All Comments on 'Thanksgiving Loss'

Just be careful to vary your sentence openers a little more. Many start with "I", including the first four in a row.

"He was about eight inches long and his cock was as thick as my wrist. I did my best to ignore my gag reflex."

I gave up at that - she wouldn't just gag, she'd suffocate and choke! - so I've no idea how good/bad the rest was.

Let's have some realism, please.

Stan

Amazingly lame. A curvy, sexy 18 year old virgin and a 19 year old sexy boy with a horses cock...c'mon, a little inventivness, please.

Blech.

I thought it was good story. Good luck on your future writing.

but maybe if you didn't have such long paragraphs. Gave me a headache reading them. Keep trying though, you have the talent...

This account is an actual account of the day that I lost my virginity.

Now as a virgin never ever seeing a cock before, ok it surprised me and perhaps it wasn't that 8 inches long probably just 6 or 7 and it was as wide as my wrist but I am a small boned female and don't have that wide of a wrist to begin with.

But I wrote this story 7 years ago, so I just touched it up and didn't see that part till it was brought to my attention.

Nyways,

Thanks for your input as always.

Txdelictablegrl

it was a nice story i enjoyed it but the paras were to long and yah u can brush up on the sentence openers to many I's

Seems like you got played by a player. If it were me, I'd be somewhat pissed at him.

This was a very good story. Too bad some people don't send their own so we could compare. Well done and keep writing.

Thanks for sharing the story of your first time.