All Comments on 'The Bastard'

does not fit-into LW

when he told "donkey dick" to get back into the gym and start taking dance lessons in response to his "what am I gonna do?" whine. I feel programmed to hate a serial seducer of married women, but I have to hand it to you, you really made this guy out to be quite likeable. I guess I liked that it was HARD for him to become this, and that he had a lot to overcome to be "successful" with the ladies. Way too many stories make the guy into an evil predator, who always has the best of luck, at all times, and woman just fall before his feet in appreciation of his assholishness, ready to completely change their personalities and magically become the willing sluts they never would or could be with their husbands. And then a guy like Stangstar has to come along and execute a perfect revenge, etc. etc. No, I wouldn't want, or envy this guy's life, but I think you achieved your goals in writing this story. Good job, and thanks for your work!

As I warned this is not a story for everybody and definately not for those who loved my previous story. All I ask is you remember it's just a story and no marriage was harmed by it.

I did have to laugh as I checked my recent activity and saw a number of readers making me a fav author only for them to read some of my other ones and be un-fav'ed in the same day. Probably within an hour.

Anyway I guess I'll just have to take my criticism but I will say I think it's a loving wives story.

Happy hunting

Charlie

Very nicely written and quite hot. I enjoyed it.

Personally I had trouble enjoying this due to the fact tht it was hard to like or identify with the main charrcter. Listen, a scumbag is always going to be a scumbag no matter how you dress him up. This was well written but not my cup of tea. I liked yesterdays story. This one? Not so much. Keep writing.

...it was a pretty good read.

Do I hear another story rumbling down the road with April's return from Italy?

I won't quibble about spelling and grammar, but you might look for some assistance in the proofing and editorial part of the job.

I suspect that very few of the BTB crowd are reading this. Your intro plus the title is enough to convince them. You write extremely well and show a lot of insight in the dialogue and in structuring the characters.

The need to identify with a character in a story in order to enjoy seems to suggest that people want everything centered on them!

Not what I'd normally read, but it's so well written and from such a fresh perspective, I feel compelled to say "Good job".

Definitely looking for stuff from you in the future.

But in this one, it really worked. Funny as hell, and so true on quite a few levels. I've met some disgruntled wives who "had it all", but the husbands wouldn't spend any time with them. So they started fooling around with guys who would pay them attention. The problem there is that they didn't communicate with their husbands that they were feeling that way, first. They just did it.

This was an outstanding Cautionary Tale. It illustrates that the problem in a lot of relationships is that NOBODY COMMUNICATES! Yes, I put that in all caps for a reason. Anyhow, I'm just damn glad my wife lets me know flat and cold whenever I'm fucking up. :)

5 Stars for this one. Good stuff, man.

@ID

You got it in one. The cautionary tale was what I was going for, and thanks for the comment.

@anon

I am wrestling with a follow up with April coming back to be a real loving wife, but I can't find the hook and the twist. Maybe

Thanks for the comments

Charlie

A fine story, well told.

Second: A wonderful "How To" advice chapter every man should read.

A "5" for sure.

to bad he never found a mate to love forever...

Our Hero is NOT going to find 'true love' and start a family! He is not looking anywhere that would be likely to produce such a relationship! Sometimes 'success' pre-empts development and progress! By the time THAT dawns on him, the best he may get (not terribly shabby) is a pre-made family (a widow or divorcée, with kids!)

It was an enjoyable read ... I think Our Hero is a bit hard on his self-assessment! He does not seem to be hurting anyone's relationship... perhaps improving most (although few Hubbies would be likely to agree IF they knew - but they don't because he and his partners are careful to avoid that!)

4*

but I would have found a way to keep fucking Julia (ha, ha). 5*

But every once in a while a good writer comes along. And you are he.

The siege, conquest & occupation of fair Julia's hindquarters rated an individual installment on it's own. The overall content was sterling, but this wasn't a cohesive story. I was gnashing my teeth in frustration as the talented author glossed over the seduction of some very enticing femininity at conclusion.

As a forum for some very worthy ideas on how to evolve as a dynamic person, the raw content was valuable but unrefined platinum ore . I enjoyed , however, April's character & her non-coddling approach to getting the narrator to step up his wicked game. Few young men couldn't benefit from her carnal mentoring.

Some very worthy concepts were given short shrift in the author's headlong rush to reach a conclusion. Yet I admire his nerve and fortitude in even attempting to cross the seeming chasm of ignorance & give the LW readership a clue why these issues are of some import. ***** for thinking & writing out of box in a metaphorical ( if not literal) sense.

It's good that Australian writers are now writing on lit keep up the good work

I have read all your titles and enjoy your style. I don't like some of your protagonists.

Jenny and James from the anniversary series, for example.But I do like that they

are interesting ,descriptive, enjoying the aussie slang too.

In The Bastard, your protagonist seems distant and unemotional. Maybe it was that

2nd person style. Was that a one-time thing or is it happening more often ?

Anyway, you have the gift and we all will enjoy seeing more of it.

AMerryMan

Great bit of writing few twists an turns but what a bloke! He found a nitch in the market so fair play to him. Thanks for the story . . .

Liked the writing, when the decision was to talk about married women I stopped, not enjoyable at that point. Scum is scum to me, don't mess with another's girl, even if they offer. I guess I'm to narrow minded, but I'm okay with that, good luck.

Woody

I hope you used "beer goggles"!

Loved it. None of the stupid degrading crap you see in the fetish cuckold gay male husband or interracial stuff. Keep writing. Great job.

Nicely done, the

let 'em think you're gay is a great idea. In general good philosophy, don't ask, don't tell!. As to the "Bastard" I think he was done about right, you've said he just wanted hookups, not a life partner, which makes him a bit of an odd ball, we would have said a play boy in the old days, but that said, he cares for the women, they know what they are getting into, so he's not so bad, really.

I liked that you made him just a bit below average in one area, but above average in others. And the dialog was well done.

Chilley

frothy fantasy. No one gets hurt and a good time is had by all.

There is no substance in any of his stories so far. Basic premises are all there but that ' Authors touch ' is non-existent. Ah,I got it, the talent is missing ! So, 1 star.

PS- Read SS06 and learn.

While I may not agree with the actions and life style, it works for him, at least for now.

I went back to the comments introducing the story and have a question and a quibble. As pointed out by your editor, there are differences in the English language as used by Australians and Americans. As well as Canadians, South Africans, etc. And there are also many different readers here on Lit. Why change the spelling or verbiage of your story to conform to one different from your own? The final product ends up as a hybrid, neither yours or someone else's. Why not leave the local colour in it?

Got to love a story where the little guy wins.

Thanks. tom anon

Keep with the words you are familiar with. As a citizen of the USA it is easy to tell if an author is attempting to sound like a "yank". I would suggest letting your reader believe you are a tourist or possibly immigrating. This woold be true about writing about any country, or locale, new or different to the protagonist. Personally, I have no problem looking online for definitions of words or phrases new to me.

One last point. I understand Ozzies, Brits most Euros (and some Canucks) use the term Yank to describe those from USA. That term in general is used for those North of the Mason-Dixie line. Southerners can be a tad touchy when called that...lol

I enjoy most of your stories and look forward to reading more.

Those that can, write.

Those that can't, read.

I READ

I quite enjoyed it, for the reasons given by various commentators, and it is a 4*. Dont usually like serial lothario's, but you humanized this character, and made us see the oher side of the story.

Bastard is about right for this guy. I would like to see a sequel called Dead Bastard.

He is a bastard and I would kill him if he ever came sniffing around my 60+ year old overweight wife (LOL), but really well told story, as usual. 5* and on to next chapter...

And then someone shot him 😂

That was very enjoyable. The sex and the character development balanced nicely.

Looking forward to the sequel. 5 stars.

OK, gave it a FIVE although the author is just one of a million who does not know the difference between "woman" and "women."

This guy's my hero!

Typically Australian. Loved it.