All Comments on 'The Adventures of Ted and Mark'

Story starts out being told by Ted's viewpoint as it makes reference to Mark and I. Then all of a sudden its by Mark's viewpoint. Need to edit before publishing. Then never getting to the purpose of the story, makes it lame too.

It will help me clarify my next installment. Hope you enjoy it.

At the beginning it sounds like Ted and Mark already have slept together, since the narrator (not clear whether it's Ted or Mark) says "neither of us wanted to begin a committed relationship." The casual mention of the son disowning one of them also makes it sound like they've already crossed the line sexually (why else would a child do something so drastic?). But then the scene at the lake house makes it appear that they haven't done anything yet. I'm confused, and I'll bet other people who read this beginning will be too. Best, Ken

The story starts out a little confusing. I think when you carry on with the next chapter (I hope there's a next chapter) you should be a little less confusing & hopfully it will turn out to be a real "hard on" type story.