All Comments on 'The Birthday Present'

Please put some effort into your stories.

So, she realizes her husband is a closeted beta and prefers a gender-neutral asshole to her pussy. Sad commentary, but I guess she doesn't want to divorce the wimp now that they have a child together.

I don't like you or your stories, but please ignore the negative comments as your writing is just fine.

Erotica is a Rorschach test. 'Nuff said.

Ignore all the spineless anonymous haters. They are eager to criticize as they hide in their mother’s basement. I enjoyed your story. A fun little escape. Keep up the good work.

Very well written - clean, concise, good structure. Now for some more sophistication, maybe. One of the most common areas stories can improve, once the mechanics are mastered, as you have done here, is in deciding where within the story arc the beginning of the writing (i.e. your first line) is. Most commonly, stories start too early. There's too much stuff to get through before any action happens. Here, I feel it's too late. I prefer conflict in stories, even in erotica. A good conflict in this story is the wife's unwillingness to take it up the bum, as it were. When you start this story, that conflict has already been resolved. Just a thought. Still pretty good writing.

You make some good points, Anon. One wag suggested that any book could be improved if the second sentence were changed to read, "And then the murders began."