All Comments on 'The Adventures of Tim Bodge Ch. 01'

Some misspelling, some bad grammar, you will get better. The story line has many possibilities. You really need an editor to go over this with you. There were several difficult sections that another or 2 sets of skilled eyes could help you improve. Otherwise not all that bad in my mind. I don't write, I just read a lot and know what I like & don't like.

You have the making of a long "tale." Forge ahead with a smile on your face. I gave 5 stars just because of the many story "arcs." Keep on keeping on.

This story is off to a good start. It is a bit choppy in reading and with more experience, you will get better. Get an editor or two and possible some Beta readers if you want constructive criticism. You have the makings of a good story, keep at it. Ask for help in with your narrative story telling and your ability will get better.

Gemman

Excellent for a first try ! I believe what Sir Carl said is very accurate see if you can find an editor that likes Sifi it might help with ideas in the future of this story . Also as he said I'm a reader not a writer " , is the same for me .

Thanks for the read ,5*'s btw

txcracker

for your first time. As stated by others, diction and spelling are biggies...as well as flushing out your story. How did they hear he had a reaction to their fur, how is the computer speaking English, Terran or Galactic whatever if it has been 900+ years since it was built and 250 years since its last crew who were alien to his species? Also, how does DNA sample make food that they would eat...safe, yes, but to suddenly make what they desire? Perhaps if the A.I. could scan their memories, then perhaps that would make sense? Why would he know how to use a light weapon of ancient and alien design? Please, keep going and improving! Glad to see you writing!

Good story keep going

This is truly awful.

Anonymous .... Thank you for at least reading my story. You have a good day. Thank you again.

I hope the editing gets better as you go along.

Could be a good yarn.

A very good start, with some minor editing flaws that does not detract from the story. You do need to give more background detail on how things such as knowledge of how food for the "crew" is made to their specifications without the necessary background knowledge of their culture and such. Language is another thing, Tim meets with the felines and language is immediately no issue? Minor details such as these can make a good story great.

Do go on, you'll only improve as you go along and there are many constructive criticisms from your readers that may help you out.

Hello. I think you have your Planet, solar system, Galaxy and universe names out of wack. The girls keep talking about exploring the universes. That’s plural, however there is only one universe but there are billions of galaxies with an impossibly large amount of stars and planets. So can the universes bit as it hurts my head and put galaxies in the spot instead please.

This seems like it will be a good story but I'm not sure about anyone that would intentionally order a steak medium well. 🤔 I'm looking forward to reading more.

Good concept, nice start but you really need to improve your writing basics. You keep changing tenses and you dialog is very stilted. If dialog flows well the reader will follow the back and forth without a Tim says Sarha says every sentence. This idea has promise but work with somebody to build depth and flow.

Nice concept but I could not endure the manner of writing and changing of tenses. Perhaps the series will improve but it is not written in a way that engages the reader.

Gave you 3 stars. Like others stated your idea is neat, but the grammar, and dialog between characters need to be cleaned up.

One idea. When you write something. Read it out loud while also recording it. To listen to how it sounds.