," I said, looking back to meet Olivia's eyes. "That reminds me. I've asked Kelly to marry me. She hasn't said yes, but she hasn't said no either. Until she either says no or I withdraw the question, we're exclusive. Understand?"

Olivia's eyes flickered to Kelly and back to me before dropping to the floor as she nodded.

"Good," I said. "Now, tell your fuck buddy to cover up the goodies and take us home."

Tina must not have liked being ignored by me, a male. Something made her cool off at any rate and drive us back to the hacienda in icy silence. Thank God for small favors. If I'd had to listen to her sing once more, I might have jumped off the mix master as we went over.

By the time we pulled up in front of the house, Tina's sunny disposition was firmly back in place. Which should have run up the warning flag.

The conquering heroes had returned, wiped out but happy in their conquests. They did, however, want to know where we'd been and why we'd left.

There didn't seem to be much point in trying to hide where we'd been as the security guard had marked our entry and exit. As for why we'd gone, none of us were about to admit that out loud. Fortunately, all of us still had damp hair, so it was easily passed off that Kelly had taken us to use her pool.

"But, you didn't bring a swimsuit," Mom said suspiciously.

"Why would I have?" I shot back. "It's November and I didn't know Kelly would be here, much less that she had a pool. But, she said it would be all right if I used my shorts. And I didn't figure you would mind if I went somewhere with your future daughter-in-law."

"What?!" Uncle Billy's bellow echoed over the chorus from all corners of the room.

"Oops," I grinned up at Kelly.

"Oh, you are so going to pay for that," Kelly said with a twinkle in her eye. "Nick did ask me to marry him, but I didn't say yes or no. Instead, we're going to try just being boyfriend and girlfriend while I make up my mind. Which will be a little bit easier once he moves to Fort Worth in the spring."

"What?!" This time Mom and Pris were tied for the loudest shout in the room.

"Oops," Kelly grinned down at me wickedly.

"Well played," I sighed. "All right. Yes, I'd been offered a job here, in Fort Worth, once I graduate in May. I didn't say anything because I wasn't sure I was going to take this one until this weekend when I met Kelly."

"What?!" Kelly shouted. "You didn't say that! You said you had a job lined up here!"

"And I do," I shrugged. "I've also got about a dozen other offers other places around the country. I hadn't made up my mind until I met you. But, now that I have, I want to be close to you and this is where you are."

"But, Nick, this is exactly what I didn't want you to do," Kelly wailed. "What about the job you want? What about the salary you like more?"

"This one is only a couple of hundred less than California," I shrugged again. "I'll hardly be eating beans and cornbread. And I'll pretty much be doing what I am now wherever I go. So, that doesn't matter."

"A couple of..." Uncle Billy gaped at me from his recliner. "Just how much are they going to pay you, boy?"

"Enough I can pay my student loans in my first year and still make sure Pris doesn't have to take any," I said. "Unless, of course, she decides to go Ivy League or overseas, which would strain my budget just a little."

None of his girls had even considered college, so I'm not sure exactly what made Uncle Billy rock back in his chair and whistle. But, at least it made the desired impression.

I should have paid better attention to some of the other faces in the room. One spectacular redhead in particular.

Eventually, the babble died down and the conversation shifted, each according to the couch it was occurring on. The cheer couch was full of their exploits in the shopping world. Mom and Aunt Regina were quietly discussing my revelations with several glances my way, which I ignored. Uncle Billy was chattering away to Tina, who'd been forced to take the other recliner, and who was doing a good job pretending rapt fascination. Olivia was quiet, but I could see her staring at Tina every time I looked that way. Which I did often as she was on the other side of the woman I loved.

"I think I'm going to take a shower," Kelly whispered to me. "I can feel where your stuff leaked out of me drying on my inner thigh and it's starting to itch."

"My 'stuff'?" I mouthed at her, grinning.

Kelly flushed scarlet and swatted my shoulder before getting up and wandering back into the house.

She couldn't have been gone three minutes before Tina moved over to sit between Olivia and I and engaged Olivia in conversation. Her hip was just a little too close to mine for my comfort. They weren't that wide, so why did she have to sit so close?

Perhaps I didn't really need a drink right then, but it made a good excuse to get up and away from Tina.

Or might have if she hadn't followed me, entering the kitchen while I was still on my second glass.

"So, you're moving to Fort Worth, then?"

I somehow kept from spitting my water on the wall behind the kitchen sink.

"That's nice," Tina continued as she got her own glass from the cupboard. "I guess I'll be seeing a lot more of you, Rick."

"I wouldn't count on that, 'Gina'. After all, I'll be pretty busy with work and my fiancée."

Tina's eyes narrowed as she paused her undulating towards me.

"My name is Tina, Rick. Not Gina."

"Hi, Tina. My name is Nicholas. Nick to my friends."

"Oh," Tina said. "I'm sorry, Nick. I have some hearing loss. I thought they said your name was Rick."

I winced and felt like seven kinds of an asshole for the uncharitable things I thought about her singing.

"I'm sorry," I said. "I didn't know."

"No reason you would," Tina shrugged. "I don't exactly go around telling everybody when I first meet them. People tend to look at you differently if they know you are less than perfect. You know what I mean?"

"Um, yeah," I said. "Yeah, I know what you mean."

"I thought you might, Rick. I mean, Nick," Tina said as she raked one lacquered nail down my forearm.

My body responded to Tina's sultry tones and her very nearness. Damn it! Why couldn't she have acted this way in July?

I watched, at a loss for words as Tina filled her glass with water and lifted it to her lips, her eyes on mine. I'd never known watching someone take a drink of water could be such an erotic experience.

"I should," I coughed and lowered my voice an octave and tried again. "I guess I should probably get back."

"All right, Nick. I look forward to getting to know you better when you move here. Much better. Oops."

I have no idea why I glanced back. I should have known better considering Tina, of all people, was holding a glass of water, of all things, and wearing a white shirt with no bra, of course. Sure enough, she had "oopsed" right on her right nipple.

My face heated up as I scurried up the hall to find Kelly finished with her shower. Only, instead of sitting in "her spot", she had moved over to lean across the arm of the fold out to talk to Mom and Aunt Regina.

I should have considered the recliner, but wanted to be near Kelly and chose to sit between her and Olivia.

Olivia promptly frogged my right thigh.

"Ow," I said. "What the hell, Ollie?"

Olivia widened her eyes at me and compressed her lips.

"What?" I asked.

Tina came back from the kitchen and stood next to Olivia. Both of them looked at me as I looked from one to the other.

"If you don't mind, I was talking with Tina before she went to get a drink," Olivia whispered. "And I'd sort of like to continue that conversation."

"Oh, uh..."

I wanted to sit next to Kelly, but I didn't really want Tina wedging in between Olivia and I. Even I could smell the disaster inherent in that.

I got up and went over to the recliner. Olivia looked pleased. Tina didn't. Neither did Kelly.

Uncle Billy was on sports. If it had been "news", I might have at least had something to say. Instead, I listened to him and made non-committal noises when he paused for breath. Almost every time I glanced over at "my" couch, either Kelly or Tina or both would be looking back.

After a few more minutes, perhaps a half hour, Kelly wrapped up what she was saying and stood to come over to where I was sitting. Despite being a foot and a half taller and tipping the scales over twice my weight, she sat in my lap.

Uncle Billy found that hysterical. I couldn't see, but from the laughter, it sounded like everybody, or most everybody, else in the room found it amusing as well.

"I'm sorry," Kelly said. "Am I too big for your lap? Should I get up?"

"Don't you dare," I wheezed, wrapping my arms around her and making her join the laughter.

"You goof," Kelly said. "Let me up."

"Don't want to."

"I'm not going far."

"Promise?"

"I'll sit at your feet," Kelly said. "Now, let me up before I crush you."

When I moved my arms, Kelly shifted to the floor between my feet. Without really thinking what I was doing, I started running my fingers through her rich dark mane. Still slightly damp from her shower, there were a few kinks and tangles in her hair I used my fingers to comb out as she and Uncle Billy talked.

Tina who?

Tina, and all the other occupants of the room, much less the outside world, faded away into background noise.

"Nick! You're going to make her bald!"

"Huh?" I glanced over at Pris to find she, and everyone else, was grinning at me. Everyone else, save Tina.