The 3 'C's' of life Ch. 03

By the time I returned to the living room she had stopped shivering, but, was still sitting in front of the fire. Still wrapped in the blanket.

"Here you go. Careful it's hot."

She looked up at me, for the first time. I think both my heart and breathing stopped, simultaneously.

"Bev?"

Her eyes wide, as she took in who was standing before her.

"Bill?"

My brain did a quick 'flashback' to my high school graduation party in 1968. It was the last time I saw her. (If you're interested, see my previous story 'Graduation Summer Chapter 1 page 2, to read the brief encounter that night. If not, I'll just repeat a little here).

Bev was beautifully HOT and was featured in many of my high school 'self-pleasuring' sessions. She was petite about 5 foot 4 inch, 95 pounds, shoulder length straight brown hair, tiny waist, flawless lightly tanned skin, tight little bottom, and beautiful small apple-sized 32A or small B breasts.

I remembered that Bev had done some ballet in her early years in high school. Hence her, always, petite/lithe body. I also remembered that she had always flirted with me when we were alone. She knew I had a major crush on her. I could have/should have asked her out in those last years of high school; but, was too shy and kind of felt she was out of my league. She was very popular and always hung out with the 'cool' crowd. I was not a 'Social Butterfly'. At the time, I was too dense to pick up on her flirting to realize that she would have gone out with me in a heartbeat, if I had asked.

That night, at the graduation party, she pulled me behind an unknown pickup truck, turned, locked her arms around my neck, pressed her whole body into me as our lips met and locked, for the first time. I remember thinking, 'Man that girl could kiss!!'

I remember telling her that I had dreamt what would have been like to have dated her. To this day, I'll never forget her next five words.

"It would've been like this," as she moved in for another, and final, round.

I was still in a daze. I didn't notice that she had stood, and came over to me, until I felt her wrap her arms around my neck and press her firm petite body into mine. Even through my cotton flannel shirt, I could feel those wonderfully firm little breasts against my chest. My arms instinctively embraced her as she pressed her face into my soft cotton shirt.

"I can't believe it. Of all the places in the world, to get stuck on a cold and blizzardly night, I get stuck in your driveway, show up at your door shivering... freezing, and find myself warming in front of your fireplace."

Stepping back a bit, so that I could look at her. I lost myself in her soft smoky-gray eyes. The same beautiful face that I remembered so well, from years ago. She hadn't changed. Those soft pink lips that I had briefly kissed that night. The flawless completion that I remembered, so well in high school. Her cheeks a flushed pink, both from the earlier cold and now from the warmth of the fire.

"Bev, what were you doing out, on a night like this?"

"I was on my way to see my girlfriend. The main highway was blocked, I think there was some kind of accident. I tried to find a way around it on the county roads. I thought I knew where I was going. I got lost in all of the blowing snow. And when I tried to turn around, I got stuck in your driveway. I tried to rock the car out, but I think the snow from the snowplow had piled up so much under the car, I couldn't get out. I just sat there and cried. I didn't know what to do. Where to go. Then the wind died for a moment, and I saw your yard light, and thought, 'If only I could make to the house. Maybe I can get some help. Otherwise, all I could think of, was waiting for a snowplow to come by to, maybe, pull me out, or something."

"But, didn't you know that it was going to get really bad out?"

"Yeah, I heard that last night, and earlier today. But, it wasn't too bad when I started and I thought I could beat the worst part. I kind of wanted to be with my girlfriend during the storm, instead of just sitting at my apartment by myself. I guess I messed up."

"But how did you know that some kind of axe murder or serial rapist didn't live here?" I grinned.

She casually shrugged her shoulders and grinned back, "I guess, I figured it was better than freezing to death."

"Bill, I hate to ask; but, my suitcase is in the trunk with all of my stuff. Would it be possible for you to go out and get it for me? I know that's miserable out there. I'll even go with."

"No. You stay here. Keep warm. I'll go. It'll be fine. Call your girlfriend to let her know that you're OK. You can stay here until they get the roads clear. I'll get you dug out when the weather breaks. I've got enough stuff to eat and everything. So, we'll be fine. Hopefully, the power will stay on. If you're hungry, there are frozen pizzas in the freezer. Help yourself. I ate earlier."

I got my hooded parka, insulated snow boots, insulated gloves, and ski mask on. I was ready to brave the brutal elements.

Her car was really stuck. By now, the snowplow had made another pass, and there was snow piled up behind the car, about a foot and a half deep. Luckily, she had pulled in far enough that it wouldn't get clipped by the snowplow. It was a bit of a chore trudging through the piled-up snow, fumbling with the key to get the trunk unlocked. Careful not to drop the key. In the deep snow and the dark, that would have been a disaster. Ever try using a thin key with heavy insulated gloves on? I finally got it open.

By the time I got back, Bev was on the phone with her girlfriend in the other room. I tried not to eavesdrop; but...

"He's a friend that I knew in high school, so I'll be fine... Yeah, I was lucky.... I don't know what time I'll get out of here tomorrow, or the next. We have to dig out my car. I'll let you know.... Yeah, who knows what will happen.... Maybe. I got to go. Talk to you later... bye."

I had just finished getting out of my snow stuff when Bev appeared.

"Thank you. I didn't want my makeup to freeze and to have something to wear. I really... really appreciate it. Was it bad out there? Was it too hard to get?"

"Not really. It's good you pulled in as far as you did. Out of the way of the snowplow. It's going to take some shoveling in front to get to where you can drive up here. Then, I'll clear a path to the road. And for the record Bev, you don't need makeup. You've never needed makeup."

My comment was sincere, and came from my heart.

She blushed. It was cute as she quietly said, "Thank you. It's been a long time since somebody has said something like that to me."

That puzzled me. I was curious as to what would make her say something like that. If she wanted to talk about it, fine. If not, I wasn't going to push.

"Why don't you go and get comfortable? There's some stuff in the cabinet for your knees. I'll keep an eye on the pizza. Want a beer?"

"I could use a beer... or two... or three," she grinned.

My brain working... reflecting, as I took a long sip.

'OK. You love gods. I hope this isn't some kind of cruel joke for your amusement. Pulling the rug out from under me over a year ago. Smashing my heart into a million pieces. Now; bringing a girl that I admired, and longed for, years ago, back into my life.

'On the other hand, maybe I should thank you. I guess it was good that I saw Terri, for what she was really like, before it was too late. The circumstances of me being here. In this house. The storm. Not accepting Jeannie's inviting invitation. Bev appearing at my door, in need of help. My roommate out. Is this your way of helping me heal? To move on? Finally. If it is. I will always be in your debt.'

Just then the oven timer went off. Even though I had eaten earlier, my stomach growled, at the aroma of the pepperoni, onion, and mushroom pizza.

Bev appeared, dressed in sweats and a loose sweatshirt, so I couldn't tell it there was a bra there, or not. It didn't matter. She could wear a burlap bag, and still be beautiful and sexy, in my eyes.

We sat at the table, as she devoured over half of the pizza. I had a couple of slices, as we filled each other in on the past five years of our lives.

Bev had gone over to the University of Iowa and majored in Education. She was currently teaching third grade in an elementary school a couple of towns over. She had been there since the beginning of the school year, so really only about five months. A couple of towns over, put her about 30 minutes away from where I was living.

She said she didn't want to go to any of the Illinois universities. She knew that a lot of our classmates would be attending the various universities around the state. It was main reason she wanted to go somewhere away from everyone. Not that she had any problems with anybody, just wanted to be away, for something new. She knew I was going to Southern, which was considered to be a good 'teaching' school; but, it was way too far away.

The town was small, maybe a bit smaller than the one we grew up in. It was the major reason of why she wanted to teach, and live, there. She said it was nice and friendly. Everybody seemed to know everybody, be that 'good' or 'bad'. The town had four schools: grammar school, with kindergarten through third grade, elementary school, with fourth through sixth grade, a junior high, with just seventh and eighth grade, and then a senior high. There was talk about building a new school and combining the grammar and elementary grades, but, taxpayers didn't see the need, and it never got off the ground.

She got along well with her students. Got to know the parents. Would run into them, casually, outside of school, in the local grocery store or whatever.

Weekends, she would hang out with some fellow teachers, from both the elementary school and the middle school. Sometimes drive over to see the girlfriend that she was on her way to see earlier. Had a few dates. Nothing serious. She wasn't looking for anything serious. It was her first year of teaching, and she didn't want any distractions.

She did have a close 'guy friend', her last year in school. That went on for a couple of months. She thought, she had 'found the one'.

Bev, even confided in me that she had lost her virginity with him. The fact, that she was so comfortable, and open, with me, warmed my heart. I was being drawn into her, the more she talked. And I think that it was mutual, as I could feel her level of comfort, as she sat across the table from me.

Then one night, when she was out with some of her classmates and saw him with a 'big-boobed' platinum blonde that was hanging all over him. When she saw that he wasn't resisting, that was that, especially after, he kissed her. She swore off guys for the rest of the school year, and just concentrated on her final classes.

I remembered that our whole senior year, she had been going out with a friend of mine, Gordon, who I also worked with at a local grocery store. You could tell that they had a 'thing' for each other.

"So, what happened with you and Gordon?"

Taking a sigh, "We tried to do a 'long distant' thing the first year. It made it till Christmas break. We both knew it wouldn't make it three and a half more years. He wasn't into the whole college thing. He wanted to get his pilot's license and fly corporate jets, plus, we both wanted to see and meet new people. It was a friendly split. Nobody got hurt. I don't know where he is, or what he's doing. And I'm fine with that."

Then it was my turn.

We had moved into the living area, on the couch, in front of the warm fireplace. I had stacked the record player with my favorite albums. Yes. The Moody Blues. All five albums.

Bev casually rested her head on my shoulder. I had my arm around her, my hand cupping her shoulder through her soft sweatshirt. She snuggled in closer as she casually rested her hand on my thigh. We listened to the howling wind and were on our third beer; loosening up. Our comfort level with each other growing.

I went through the first three years of my college life. The few dates. Nothing special. Just had fun. Then briefly went into the 'Terri' thing. She listened, without saying anything. I tried to keep it from getting to dramatic. I think she instinctively knew the pain I went through, and still harbored, a bit, in my heart.

"Bill. You'll find someone that deserves you. I truly believe that there's somebody out there for each of us. Sometimes that special person has been there all along and you never knew it. Sometimes it just takes time and patience. Sometimes, it will sneak up on you, and it will be there, and you won't even know it. And, yes, sometimes, luck and circumstances. Not that I'm an expert on the subject, or anything," her voice soft and caring.

"Have you ever been in love? I'm sorry. Maybe, that's none of my business." I asked.

"No. It's fine. I'm comfortable, sitting here and talking to you like this, for the first time. Don't know why, it just is. It feels good," I felt her give my thigh a gentle squeeze. I returned the affection, by pulling her a bit into me. I couldn't see it, but, I thought I could 'hear' a gentle relaxing smile.

"Anyway, I can't say that I ever really have. Me and Gordon, not really. It was high school hormones. We each knew it. So, when we parted it wasn't a big deal.

"That one thing in college... yeah, maybe. I mean, I did have sex with him, and it wasn't just a quick one-time thing. So, I guess, if you hurt when it's over, then I guess I can say that I was, kind of. I don't know if you would call it 'in love'; but, still it hurt. Not a 'heart breaking' kind of hurt. Just a hurt. I can't explain it."

There was silence for a few moments. Me, just enjoying the moment of holding her. Bev, gathering her thoughts on something that had been buried for a long time.

"Bill, can I ask you something, if you don't mind? And you don't have to answer, if you don't want to," her voice soft and unsure.

"Sure, Bev. What would you like to ask? You can ask me anything you want. It's been a long time since I've felt this kind of closeness."

I could see her smile, as she, again, gently squeezed my thigh. Taking a long gulp of her beer. I think to gather up a bit of courage at what was on her mind.

"Bill, why didn't you ask me out in high school? I mean that last year, I practically threw myself at you. I even had my best friend tell her brother that you should ask me out. That one dance. I don't remember what kind of dance it was; but, it was something I really wanted to go to, with you. Instead, I remember hearing that you went with a local girl that went to the Catholic high school the next town over."

I did remember that.

"Bev. I wanted to. I had insecurity issues. Even now, I'm terrible at 'reading' girls."

"I think it's a universal 'guy' thing. Sometimes, us girls like to be mysterious. To keep guys thinking. To make them chase us, for a bit, before letting ourselves get 'caught'. Maybe, you were thinking too much. Maybe you should have just jumped in. Gone with your gut. What's the worst thing that could have happened?"

"Embarrass myself. Feel like an idiot for thinking that you would want to go out with me. I mean, you were so popular. So sure of yourself. I could see your personality. Everybody liked you. I just felt you were out of my league. Why would you consider going out with me. I mean, you were so beautiful. So sexy."

"Wait. You thought that I was sexy? I mean, even with my little boobs and all."

"Yes, Bev. And your boobs... your breasts are not little. They had a beautiful and sexy shape, from what I remember."

Once again, I could 'hear' the smile as she snuggled in closer. Taking a long drink from my beer, I tried to remember what I was talking about a few moments ago, before I got distracted.

"So, where was I?"

"You were telling me how beautiful you thought I was, and how sexy my breasts were... from what you remembered."

Another 'heard' smile, as I smiled to myself and gave her shoulder another squeeze, as she snuggled in closer. On a subconscious level, we were unknowingly being drawn into each other. Like magnets, where the attraction is weak, from a distance, but getting stronger, as they moved closer.

"Actually, I did get up the courage to call you one afternoon, after I got home from school. I was alone, nobody else had gotten home yet. I think your dad answered the phone and said you weren't home from school yet. I didn't leave a message."

"You actually did that? You could have asked me in school."

"Bev. It was hard enough to make that call. At the time, I couldn't image asking you face-to-face."

"Bill, sometimes... sometimes, you just have to take risks. Especially, when you see something that you want."

Pausing for a moment.

"I remember reading something about that, I don't remember where, and I wish I could take credit for it; but, it goes something like this.

"There are '3 C's of life': Choice, Chance, and Change. You have to make the Choice, to take the Chance, if you want anything to Change.

"It sounds like you had already made the Choice. All you needed to do was to take the Chance. It would have been OK. It would have worked."

It was quiet. The only sounds were the ever-present wind and the soft sounds from the record player, as we each sat and contemplated everything that had just been shared between us. Of the things, that could have been. I think that deep down, I was saddened by my, then, lack of confidence. My mind drifting to 'what could have been'.

It getting close to midnight. Bev yawned.

"Sorry. I don't know where that came from."

"Don't worry about it. You've had a hard day. You want to get some sleep? I don't know about tomorrow. You may be stuck here for another day. We'll have to see what happens."

"Bill, it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world," I gave her a gentle squeeze, as she looked up at me and smiled.

Just then, I wanted to kiss her; but, didn't. Once again, I had made the Choice. I was just afraid to again, take the Chance.

"I want you to be warm and comfortable. You can take my bed. I'll sleep here on the couch."

"No, Bill. I'm not going to ask you to give up your bed for me. You've done so much for me already. I'll be warm. I'll sleep in my sweats and warm socks. I'll be fine."

"You sure? I don't mind."

"Yeah. I'm sure. And I truly believe that you would let me sleep in your bed, and you here on the couch. You're going to make some lucky girl very happy, some day."

I gave her another gentle squeeze that lasted longer than the one moments ago. That last sentence didn't affect me like it had when Jeannie first said it. Maybe, as they say, 'Time heals all wounds'.

I pulled as many blankets as I could find, and piled them on the couch.

I threw a couple of logs on the dwindling fire. Standing in front of the fire, as it came back to life, I rested my arms on her shoulders and looked into those soft smoky-gray eyes.

"Goodnight Bev. Sleep well."

"Goodnight Bill. And thanks again. Thanks for everything. And I do mean everything."

I got a light kiss on my cheek, followed by a soft and gentle smile.

......................................

I don't know what time it was. The wind was still going strong. The house was old and drafty. The beer was making its way through my body. My bladder ached.

Crawling back into the warm bed, I sighed a relaxing sigh, the electric blanket was doing its job. Then, I suddenly heard a quiet.

"Bill?"

"Bev. Are you OK?"

"Bill. I'm cold. I've been awake for a while. I think I woke up once the fire went out. I haven't been able to get back to sleep. Can I get in bed with you?"