All Comments on 'The Bank Statement'

Don't be too hard on poor Jenny?!!! A whore! Kick that piece of shit to the curb permanently. Garbage.

It may not be a surprise that a reader of erotica also knows those who participate in erotica. This situation arises fairly often in the escort community, not with husbands and wives but with boyfriends and on rare occasions a fiancé. Many escorts are married but I've never heard of a husband not knowing. When a guy discovers his girl is an escort, the relationship is almost always over, though they may work it if the couple were having 3somes or were swinging. I've never heard of a supposedly monogamous relationship surviving that revelation. At least in this story the amounts of money involved are relatively true to life for a higher end escort, though the amount of savings is hard to believe One note: the bank statement should have reflected significant withdrawals for purchases, since she would have needed to buy expensive clothes, lingerie, salon care, etc.

A collection of cliche's. Dialogue and characters as deep as a puddle. The ending is particularly awful.

I have no problem with her being an escort non at all,

but if escorts have no problem with it then how come the truth can't be told right from the start. You know doing the time of the relationship that you ask each other what you do for a living? If you are not ashamed or think that you are doing something wrong then why not tell them from the start. if you were a banker and someone didn't like your job you would say goto hell, right? So you suggest to us not to be too hard on her, and I suggest to you that now that you have started down this path to write a believeable ending don't give us some crap about how he realizes that he loves her too much to give her up and after years of her lies that he comes to except that she is a whore because men who think like that don't leave in the first place. What most people don't get it's more about the lies and the trust than the cheating. if you are a whore then be a proud one and admit it up front.

<p>It is physically impossible for anyone to be as stupid as Jim was. This guy is just oblivious to everything, and yet we are expected to believe that he is a successful businessman, doing deals with the likes of Google. </p>

<p>Until Jenny told him, he hadn't a clue that she was a call girl. With all the facts he had staring him in the face, how could he not have figured it out?</P>

<p>I know that this was just a silly bit of fantasy, but such glaring logical inconsistencies make reading this stuff very difficult.</p>

<p>In the face of the sheer absurdity of the story's concept, the Loving Wives nut cases' standard chant to throw the bitch out only adds to the surreal quality of this rather strange story. Surely the author doesn't expect us to take any of this seriously.</p>

If you're going to write only part of a story, either don't bother starting it, or at least warn us, so those of us who'd like to read a complete story can leave this sort of rubbish alone. <BR>

Could have been a half decent story with an ending! And you bloody well told us in your intro there was an ending - BULLSHIT!

You can certainly continue with this crap, OR NOT, but it is still pig manure. And it is NOT because it is about cheating, being a high priced hooker. It is how the fuckin' stupid story is told that makes it gibberish crap.

I feel pretty used for having wasted precious time on this sad piece. The fact that you promised an ending that you didn't deliver puts you on my skip list. Not many authors on here are ones that I skip completely....

Strange little tale of a slut and a dummy. If she cares at all for this guy she just takes the money and walks away. She doesn't think she is really that bad, but she is really worse, just a common whore, no thanks!

when you marry a whore... hope this guy is not a wimp and forgets this slimy whore and get on with his life... whores never change and only wimps stays married to them

The story line is plusible, though living with a person for three years and not having a clue as to what she is doing is utterly stupid. It can only happen in stupid story.

there is no way Jim should accept her, even if Ralf uses his influences on Jim. She had a different man once a week for about 2.5 years (none in the first 6 months). That worked out to at least one hundred men. Stayingovernight with the men means there are possibilities of AIDS. Then the excitement of being with another man, which she just could not say no to.

The best for this story is for the author to stop here.

and so deliciously erotic, especially the end.

don't worry for me to be hard on poor jenny.

i love her and it is such a pity he had to

find out. for him too!

the better authors and many readers on this site know very well that it takes more than just a fuck-story to be successful. Although we know it's just a story, sometimes even based on true facts but enhanced or expanded to make it a story. One common factor for the good ones is that they appeal to people, that our imagination can accept the story and transpose it or relate it to situtations that may or not seem to be more or less believable. That certainly goes for the characters. The saying is that love is blind, but being a businessman himself and not so young as to be naive anymore, a woman walking into a bar, adressing him as if she is expected, having a conversation like she had on her phone about mixep-up identities... really, he couldn't be that stupid not to understand that there was more to it than she let on. I also can't understand how he could think that she was still a virgin. An the reasoning before he no longer could deny what was going on when he saw her in that hotelbar... I's all a bit shallow, flaws in the build up and that makes it loose the credibility of his character. Yes we know it's just a story, but the difference between good, excellent or outstanding isn't all that big, yet the qualification implies a clear distinction... G.Belgium

Well that provoked a storm didn't it?

They do say no publicity is bad publicity, and I guess the same applies to comments, so thank you everyone.

Pity some of the more 'Jenny positive' ones were direct to me by e mail (I've never had so many by the way ! ) and not left for the general public.

It astonishes me how serious some people take all this. Jenny isn't real you know, or at least isn't to my knowledge.

I'll do a sequel, but unless she gets a bit more support, it looks so far, as if poor Jenny is going down.

PS How do you send feedback without having to vote for yourself? (It won't accept it otherwise) Does anyone know?

Sorry, Jenny has to go down and hard. The way you ended this part of the story shows that she really does not love her husband. There is no way that the marriage can survive because she will not remain faithful, unless you intend to change the husband into a wimp. Good story so far and can't wait for the ending. Just hope you don't change the husband's character.

This is basically a good story, very well written and thought out but the mentality of the two main characters are very flawed which can cause problems to both reader and author. From the story itself (as I can't read the mind of the author) the wife really does love her husband but is addicted to a lifestyle that isn't good for relationships and the husband loves the wife to the point of total denial up until he actually witnesses her meeting with another man, I'm not really sure how this marriage can be saved or if it's worth saving. Maybe by introducing another character to the plot line such as a councilor or a very wise friend you will be able to make a reconciliation possible, but be careful as many readers will be quick to write off this as a wimp story.

so ill go in the middle ... a great story and a bit different...but as the end suggests she will never quit ....and as she has done so much to really kill all the feelings jim should have for her .....as for rolf oh yeah he only wants to help....he is evil itself ...maybe she should help him out by telling his wife what hes up to after his help ...so she can help him find that new wife after the one he has divorces his sorry ass...as far as this wife goes maybe she can send jim a different woman every day for a cpl of years and after hes fucked about 300 other women ...escorts not prostitutes mind you ...and after she has gotten rid of her fortune that she got by being paid for sex which is what most people call prostitutes...maybe then jim might forgive her ...but i dont think hell stay married to her as how could he ever trust her ...yeah divorce her then just become her free fuck ....but remember to use a condom...he can fuck her and then find a nice wife to marry and have his kids by ...who would want a wife that was a prostitute to have his kids even if she was rich...i really think jim may be better off to expose her to her family and everyone she holds dear ...maybe if daddy cut her out of his will then she might have to straighten up or admit that she will have to really work now as a prostitute till she cant go any more just to have money to live on when shes old .....then she can buy her own love with what is a male prostitute a gigolo ...so what if she pays males to fuck her after shes 45 ,,,she will have made enough by then to afford it....she may even be able to pay jim

their attention. No matter they say they're reading you. You're hitting them in their emotions...and mine.

If I could write like that, and I can't or I would, I'd leave it here. Let the folks who tell you how it should end imagine it for themselves. Ken

Don't be hard on Jenny? Are you kidding? She has deep emotional problems and a lack of concience. She isn't stupid, but she sure acts that way. Does not deserve to be married and happy. If she was bored, she should have got a real job to fill her time. ***** Excellent story though. I hope you will write another chapter.

truly worthless slut/cunt of a bitch, she deserves a slow death of AIDS, but knowing she has stupid brit cock sucker for husband I'm sure there will be tearful reconciliation; she is liar and whore too bad she didn't stay single and in profession she loved

Other than a couple of typos (Prey vs. Pray - Or is that Brit speak?)<p>

But 'don't be too hard on Jenny'. Hmmm. The woman has been a prostitute for the three years of her marriage. Exactly how much slack am I suppose to cut her? She is a liar and the marriage is a sham.<p>

And she is not a prostitute because dire circumstances have forced her to this last resort. As she correctly points out it's not about the money. Probably never was. Oxford educated and the only child of a wealthy family. No, she is a thrill (or power) junky and is getting the 'highs' than she craves from the illicit sex. She was only able to go through six months of withdrawal before she had to get back into it.<p>

Her professions of love seem a little empty to me. How much love can a person have when you are deceiving your partner strictly for your own sexual satisfaction? There must be an underlying disrespect on her part for how naive Jim is. And did every partner of hers always use protection? If not he, by proxy, had sex with every one of them. To put yourself at risk is one thing, to put your unsuspecting partner at risk also is an entirely different matter.<p>

For those commentators castigating poor Jim: Why so harsh? The supposed hours of nature of the job she professes to have would have been realistic. In the absence of other clues why would he have doubts? When he did have questions he took reasonable and timely steps to resolve them. When faced with the evidence of her cheating he took immediate steps to confront her and then separate himself from her.<p>

The only possible way a reconciliation would be possible is if Jim's love could overcome his sense of betrayal. But how could he ever trust Jenny again. Even if she promised she would reform how long would it be before the withdrawal pangs would induce her back to her old ways?<p>

Not a good bet. Thanks for sharing.

Dear author,

Yes, they both are suprisingly stupid. Maybe love has something to do with it,, on both sides! Jenny really does not ring true. Being an Ivy graduate I can not see an Oxford

graduate as someone who would not think everything through before accepting the marraige proposal. Having thought it through she would have immediately seen that she did need

to spend some of the well-earned dough on either a marraige

counsellor or better yet a shrink. She certainly would have

known that she had to confess before the marraige. OK, there are married escorts but I do believe that very few of them successfully hide it from their husbands for very long.

<P> As someone mentioned below he should have figured it out in the first five minutes of contact with her. Her playing the role of the blushing virgin shows that she is fundamentally deceitful by nature. Rolf is going to make her see that she can not give up her addiction. Though I would say that I was under the impression that most escorts were addicted to the money and not to the sex!

<P> It is good work. Keep at it. Even Shakespeare worked on some bad plots. Don't worry about "Rate this Submission"

it does not give the rating to the story, the stars do!

Bruce22

A worthless piece of trash who totally betrays herself, her husband, her marriage, and her family, dont be to hard on her? A secret bank account with hundreds of thousands, lying to her husband about her job. Sneaking off conducting herself in public as an exhibitionist whore. Taking chances with various diseases, STDs, and AIDS. Exposing herself and therebu her husband, without his knowledge or consent, to these things. Taking away from her time with him in the marriage and disappearing for hours late into the night. The fact it wasnt just sex became very obvious as Rolf described to her then began to undress her for use even as she proclaims her love for the man she has destroyed. She can clean her own wounds and those of her husband, she needs to commit suicide inside the door to her "agnecy". That act will restore some balance to her husbands life, nothing less than that will be of any consequence. He needs to start divorce proceedings naming adultry and lack of compatibility as the causes. Her family and his, both need to be informed of his wifes vocation. When someone has destroyed you, you can forgive and forget them, but a very simple act of making others understand why you cant be with the person again is very necessary to prevent troubles in the future. Women who think it is only sex and doesnt affect you are very mentally ill. Every second spent outside the marriage is a total betrayal of the marriage and the ultimate in disrespect and shows a total lack of love and caring. The woman in this story is so wrapped up in herself she has no concepts of anything else. There is a medical term for this self love, and it does reflect mental illness..........

I never mark a story down, I try to balance the idiots who give 0s to well written stories just because they didn't like a character's action. How dumb is that? Nice way to make certain that no one will write in this category.

<p>

However, if I were to grade the story I'd give it a a down check for what I think is a plot error. You can't help thinking the husband was terminally stupid, not to realize that his wife is a whore as soon as he sees the bank statement. It's made worse by the way the first date is handled.

<p>

Instead of being a twist, and potentially a good one, we're left thinking he deserves it.

<p>

Now the characters have real potential, the wife has never fully appreciated that she is a "prostitute." She clearly has some major issues that need to be resolved, and if you could somehow redeem the husband's wit, you could have a very interesting human interest story. Can the wife "fix" herself? How could she become someone worthy of her husband? Why would he want to take a chance on a person with so little character?

<p>

I do wish you could go back and fix the amounts on the bank statement, make it a bit of a mystery. For example have one deposit and one withdrawal, each for the amount of her salary. That would make anyone suspicious, but wouldn't lead the reader to immediately know she's a working girl.

<p>

I did love the touches you made in the wife's character. Not willing to think of herself as a prostitute, thinking that all she ever gave of herself was a warm hole. I was distracted by the fact that she seemed to be stalking God, I wondered if she was using a gun or bow when preyed. Perhaps that explains why "He" didn't do much to help her.

<p>

If we didn't know she was a whore, I would have loved the way the husband refused to see the evidence in front of him. This is credible because we often won't see what we don't want to see. His wife spends the night at a hotel and he earns a large amount of money and he hasn't a clue? Take away the money and you have a husband who should be very worried about an affair but who refuses to let his mind go there.

<p>

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All in all a well written and well thought out characters, plug the plot hole and you've got a story that should be highly ranked.

I won't be too hard on your character, but you are a different story. The character you created is a sick woman. Her action though are too well thought out for a simple addict. It is the taboo, the lies, the control it gives her, the perverse form of having a secret....loving wife, classy whore. You did a nice job of writing it but there are no justifications and even if there were, why would her husband EVER trust her again. Leave your story where it is. The hole you created can only get deeper, and anything you write most likely just undo what you wrote.

Well done, but I'm in agreement with the other merciless fucks here when it comes to Jenny. You don't get a second chance at real happyness when you betray trust like she did. She should have told him from the start that she was a working girl.

stories on this site and I am looking forward to the next chapter.Well written and a nice plot.

In the end stupidty will KILL you every time. It certainly kills this story. He met Jenny NOT at a Bar thru a case of blind date or someone getting stood up.. but as a hot woman wearing a SHORT cocktail dress (aren't all of those dresses short anyway???) wearing NO underwear... and she gets a phone call to confirm if she has met the right guy ...

<br></br>

well hello you fucking idiot.

<br></br>

Then years later he follows Jenny to swanky Hotel bar where she meets an older man... after discovering 175,000 pounds in a secret bank account.. and this Moron STILL hasnt figured it out ?

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Frankly I have no sympathey for the husband. NONE. He is a Moron. I hope he suffers a good long time and perhas kills himself.

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as For Jenny ... as FREGEN said she doesnt need the $$$ and her education and upbringing strongly implies this is all about power/ addiction. Which she has every right to have... <b>How much love can a person have when you are deceiving your partner strictly for your own sexual satisfaction? There must be an underlying disrespect on her part for how naive Jim is.... To put yourself at risk is one thing, to put your unsuspecting partner at risk also is an entirely different matter.... </b>

I don’t know where you would go with this story that would make a lot of difference. This is a woman with self-esteem and delusional outlook problems. She certainly has no concept of monogamy least a marriage of sharing love. She needs to find help in understanding who she is and what she really wants.<P>

How any man could overlook or try to forgive an outright whore and accomplished liar is a hill that became a very high mountain. Why would anyone want to say they love you but had to have other men before and after your meeting? Where would trust have a base to start from? This is a hole so much deeper then what Ohio gave us in his story “What Did I Do That Was Wrong”. In Ohio’s story a very submissive man agreed in letting his wife be promiscuous without return benefit.<P>You do write very well, but how could you turn this story into one of any reconciliation without making both characters into really illogical fools. They are supposedly both well educated and sound in their average assessments of standards.<P>This is a good effort of writing and was good entertainment but a little like the start of a JPB story.<P>Please keep writing<P>PT

I'll bet the author knows the basic realities of escorting. He gets right that she would use an agency, because the escort business in London is run through agencies and there aren't nearly as many independents as in the US. The amounts paid are also in line with a higher end escort with a 4-hour minimum and who does overnights. He gets right the kind of hotel, describes the typical client well and only exaggerates the amount of public flirtation and perhaps the sexiness of the dress. My assumption is the author knows escorts and has taken the idea of escorting to the extreme that the husband doesn't know. A number of escorts are indeed sexually needy but this character is an exaggeration, since escorts are in the business for the money. The problem with this character is a version of what escorts call "compartmentalization," what they do to separate their regular lives from their sex work. No person could be so two-faced without showing significant signs of major psychological and emotional problems. We know nothing about her background and yet her husband would. He would know her family and they would have talked in their years together about what was right and wrong with her family. I know of cases where a man has found out his wife used to be an escort, but if a woman were to keep this kind of secret for years after marriage other things would be going on in her life and mind, things she could not hide, so the idea that she would be entirely normal except for this one thing is ridiculous. It is also, btw, very unusual for an escort to save that much. She would have had a financial reason for beginning, such as the need to pay for school or finding that she was only qualified for low paying jobs that couldn't support her lifestyle.

'Jenny' is quite tame compared to some fictional wives depected in this category. at least she gets some compensation. she is a whore, but not a cheap whore.

the story is not that original. but the wife is remorseful and really seems to love her husband. she probably didnt think that she would fall IN love w/ him, but she did.

I've had enough of grads of those schools working for me that I know they can be as messed up as the rest of us.

The more I think about the wife the more interesting she becomes as a character. Those that dismiss her as a simple whore miss the tantalizing clues about her character.

<p>

First, she doesn't need the money.

<p>

Second, she appears not to have dated normally much, why else would her parents have worried about her not dating at her still young age.

<p>

Third, it's not the sex she'd addicted to, she talks more about the excitement of not knowing what's going to happen than about the sex. It's the thrill which I think is more common and more destructive than we want to admit.

<p>

Fourth, there's the money. That's a very strange clue to her behavior. It's implied that she had no trouble accepting the money prior to her marriage. Why now?

<p>

Fifth, there is the timing of when she returns to the game. It is only after her husband cools his ardor. It implies a manic need for attention that amplifies her "need" for thrill.

<p>

Sixth, is her reaction to a "John" being "unfaithful" to her. This gives great insight into her real problems.

<p>

Seventh, she has no friends, no a single one. Very telling!

<p>

Last but not least we have a breakthrough as she finally understands the pain she's caused her husband. One of the things I like about this section is that better writers understand the complex entity that is a human. We are the only species that can change, and probably the only one that is self-delusional.

<p>

I do have serious problems with the husband. There needs to be some explanation of why he's so unwilling to consider she's a prostitute. Without that, I have to wonder why a healthy Jenny would want to continue with him.

<p>

I do hope you will continue the story, you have the talent to create interesting characters, one that we don't see much here. I know such characters drive the mindless ones nuts, but reading about perfect wives or Suzie Slut is boring after a bit. For that matter so is unrealistic revenge and stupid cuckoldry. I mean how interesting would it be to have her exposed to her parents and the world? No, I'd much rather see the author work at making me thing the man made the right decision to continue in the marriage. That he ends up with something special. Now that take real skill and brains, I hope Britease is up to the challenge.

<p>I totally agree with Peggy, so I can't really add much to what she said, but I can't give it more than 25.</p>

<p>The wife's character obviously is hooking, and the husband had to know this before he caught her, based on how they met and the recollections. But he ignored it till it was right in his face.</p>

<p>The wife has obviously reached a place where she can separate sex and love, but you have to ask yourself you have to cheat an awful lot to start telling people there is a difference between love and sex. Because most people don't cheat, as far as they are concerned, there isn't any difference. But people who sleep around an awful lot (married or single) are the first to try and point this out to people who aren't doing the same thing as them. It's almost as if they need to find this distinction to justify what they've been doing, to either themselves or others, when they are worried that these people are going to judge them by their actions.</p>

<p>But by the end, if they stay together, it will either be because its a stroke story where the husband gets off on knowing his wife is sleeping around or it will be a "because the author wanted it to happen" story where the reader doesn't really know or understand why they are still together.</p>

-Risq

Your story is very well written. I feel sorry for both characters but neither is particularly endering. She is dishonest with both herself as evidenced by the ending and her husband and he is just delusional. It is easy to see how the story could end but I have more difficulty seeing how it may be resolved. It will be interesting to see how you intend to continue it. It would be nice to see one or both develop a little backbone as they tend to be a little wimpy just going with the flow.

Please put a conclusion on and soon!! Very well written and very intriguing. PLEASE PLEASE don't make it a typical brit WIMP HUBBY ending. A good ending , one with reconcilliation would be ok but please, no WIMPING HUBBY ending. Thanks for a great story.

Well written story. But that's about it. Last year I posed a question in forum version of this website my question was, "Have you dated, or are you dating a hooker? and did you kwow she was a hooker before you married her?" Almost everybody who replied said no they would never 'DATE' a hooker or lap dancer or stripper or escort. They were all repusled by the idea of it. Yet I have to say these people both men and woman must go out on some dates with people who perhaps know but don't want to think about what their partner does. It would be inconcieveable for hookers, etc not to have boyfriends/girlfriends/husbands/wives who don't know what that partner does. And that is my problem with this story I would think that JIM must know what JENNY was doing but only got upset when the proof was right in his face! As for forgiving Jenny for not stopping after they got married I can only conclude that she is a weak willed person who doesn't really know what 'LOVE' is she is confusing lust with love and disrespecting her husband. but by that same token the husband is a fool if he didn't know what she was doing and I can only hope he lets her carry on doing what she knows how to do, and find someone else to love but not in the same circle that his what should be ex wife moves in.

I personally do not believe in the 'Whore with a heart' idea pretty woman doesn't exsist. I personally have never met nor am I likely to meet any woman who asks money for sex.

Lastly her last act of the story while being heartbroken has sex with another man or at least that is what we are led to believe so she can tbe that heart broken. For me the only way for a second chapter is for both of them to move on she to carry on with her 'JOB' and himto find out what it's like to loved by someone who doesn't need the extra thrill of sex with other people.

Your non-ending makes fun of what had been a pretty nice telling of the old 'prostitute wife' story. If yopu seriously want to continue, have Rolf meet and befriend Jim in some way, or perhaps tweak his nose by asking if he is quite through with Jenny. As for being hard on Jenny, why should anyone want to disparage an entrepenuer who makes tons of money?

Just a couple of comments--1. I think you are a fine writer who does a wonderful job of creating believable characters 2.Although It is hard to cheer for an escort or hooker that deceives her husband 3. You portray Jennie as such a charming peronable lady that it is hard to despise her 4. Although husband has been wronged it's hard to cheer for him after the opening paragraph when he was "sorting through the papers on his wife's desk to see if she had paid the phone bill". Please ,he was snooping through his wifes stuff.5 I'm a sucker for beautiful charming women like jennifer. 6. The husband seems to be awfully stupid . In Summary I'm rooting for Jennifer.

60 year old George

If you substituted the word "pornography" for the word "monogomy", which you used below, your over-all phrase makes better sense: ;o) <p>

A story of a whore and little else. No ending <p>

06/17/08 by peggytwitty in USA_Md<p>

I don’t know where you would go with this story that would make a lot of difference. This is a woman with self-esteem and delusional outlook problems. She certainly has no concept of monogamy least a marriage of sharing love. She needs to find help in understanding who she is and what she really wants. <p>

+++++++++++++++++++++++ <p>

But, honestly, don't put down the oldest profession in the world. It is perfectly all right to be a hooker, but it is especially true if you have somehow worked your way up to be a really high-priced hooker (by any other name, if you want). That's not ugly or bad or immoral. <p>

Believe it or not, PROSTITUTES serve a very important function: being depository reservoire for spit, seminal, and other bodily fluids of equally promiscuous human beings like themselves. And being in such a potentially hazardous profession, if they make really good money, it just might as well. Because they gonna need the resources to take care of themselves, when they are older and the body starts to breakdown, even if from the more natural aging and not from incurable or deadly diseases, although we know countless prostitutes suffer from painful deaths, from mutilation to strangelation, to vervical cancer, to highly painful infectious diseases of the throat and vagina, etc. <p>

But "we" have objection when those we love, those who proclaim to love us in return, spit in our food, put little traces of their shit and their lovers shit and spit, in our drinks, because to them such acts --- which are, for some reason or another, UNKNOWN to us, at least immediately --- give them thrill of one type of another. <p>

"We" just have "problems" with such characters, be they real human characters or fictional ones in stories.

Unlke the rest I want the whore Jenny to die a very very slow and terrible death. Tortured to death, her body sliced away little pieces at a time until what is left is not to be reconized as a human being. This story is already finished.

I have very mixed feelings about the characters in this story.Hopefully it is fiction,because I don't think any man with any balls at all would let the bitch take another breath,after he found out about her sluttishness. Although it does make for some good reading.Everyone loves to hate a lowlife slut bitch,and you have written her to be a very huge slut.I hope Jim starts acting like a man and cuts his losses,and throw the scumb bag out..........Rich

while the writing is ok, the plot is a failure. the escort girl is emotionally on a level of a 12 year old. she grew up with money but in a expensive school away from the parents and found out with her smile she gets everything and she liked sex from older guys to compensate that her parents never cared for her and she never felt it.

so where you wanna go ? I mean the guy is not out of mind or do you know every detail what your girlfriend/wife is doing at work ? when not even her parents know what she is doing ?

when I read the other commentators I get the impression the go all to hookers like I go to lunch every day and they give a shit about their familys or anybody else.

are so many so called adults mentally retarded like 60 year old george or EspressoBolus or APeacefulPlaceTx in a Peaceful Place in Tx or the author himself britease?

britease has a good writing style but I think he doesn't know anything about erotic or specific about erotic literature. or would you say writing about disturbed people is erotic? does that give you a hard on? go on but try for a better storyline and characters.

let the story end with rolf having jenny tattoed with the text "sex slave" on her cunt and "big cock slut" on her ass, in order to show her submission to sex with other men. Then let her try to convince her husband to take her back in spite of her addiction to other men, ending with him divorcing her not wanting to share her with any other man.

Constructively - Contrivance is awkward and akin to being braindead for a reason. The reason in this scenario is the story.<P>

Anyone with half a brain [not nearly braindead] had this figured out from the separate bank account on. It was still a vehicle to display your talent which is strong.<P>

A story is only as strong as it weakest point - just like a chain with a bad link.<P>

The story's porously weak link was your close - it tipped it over the edge into the pile of steaming manure it now was. Overkill kills. Kind of like shooting a woman - then for emphasis or yucks shooting her screaming baby.<P>

Most minds could not nor would not want to be any part of that even in a passive reader type sense.<P>

The big question is why? Why didn't you see that most of us would acknowledge your talent but hate your woman and the way you chose to close - to further disrespect the crying distraught loving husband.<P>

And then the writer chose to have her drown the baby kittens in a porous plastic bag so she could watch them - die.<P>

It makes the mind cringe and all your effort, time and imagination go for nought. No semi-sane person looking for arousal or entertainment would buy this book or any continuance of it - or you.<P>

So again - the question remains - why? Why the waste?

The story was fairly well-written, but the ending was weak and while meant to show Jenny's hypocrisy, I feel it could have been done differently. It further implies there will be a part 2 -- I wish I had known this was only part 1 before I started the story. I think labeling the story "ch. 01" would be more considerate towards those who prefer to read a complete story in its entirety rather than part 1, then a month later part 2, etc. I feel the continuity is better when an entire story can be read without long lapses. My main complaint with Jenny echoes many of the other comments. Love is a feeling of one person for another that implies putting that other person first and foremost in his/her thoughts and actions. It requires honesty above all. And a marriage implies that one believes in the vows one swears during the marriage ceremony, be it religious or civil. I know, I know -- adultery is common, perhaps as high as 80% in married men and 60% in married women, according to published studies. But at least those people did not start their marriages out by lying! Jenny was still doing "escort service" while she and Jim were engaged. She deceived Jim into thinking she was a virgin, for God's sake. It's one thing not to discuss previous lovers; i.e., what's in the past is over and done, but that does not mean it's OK to continue to fuck other men while planning to get married. The fact that she kept everything secret from Jim meant she knew it would hurt him if he found out. Knowing he would object to her lifestyle, she did it anyway. I'm leaving out the STD's and all the rest of it. And the irony is, she was angry when Rolf, one of her steady clients (lovers) used a different escort once -- she displayed jealousy as Rolf pointed out. I see Jenny's flagrant disregard for the conventions of society (that means morals) as nothing less than a rejection of her family, her upbringing, her culture. For a supposedly intelligent, well-educated woman to do this in the absence of some type of incest or abuse during her development makes no sense. Now to Jim. I agree with comments that he was pretty dumb and in denial after finding Jenny's secret bank statement. He was educated and should have been pretty people-smart considering all the successful business deals he negotiated. My complaint about Jim's character is two-fold. First, he should have been intelligent enough to hire a private detective to find out what's going on. He could afford it; it makes no sense he would try to do it himself. Second, I don't think making an insulting remark to the bouncers justifies being physically thrown out of a hotel bar, let alone beaten up. Usually one must be drunk and physically disorderly or bothering other customers before one gets thrown out. Regardless, Jim manifests the "wimp" gene that seems so prevalent in these stories. It detracts from the good writing because it seems so lacking in credulity. Hiding from Jenny does not solve anything. Sticking one's head in the sand is equally futile. OK, his world has come apart, but again, someone who succeeds in the business world should be able to handle it better. He must have friends to whom he can turn for support (unlike Jenny). He should see a lawyer (solicitor in the UK, I guess), and I think he needs counseling. He should have photocopied Jenny's secret bank statement for evidence. His lack of backbone suggests he will probably try to get back together with Jenny -- a pretty ludicrous idea no matter how much she might promise to change. I think he wants to keep open the option of reconciliation because he otherwise would have tried to hurt her (told her parents, for example). Jenny did not view her marriage with Jim as a true partnership, a sharing, a union. He shared all the money he earned while she kept most of hers separate. She had this secret identity, "Hooker," just like a secret agent or a Mafia Don. I don't think she really loved anyone except herself.

The story is very well written; no doubts. It is easy to like both characters. The problem is where do we (or rather the author) go from here. Jenny is a women who has trouble keeping her legs crossed to say the least. To put it more bluntly she is a natural born slut. Can she change her ways for the love of Jim? Hardly. The ending suggests that she is indeed a very weak person. Jim so far has reacted like any real man would do. I see two possible endings. Jim continues to act like the man he seems to be, cuts his loses and moves on; or he acts like a wimp and somehow takes her back, she continues her slutty life and he pretends that she loves him. The first ending would be a drama. The second should had to have some element of humor in it otherwise Jim's character would be despicable. Of course the final decision is a personal choice of the author. I personally hate sluts and their wimp husbands/boyfriends. But then again that is just my opinion.

Actually, I like the comments as much as the story itself.

Boyd

Jim should kill her slowly, plain and simple. I am so tired of seeing all these stories with husbands who accept their whore wives as they are. No self respecting man would allow this, or forgive this transgression. I would make her suck the end of a shotgun like it was a cock and then blow the back of her head off.

Well it was well written, I didn't like the story or the ending. She is really a cheap slut. Even with the sudden reality of how she hurt her husband she can't stop. To bad.

I thought the story was very well written. I do not understand many of the comments, especially the ones calling for her death by slow torture. Sounds to me like the Taliban.

The story was very different from the usual 'wham bam thank you mam'. I would have liked more voyeur sex, however, that is probably my own preference coming out.

I am not altogether sure that there is a part 2 to this story. Our heroin seems to be locked into her addiction to sex the way that many men are.

From what you have written, I cannot believe that her husband could or would accept her life style and she seems incapable of changing. For the critics out there, women like her do exist. Perhaps it should be left where it is.

Of course not. She clearly has deeply neurotic tendencies and does not recognize them. With a little counseling, she can be led to stop her nymphomanial (is that a word) activity and turn back to her husband as a monogamus, loving wife. In a pig's eye! While a follow up story could be done, would it be any less plausible than this story and the woman's expression of love for her husband even as she cheats. Reasonably, no. But, just out of curiosity, I would love to see you write your way out of this and actually make us belive the ending you imply by stating we should not be hard on jenny.

getting a reconciliation. I don't know the answer. The wound is deep. And can Jenny turn her life around? The odds are against it. The odds of Jim being forgiving, superhumanly forgiving enough to want to live with Jenny again are very, very slight.

It amazes me how the violent screech at fiction. No wonder the world is nasty and a mess. It has little to do with this story, or any story, but with the---not righteous---but ignorant indignation. Jim is doing what he should do---just break it off. It hurts but violence is what adolescents and primitives do. The manly thing is to keep your dignity and go on with your own life.

The next installment will be interesting but it will be difficult to make a reconciliation believable.

If the author wants to do a reconciliation story it is still possible, but the event taking place at the end of the first chapter will be critical in the next. At the end of the first chapter Rolf is tempting her and undressing her, so she can still resist and Rolf can say he was just testing her resolve. I don't know I guess I'm a sucker for a happy ending and if the author wants to the couple to stay together I still see plenty of possibilities although it will be a lot of work. From reading the other stories from this author, I him to have talent and a pretty good imagination so I think he still has plenty of room to make this story go in any direction.

Rotten ending. Keep writing

That was just sex I gave them, but I give you my love. That's a crock. It's like this guy I know who played around on his girlfriend and she caught him and he said I give them my sperm, but I give you my love. She told him he was full of shit, and she gave him the boot. You write very well. Keep it going. With regards, Luis

Rolf and Jenny is "one of a kind" SOBs! This is a person that said he care for Jenny and want to help him without no funny business but in the end he doesn't care for Jenny at all because he trying to get her into bed. If Rolf really care he would tell her to choose between being a hooker or being committed to your husband, instead all he really care about in the end is himself when trying to get laid.

Jenny is no better, here is a person born being wealthy and choose to be a hooker because she want to not because she was force into it. The author statement show how stupid he is by saying not to be hard on Jenny, does she need to be a hooker to survive or is she force into this profession? So give me a break, she chose to cheat on her husband because she is selfish and doesn't care about her husband at all. The author need to have his head examine if he feel her husband is being to hard on her or we should feel sorry for her.

Well, what do I say?

A whole host of comments and even more than that in direct e-mails!

My rating above is for the comments, not for the story. Some of them were really incredibly perceptive. Some were a little less so.

The sequal and ending is on it's way. I do write quite quickly, so I sat up last night and penned it, when I should have been helping out the staff in the bar at my club. I submitted last night, so it should be there soon. My apologies for not pointing out that it was a two part story, but I wasn't sure if there was going to be a sequal, or if so, then how it would go.

I am of course a slave to my readers, and though I cannot have her cut up into pieces as more than one has suggested, I have tried to model the ending around the themes of many of the comments, both good for Jenny and not so.

Hope you'll like it, I did.

You are a very good writer and this story about the discovery of the Bank Statement is well done.

I think you are comparatively new to writing short stories, and though I have never written anything significant outside my scientific field, I can tell you what I feel. First, I'd like to read more dialog between husband and wife. From the start they didn't communication terribly much. Second, you need to write another part to the story. Continue it with the husband getting to enjoy dating other ladies and letting the wife know this is happening. RAG

Do authors here ever actually think about their stories?? Jenny had all this money tucked away in a bank account. Depending on what year it was and the exchange rate, it could be worth $$Millions USA (just for perspective). This isn't the first story here about a whore wife with a big bank account. She supposedly loves Jim SOOOOO MUCH. Do we ever hear about her LARGENESS with her loving hubbie? Do we ever hear in these stories about the hubbies ever seeing a cent of this money? I drove a cab in a big city nights for awhile, and whores would offer me $50 for taking up my time, after batting my baby blues at them (I'm just OK). Point is they could be very LARGE in their generosity. If she loved hubbie so much, and author used his brain and thought about how the real world worked, she'd have bought the one she supposedly loved, and deprived of her full time married pussy, a CASTLE with her "RAISES/BONUS MONEY FROM WORK/FOUND MONEY." At least she could now say: See, I love only you; you got all my money. Now, he should just take the money as his share of her married estate, his restitution for his lost marital rights, and her fraud; and thumb his nose at her.

I think it is a fine story. I do think it needs a proper ending though and it should go something like this.

Jim should "date" all of the girls from the escort service his wife works for for the next two and a half years but only once a week since he shouldn't overdo it. He of course should go to the same hotel bars that his wife goes to with her sexual partners. Then of course when she is devastated that he is fucking her workmates he can say that she shouldn't worry, "It was only sex honey, I love only you." Then we will see if her perspective remains the same.

The other thing that bothers me is that she ran to her favorite John and allowed him to "unbutton her blouse". WOW

I really do hope you write an ending. Good job author, you got the blood flowing in the readers and that is all that it is all about!

i like the ending. its like gone w/ the wind. there's a promise but that might not get realized.

You wrote Jenny as this free spirit who somehow loves Jim but only treated sex as fun. What got most readers upset with this character was the trivial way she treated her husband. As shown by the rape in part 2 who was she going go to when bad things happen on her job? In a way Jenny's marriage to Jim was one long date where she played being his wife. Then you have this whole virgin act she pulled on Jim to create the illusion that she was exclusively his woman. I have no problem with sex workers but there was no reason for Jenny to live this life of deception and betrayal. Once you built this character who cared more for her own pleasures (and she did nothing speacial for Jim) than anyone else what do you expect?

What kind of a monster did you turn loose on JIM? Have a bus run over her, or have her jump off a 100 story building!

If Jenny is so willing to do anything to get jim back she might have to sever her connections with her job and her stash of money she has stashed in the bank see if she is willing to go that far To get Jim back into her arms.lol

Pat

There is no marriage here. If someone wrote a story about how this guy got married to a nice gal, but oops forgot to tell her that he was actually an hired killer and would pop-out once a week to kill someone then hide the money.. no one on this site would think for a minute that the gal should stay with the guy. This story is no different. It has nothing to do with what she was doing... her deceat makes the marriage worthless.

Her husband is her cover story to keep from being evident as a full time prostitute. She is a perfect example wo why men cant trust women. She is my ommission and act a total and complete liar. Her whole marriage, everything she has ever said or done with husband is a lie. She does need to commit suicide and her husband needs to grow up and get over the adulterous slut he was married to.

is her own pain - sure Rolf got her to think about Jim for a second - and then she screws Rolf. Yes, she really understands the pain she has caused. You write so well, you get into your characters and you reveal clearly, that she thinks she love him, but is unwilling to stop what she knows cuts his heart and soul out. She even admitts she loves Rolf in a way. She is not dedicated to a partnership of love, she is partnered to her ego that gets off more as a whore than as a wife. In other words, you have described too well why this couple must separate. At least for a few more years she can make a living and maybe find time to branch out so that when she is not pretty enough, she can find other work since she will not have her husband to be her security blanket. Loves him? Not so far.

YOU put the husband with a whore and then you tell us in your note at the end not to be to hard on Jenny, I think your brains are in your ass!!!

with a ton of undeclared euros in the bank and the inland revenue around the corner. TK U MLJ LV NV

...at least, you didn't make poor Jim a willing cuckold. That, alone, got you a full point increase in rating, 1 star to 2 star.

Before I made my comment I saw that there is a chapter 2. Excellent. I withhold all thoughts till I check it out.

What a sad, romantic story. And well told, too.

But at the end of the day your lead female character in this story isn't a very good person and has few redeeming characteristics. It's hard to have any sympathy or good feelings for her. Time to get a divorce.

when you do the next part let me know

drts4fn@aol.com

keith

If she loves him HALF as much as she claims, she would KILL herself before going back to whoring.

That's all well and good, except for the fact that he LOVES her!

whats a bloke to do, TK U MLJ LV NV

Bwaaaa Haaaa Haaaa!! Funny. Very funny. A whore leading an unsuspecting man on. Suckering him into bed while dating. "Are you sure Jim. Please don't hurt me."

Not enough pain is due her.

This is a story of true love? (sarcasm). She is nothing but a simple whore who can't stop. She loves her husband so much that she is just going to have sex with the other guy. But wait, she will stop. (I bet). This husband has to drop her quickly and permanently without question. She is a whore who loves her work. Depressing story.

Once again I have to agree with @KarenE...If her love for him was so strong how could she go back to be a whore? I like very much your stories @Britease, but this on for now is only 2* due to the way she thinks...

5* because of the difference in definition of love and sex. some guys will have sex, at any time anywhere, all that's needed is a hole and a heart beat, some don't require a heart beat. then there's the difference between male and female definitions. some females have the same definition of sex and love as guys. normally these differences are discussed way before marriage, at least should be. good story, but kind of got the impression at the first encounter.

I guess Jim was so smitten by her when they first met that he didn't realize what she was. The readers did. I got so I completely skipped over his flashbacks. And, when she started to tell her story, I stopped reading. I knew before I started this that there was a second chapter, but I was just so tired of it. I assume they'll have some kind of reconciliation, but, in truth, I don't care how it ends.

What an asshole, even at the end when he makes her realize he still takes advantage of her. She's also a stupid slut - her husband just going to be ok with her being an escort?

I guess once a whore, always a whore, and Rolf was such a nice guy to comfort her 'sarcasm'

I guess once a whore, always a whore, and Rolf was such a nice guy to comfort her 'sarcasm'

and if she wont/don't shut up. he might. TK U MLJ LV NV

Reasons too personal, but close to home. I'm even a German American!

But she is a fucking whore.

Not a huge deal if she hadn't lied to Jim about it and let him go.

Instead she dupes a good man into the public toilet she calls a vagina.

I truly hope she is repayed for all her "faithfulness" and consideration for Jim.

I agree with silentsound

JIM IS GONE FOR GOOD. SHE NEEDS TO REALIZE HE CAN NEVER FORGIVE THE DECEPTION , EVEN BEFORE THEIR MARRIAGE. HOPE JIM CAN GET ON WITH LIFE AND FIND A TRUE LOVE, NOT A SELFISH BITCH.

no. Not going to be married to a hooker thank you very much. Especially not one who has lied to me from day one. Another five star story though.

the hooker goes to one of her johns for solace. If I ever am in the market for a wife or girlfriend again I'm going to have a discreet background check done.

Or whatever they call it in England.... Quivering, nervous "virgin" indeed! ;-)

As many others have pointed out, her job as a whore was evident from the get-go. Nobody could be as stupid or naive as Jim is portrayed. I know it's a story, but that stretches our suspension of disbelief to the breaking point.

Now on to part 2!

I thought it was well written and the characters well developed using few words. Then that ‘PS’ took it down a notch.

Honestly I picked up that Jenny was an escort during the scene where they met. The phone call sealed it. Based on the deposit sizes in her account, I don’t quite understand how Jim didn’t pick up on it. What doesn’t make sense, is Jenny not understanding how badly she hurt Jim. She deliberately lied about her career. She even mentioned something like ‘God forbid that Jim ever learn about repeat customers from before they met’ — so she understood that she was well out of bounds. Thinking she’s the injured party because Jim won’t talk to her, is beyond comprehension.

one little sentence

7 little words

fucked this story up for me

``dont`t be too hard on poor jenny``

what a crock of shit

a cheating escort?

now we will find that she was raped and give us some more stupid excuses

why? why? why? i am already crying for POOR jenny

sob sob sob

Wasted time reading this crock of shit, I think I'm gonna be sick

a 2 for the useless whore, not for the story. So she likes the excitement and adventure of fucking new men, well holy moly I bet most men would like that too. So why should she get the excitement that she would deny hubby?

But she's made a choice. She's a prostitute. Even calling her a call girl doesn't change the fact that she's regularly cheating on her husband. And while there may be a difference between sex and love, I think you won't find many husbands that agree with that statement. Especially if they're the husband and not the john. Don't see how you can end this without a divorce but I'll go read the next chapter.

will not read anymore of your stories , waste of my time

who cares about the dates? I like the main story and started skipping whole sections of dating