The Addams Family

Kat started, "I found this place when I returned from an out-of-town seminar. I had a flat and waited here for roadside assistance. They took so long to arrive that I had a calzone with Mama's dipping sauce. I've been addicted ever since. You guys have to tell me what you think, alright?" We agreed, and Mama brought out our pizza as if on cue.

It turned out to be one of the best pizzas I ever ate, and I ordered a Meat-lovers and a Bar-B-Q chicken with Mama's sauce for when we left. I was still a young adult, and my body could still function on a 'cold pizza and soda' breakfast, so I was planning ahead... Right? When we could, Kat paid for our tab and looked at the pizza boxes. "I'm paying for those," I told her.

She just smiled and said, "Good! They'll help keep the calzones I got for your Mom and me warm until we get home," they both headed for the car.

Mama smiled, "I made one for you too, so no worry. You need to be gentle with her, honey. After the accident, she lost her way. It's your love bringing her back. You fuck this up, and I'll hunt your fucking ass down and settle things, understand?" Then suddenly, she was the woman I first met, "You guys make a sweet couple," then she did that thing they do, kissing her fingertips and saying 'muah' or something. Mom returned to hold the door so I wouldn't drop the food. Mama handed my card to me and whispered, "Google's your friend!" then waved goodbye to my Mom as I grabbed the food and headed out to the car.

"She seems like a nice lady, doesn't she?" my Mom asked.

My reply was, "Yeah, Mom... nice."

I put the food away when we got home as they were meeting tomorrow. After the ladies said goodnight, I walked Mom home. We talked about memories, both old and new alike. Then my Mom confessed, "At first, I was worried about you and Kat if it was love or just a widow's lust for a young man. But when she snatched up that guy who came up behind Chiyia, John, she just kicked his balls, and as he bowed down, she kneed his face and threw him down the hall when we forced our way inside. She was the first one through the door, you know. I knew then she loved you and would never leave your side."

We arrived at the front door, and Mom joked about renting out a room or two so it wasn't so quiet. I shot back by asking if that was a hint for grandkids already. She held her hands up, shaking her head. I had to laugh. But then she brought me up short, "Did you remember to tell Kat about your apprenticeship offer next week?" Hell no, I hadn't! After everything that's happened, plus getting married. I had forgotten it myself... FUCK!

My mind was swirling in a storm, and then everything started crashing into my heart and feelings for my wife and Mother. There was no telling where this company's offer would take me, but I knew it would probably be away from my new life with my wife. I looked at the empty carriage house, and the pain in my head started disappearing. I forgot to think why because my mind was only up to 'Tell Kat, AFTER marriage, about apprenticeship.'

I walked into the house, trying to forget everything for now. I grabbed a beer and started looking for my wife, only to find her in the bedroom waiting for me. She was standing beside a set of chests of drawers and a nightstand on my side of the bed. Their style and finish matched the rest of the room. I smiled and slowly walked over to my wife, "Thank you, my love," as I kissed her lips, "I love it!"

"You're not done yet," she whispered, "open the top drawer of your nightstand, Baby." I grabbed the handle and tugged at it, but the drawer didn't open. What did was a small refrigerator filled with cold Sprite and water. Kat came up behind me and wrapped her arms around me, kissing my neck. "Now I don't have to let you up when we get thirsty, honey...You're going to need your liquids a lot pretty soon."

"I don't know what to say. How did you get it done so quickly?" To say that I liked it would be putting it mildly.

"My brother figured out a way to make it all up by using forms and assembling it all on-site. All you have to do is choose the finish you want. He does this to help support his family... He's got six kids!" She could see the fear in my eyes, "I don't want six. I said 'He' had six. Now, me, I'd be happy with four." Her face was beaming. (I felt a headache approaching).

I woke Kat up, eating her sweet pussy. She just smiled sweetly, rolled herself over so she could suck my cock. Once we were done, I told her I was going to my Mom's house and would send her back. I walked up to my Mom's door, and it opened up. "You're late." Mom smiled.

"I left you both brunch and a small something for later," I replied.

Then she made a show of coming close and made a sniffing sound, "You're not to see her before the wedding, you know,"

I hugged and kissed her cheek, "Not to worry, Mom. I kept my eyes closed." She let out a big sigh and started over.

I placed my laptop on the kitchen table, connected to Mom's Wi-Fi, and started to see how friendly Google wanted to be. After three hours, I found out the vehicle the family was traveling in, going to their cabin for vacation, lost control and rolled down a steep ravine, coming to rest balanced on the edge of a cliff. Rescuers took hours to retrieve the bodies and the car, only to find the youngest daughter alive under all the bodies and debris, though still receiving a lot of damage to her body.

Then, after she makes her way through that, Her Grandfather, the only family she remembers growing up, was killed when the battery that ran the forklift he was standing by overheated and exploded. Kat has lost everyone who had meant anything to her! Everything was dated six years ago, then nothing... Until now, that is.

I was done with my shower and shave and had some time before my ride to the hall showed up. I grabbed a soda and the last three pieces of the chicken bar-b-q pizza, then turned the T.V. on. Just after eating, my phone let me know I had a message.

"Now that you're finished, are you ready to go? I'm out front," Youri.

I put my dishes in the sink and threw the soda can in the recycling bin. Then I opened the front door and saw the limo parked at the curb. I just looked at Youri.

"I said I would pick you up, never said I would drive you." He laughed. "Besides, I have already started drinking... Perhaps you should, too?" He handed me a glass and a joint as the limo pulled away from the curb. "I'm not supposed to give you any hints, but I will give you one anyway... The community banded together and stole your marriage."

Call me Mr. Confused because that was the look on my face. I had no idea what the ladies had planned in the first place, so WTH, you know? After three drinks and a good joint, the limo pulled to a stop, and then, my door opened.

I got out of the limo and stood up. Youri was right beside me. There was a lot of clapping and cheering. We were introduced to everyone here twice, I believe. I said hello to our friends and family in attendance and then took a step back to look at everything. They had cleaned up the 'Garden of Statues', making it look beautiful with all the lights and lanterns strung everywhere. They had even made a dancing area; another area was for family and eating with picnic tables.

Youri and I were pulled into one group, then another, almost before we found out what they were discussing. Before long, Youri grabbed my arm and pulled me away. We found the drinking area, and Youri quickly ordered four sake shots. "Japan at its best!" then his eyebrows went up, looking at something behind me. Then, he yelled, "Six, and make it quick!" The bartender nodded and brought over two glasses. He set them up before us, filled them, and stood with the bottle. The first was for love, the second for spirit, and the third for happiness.

Then Dache appeared at my side, as did the rest of the heads of the six families. Dache bought one more round for the eight of us. Then, he told me I had somewhere I needed to be. Just as he began pulling me along, I grabbed Youri's shirt and pulled him close, "I-I'm so gonna p-p-pay you back a-at yours," I breathed in his ear. he whispered, "No, you won't. I'm gay!"

Dache almost carried me away when I yelled at him, "Not fair!"

The seven of us left walked over to an area enclosed in drapery, almost like they were walls. The five heads of families bowed and walked away. Dache said this is the part of Father and son, but seeing as how his son had passed, and my Father left long ago. He didn't think the Great Spirit would mind too much. He motioned me inside to follow the path he said. It made a left turn, a right turn, and then another left, like an 'S' laying on its back, that opened up to a large enclosed area. There was a large table with a festive garment laying on it, as well as a pair of sandals.

"Drink this and strip to your boxers," Dache said, handing me a small bottle. I fought with the devil, trying to keep it down til he gave me a Sprite to chase it down with. "We need to get you dressed. Seems your bride is as eager as Chiyia was at ours," He snickered. "Your life insurance paid up, my son?"

He kept talking and joking, trying to keep me calm and focused while helping me get into the robes. Whatever he gave me to drink was doing the job; the world stopped spinning, and now it was down to a ship at sea. My head was still banging a drum, so I walked over to my clothes and pulled out my vape. "You have one minute of freedom left, so if you wanted to run... Now would be the time... I see an opening between the bar and food areas right now."

I looked at him, "Does everyone get this kind of shit at this point, Dache?" I asked.

"No, my Father gave me a lot more, but the difference is... I like you!" He grinned, "You know, our car is right there. I could tell them I forgot to get something and must get it. I'll back up to about right there or so. You could dive into the trunk I'll have open and pull it down. I could smuggle you out..." Suddenly, there was a loud crashing of drums and cymbals, "too late, you need to be quicker!" He smiled, "Follow that way out. Someone will be there for you and follow him wherever he goes."

I walked on to find that Youri's Father was waiting for me. He pulled the hood up on my robe and said, "Keep your head slightly bent, but keep an eye on my feet and follow me." He turned, and off we went. I paced him across the grass and then paving stones, only to top in an area of fine stone smoothed out. He turned and lifted the hood.

After letting my eyes adjust, I was in front of the altar with the heads of the families three feet to my left. I turned around and suddenly knew what being at a concert was like, only you were on stage. Flashes and a few digital camera lights erupted across my vision. Then, another round of drums and cymbals, and there she was! My Mom came out first, then the six wives came out. Then finally, there my Kat stood, made to look like a formal Chinese bride complete with the strings of ribbons and pearls woven into her hair, not too much of the make-up, and wearing robes that matched mine.

One good thing about the robes we were wearing is that they hide your erection so no one can notice, and GOD knows I was putting that to the test! There were a bunch of 'OOoo's and AAaa's' mixed in as there were enough flashes to make a rooster think the sun was up! Now, I turned into a statue as all I could do was stare at the figure of ultimate beauty slowly making her way to me. Even though we were already married, I felt as nervous as a teen asking his heartthrob to the prom.

When she made her way to my side, I saw tears of happiness running down her cheeks. Her smile matched mine as we stared into each other's eyes. Everyone was tuned out, leaving just us. I can't say how long I stood holding her hand in mine, and I thought I felt something tap my left arm. There it was again. I started to lean in for a kiss, and when the tapping became a smack, I looked at the priest. He wagged his finger at me and smiled, "We are not to that part yet, my son."

It took an hour and a half for every song to be sung and every prayer to be offered to the spirits before I got my kiss. I made it last, and Kat melted into me more the longer it lasted. But, sooner or later, someone runs out of air, and it has to end. I was alright with that as I had a lifetime to make love to those lips and the rest of her!

We were the first coming back up the aisle, then Mom, and after her, followed the six couples. Once our feet hit the paving stones, fireworks welcomed the new couple. Kat was swept away by all the ladies introducing themselves and doing what women do right after a wedding. I got the same treatment from the men. They were slapping me on the back, congratulating me on becoming a man.

Then came all the 'free advice,' like, "You know a sure-fire way to know your wife is cheating on you? Her cooking improves!" or my favorite, "You want to make sure your wife is always making the right choices? Never miss your P.I. payment!

But the one I fell in love with and spit out part of my drink was from Bill, a co-worker, "You know how Sam Kennisen got his start? He would crash weddings and then run down the aisle shooting the bride, and just before he'd crash through a stained-glass window making his escape, he would scream... 'You'll thank me later!'

Yeah, I have a few friends like him. Once, he had to attend his great-great-sister's cousin on his Mother's side or the like funeral. I was there to pick him up and drive him. He came out and his Mom right after. "I can say anything I want?" he said, and his Mother replied, "I told them never to contact me again, and they just keep right on, so yeah!"

We arrived just as the line was forming to pass by the casket, and He whispered in my ear to stay by his side no matter what for the next twenty minutes. He watched until a dirty blonde lady got in line and cut off this guy who reminded me of Harry Potter. All I could do was give him that 'Sorry' look as I looked down at Bill's hand on my wrist. 'Harry' nodded his head like he understood and relaxed.

Bill's mannerisms changed as the lady in front of us took her turn to say farewell. He started acting like a drag queen... "Well, Damn, will you look at that! Do you have a comb, sweety? His hair never looked like that when he came to see Mum and me. I'd get the latest toy, and he'd 'play cards' with Mum for an hour. I complained to him until he showed me how the toys worked, and I stopped complaining! Why, Auntie Deborah, I know you have quite a few toys in your 'box,' but then we all know now, don't we, honey?"

The next thing I know, I'm being hauled down the hallway towards the escape door, sorry, exit door. I made it to my car alive, started it up, and got us out of there. He's an unfiltered kind of guy, verbally and mentally, But if you were his friend, he'd take a bullet for you!

I had been looking for my wife when I heard my name. To my right, I saw my love pulling a tall but sort-of thin man with dark hair and red highlights my way. "Johnathan, this is my 'brother,' Elliot... Elliot, my husband, Johnathan. I looked at his face and then back to her several times. Elliot isn't my real brother. We were matched when I returned looking for any relative I have and found none. Elliot was also looking and found nothing. We hit it off the first time we met, and parts of us just clicked like we've known each other for a long time. That's when we called each other 'Brother and Sister of lost souls.'

I smiled at my wife, "I've known who you were long before this love of my life. Nothing, I mean nothing, could change the way I feel for you! She smiled her biggest one yet, and threw herself into my arms. "I get it, needing your time to focus and not let anyone too close for feelings. Baby, I'm not going anywhere. You are my life now, and I will die before I let anything or anyone hurt you again!"

I told Kat and her brother to find my Mom, Dache, and the other five heads and bring them both over here while I got another, and we'll all meet up here. They left, and I walked over to the bar and asked for their oldest bottle of sake and ten glasses. Then, next door to the food area, I got a plate of finger food and headed back to clear off a large table. As everyone arrived, I set out the glasses, then walked around filling each of them but asking everyone to hold off drinking for now.

I gave my wife a kiss that had everyone clapping. I asked her to invest $50 million in my company to be paid back in future stocks and payments, including a fair interest rate when we begin to turn a profit. A different woman was present when I mentioned business; "Talk to me" was all she said. You can best believe I did just that!

I asked her brother where he worked. "Asst. Manager at 'Wally World,' how quickly could you begin to make your forms needed to do what you did in our bedroom,"

"I guess three months, but no one will take a chance. It's too new," he replied.

I turned to the six men present, "Unemployment is high in our community due to asshole Biden in office, correct? not to mention that transportation for them is almost nonexistent, Yes?" They all nodded their heads.

"I have a place where we can start putting this all together that is serviced by the local bus system 24/7, 365 days. Remember the Wattson mattress factory? There is a lot of open space to do with as you please. It's not that far from the community as it is, anyway.

My Mom piped up, "So where does that leave Elliot? he still doesn't have a showroom to show anything".

I looked at her, "But he does!" I looked at Kat, "We add another half to the carriage house, giving it a size just under half of the house that my Mom lives in now, plus giving him two floors to showcase his talents." I turned back to Kat and leaned in for a kiss, but this woman now was all business and put her hand on my chest to stop me.

So, can I get my investment back with some interest to finance this adventure? Is there anything else to this deal?" She looked at everyone in turn before returning to me.

I felt like Chiyia had just slapped me in the face. The idea I had would give her something to escape to whenever she needed it, and not just now and then. I straightened up and looked as a hard-core businessman as I could, "I'll even throw in a seat on the board of the company so you can make sure your money is being spent wisely, and you have the right to get onto Elliot if his focus slips business-wise!" Elliot turned to look at me as he opened his mouth to say something,

"Deal!" came from Kat, and Elliot sighed as he closed his mouth, but I saw the slight grin at the corners of his mouth before he hid it with his hand.

"Now, everyone, let's toast the new business and the prosperity it will bring to the community!" Everyone stood and drank their drinks, "Now, I am off to dance with my wife. Elliot, Could you please wait until we're done? I have something I need to ask you." Kat was already pulling me to the dance floor. She asked if we could dance to the song she fell in love with first. It also explains what she was going to do as well. She talked to the band playing, walked over to me, and led me to the center of the floor.

So there we were, nobody on the dance floor but us. Her hands held mine as we gazed lovingly into each other's eyes. Turns out I knew the song as well, and when the band started, She asked if I was ready. I smiled and knew we'd make it a hit on the internet. We made quite a sight being dressed in our wedding robes, shaking our butts and swirling around to an old 'one-hit-wonder' song... Rockin' Robin." Everyone who was watching broke out laughing as they videoed us for blackmailing purposes later on, I'm sure.

When we were done, my bride and I returned to the waiting Elliot. Then, after a minute's conversation, he said he had to check on something but would be back soon. Then, about five minutes later, Kat and I went to get a drink together. I told her to act like she wanted a quickie right after our drinks and follow my lead.