The Anatomy of an Infidelity Ch. 01

"Hey Rasika." he whispered, standing next to her. "Everything okay?"

She looked up. Her expressive face was red. She shook her head.

"Go to hell, Nitin! I don't want to talk to you anymore!" she said, and cut the call.

Oh great, caught in the middle of another lover's tiff, Arup thought to himself. He was about to say something polite and walk away when suddenly, she put her face in her hands and started sobbing.

"Umm...Rasika...it's okay." he said, bending down and almost stroking her shoulder, and then deciding the better of it. Strangers on the street were still staring. They might have thought he was the reason she was crying.

"Sorry, I am so sorry for crying. I feel like such an idiot." she said, wiping her tears.

"Come on, I'll drop you home." he said.

She quietly followed him to his car and got in. He asked her where she lived. She told him.

"That's very close." he said.

"Yeah, just a kilometer. that's why I usually walk." she said, now more composed.

"Wait...the last few days you have been walking home????"

"Yes." she said nonchalantly.

"At 1 AM???" he was shocked.

"Yes, Pune is a safe place. And this is a safe area. very well-lit. Police vans around at night." she said.

"Still...at 1 AM?"

She just shrugged. He started driving. And then he said,

"Listen, I know Pune is safe. And this area is safe. But still, I am your boss, and I don't like the idea of you walking home that late. From now on, I'll just drop you home every night. Okay?"

"It's not necessary. I grew up in U.P. I know the difference between..."

"Doesn't matter. I insist."

"Okay." she said glumly, looking out the window.

It took just a few minutes to reach her PG. He stopped the car, hoping she would just get out and leave. But she stayed seated. Please please please, don't start talking about Nitin, he silently prayed. In vain.

"So...Nitin canceled his trip. Yet again. Some work crap. I said I could go over to Mumbai. But he says no point. I just don't get how..."

And then for ten minutes, Arup listened and nodded as she ranted. At the end, he said,

"That is very insensitive of him."

"I know." she paused. "I am sorry, Arup, I keep unloading all this on you. Does it bother you? Should I stop?"

He felt very tempted to say, YES! PLEASE STOP! But that would have been mean. So instead, he said the first hackneyed thing that came to his mind.

"Don't be silly. What are friends for?"

"Thank you, Arup! You're such a good friend!" she said.

And suddenly, he saw her raise her arm and move towards him. Very unexpectedly, she hugged him. It was a purely friendly hug. Lasted barely two seconds. But it took Arup by surprise. He awkwardly patted her back two times, as her cheek rubbed against his. And he felt the pressure of a significant fleshy mass of her chest against his arms for those two seconds. There was nothing romantic intended by Rasika in that hug. And nothing romantic perceived by Arup, at least in that immediate moment. She withdrew soon, and then stepped out of the car. She waved him a final goodbye before opening the gate of the house she was a PG in.

But in the immediate aftermath of that hug, Arup felt a shudder and had goosebumps. And he felt like his organ twitched a little. The hug had been unexpected. It was the first time he had proximal contact with a woman that wasn't his wife in ages. Obviously, he had hugged other female friends in the meantime. But that was always planned, expected, cordial, very restrained. You quickly hug and move away. The body knows it's coming, and it knows there's nothing going on. Here, his inner animal had no idea this young pretty buxom woman was suddenly going to be hugging him. It felt...nice. In a way he hadn't felt in a while. Her cheeks were so soft...her hair smelled so good. And her boobs...

"Stop it, Arup! Stop it! She is your subordinate! She is 22!" he scolded himself. He shivered again, and dismissed that feeling as a momentary lapse. And put his car in gear.

As he drove, he reached over to his car console connected to his phone and dialed Veena. She picked up after two rings.

"Hey honey. On your way home already?" she asked, surprised.

"Yes. How's Dubai?"

"Ugh. So banal. So many architectural monstrosities all around."

"Well, you'll fix that, won't you?"

"I hope so!"

"Booked your return ticket yet?"

"Yeah. Flying back Sunday."

"Cool. Send me the itinerary."

"Will do. I have to get back to schmoozing sheikhs. Talk to you later. Love you."

"Love you too."

And Arup hung up, loving how crisp and succinct his wife was. No rambling, no rants. That's the perfect woman for anyone, he said, and thanked his stars she had married him.

The next day was a Friday. When he got to his desk that afternoon, Arup saw that Rasika was already there, and not looking very glum. She still wasn't her usual bubbly self, but that was to be expected after that daily fight she had with her boyfriend. Knowing her, she probably continued that fight into the wee hours of the morning over the phone. Regardless of all that though, she was doing her work better than ever, and that's all he cared about. He still felt compelled to send her an email on that new account she had created.

- How are you doing? Everything okay with Nitin?

Seconds after he sent that email, he looked up. He saw her look at her screen, then look at him and smile and nod. Then he got her reply.

- Yeah, we worked things out. Thank you so much again. By the way, tonight, I will hopefully be an official bachelorette!

Arup read that email, was confused, and replied,

- What?

She replied,

- Tonight at midnight, I get official results of my final year exams. And if I pass (fingers crossed), I will officially be a Bachelorette of Commerce! Yay!

He smiled and replied,

- No need to cross fingers. You're very smart. You will sail through with flying colors.

She read that. And then instead of replying, came over to his desk.

"Hi!" she said.

"Hi!" he replied.

"So yeah..." she lowered her voice and said. "I hope I will pass easily. And Nitin is also sure I will pass. But honestly, there was this one Corporate Finance exam that just...I don't know...it seemed so tough!"

Arup's first instinct was to say, nah, don't worry about it. But he knew enough of her by now to know what to say.

"Oh was it? That is scary. Fingers crossed then!"

"Thanks!" she smiled, and for a moment, he felt she would hug him again. But she didn't. "I swear, if I flunk my graduation exam, I will never be able to face Nitin. he is so intelligent. I feel like a doofus."

"Well...fingers crossed!" he said again, hoping to get back to work.

And work went along. Again, at a much faster rate than usual. Rasika seemed to be growing more efficient by the hour. She was even taking over some of his work, letting him get a couple of extra smoke breaks. And thankfully, she did not follow him out for those. So he got to smoke in peace.

This time though, the ad guys were lagging. So even though a bulk of their work was done by 1130, they still had to wait for the ads to be finalized. In the end, the final pages were done just before midnight. Arup thanked everyone for a job well done. And this time, singled out Rasika. Everyone knew how well she was doing, so even if it sounded like favoritism, he had to recognize her. She blushed as he praised her and everyone applauded, her cherubic pink cheeks turning red. Then everyone started gathering their things.

"Rasika!" he called out, as he saw her starting to walk out. There was no one else left in the office but the two of them.

"Yes?"

"Remember what I said yesterday? About dropping you off?"

"Please, Arup. You don't have to!" she said.

"It's non-optional." he said with a tone of finality.

"Fine." she smiled.

They walked out of the building together. He felt like a smoke again, but decided to first drop her off. As they got in the car and he started driving, his eyes fell on the car clock.

"Hey, it's 5 past midnight. Won't your results be out?" he said.

"Oh shit, I completely forgot!" she said, reaching for her phone. "Let's see...what's my ID number..."

The streets were empty and quiet, like most Pune streets are after midnight. Arup had his eyes on the road. Next to him, Rasika was hunched over her phone, mumbling to herself. And then suddenly.

"FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKKKK!!"

She shrieked so loudly that it startled Arup and made the car jerk and swerve. He almost hit a passing motorbike whose rider honked and glared at him.

"What's wrong?"

"I FLUNKED! I FUCKING FLUNKEDDDDD!!" she yelled, throwing her phone against the windshield. Luckily, it didn't chip the glass.

"Oh shit." Arup said, unsure about how to calm her down. He checked the rear-view mirrors and pulled over to the side of the road.

Rasika was now bawling like a baby, yelling FUCK repeatedly, and slapping herself. Arup had no idea what to do. He reached for her phone, which after hitting the windshield, had fallen in the coffee cup holder next to him. He checked the screen, hoping she had misread it. But she hadn't. The screen had a list of courses. For CORPFIN2 it said, 16/100 REPEAT. She was right. She had flunked her final exams. She did not yet have her degree.

He looked at her. He was relieved to note that she had stopped slapping herself. But she was still crying pretty hard, her face in her hands. She seemed on the verge of a complete breakdown. All he had planned to do was drop her home. And now this crazy lady was having a meltdown in his car. What was he supposed to do?

"Here." he reached for a bottle of water next to him and offered it to her.

Still, crying, she took it from him. Then raised her face and drank some water from it. He looked in the rear-view mirror and spotted a box of tissues in the back that Veena always kept there. He reached over and handed it to Rasika. Rasika took it, said something like "thengyo" and started wiping her face. Another couple of minutes, and the worst of it seemed to have passed.

That's when her phone started ringing. It was still in his lap. He picked it up.

"It's Nitin." he said and offered her the phone.

"I don't want to talk to him." she said, blowing her nose.

"Ok." he said, and pressed the silence button.

The phone stopped blinking. Then it started buzzing again. He was calling again.

"Maybe he just wants to know..." Arup said in a soft voice.

"He knows." she said, using up more tissues to wipe her face.

"Excuse me?"

"He knows. He has my ID number. He know the website. He must have checked. He knows."

"Oh."

The phone started buzzing for a third time in Arup's hand. But this time, it stopped after a few rings. Then a ping.

"It's a message from him." Arup could read it on the screen. "He says...sweetie please pick up. let's talk."

Rasika looked up. She had cleaned herself up by now but her eyes were still red.

"Could you please send a reply saying...not now later."

"Ok." Arup said and did as was told.

The phone rang again. And again. And again. It just sat in his lap. Rasika just sat in her place inertly. Then the phone pinged with a message.

"Hey says ...please talk to me honey. It's not the end of the world."

"Hrmf." she snorted. "Easy for him to say. Not the end of the world. Mr. Perfect. Mr. IITian."

Arup wasn't sure what to do. But he was sure that he did not want to be phone messenger anymore. So he held out the phone towards Rasika again. She took it this time. He saw her quickly type a message and send it.

Arup was conflicted. Should he start driving and drop her at her PG? Should he ask her? Or should he just stay where they were? He finally decided to start driving. She was quiet, just staring into nothingness.

"I will be fired, right?" she asked.

"What?"

"When I got the job. It was conditional on my getting a degree in 6 months. But that's not happening."

"Don't worry about that." he said, not sure what the rules were exactly. This had never happened.

"Why not?"

"Trust me. It's fine. I'll take care of it." he said, not sure if he actually could. But anything to calm her down.

And just as he turned into the lane to her PG, she started crying again. Not in the loud bawling way as before, but still intensely. He felt annoyed but also sorry for her. He did consider her a friend of sorts. She lived in a small room with another girl that she wasn't too close to. She was in a very emotional and vulnerable state. He stopped the car a couple of houses early and looked at her.

"Listen, Rasika. I know this is horrible. Very horrible. You know what...it happened to me too. I also flunked the final semester in college." He had not. But just randomly, he thought that saying it would make her feel better. And it worked. She stopped sobbing and looked at him.

"You did?"

"I did. It sucks." he said. "But anyway...what I am saying is...you are in no position to go back there. Why don't you...come to my place? We have a couple of extra guest bedrooms. You can sleep in one of those. Get some privacy."

She blew her nose and wiped her eyes.

"Your place?"

"Yes."

"Will your wife be okay with it?" she asked.

"My wife will absolutely be okay with it. She is not in town. She is in Dubai for work. But she absolutely will be when I tell her tomorrow." he said, reaching out and stroking her shoulder in a friendly way. "Remember, we became friends when you shared your table with me at the coffee shop? I am just returning the favor."

This made Rasika laugh a little. She was silent for a while. And then she said,

"Okay."

"Okay, so should I turn this car around?"

She nodded.

He felt relieved. He was tired and sleepy. He could take her home, put her in a bedroom, and then deal with this mess in the morning. This is why, he reminded himself, you never get friendly with anyone from work. He drove through the quiet empty streets towards his house, which was a half hour driver away. Rasika just sat quietly, staring out the window. After a while, she asked,

"What happened when you flunked?"

"Sorry?" Arup was taken aback. He had already forgotten the lie.

"When you flunked."

"Oh right." he remembered. "Well, I was devastated. I felt...horrible. Crappy. Like I was worthless."

"That's how I feel." she said glumly. "And then?"

Before he could answer, her phone started ringing again.

"Asshole can't understand what I'm saying! I don't want to talk to him!!" she said angrily. Then he saw her reject the call and turn the phone off.

They were silent for a few seconds. This was enough for Arup to concoct a reasonable story.

"And then...well...I had to take the exam again. I had a job lined up. I lost it because of it. Also affected my band practice. It was rough. but eventually, I passed. And moved on. And look at me now." he said,hoping it was reassuring to her.

"Yeah...look at you now." she said with an earnest smile. "Thank you, Arup. You are a dear dear friend."

"As are you, Rasika." he smiled back.

They drove in silence the rest of the way. Soon, he pulled up in front of his spacious house, bought from his wife's salary.

"This is your house???" Rasika asked, impressed by its scale even in her emotional state.

"Yes." he said, putting the parking brake on and getting out.

Rasika got out too. As Arup unlocked the gate using his electronic code, he reached into his pocket for his pack of cigarettes. He had been craving one since they left work.

"I'm sorry...do you mind if I just ...you know?"

"Sure." she smiled.

He took out a cigarette and lit it, feeling the pleasant sensation of the first drag. Rasika was standing next to him, her purse on her shoulder, looking at him with a weird expression on her face.

"What?" he asked her.

"Can I...bum one?" she asked, blushing. Even in the dim street light, he could see her cheeks turning red.

"Of course!" he said, offering her a cigarette and holding up a lit lighter.

He was amused at the cute way in which her innocent cherubic face puffed up as she inhaled while lighting the cigarette. Simple earnest little Rasika is a smoker...who knew? Or was this her first cigarette, he wondered. That suspicion vanished immediately when he saw the way she inhaled, held it in, and exhaled, like a pro, without coughing. And the dainty way in which she held the cigarette between her fingers.

"I didn't know you smoked." he said, watching her chubby cheeks get sucked in and her thick lips part as she exhaled the smoke. She had such a cute and innocent face, in line with the rest of her personality. Watching it smoke a cigarette seemed weird, almost perverted.

"I used to." she said, taking another drag. "Nitin made me quit."

He looked at Rasika carefully, seeing her in a new light. She had such an innocent, almost angelic face. When he had started working with her, she had seemed like such a simple and conventional small town girl, very orthodox, dressing in loose clothes even now. So very different from his aggressive, stylish, liberated wife. And in many ways, Rasika was simple. But now, watching her casually smoke, made him look at her differently. Maybe there was more to her.

"My dad is a chain smoker." she started talking. "I tried my first cigarette when I was 15. Stole one from his pack and the lighter and smoked it on the roof when mom and dad had gone to visit friends. I smoked secretly whenever I could for about six months until a neighbor saw me and told my mom. She gave me the thrashing of my life."

"I didn't start smoking till I was in college." he said.

But she just ignored what he said and continued. He had noticed this about her. When she started venting or unloading, she didn't really listen. Just talked.

"After 12th, I started smoking when I went to college. Had lots of fights with my mom about it. Then an uncle died from lung cancer. So I quit. For a little while. Then I started again. Until Nitin made me quit after we started dating. In a very... melodramatic way."

"Well, he does have a flair for the melodramatic." Arup said, not wanting her to expand on it.

Rasika let out a hollow laugh and looked at her switched off phone. She turned it back on. It pinged with a bunch of text messages. She read them one by one. By then, both their cigarettes had finished. Arup unlocked the door and led her in.

"Wow, this is such a pretty house!" Rasika said, looking at the elegantly decorated large living room.

"That's all Veena the architect."

"Your wife is an architect?"

"Yes...have I never mentioned that?" he asked. But then thought, she talked so much about herself, that he hardly got a chance to reciprocate.

"No, I had no idea. I mean I knew you had a wife. But you never told me what she did." she said, strolling around the living area.

She walked past the paintings, the wall hangings, and stopped by the small bar they had. It was stocked with a lot of exported liquor. Rasika picked up bottles one after the other, reading the labels.

"Would you...like a drink? Just to calm your nerves?" Arup asked.

"Sure. That sounds great, actually." she said, sounding tired.

"Did Nitin make you quit drinking as well?" he asked as he stepped behind the bar and reached for the glasses.

"No no...he likes to drink. But he is more of a beer guy. All this...is something my dad would like." And she started talking about her dad again. "My dad...he loves his drink. In fact to be honest, he is an alcoholic. Got an early retirement because of an injury on the job. Full pension and all the perks. And this was when I was a baby. So for as long as I knew him, he was a guy who just went to the army canteen, got all the free booze he could. Then sat in his room, drinking, and reading poetry and listening to music."

Arup didn't know what to say. He just put ice in two glasses, and moved his hand over the bottles.