All Comments on 'The Annual Outing'

You're lucky.....With all that barebacked fucking and those guys "historically" fucking around in other places, it's a wonder you did not catch an STD.....

You write well and tell a good story. However, I didn't care for the ending to your story.

Boyd

This was well done and I enjoyed reading it. The problem I had was the extent of the wife's adultery and her planned extra marital pregnancy. I think that the author raised the level of her infidelity too high for a reasonable reconciliation to take place. In my mind I could see no ending but seperation and divorce - the betrayal was too extreme. I do appreciate the author's efforts and hope that there will be more tales forthcoming.

Forgiveness is wrong, it just provides the permission to do it gain. "If you forgive once they'll do it again because they know it's easier the 2nd time. Kick the cheaters ass out and move on.

A real man would never take a whore who has some other man's baby back. he should have seeked more not less revenge.

I thought of all kinds of witty comments, but something Joesephus said in his comments below convinced me to take a different approach.

Technically this is a well written piece. There are a few glaring problems with a few plot holes, but as writing goes it is well done.

But having said that, I have to tell you the same things I mentioned to "The Wanderer". When you write something (and I'll have to be honest with my next statements) in a usually "Male" forum certain things start to occur. When a Male reads a story that he can get into he starts to put himself in the place of the main character. Often you can tell this by the reaction to the piece by the posters in general. Males who would react the way you wrote this story are (if you pardon a country expression) "As scarce as hens but only twice as rare."

The problem that I usually have with this type of story is that (sorry Josephus) authors who write and usually have a problem with divorce will write in some really bad, evil, and depraved things a wife will do with another man that is hidden from the husband and then after its all said and done try to write it so that the husband, who is supposed to love his wife "soooo" much, will forgive her and share some of the blame.

Sorry but that comes off as a weak husband, with little, or no self respect. Strength doesn't come from being a floor mat and taking the blame for anothers decisions. If they had talked and he ignored her, that's one thing, but deliberately hiding an affair, so she can have another man's child for her husband to raise, is another. It was almost as if he was a "desperate" husband who doesn't want to face the world alone because his wife is the only person he can or ever "will" love and willing to love him back. Thats a crock to me. If you found that person, and your not deformed in some way, there are millions of women in the world. You just have to work at finding someone who isn't intrested in betraying you. There are lots of women over 21 in the world intrested in being fathful to a man and not abusing him or cheating on him.

But not in the Literotica world though. In the world of Literotica having a loving couple is usually having one wife or husband that is faithful and willing to always take back a cheating mate. Its not usually where two people who actually "Love" each other are willing to forgo having sex with others. I can never understand why in the Literotica world there are always multiple free do overs in marriages from authors like this. Man these women must have married some ugly guys for just their money.

But for some reason 80% of the male leads in Literotica can't move on with their lives and find a new woman. The majority of the writers think they are making a strong male lead by making them stay to work on a broken marriage. I'm not talking about beating the wife, dehumanizing her in revenge, or beating up the other guy. I'm talking about having enough self respect that, as you wrote in the story, the husband finds out that his wife is cheating on him, has been for years, done with with the same person, had a child by him and deprived her husband of the chance to insure the child was by the other man, bought outfits for the other guy, gave the husband pitty sex, and was perfectly willing to continue this till caught, doesn't speak of a loving wife. Anyone willing to say "Well she made a mistake and won't do this again" is kidding themselves, and thats why most male will never think of this as a good story.

I also find it funny that you had the husbands take revenge against the men they didn't even know, and "then" let the wives of those same husbands have the self respect you guys are always denying the husbands, in the name of love. Don't you guys feel their wives love them enough to just look past it too? Is always because the wives are getting a chance to quickly say they are sorry to the husbands they cheated on, but not the other husbands? You know what? Why don't you guys give the other husbands the same chance you gave the wives. Why don't the husbands sit down with the other husbands, give them same negative spiel they give the wives about some concequences, then let them also beg the husbands for forgiveness too? I used to wonder why that was never written, but now I know. Its because some of you folks have to have just a *tiny* but of revenge written in the story, and it gets passed off to the other guy. Yep thats fair. Blame the other guy, but have the husbands sharing the blame with the wife.

Having self respect doesn't usually mean the husbands are a floor mat that they wives can wipe their feet on and do what ever they want to the husbands and they keep coming back for more. That's a puppy not a husband.

-Risq

truly bizarre

where do people like this live?

The story was OK as an exercise in writing a formula story, which is pretty much what you promised.

One point, one does not 'shoo the kids into the other room' when they are 5 and 2. A 2 year old must be monitored constantly, and cannot be left in another room or in the back yard for 2 minutes.

I enjoyed the story but could have seen changes. One is that Jan could have explained why she had Sean as it sounded planned (and it wasn't a once a year thing). Two is that she could explain how she started this and how she performed sex with another and not doing the same acts with Jim.

Three is that I could see that it would be much longer for them to get together and more pain in sex and with emotions. Four - a revenge affair to make Jan pay. Five - a contract leaving all possessions (including kids) if Jan and Jim divorced to Jim as a requirement for marriage. I liked your writing and think a Bob story would be a good sequel.

i could never stay with a whore that did that to me. a bitch who could intentionaly saddle her husband with another mans bastard could kill him in his sleep or anything else.

I believe I have just read a story with the worst wimp. Surely no person could accept or forgive this deliberate, calculated affair. This had been going on for 4 years or more where both women lied to their respective husbands and then one of them deliberately witheld sex a week before and after the liaison to ensure that she became pregnant by her "lover". How anyone can accept that behaviour by their spouce and then look at themselves in the mirror each morning is beyond me. Then those ridiculous rules. They would be more damaging to the family then a break up. I have tried to write this gender non specific except where I had to mention the characters and the pregnancy. If I were such a wimp I would not be able to live with myself, not because of the illicit action by my spouce but because of the absolute lack of self respect for myself.

I hope that those who disagree with the actions of your characters also acknowledge your skill as a writer. Personally, although I'm only 24 and desperately hoping to convince my girl to marry me, I hate divorce. My mother apparently likes the process so much I soon expect her to start on her 6th.

My one quibble is that I didn't see atonement. I saw a period of unrealistic expectations, you hinted that the wife was willing to be demonstrative in her love, but I don't think that's atonement.

I have written several cheating stories on another site, and have two pending for Lit right now. I know just how hard that is to demonstrate what I call repentance. Again, you do imply it but you don't show any concrete examples.

Without it, what you have is a man willing to accept a reduced marriage. I think that's realistic, but somewhat unsatisfying in a story. Of course, part of this is self-serving; I'd like to see other's ideas on how a cheater can "make it up" to their spouse. I think that is especially difficult when the spouse has committed the ultimate betrayal by creating a child outside of an existing marriage.

I think that's bothering me too. A "Same Time Next Year" affair is, in many ways, worse than a simple office fling. It takes planning and a long-term commitment. When a child is planned from such an affair, I think I'd need more than, "I didn't think I would get caught." You also hint at a deep hostility at the opening of the story, "Even his mother thinks he's the spiting image..." That isn't ameliorate by her telling her lover that she loves her husband but needs to cut lose. I didn't see that as comforting information. I thought it should a deeper level of betrayal.

Bottom line, I loved your easy narrative style. I agree with your moral position on the kids being more important than the parents. But, while but I think while you've implied them, you've left out some important details to leave me satisfied that the husband also received justice.

An ok story but I think it could have been better.

I think you could have done better with the husbands emotions and sense of betrayal. He mentioned all the standard feelings etc. but it somehow came off as a bit clinical to me. I just didnt get much of a sense of anger or hurt or anything really from him. Since Im not the writer here, I cant even really offer suggestions as to how to better convey emotions though :)

Having the wife purposely get pregnant with the other guys child was too much. To me that put her far over the line and made the reconciliation seem less than satisfying. It also made her claims that she had no real feelings for the guy a lie imo. If you had just written about a once a year affair that went on for a long period of time, then you could have got them back together without making the wife seem so heartless and the husband seem so whipped. Not really sure what having one of the children belong the the lover accomplished really except giving him something more on Randy.

Since you made the wife out to be so amoral, cruel and self-centered, the kids as a reason for staying together also kind of falls apart. Yes its nice for children to have two parents but if one of them is the wife in this story, it almost seems like they would be better off with one. Again it would have been better as a story about a simple once a year romp instead of a complete and total betrayal of her whole family and the man she claims to love.

Even though I didnt think the story was perfect, it was still good. Thanks for writing.

p.s. the length of their marriage was also an issue here. Married seven years and having an affair for over half of them wouldnt give me much confidence in her 'love' or willingness not to hurt me if I was the husband. Sure didnt take long for the new to rub off her marriage or for her to get sick of being a wife and mother. Has to make you question if two kids, a loving husband and a white picket fence is what she really wanted in the first place.

He blackmails her into staying married?