The Beverly Fuckbillies Ch. 01

WE FUCK... ITS WHAT WE DO!...

"Honey... snookums... why exactly is there a giant monster truck in the driveway? Hmmm?"

"That's just James' new monster truck. Eat some cereal."

"James' new monster truck? My son... who I love by the way... bought another monster truck?"

Yes. He wrecked the last one. You remember. Now eat."

"Honey bun... I DON'T WANT TO EAT FRIGGIN CHEERIOS WHEN THERE'S A GIANT MONSTER TRUCK IN MY FRIGGIN DRIVEWAY! OUR FRIGGIN SON LIVES NEXT FRIGGIN DOOR! WHY THE FRIGGIN HELL ISN'T THE FRIGGIN MONSTER TRUCK PARKED IN HIS FRIGGIN DRIVEWAY?"

"CAUSE I TOLD HIM HE COULD! NOW SHUT THE FUCK UP! SIT DOWN! AND EAT YOUR DAMN CHEERIOS ASSHOLE!" My mama (Kathie Lee Gifford) is a boss. She puts my dad (Dr Evil From The Austin Powers Movies) in line, real quick. Dad sits down, nervously looking around, scared of mom. He obeys mama and starts eating his cereal. Dad may be an evil mastermind out in the world... but at home, he's mama's bitch. (Laughing)

...

Over at my fuckbilly fuck pad...

"Lick it bitch." My sister Jenni tells her close friend Snooki to lick her strapon while she films me fuckin that big titty skank, doggy style, on my bed. I slap her fuckin ass and pound her out good. Snooki licks Jenni's big ass, flesh colored strapon, moaning so damn loud from my fat dick pickle tickling her slutty, bald pussy. God damn, she's got a nice pussy. So damn smooth and wet and warm. I slap her curvilicious, phat ass again.

"UHHHH!! I LOVE YOUR DICK, JAMES!! AHHHHH!!" Snooki screams. I slap her ass again and again and again, pulling her long, dark mane, watching her big hanging titties jiggle, as I pussy plow her. Jenni blows me a sweet sister kiss. I stick my tongue out and wiggle it at her super fine ass. She hands me the camera and comes over, kissing me, her arms wrapped around my neck. God, I love my sister... all of em.

Jenni sucks my tongue off, blowing it like a cock. My fat dick keeps drilling Snooki deep. "AHHHHHHHHH!! I'M CUMMINGGGGGGGGGG!!" Snooki screams out. She loves to fuckin scream. Her phat cunt shoots out the pussy cream, pelting my cock and me.

I start pissin in Snooki's well plowed pussy. Of course, she screams. "AHHHHHHHHHHHH!! HE'S PISSING IN ME JENNI!! AHHHHHHHH!! OH MY GOD... I LOVE IT!! UHHHHHHHH!!" Snooki bites her lips, loving the warm rush of urine inside her over stuffed cunt. I pull out and keep pissin. The piss from Snooki's cunt blasts out, splattering me, Jenni, the bed, the floor and even the wall behind me. Snooki farts, causing all three of us to laugh. I piss all over her soaked pussy and fartin ass. Snooki looks back at me and keeps screaming in freaky, wet pleasure.

"YESSSSSSSSSSSS!! PISS PISS PISSSSSSSSSS!! AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" I slam back up Snooki's cunt, with Jenni still sucking my tongue and pound the fuck outta Snooki, stilling pissin in her.

Snooki squirts again, her cum mixing with my surge of piss. The second I finish pissing, I cum, pumping my thick sperm into my sister's dear, sexy and slutty, screaming friend. Snooki screams in orgasmic delight. "AHHH AHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHH!! UHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

Jenni pulls my still cumming cock out of Snooki's totally drenched pussy and bends over, sucking it in. Jenni sucks hard on my fat crown, licking quickly on the sensitive underside. OH FUCK YEAHHHHHHHH!! My gorgeous sister sucks me dry, swallowing a mouthful of my super sperm, then softly chewing on my cock. I love that shit. She licks every fat inch of my cock, up and down. Jenni gives it a big fuckin kiss, then smiles up at me, rubbing her naked belly. She's pregnant with my baby. We kiss, as I roughly play with those huge, enhanced titties of hers, squeezing em like crazy. Her milk dribbles out through my fingers.

Snooki farts again. Jenni and I laugh into each other's mouths. Snooki laughs too, as she turns around and licks Jenni's milk from my fingers, then joins in on the kiss. I fart and even Jenni does too. It's a fartin and kissin spectacular in my bedroom. Hell yeah!

As Jenni and Snooki sixty nine, I watch for a minute, dip my dick in Jenni's mouth again... then head off to shower.

When I get in the bathroom, I see one of girls... I got a lot of em... WWE Raw Women's Champ The Man Becky Lynch getting out of the shower, with a towel wrapped around her. "Hey there handsome." Becky greets me in her thick Irish accent. She kisses me, her arms around my neck. I squeeze her super firm ass, through the towel, then run my hands under the towel and smack her ass, squeezing it and shaking it. Becky's got a great ass, small, but tight and firm, and so fun to squeeze.

I pull her towel off and pick her up, taking her back in the shower with me. We fuck and suck in the shower. She blows me, I eat her pussy... we both cum. She rides me, as we kiss. I bend her over and fuck her absolutely gorgeous ass, doggy style, as the water beats down on her bright red/orange hair and face. I piss in her ass, pull out, then piss in her pussy.

Becky cums and cums. I finally cum all over her sweet little, perky tits and bright pink, hard as steel nipples. Becky licks it all up, as I watch, then drinks down a load of my piss, before we shower and get all sudsy. I fucking love fucking her hot Irish ass. She even poses for a few pics, after I turn the water off, with my pissing cock in her mouth. She posts em on her Twitter, with the hash tag, #PISSINGTHEDAYAWAY. My girl.

...

"Mama... I need to ask you something." My youngest sister Chanel (Chanel West Coast) asks mama, as she walks into the kitchen.

"What is it baby?" Mama replies, cleaning the marble counter.

Do you think James will get me pregnant if I ask him too?" Chanel asks, jumping up on the counter. My dad spits out his cereal, shocked by Chanel's question.

"Look at the mess you made." Mama fusses at my dad.

"I'm sorry dear. What kind of a question is that Chanel?" Dad asks my baby sister. "I mean really... my son... once again, who I love." Dad looks at mama, knowing how much she loves me and how close we are. "My son has already knocked up... (Dad uses air quotation marks)... his sister Jenni, and numerous other family members. Why do you want to get pregnant by your brother? Hmmm? It's so not Beverly Hills, my dear Chanel. Although it is vaguely evil... hmmm... never mind that. It's just not right, sweetheart. OK?" Dad gives Chanel a loving, fatherly look... not evil at all.

"Cause he's so hot... and I love him. Like you said... he already knocked up Jenni." Chanel says, with a pouty look. I love Chanel. She's my baby sister and a sweetheart. She's fucking hot as hell too. I'm very protective of my sisters... mama too.

"It's OK sweetie. I'll ask him for you." Mama tells Chanel, kissing her cheek. My dad holds his hands up in disbelief.

"Am I talking to my friggin self here? I'm an evil friggin mastermind here. Cut me some friggin slack." Dad shakes his head, in a kind of evil way, then gets up and storms out.

"Don't worry about him baby. He's an idiot. I'll talk to James for you honey." Mama smiles her sweet, mama smile at Chanel.

"Aww... Thank you mama." Chanel hops down off the counter and hugs mama. My mama is the best. She's always taking care of her children. She's the sweetest mama there is. God, she's hot too. How in the world did dad ever get her? (Laughing)

...

"FUCK HER BABE! YEAHHHHH!" One of my wives Kim Kardashian is cheering me on, in the backyard, as I doggy fuck the one and only Betty freaking White. It's for my Granny Bangers porn series. Yeah, I make porn. Hardcore redneck porn. I slap that old ass and piledrive the fuck out of her surprisingly still tight pussy. Damn, her old pussy feels good gripping my huge ass dick.

"You like it bitch?" I ask Betty.

"Hell yeah. Fuck my pussy bitch!" I smile my ass off. I love Betty White. We smoke and fuck regularly. She's my next door neighbor, on my right side. My parents live to my left. Betty is a cum whore too. She can't get enough of my thick seed. I fuck her for free. I never charge her, cause she's a sweetheart. She bakes me cookies too.

My hips slam into Betty's old, white, still smooth ass, my huge cock plunging so deep in and out of her rather youthful cunt. Betty even booty shakes on my dick, working my cock with her pussy like a world class twerker.

I reach under her and roughly squeeze her only slightly saggy tits. They are so freaking soft. God, they feel good in my hands.

"Give it to me baby. Work that pussy bitch!" Betty eggs me on. I slam bang her old, still slick cunt, slapping her ass, squeezing it, pounding the flying fuck outta her cunt. Betty squirts all over me. I pull out and lean over, sucking her pussy cum down, as she squirts it out. I love the slightly musty flavor.

I slam back up her old, bushy cunt and plow it for another ten minutes. I pull out and stand up, when I have to cum, turning Betty's head to my cock. She immediately sucks my entire fucking cock down her throat. The whole thing in one gulp... no gagging. I really dig this broad. Betty tickles my huge, throbbing balls, as I cum hard in her mouth, blasting my thick ropes of sperm against the back of her throat, as Betty pulls off some, and down that throat, when she deepthroats me again. Betty sucks out every thick, extra creamy drop and smacks her cum glazed lips, licking them too, as she pulls off of my happy cock. I smack my dick on her wet lips, as Betty looks into the camera.

"I'm Betty White bitch! And I just got Granny Banged. Swagg Pimpin motherfuckers!" Betty is fucking awesome.

Kim comes over and kneels down, sucking my cock to make sure there was no more cum. She and Betty kiss wickedly, putting on a show for me, as I take the camera from Kim.

"Mmmmmmmm. My man has the most yummiest cum ever." Kim always making me smile. My baby is the perfect woman and the sexiest piece of ass there is.

"He sure does. Makes me wanna fuck his brains out, just to get some more. A girls gotta eat... and I'm Betty Fucking White BITCHES!! Swagg Pimpin 24/7 in this bizzle my nizzle." Betty Fucking White being Betty Fucking White... nuff said, motherfuckers!

...

My cousin Ellsworth (Former WWE Superstar James Ellsworth) is a new hire for me and my crew. He had some legal trouble, so my aunt... my favorite aunt... Patty (Patricia Heaton) convinced me to hire him. She knows I'll do anything for her. She also let me fuck her tight ass for a couple of hours... and piss in it... to convince me. She's my favorite aunt for a reason. Patty has me wrapped around her little finger, but she's so sweet, she doesn't abuse that. I've gotten her pregnant twice. She didn't have the kids though. She thought it would be too awkward, at the time.

Anyway, Ellsworth just moved in with us. I have him rooming with our cousin Spence (Spence From The King Of Queens), down in the basement.

My drug buddy Alia Janine hangs out with em down there. I think they fuck her, but I'm not sure. Spence and Ellsworth both are pretty awkward with chicks.

Kim goes downstairs to check on em. I want Spence to film a scene for Granny Bangers with another neighbor.

Kim walks up to Spence and Ellsworth's door and sees smoke billowing out. She opens it and waves the air around her, so she can see. The guys and Alia are sitting on the floor going to town on a bong. We do smoke a lot of weed around my house. It's what we do... besides fuck.

Kim coughs from all the smoke, still fanning the air. "Spence... (Kim coughs)... James wants you to film the scene with Gladys." She says, all the smoke making her cough... and getting her high.

"Oh... OK Kim. Wanna hit the bong?" Spence asks. Kim doesn't really want to, but all the smoke she's taking in is already making her high, so she changes her mind.

"OK. Might as well." Kim sits between Spence and Ellsworth. Alia is opposite her. Spence hands Kim the bong and lights it. Kim walraps her luscious lips around it, breathing in deep. "Thanks." You guys are pretty laid back down here, aren't you?" Kim asks, getting a little light headed from the smoke.

"Yeah... we try to relax. Smoke a little. Fuck a lot." Spence brags. Alia laughs, but doesn't disagree with him.

"Oh really?" Kim asks, inquisitively.

"Yeah... I throw em a freebie here and there. A pity fuck." Alia says, laughin, hittin the bong. "Besides, they both have nice cocks. Plus I'm high all the time anyway." Alia keeps smoking.

"Oh yeah? Who's bigger?" Kim asks, the reefer really working on her.

"I am." Spence brags again. Then he hits the bong.

"You're longer, but I'm thicker." Ellsworth chimes in, giving Kim a goofy smile.

"Oh yeah... prove it. Whip em out boys." Kim says, laughing. She's officially high. She and Alia cheer.

Alia and Kim chant, "WHIP EM OUT!! ... WHIP EM OUT!!"

Spence shrugs his shoulders and unzips his beige khakis, pulling out his cock. Ellsworth copies him, determined to not be outshined by his cousin. They sit across from each other, staring each other down like two gunslingers from the old west.

Kim looks over both cocks, hittin the bong again. She coughs again, having taken too big of a toke on it. "Wow... two big cocks. It must run in the family." Kim remarks, high and getting turned on at the same time.

Spence's cock is nine inches and really thick. Ellsworth's is seven and a half inches, but even thicker than Spence's and uncircumsized. Alia licks her lips. Kim starts to think naughty thoughts about my nerdy cousins.

"They're both so big and thick. God... I love big cocks." Kim looks both big dicks over. Her nipples in her pink bikini top are ready on cut through the thin material.

"Do you take them both in your pussy at the same time Alia?" Kim asks, rubbing her legs together. She's wearing skin tight, hip hugger jeans... no panties.

"I did once. It was great, but my poor little pussy got so sore." Alia giggles, hittin the bong once again.

"Why don't you and Ellsworth fuck Alia while I watch and film it Spence?" Kim suggests.

"Can we fuck you afterwards?" Spence gets very bold.

"Just fuck Alia, Spence. Do you think James would appreciate you asking me that?" Kim throws cold water on his junk... figuratively.

"Oh. Sorry. I didn't mean to cross a line or anything. I'm sorry Kim." Spence apologizes quickly.

"It's OK Spence. Just fuck Alia while I film it." Kim points her camera at Alia. She pulls up her white tank top and white sports bra, showing off one of the most awesome pairs of tits ever. All natural and so fucking beautiful 34G melons.

Spence and Ellsworth attack Alia's huge, heaving tits, sucking them ravenously. They gorge themselves on a breast and rub her well used pussy. Alia squirms and moans happily, loving the double titty suck.

They fuck Alia hard and fast, double banging her holes, as she sits on Ellsworth. He gets her twat and Spence gets her ass. Ellsworth sucks like a hungry baby on Alia's insanely perfect 34G melons, as they sway from Spence's hardcore ass banging. Alia squirts on Ellsworth's super fat dick, taking Spence's big one up her tight, soft booty with relative ease.

Kim films everything, enjoying watching Alia get double dicked. Spence slides out of Alia's ass, the slowly slides in her pussy with Ellsworth. Double vaginal. Alia moans and breathes heavily, as the two fat dicks see saw up her ridiculously overstuffed vagina. She squirts again, but her pussy is so full of fat cock it just oozes around them.

Kim is very turned in by the double vaginal. She films it, still smoking, already high. A combined aroma of smoke and fucking fills the room. Everybody's smilin, fuckin and filmin.

"HOLY FUCK!! THESE TWO BIG DICKS FEEL SO FUCKING GOOD IN MY LITTLE PUSSYYYYYYY!! FUCKKKKKKKKKKKK!!" Alia screams out cumming again.

"You gotta try this Kim. MMMMMMMMMMMMMM!! Alia tells Kim, her face scrunched up in cumming heaven.

Ellsworth is molesting her huge, natural titties with his hungry mouth and he and Spence are molesting her super fucking duper soaked cunt with their fat dicks. Alia cums again, her cream slowly oozing all over those two big dicks wrecking her very experienced, very stretched out pussy.

Ellsworth grunts and makes his stupid cum face, as he cums in Alia's pussy, followed by Spence. Their thick jizz overflows Alia's overstuffed twat. Spence pulls out, causing Alia to loudly whimper. His and Ellsworth's combined cum explode out of Alia's beautifully abused snatch, drenching the carpet.

"UHHHHHHHHH... OH MY FUCKING GODDDDDDDDDD!!" Alia looks back at the mess coming from her twat and squirts again, her cream blasting out all over Spence and the flooded carpet.

Kim is so turned on by the sight, she hands Spence the camera and leans over, sucking on Alia's cumming pussy, drinking down her sweet squirt... And the remnants of Spence and Ellsworth's cum that was left in that gaped hole. Kim's tongue wanders up Alia's pussy, scooping out all the cum, as she sucks on Alia's throbbing labia and pussy. Alia moans hysterically, biting her bottom lip, grinding her cumming cunt on Kim's cum sucking mouth.

Spence films it and he and Ellsworth high five. Both have goofy grins on their happy faces, loving the show and coming down from the great double fuck of the gorgeous Alia.

Kim licks her lips when she finishes sucking and licking out Alia. "Mmmmmmm. Very nice. So much yummy cumming." Kim remarks, causing everyone else to smile even bigger. Kim spots Spence's fat, cum glazed dick beside her face and licks the plump crown, lapping up the cum glaze covering it. Spence groans, shaking in pleasure. Kim giggles and sucks his fat head, making sure to suck out every drop of jizz in him. She does the same for Ellsworth, pulling his cock from under Alia's pussy, then sucking it halfway down and back up, sucking had on the fat head to get all of the jizz out.

"God... You guys have great cum. All three of you. Kim kisses Alia softly, fondling her huge jugs. She strokes both fat dicks, as she sucks on Alia's phat titties. Weed smoke and cum smells overpowering all three.

"We need to do this again some time." Kim tells everyone.

"Yeah, but you need to be the meat in the dick sandwich next time." Spence chimes in.

"Play your cards right and... I might be." Kim says. All four laugh. "We don't need to tell James about this though Spence. It'll be our little secret. OK?" Kim asks, leaning down to suck on Spence's cock again. Feeling Kim's super talented mouth on his cock drives Spence crazy. He grins his biggest, goofiest grin.

"YESSSSSSS!! Sure thing Kim. Our secret. Don't worry." Spence tells her, grinning his chubby ass off.

Kim raises her head. "You should be worried. James will kick your ass... and then get Snitzky (One of my bodyguards, Former WWE Superstar Snitzky) to fuck it." Kim giggles, then sucks his cock once more. Spence's face turns white. He's scared of me kicking his ass... and also fo Snitzky fucking it.

"Hey heyyyyyyy. Wait a minute. I... Um..." Spence pulls back from Kim's mouth. "Maybe... Maybe we should ummmmm..." Spence nervously babbles. Kim and Alia laugh. Ellsworth begins to wonder if he would get the same fate, so he starts to get a very worried look oh his comically goofy ass face.

"Yeah... Ummmm..." Ellsworth climbs out from under Alia and quickly puts his cock away, running out of the room. Spence shakes in fear. Kim just laughs at Alia. She loves busting Spence and Ellsworth's fat balls.

Stay tuned for episode 02. Will I get Chanel pregnant? I think we all know the answer to that one. Will I bet the shit out of Spence and Ellsworth? Will Snitzky fuck the shit out of them? What new fucked up redneck adventures will we get into?... And will Betty Fucking White return to fuck some more? Stay tuned... same Bat time... same Bat channel...