The Astronaut Ch. 01

*CH1. The Bar

The night I met Vanessa I was out with my crew, Ryan, Che and Steve. We had a table at the popular bar Sideshow, and were getting frustrated watching hot girls totally ignore us. We're all good looking guys, decent height, early 20's. But not players. We respect women, worship them even. After a round of Tequila shots the testosterone won and Che proposed a contest. We each approach a different girl, whoever returns with a phone number drinks free. Of our group, Steve has the most game, and it looked like he was in with a decent looking blond, but she had a boyfriend. Ryan and Che did ok, but eventually got shot down too.

Then she walked in. The most beautiful girl I have ever seen. She had olive skin, dark brown hair, smokey eyes, and an adorable button nose. She was tiny and skinny but a perfect bubble butt stuck out lewdly from her petite frame. The whole bar stared as she walked past. A model for sure.

Dread rose in my stomach because I knew I was up. The guys started razzing me hard and there was no way out. Each step towards her felt like a mile. She had her back turned so I lightly tapped her shoulder, my finger electric against her skin. She turned to me. "Nope." she dismissed me and turned back. I got rejected. Hard. It wasn't even a fail- it was an execution.

"Wait, I need to ask you something." I fought for my dignity. "I need your number to win a bet. Please. I'll buy you a drink. Anything."

She looked at me impatiently for a moment, and then the annoyance on her face turned to a wry little smile. "Julie, check this out." A leggy blond stepped forward. "This little loser is playing a game with his friends." She stepped closer. "So let's play. I'll give you my number, but only if you put a finger in your ass."

"What? haha" I laughed, confused.

"This one." She said, and grabbed the middle finger of my right hand. "For three seconds."

I stammered. "Uhh.. right here?"

"Yeah. Nobody will notice. Here, I'll help you." As I watched in disbelief, she took my finger between her pouty pink lips, and gently sucked down past the knuckle. Reaching the base, she caressed it with her tongue and looked up at me like a puppy, brown eyes flowing directly into my soul. Then she slid out with a little wet pop.

"Ok. Do it." She instructed, and they both looked at me blankly. Feeling a bit trapped, I swiveled my head around, calculating if my friends would be able to see. Probably not. I decided to fake it. I reached back and snaked my hand into my pants, across my ass, and found my asshole with the tip. "There."

"NO." Her sparkling eyes were locked on mine. "Inside." I was flustered, so I pushed. There was a tinge of pain and then it was in. The girls watched me intently as I waited a moment, and then pulled it out with a slight grimace. When my hand emerged they both burst out laughing hysterically. "I can't believe he did it!" Julie shrieked. She yelled out to the group. "This guy just fingered his own ass!" I held my finger awkwardly in the air, thankful nobody seemed to hear.

Vanessa stopped laughing and got serious. "I don't think he did." She grabbed my wrist and took a quick sniff near my finger. "It doesn't smell. You faked it."

"No, I did!" I protested. I went to smell my finger and Vanessa slammed the back of my hand, forcing the finger into my mouth. "What the fuck!" I sputtered, pushing her away. They exploded with laughter again. Finally she relented. "We're just fucking with you faggot. Give me your phone." I fished it out and she typed her info. "Don't contact me," she said, and they turned away. I scampered back to our table.

Steve was hollering in celebration of a conquering hero- they had seen the phone exchange, but nothing else thank god. Che and Ryan held their hands up for high fives. She was actually pretty cool, I lied. Once they settled down I excused myself and went to wash my finger. In the bathroom I realized that I never even got her name. Unlocking my phone, I saw that she had added herself via text.

<< I'm the pussy who ate my own ass for a fake number

What the fuck? The girl is insane, I thought. Back at the table Steve wanted to go over and meet her friends. I was secretly desperate for that not to happen. "I can't come on too strong dude... Don't fuck this up for me." A few minutes later Julie walked past us to the bathroom. "HEY IT'S BUTT BOY!" she yelled, laughing. The guys were confused so I explained that it was just a joke, because she caught me looking at her ass. The lie worked, but Julie was a ticking time bomb in that bathroom. I downed my drink and pounded the table with both fists. "My work here is done boys, let's hit Moonshine."

Out in the cool night air I took a deep breath. Whatever that was, it was over.

-----

Except it wasn't. The next day it played on a loop in my head. She humiliated me. I should have been mad, but all I could think about was how hot she was. Her little peach ass. Her doll face. Her little pink lips wrapped tight around my finger. I masturbated furiously. Repeatedly. My thoughts swirled. She made me finger my own ass.. Where was my dignity? And after all that a fake number. A final kick to the balls.

Because it was definitely fake, right? But maybe not.. Beneath her calling me a pussy I wrote a new message.

<< lol my name is Paul. Nice to meet ya

Then I waited. Minutes passed like hours. Hours like days. I checked over and over, reading both messages repeatedly until passing out around 2am. At 3:16am my phone dinged and lit up.

>> wrong number

It was fake. She completely fucked me.

-----

Weeks went by. Gradually I stopped jerking off to her memory and life went back to normal. I got a promotion at work. I even went on a date with a co-worker's friend named Emily. It went great, and we made out in my car, but she had to get up early so I headed home with no action. 3:44am my phone vibrated. There was a text.

>> jk