All Comments on 'The Bandit, The Knight, and The Lady Ch. 01'

First of all, it's well written. Your story could have used just one more proof-read, as there were a few spelling and syntax errors; no big deal though. It's just that I would LOVE to read a story with no spelling/syntax errors....

I liked the bandits, but I do wonder why Faizal would allow himself to lead a band of stupids. He doesn't seem fatuous - perhaps his bandits could have a bit more intelligence?

I'm a little frightened for Sir Heinrick, since we know he'll die when she climaxes and clearly they're on the road to having some sort of sexual encounter.

The tenor is a little bit humorous, and clever. Nice plot twists!

Too bad there's only one of Nessa for the two seemingly soon-to-be-singed hetero-sexual partners. It would be cool if there were more dragons, too.

Not sure who's the protagonist. I look forward to finding out more about the characters.

I tend to prefer darker non-human stories; so far, this one seems pretty sunny. The knight seems so Dudley Do-Right, but not quite ridiculous enough to match Dudley (a character from an old cartoon series, hosted by Rocky and Bullwinkle). Might be good to take the character a little further - or perhaps just get rid of him and bring in in a more deeply complex hunky knight? I'm hoping Nessa might meet her match.

I'm looking forward to a bit more depth and complexity, but you are clearly a great writer! Nicely done so far. Keep up the great work.

Cheers.

Thank you Rex, for your comments. It is tremendously helpful to me. I have only recently started writing fiction, and am still learning the ropes. This is my third piece, the other prior two being non-erotic and extremely short practice attempts.

I had a volunteer editor go through the story. However, after the first iteration, neither of us was happy with what happened after the forest scene as I had quite a different manner of knight storm the gates. I ended up revising it and must have flubbed some spelling and grammar along the way. I'll certainly take note for the next installment.

Not sure why the bandits came off as dumb. It was not my intention to portray them as such, but perhaps they will have a chance to redeem themselves.

For all you other guys pondering whether or not to add in your critique, please do. The harsher the better. I know what my username is, but I can take it!