All Comments on 'The Back of a Motorcycle Ch. 01'

Can't wait to read what happens next please make more.

good start, waiting for more...

Nice writing good pacing, plot and good start to characters.

I would change lupus's name to something more probable. I can imagine Lupus as a title or cognomen but can't imagine any concealed pack/clan naming a child so blatantly. (Wolf names are kinda rare too in 40 years I have only met one wolf named guy, Lobo and despite it being wolf in Spanish it has no meaning in his native Czech; humorously he has a wolf tattoo for completely different reasons)

This story reminds me of The Kitty and the Midnight hour series by Carry Vaughan.

A real great start hope you continue with it. If you do reading up on mundane wolves to flavour your story and help the suspension of disbelief.(or perhaps go more outré and research Dire wolves as a supernatural holdover of North Americas Pleistocene past The greater body weight works out better too and I haven't seen it done before.

isnt lupus a disease where as lupin is a wolf? plus should alpha have passed to tala not a beta?

Excellent first effort. This is a nice story please continue. The bogeymon

1. Lupus - I agree it's a weird name. I wrote the story out (like chapter after chapter), his name got stuck in my head and now I see a whole character named Lupus. It's dumb, but sometimes I meet people with dumb names and I just have to get used to it... but obviously I don't need to keep a characters name like that... just don't know how to change it! Someone suggested I change his name and I am up for it, but I am so dang new to this place that I don't know how to edit an already submitted piece of work. I just wrote it, got the guts suddenly to post it and did it thinking it'd be easy to fix mistakes and it's not! (like the blog world) Nor do I know how to find an editor even though I've read the, "Find an Editor" section several times and tried the search engine. And now I've learned my lesson, because it says that there are just over 4,000 views and I DID NOT expect that. :)

2. Redlion75 - I thought Alphas were the strongest of the pack? Thanks for the comment though, you are probably right? Tala is strong, she IS an alpha, but she's not the leader type, she's the "assist an alpha" type. 'Lupus' (the one with the odd name) is an alpha type. Sooooo he'll need to decide to chill or he'll be getting all hot/bothered and try to cause trouble. We'll have to see!

3. AND THANKS for the comments guys! I am new to writing around here it's sweet what you said in kindness or constructive criticism alike. Thanks for being patient with me as I figure this thing out... and if you want to give me advice on editor/editing before I get it submitted... then by all means... I am listening.

With so much love -

Duclet

I found an editor!

I just had to get frustrated enough.

I do well with opposition.

Thanks again for the comments - I heard you!

So much love -

Dulcet

Looking foward to more chapters.

This is AMAZING so far. Well done.

Ugh. Where is the rest of this story?