The Billy Goat Hill Pundits Ch. 02

All in all, they could not have created a better ad campaign preceding the release of The Human Condition, singles from which began playing on the air and digitally a week later.

Like the rest of the country, the folks back home in the Brush Country watched GMA, and the younger adults and teenagers had YouTube accounts. More kids were on Instagram, more adults on Facebook, and portions of their performance, professionally captured by the videographer, were available to 'followers' and 'friends' of the band.

Woody received scores of texts and calls over the next few weeks from their hometown. No one knew Will's new number, but they knew who the main characters in his songs were, and conveyed their emotional responses to Woody. They also began conveying their disgust to those exposed by the songs, to the great chagrin of the 'upper crust' of the community, which was used to worship, or, at worst, passive respect.

Their initial appearance after release of the first singles was at Maggie Mae's, and this time you had to be there two hours before the show to have any chance of getting a seat. They played for two hours to an enthusiastic SRO crowd, taking only two fifteen minute breaks, and God only knows how many social media postings occurred during and after the show.

They awoke to "trending" status, and the social media accounts they knew nothing about were swamped with "Friend" and "Follow" requests. That "they" responded to many if not most, and posted new candid pictures and video snippets of themselves, individually, in pairs, in small groups, and in whole, would have been a surprise, had they known.

Their followers and friends skyrocketed, all while they were busy practicing the songs for their second album or polishing their show for various-sized venues.

Barry's tech team was good! Now it was time to go live around town to refine the show, while Barry put together their first tour. They needed new equipment for some of the larger venues they were likely to play, but they needed money to buy it, so they were willing to do whatever made money and let them polish the show - hopefully, for the upcoming tour.

The next gig he got the band was at the historic Scoot Inn on E 4^th, an outdoor venue with a much greater capacity than Maggie Mae's, but not too big. They set up early, and the venue had a security man keeping the stage clear until they were ready to play.

It was Friday and the 'Horn's had a home game the next night, so the town was filled with people, and so was The Scoot Inn. It was the first cool night of fall, with a light breeze, but the DJ had done a good job of warming the crowd up, and the two bars ensured they were well lubricated by the time the band took the stage at 8:30.

The stage was about two feet high and cozy, with people crowded up to the stage.

Woody did the introductions, talked each about band member, and told how the band came into being, beginning on that tailgate under the full moon when Will realized his marriage was over and he was out of options in their hometown.

The crowd shouted and clapped their approval, roared with laughter at Lina being abducted by the tequila-drunk Will, and applauded loudly after Woody described Lila's metamorphosis, her vocal capabilities, and her compatibility with Lina, Will, and himself, regardless of song.

Danny and Gary would be featured on solos during the show, but Woody gave them a chance to lead the others in a jam session as a warmup. That lasted over five minutes, and included blues rifts, jazz, classical, and bluegrass, with the girls and Gary switching instruments as called for. It was very well received.

Woody then stepped back to the mic and warned the audience, "The songs in the first part of our show are directly off our new album, The Human Condition. Will wanted to name it 'The Dregs of Mankind', which may be accurate but our manager tells us that would be off-putting to buyers.

"Before we start, fair warning: it's about to get a bit intense up here during the first set! Please listen beyond the music to the lyrics, which might hit home for some of you... maybe most of you, on one song or another.

"Before you all flee after the first set, the songs of second and third sets are much lighter, and you'll get to hear some music written by our band members, who wrote ever song on this album but the two classics you'll immediately recognize. A number of these are candidates for our next album, or maybe albums.

"Remember - the first set is a collection of stories about real people. Get as angry as you want at the perpetrators, but don't hate the messengers."

Wood and Will laid it out with "The Plutocracy" (rule of the rich). They were joined by the twins for 'L.E.O', and then Will sang 'The Scales of Justice'. The Austin crowd was riled up after the first song, and irate after the third.

'Holier than Thou' by the girls brought spirits back up, only to be dismayed by 'Cheating Sluts' and 'Daddy, We Miss You!'

Your 'Cheating Heart' and 'Ring of Fire' provided an emotional break and sing-a-long opportunity for the audience, and they did.

The satire of 'I'll Never Lie to You' wasn't missed by anyone in the crowd, and neither was the expert seduction of the loving wife in 'The Meaning of No'.

The mood was again lightened by 'I Wanta' and 'I Got Everything!' only to have Lila/Lina issue warnings about 'Mommy's Boyfriend', 'Hebeos and Pedos', and 'Falling Down Stairs and Running Into Doors'.

When Will finished 'Happy Now?' everybody in the building was ready for a break and an alcoholic beverage or three. Animated discussion in and among groups ensued, and developed with the band members when they came off stage.

Most conversations with the band members were congratulatory, but many were affirmations that he/she/they had suffered similarly in the ways of one or more songs.

The second set was very different, debuting tales and songs being considered for the second album, but included more songs about romance and less about tragedy. The music was more up-tempo and featured a variety of instruments, as arranged by Gary and Lina.

The third set included a number of covers, from George Strait and Garth Brooks to Johnny Cash, Willie, and Waylon, and from Lynrd Skynard and the Allman Brothers to AC/DC and the Rolling Stones. The entire crowd danced, jumped, screamed, and enjoyed the rest of the show, demanding encore after encore before the Pundits could leave. Lina and Will gave them 'Strawberry Wine' for the first encore, Woody, Lina, and Lila sang 'Fields of Gold' for the second, and the four sang 'When the Sun's Going Down over Choke Canyon Lake' (I'll be going down on you) to each other.

The crowd liked that so much they wanted another, but that really was the last song, though they stayed and circulated.

The next day they learned there had been thousands of videos posted on social media. The posts were well distributed among the three sets, but the songs from the album generated more comment and were shared more often.

The #BGHPundits were digital stars, and barely knew what that ways!

Barry informed them they needed to take an hour tomorrow night to interact with fans live on their website, to which they replied, "What website?" They did break off early that day, to clean up and change into more appropriate clothing than they wore in the practice hall. No one wanted to do it, expecting the kind of slanted or plain stupid questions they usually encountered in interviews, but it turned out their fans were both intelligent and knowledgeable about their music, and it became a labor of love.

Will, Lila, and Lina couldn't admit personal experiences were behind the lyrics, but they refused to state that they weren't. It was a tightrope to walk, but Will led the way and the girls followed. Woody just told them none of the calamities were his, and let that suffice; Gary and Danny's questions were about the music, not the lyrics, so they had the most fun.

They stayed live for more than 90 minutes before begging off to go eat supper, and social media had only good things to say about their interactions.

Barry got them a Saturday concert/dance at Mavericks in Buda after the scheduled band broke up two weeks before the show. Mavericks was two stories, large and loud, and filled with shit kickers of both genders. The Pundits questioned how the songs from their concept album would be received, but it turned out cowboys and cowgirls face the same issues as UT students, Yuppies, and Austin "liberals," or faced them as children and teens.

If anything, the hats and boots crowd was more obviously agitated about the prerogatives assumed by the privileged few, corruption in government and the judiciary, cheaters and liars, and lying cheaters who take everything from the innocent.

It also appeared that they HATE child abusers of any ilk, given the extraordinary generosity of donations to the SAFE Alliance and the Family Crisis Center. Having tables set up at which you could make donations to charities was Lina's idea, so, after they finished the first set, she got the job of directing attention to each charity and explaining its mission.

She got heartfelt hugs from the representatives of the charities after the show.

The bartender sent a tray of beer to the stage as soon as the set ended, and the members dispersed to talk to the strangers, fans, and friends surrounding them. Will barely made it into the crowd before being grabbed from behind, gathered into a bear hug, and lifted off the floor. "Guess who?" a deep voice boomed, and Will squeaked, "Let me down, Timbo, you brute!"

He was set on the ground, only to be assaulted from the front by a large-breasted, good smelling, dark-haired honey named Sierra. They laughed and talked for a few minutes, he learned that others from home were here, and they agreed to meet up after the final set, if anyone was sober enough to do so.

"You fuckers always did make me want to drink, but it used to be because we were having so much fun," Sierra told him over the din, "but tonight it's because that story is just so damn sad! I wanna kill your damn ex and the asshole she took up with, so we can rescue your children!"

"Those songs are not necessarily about my children," Will cautioned. "Lina and Lila wrote two of those, based on their experiences, and Danny co-authored one with me. But I have reason to believe there are serious issues with my children, more in the realm of neglect and lack of love than molestation or physical abuse, but my understanding is that my daughter is becoming more withdrawn and sickly by the week, which someone needs to look into. I can't, with the court orders and all, but I'm close to hiring someone."

"Give us a week, and we'll do our best to find out!" Sierra promised. "If we can't, hire someone! They can't get away with harming those children, on top of everything else they've messed up!"

The second set was extremely well received. They had completed some of their songs and tightened others up, and the lighter, up-tempo music had people laughing, dancing, and trying to sing along. There were a few more 'concept songs', and the songs that garnered the greatest response were 'High Flyers', about selfish, jet-setting parents who neglect their young son and daughter, and 'Screwed, Blued, and Tattooed', which Woody called "Will's story."

The eclectic third set ended with 'Strawberry Wine', 'Fields of Gold', 'When the Sun Goes Down over Choke Canyon Lake', and, for the first time, they closed with 'I Love You So Fuckin' Much I Could Shit!'

The reunion with their homies was delayed by the encores demanded, but it did take place an hour after the show, at a B & B near Driftwood. About a six pack each in, Woody sent a text to Barry demanding they play the Country Fair and Hog Cookin' at their home town the second weekend in April. Just after three am, Barry spoke on the phone with the woman in charge of the big dance - Sierra - and they agreed on a fair price for the band's appearance - $0, but plenty of beer and barbequed hog.

Hangovers treated and kinks from sleeping on couches and rugs stretched out, they made it to their reservations at Salt Lick at 2:30 pm. They overate, hugged, kissed, and parted like old friends do, with promises and pledges. Then the band went back to work.

They were getting so much airplay and comment about the first album they began to worry the songs would lose their profound effect on the audience. Woody decided her wanted to release their second album just before Christmas, so they doubled down on work and practice.

Congruently, Barry wanted them out and about, and so their lives became an endless cycle of practice, refine, practice, refine and travel to shows around Texas. They were warmly received in Fort Worth, but not so warmly in Dallas. The shows in the Houston area were SRO, and tickets for the two near San Antonio sold out within minutes of going online.

It was fun, exciting, demanding, and stressful. Lila and Will worked their stress out with each other, Lina with her toys, and the three other men with whomever they chose from among the many willing. None of them could understand Lina's refusal to choose among the legion that pursued her, but she seemed happy, so they let it be.

Meanwhile, the money was rolling in, and after Sierra and friends struck out on their attempted inquiries about his children, Will spent a chunk of his earnings on the very best investigators he could find that could blend in down home, and they began their work while Will wrote, practiced, played, sung, and did interviews... after interviews, after interviews.

By now, everyone in Texas and the part of the nation that watched TV or engaged in social media, knew their names and stories, but their fame lingered well past the designated fifteen minutes.

Most were puff pieces, rehashing what was already know, but a few reports dug into the societal and political workings of Cowtown, and drew parallels that Woody and Will would neither confirm nor deny. Because they were short segments, they got away with their equivocation by disclosing insider information about the songs in their next album, so something similar.

The surprise came when Woody and Willy were set up with the host of a podcast with over a million subscribers nationwide. Neither had ever heard of "Cheaters: The Rest of the Story!" much less seen one of the podcasts, but Barry's assistant set them up for 30 minutes at their 'practice shack', so...

They introduced themselves to the young, vivacious female host and sat where directed, facing one of three cameras and the host. After a very few minutes, it was obvious to them and the band members watching that this was not going to be a fluff piece, and they weren't going to get away with sluffing her off, offering banalities, or providing tidbits about the next album.

She had documents: Will's divorce decree, the restraining order, and the termination notice he got from his ex-father-in-law. She asked tough questions. Did he cheat? Did he beat his wife and children? Why was he arrested? Why would the social worker testify she found evidence of abuse and the judge grant these orders if he hadn't been abusive?

At first he planned to welch, but it was clear she had the goods, so he let her have it. "Hell no I didn't cheat! You nor anyone else can produce evidence I cheated, because I DID NOT, EVER!

"The allegations that I hit or abused my children or my wife IN ANY WAY, physically or emotionally, are ludicrous! You won't find anyone who will say they saw me hit my kids or wife, or heard for a reliable source that I had, nor will you find evidence in doctors' or hospital records! Why? BECAUSE IT NEVER HAPPENED!

"As to why the judge ruled as he did, in favor of my wife and her lover, you need to ask the judge - the uncle of her lover! The social worker is Sara's cousin. While I'm sure that had nothing to do with her report, you might want to ask about their relationship, and their families' relationships!"

The host smiled and retorted, "I did! I did all those things! I also asked forty-seven randomly selected local citizens about your character, and about whether they believed you beat your children or wife. Twenty-two wouldn't answer unless I guaranteed anonymity, but when I guaranteed they would remain anonymous, they unanimously agreed with the twenty-five who went on the record right away.

"I won't read all forty-seven responses, but the summary of their responses is not no, but hell no! In fact, most said you appeared to be the kids' primary caregiver and favorite parent, and that her parents felt the same way.

"Strangely, none of the forty-seven had anything good to say about your ex-wife Sara or her paramour Donny Smitherman. Most liked your former father-in-law, but believed that he demoted you only because his daughter threatened to keep her children - his grandchildren - from seeing her parents if he did not. They also had but bad things to say about the judge, the sheriff, or the social worker.

"I tried to speak to the sheriff, the judge, and the social worker, but none would agree to an interview, or even give me a written statement.

"So, Mr. Willian Andrew Callaghan, it appears to this blogger that a number of the songs on the #BGH Pundits first album are autobiographical. Am I correct?

Will, still bubbling with anger, was about to shout "HELL YES THEY ARE!" but Woody intervened. "Ms. Daniels, I believe we will let your research speak for us in this matter, and let you and your viewers draw their own conclusions."

She smirked, but gave him the stink eye when he wouldn't let Will answer her next questions, regarding the songs on the album about child abuse and molestation. Woody smiled back, repeatedly stated that not all songs on the album were written by Will, and that every band members contributed to the examination of 'The Human Condition' they explored on the album.

When queried about a song on their next album about the welfare of children raised by parents with other priorities, he shrugged and told her they would also leave that conclusion to her and her viewers.

She then dug into the lyrics of 'The Scales of Justice' and 'L.E.O.', and disclosed what she had been told in interviews about the judge and sheriff by citizens of Cowtown. It was not complimentary, and dovetailed perfectly with the lyrics.

Will didn't know whether to crow or be afraid, but it was clear their meager protestations and fine-line walking were going to be inadequate from now on, assuming anyone actually watched the podcast.

They did; in fact, her subscriptions almost doubled during the week the interview was posted, and the plutocrats of Cowtown felt the heat rising.

****

The final chapter will be released a week after this is published.