The Birds and the Bees Pt. 01

"So, how are things with the your girlfriend?"

"More or less the same."

"Really? No changes now that you've moved in together?"

"Changes?"

"I think you know what I'm talking about, son."

"Oh! Ha! Um... I mean... not really. No. Pretty much."

"Pretty much? You two are having sex, aren't you?"

"Dad! Come on!"

"What? You're a man now. We're men. That's the sort of shit men talk about."

"Not with your dad!"

"Sure with you dad. Who better to guide you?"

"I don't know."

"Come on, man up. You and Allie are fucking, right?"

"Yeah."

"That wasn't so hard. She your first?"

"Yeah."

"Were you hers?"

"Yes."

"Fuck off! Sorry, son, I just don't believe it. A hot little blond like that hasn't been with more than one boy. You lucked out."

"I guess so."

"You guess so? Damn, kiddo, have you seen your girl? She' a bombshell and you're... well, you're you. Hey. Come on. Don't sulk. I'm just being honest with you. You're a good kid, but no one expects a girl like Allie to spend her life with a guy like you."

"What do you mean? Why not?"

"Look, I can see you're getting upset. We can change topics if you want."

"It's fine."

"You sure?"

"Yeah. What did you mean people don't expect her to be with me?"

"You're going to make me say it?"

"I won't be upset. I wont. Just say it."

"Okay, you asked for it. Kid, you're sweet, but you don't strike me as being adventurous, outgoing, assertive. Girls like that shit."

"Not all girls."

"Yes. All girls. Allie included. They want a man who can surprise them, excite them, get their motor running. You must be doing something right though if she's still with you. What's it been now, little over a year?"

"Well, sometimes. Not all the time. We have our fights."

"About what?"

"You know."

"Sex?"

"Yeah. Sometimes."

"What's wrong? You want it too much?

"No!"

"You know, you may not think so, but sometimes girls don't want it as much as we do."

"No, it's not that!"

"Then what?"

"I don't know."

"You want to do some freaky stuff?"

"No."

"You're too rough with her?"

"No!"

"Then what?"

"None of that. I just... well, I think she wants more."

"More? More sex? More kinky stuff?"

"Yeah. I mean... both."

"She said that?"

"Well, sort of."

"Fuck, buddy boy you hit the lottery with this one!"

"Doesn't feel like it."

"I'm telling you, you did! I'd give my left nut for a hot piece of ass like Allie. If your mom weren't in the picture of course."

"What about me?"

"What about you?"

"Wouldn't it bother you that you were fucking your son's girlfriend?"

"Do you want an answer to that question?"

"You'd have sex with a girl half your age who is dating your son? Oh. Well, I guess good thing mom is still around."

"So, what has she told you when you fight?"

"Huh? Oh-uh, well, just stuff. Like... she wants to try new things. New positions, or like doing it at different times, or other stuff."

"She want it rough?"

"Maybe."

"Ah huh, see. Listen to your old man. He knows a thing or two about women. She wants to be tied up, doesn't she? Ah huh. Maybe a little spanking? Held down, hair pulled? Fish-hooking. Finger in the butt. Riding hard and fast, three times a day, banging the headboard through the wall?"

"Yeah. I think so."

"So give it to her! Fuck, boy, you need an invitation? Hello!?"

"I don't know."

"What's the problem? Your pecker work?"

"Yeah! I mean, yeah. It's just... I don't really want to do all that stuff."

"Why the hell not? You seen the body on her!?"

"Yeah. I just don't feel comfortable calling her names, and getting rough with her. What if it makes it weird?"

"It won't make it weird. Trust me. She's gunna love it."

"Yeah, maybe. But, it will be weird for me. I love her. It's weird to boss her around and stuff. What if I say the wrong thing and she gets upset?"

"You said she was into this."

"Maybe."

"Maybe? You don't know?"

"I haven't really tried it. She just seems... unhappy sometimes."

"With the sex?"

"Yeah."

"Well, you got to do something, son. You put this off too long and she'll start looking elsewhere."

"No she won't. Not Allison. She's not like that."

"Hey! Don't be stupid. This girl is once in a lifetime. You think other guys aren't waiting for their shot with her?"

"I'm telling you, dad! Seriously, she wouldn't cheat."

"You sure about that?"

"Yes."

"Care to put your money where your mouth is?"