All Comments on 'The "Barbershop"'

Please continue this story. You've laid the groundwork for multiple scenarios.

great show of life in and around the workplace...5

-- This opening paragraph almost made me stop reading this story: "Years ago when I lost the kid that I had cut my hair to one of those Beauty parlor/tanning spa/ bikini waxing/head shop boutiques in L A, my now business partner Darrold, who was my friend at that time, recommended that I try his barber, Paula."

I had to reread that a few times to figure out what you meant! Something like this would have been clearer: "Years ago, the kid who used to cut my hair was hired by one of those beauty parlor/tanning salon/bikini wax boutiques in LA. My business partner, Darrold, recommended I try his barber, Paula."

-- I'm confused as to why this is in Loving Wives. Paula is married, but that had nothing to do with the story.

-- After cutting his hair for eighteen years she suddenly makes a move on him. Why? That wasn't really explained.

-- Who is this narrator? We know nothing about him except that he needs his hair cut on a regular basis.

-- I thought the characters were acting strangely. Then you mentioned that this story takes place in Florida. That explains it!

-- This story didn't end; it just ran out of steam. It seemed to end mid-sentence! Are we to assume more is to come?

Thanks for contributing. I enjoyed reading the sex scene (although any mention of ass-to-mouth always makes me gag.)

At least hopefully it is going to be a series?

The questions are: 1st - For how long did she and her friend have been using the back room of the resell-it second hand store for their little parties away from the husbands? He was client number "what" to be chosen by them? 2nd - If her husband was so bad, so worthless, wasn't she better divorced? 2*

I see a "PowerPoint Presentation" with Darrold's wife in Peters near future. I to could do with out the ATM part, but I liked it anyway.

Maybe, if this is a series, it MIGHT belong in LW. Agree with Swinging Joe that her being married is (very) incidental to what otherwise is Erotic Coupling.

Another quibble ... if his partner Darrold was her client long before Our Hero 'lost his kid' then why isn't Darrold her first 'after-hours' Close Shave? Our Hero noticed her camel-toe, but he doesn't wear yoga pants (plus, he has an apron on while getting clipped) for her to to discern that he is another ungulate (Donkey Dick!)

3*

Joe,

Thank you for your comment, I did go back and re-read the first paragraph and you're right.

Since this is a true story and I guess that I was so busy trying to write out the facts as they actually unfolded and so focused on sharing every detail that I didn't stop to think that my readers weren't right there with me. I apologize.

As far as the narrator, go back and read, The PowerPoint. It is the true account of what happened on a Colorado business trip that actually occurred three days prior to my experience with Paula, but while writing PowerPoint, I got inspired to write The "Barbershop" to give my readers a mix of true stories to go along with the fictional ones.

My first was Thy Neighbor's Wife, but I didn't bill it as true at the time I submitted it because I was apprehensive for some reason, however it produced such good reviews that I will be writing more true stories.

The reason The "Barbershop" was left open at the ending was because I knew at the time that I wrote it I would be going back. Since then I have had round two with both Paula and Megyn and I have very explicitly detailed my notes and I intend to turn them into yet another true storyline.

As far as the people of Florida I think what you meant to say was either California or Colorado.

Thanks again.

Regards,

Peter

Ass to mouth to pussy!!! Go to the Doctor!! Thanks for the read.

I AM A BARBER, STILL IN BUSINESS, OVER THE YEARS, I HAVE SAMPLE SOME OF THE "MILF", THAT COME TO MY SHOP. IN FACT, I GOT MISTRESS ,THAT WE HAVE BEEN LOVERS FOR 30 YEARS THIS YEAR.

GOOD STORY, I GIVE FIVE STARS.