All Comments on 'That One Night...'

by Awesomeness123

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  • 12 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago

I would really like to see a sequel to this

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
Proof read

Good first try. Your grammar needs work and you need to proofread your work several times before submission. Do you have “Spell Check”? If so, use it. I would also suggest you use one of the editors. They can be a great help in preventing embarrassing errors.

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago

so did any thing else develop, pretty hot story

William smythWilliam smythover 10 years ago
A good start

You might profit from the services of an editor but the basics of this story is just fine and deserving of a sequel.

I give it a 5.

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
mate if that's ur first can't wait for the secoind

I've been putting of writing one for ages, but if its even good as ur attempt was, I'd be avery happy guy

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago

Great start... I'd like to see you go farther next time and add some more details. Honestly you should continue the story. I'd love to know more about the relationship they had till now. Does friends for ages mean from childhood? How old are they? I think it was hot. Has Alex dated alot or is it possible he's liked Jason for a while? Sometimes when someone jokes about something alot, there is something behind it and he did make the 'first move.' I agree an editor would help. It seemed like the end had a bunch of mistakes, moreso than the beginning...maybe you were just excited to complete it? I'd like to see more of their story. They seem like they are secure enough to possibly start something. Great first try!

cannd

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
I love gay men

619-616-7937

If anyone ever wants to chat ;)

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
Good short story

It s good when friends help each other out. More would like to but are reluctant to take a chance. It can really help both out

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
wonderfully written

Seriously dude u must write more. ..... loved it!!!!

arrowglassarrowglassover 10 years ago
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS...........

You are really good at capturing the essence of what it can feel like when one man shares himself with another. Hope we are going to see more writing on these two!

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 8 years ago
Friends

What a great way to seal a friendship. I really enjoyed your story. Thankd

LeeclarkLeeclarkover 6 years ago
Beautiful

This is beautifully written and needs more.

Anonymous
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