All Comments on 'The Birthday Present'

Espeteroh you might want to double check your spelling you spelled suck (sick) i thought you might want to know that

lets see more chapters i liked that story i want to see how the rest of garys B`day comes out at the end.

Pat Murray

Atlanta,Ga.

Thanks, espeteroh, for the most erotic story. You developed the characters very well and it makes the reader feel part of the story. Minor grammar and spelling errors should be corrected. Write more!

really liked the story. as others mentioned some mistakes were made.

what i would suggest is a rework of the very end of the story.it ended so abruptly. i would add another paragraph or two for a smoother finish.you wouldn't have to add anymore story,but it would make the transition to the finish smoother

thanks for your effort

don

A real hot boner maker. Keep it up and up..

Good read, especially the dialogue. I liked the story premise. Having Leann and Jane kiss and made out, but then wait until they were with Gary to do more, was a nice touch. At that point I couldn't wait to read about their threesome!

Besides all the errors the largest was the idiot statment that someone is queer just because they respond to being stimulated. A woman gets off on a dildo and that doesn't make her a rubber tire freak does it? Yet time and again in these dufus stories just because a woman responds to another woman they think they are bi or queer. Bodies are meant to respond and too many recruitment queers are putting out the propganda to confused men and women.

Poorly written propaganda.

...he should be a lot better at it.

This one I thought to be a first effort until I read his bio.

Nice plot but not well executed

any woman who doesn't believe a 3some involves the guy fucking the other woman - or that she could someone stop him doing so when they're all naked on a bed - is an idiot

leanne should have talked to her husband specifically about a threesome before inviting jane in to a relationship. Then he part about Leanne acting like sex with Jane was a part of this could have been ommitted. Overal very good. Keep writting

85 stories and this is the best you can do?