The Black Dagger

Preface

This fictional story is based on personal experiences. All of the characters in this story are eighteen years old or older.

Without the help and support from MissJenny54 and Lindat817, publication of this story would not have been possible. Additionally, I thank Dorothy, my mother, for her love and my life.

DDM

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The Black Dagger

She put her hand on my naked thigh, just above the welt of my gartered stocking. Her thumb moved up and under my panties, informing her I was already aroused. She gently massaged me, and I became wet for her. I desperately needed her fingers inside me as I couldn't wait any longer...

Now that I have your attention, I want to change the subject and tell you about myself. My name is DeeDee. I am the center of a complex relationship between my male and female sexual identities. I am the hybrid persona that bonds and balances Desi and Debbie. They created me during adolescence as a coping mechanism, allowing the pursuit of our separate sexual destinies. But for over ten years, Debbie was dormant in my life. Without Debbie, I was dormant. Desi was alone with his male sexual identity in my body during the 1970s.

After a year of college away from home, Desi enlisted in the US Air Force. There was no place in military life for a young man with cross-dressing tendencies, so we suppressed our urge to wear women's clothes. Four years later, fulfilling his enlistment, Desi restarted his college education. He met what he thought was the love of his life, Lydia, a stunningly beautiful woman. They were soon married, and life was good.

Desi fondly remembered a time during their honeymoon when they lay in bed together. His ring finger, adorned by a band of gold, was inserted into her. He licked all around it and her pussy, admiring the symbol of his love for her as she came. He withdrew his hand and replaced it with his erect cock. He brought his wet finger to her lips, and they licked it together. They kissed deeply while their hips moved in rhythm together, his hard cock sliding in and out of her in sweet, sweet love.

But good things sometimes come to an early end, which is what happened; the marriage broke apart. Infidelity and dishonesty were the paramount issues Desi could not accept. They divorced after three years together since Desi was heading to graduate school in a different state.

Desi was devastated. It was like a sharp black dagger had been shoved into his heart. It jaded his outlook and willingness to give his heart to another woman. And the black dagger stayed firmly embedded for a few more years, even through another serious relationship.

While completing his graduate work, Desi started a relationship with another young woman, Sandra, who was about to finish her undergraduate degree and attend law school at a major university in the largest city in the state. A few months later, with his Master's degree, Desi moved across the state for a job in that same metropolitan area as Sandra. They rekindled their relationship and moved into a one-bedroom apartment together. Debbie and I were still dormant, and the black dagger stayed in place.

Both Desi and Sandra lived exceedingly busy yet separate lives. Sandra's law school experience was intense. Desi's high-tech career blossomed, and he had the opportunity to work tons of overtime. For the first time in his life, he had $$$ in his wallet and $$$ in the bank.

Their sex life, if summed into one word, was "exploratory." Over several Saturdays one summer, Desi and Sandra took classes in the art of sensual massage. Couples would meet in a private studio for "hands-on" lessons in a group setting. All of the participants were undressed throughout the four-hour training sessions. There were no limitations, providing respect was maintained. After class, Sandra and Desi would grab a bite to eat, then head home and screw into the night.

At other times, they visited a friendly couple hosting hot tub parties. No clothes were allowed as several couples enjoyed the nude experience and shared wine together. Great sex would follow once Sandra and Desi got home, but great sex like this was few and far between.

When Sandra was about to graduate, they realized the limitations of their future. Their destinies lay in different directions, so without much turmoil, pain, or suffering, they broke apart.

For a year or more after ending with Sandra, Desi lived the life of a 30-something bachelor with a comfortable apartment, a nice car, and a sailboat. Whenever time allowed from his busy work schedule, Desi did a lot of bar hopping and pussy chasing. Life was good.

Desi used discretion and patience in finding women. He was not aggressive by nature, always kind and courteous. He diligently made sure to give every willing female one, if not two, orally induced orgasms before satisfying his desires. He loved the look of a sexually sated woman when he came inside her. He would usually follow-up with a sensual massage for her afterwards, and there was never any disappointment.

His sailboat was a "chick magnet." It never seemed difficult for Desi to interest someone new in a sailing adventure. He loved "groovin' to the motion of the ocean."

Desi's employment involved the care and feeding of one of the largest data centers in existence, resulting in many hours of after-hours "test time" with multiple mainframe computers. (The personal computer revolution was in its early embryonic state then.) During one of his test sessions late one night, he noticed a newly hired computer operator sitting at a system console a few feet away. She was young (24 years old), blonde, and very attractive. He introduced himself (to Lynette) to welcome her. After a bit of small talk, Desi returned to his console and placed his fingers on the keyboard. She stood up, walked a few steps, stood behind him and looked over his shoulder. "You have beautiful hands," she said. "Have you ever considered becoming a hand model? I've done some modeling before and would love to help you." Desi told her he had never considered it but would like to hear more.

Bing, bang, boom.

A few nights later, they had their first date; however, their romantic dinner didn't last very long. They were hungry, but not for food. They left the restaurant and raced to Desi's apartment. Once they arrived, after many deep kisses, they left a trail of discarded clothing on the way to the bedroom. The sex was fantastic, and there were no inhibitions. After several hours, they were exhausted, satisfied, and happy. Having arrived at Desi's apartment in her car, she drove home.

A few nights later, they had a second date without bothering to go out for dinner. They fucked their brains out into the early hours of the following morning. Mutually gratified once more, she left for home.

Desi was undoubtedly discovering the seeds of a growing relationship with Lynette that was firmly planted. He was sure she felt the same way. The black dagger stuck in his heart was slowly being lifted away.

For their next date, Lynette invited Desi to pick her up at her house to meet her parents, with whom she lived and some of her siblings. Desi agreed and was nervous when he arrived. After the initial introductions, he looked around the living room and noticed several worn copies of books with the same title on the top of a three-shelf bookcase near the front door. The title of the books was "The Book of Mormon." Holy fucking shit! What a surprise!

Desi was asked to sit at the kitchen table with Lynette's parents for interrogation and wasn't mentally prepared for what transpired. The subject of Desi's religious background was the primary topic. They essentially figured out Desi had none. He guessed they assumed an agnostic person like himself was far worse than any Christian, Jew, or Muslim. Desi knew he did not pass muster. The good news was that Desi and Lynette kept dating, which she kept from her parents. They fell deeply and passionately in love.

After one of their marathon sex sessions at Desi's apartment, they fell asleep and didn't wake until sunrise. It was a real Wake Up Little Suzy moment for both of them. She had to go home and face her parents, who were waiting up all night for her. It didn't go well for Lynette. Taking what possessions she could easily grab and throw into a suitcase, she told her parents goodbye and left home. She moved in with Desi, which was bittersweet for her and wonderful for him.

Sometimes, their work schedules would overlap, and they could commute to work together. Their romance was very noticeable to their co-workers.

St. Valentine's Day came along, and Desi bought her a sexy little red teddy. She would sometimes wear it under her work attire and occasionally lift the bottom of her sweater discretely to give Desi a peek at her very sexy red teddy!

Another time, she took Desi clothes shopping with her. While in a small boutique's dressing room with only a curtain for privacy, she peeked out to ensure Desi was the only person who could see her. She pulled the curtain aside and struck a sexy pose, wearing only her bra, panties, and high heels. She reached behind her back, unfastened her bra and removed it. She looked so wickedly seductive. She gave Desi a wink and drew the curtain closed, leaving him standing immobilized with a hard-on. Lynette was such a flirt, and Desi loved it.

Their sex life was smoking hot. Desi fondly recalled a time while fucking Lynette; she was on top riding him. Her climax built, and her vaginal walls constricted around his hard cock in rhythm with upward thrusts and twitching of his erection. He cupped her breasts in his hands, she leaned in and murmured in his ear, "Cum, Desi, cum for me. I want you to cum deep inside me. I'm going to cum; please, Desi, cum inside me, please." Her whole body purred like a kitten, and she tensed as her orgasm took control. She lustfully moaned when Desi ejaculated deep inside her. He could feel the head of his cock push against her cervix as they came together. It was the most erotic and sexually satisfying experience of Desi's life, followed soon thereafter by another round of great oral sex.

That satisfaction seemed mutual. When they simultaneously had days off from work, it was not unusual to stay in bed all day. Sensual massages allowed recovery between their passions. Desi had never before experienced such a sustained appetite and intensity. "Too much of a good thing...is a GOOD thing," Lynette told Desi more than once.

There was a moment when Lynette told Desi her period was late and thought she might be pregnant. It brought them closer, and that night, their lovemaking was so incredibly tender and sweet. Alas, her period started later that week, but their intimacy remained tight.

A few short weeks later, Lynette got a phone call at work from a sister, informing her their parents were going to ask their church's bishop to excommunicate her for her sins of sex outside of wedlock. If you are not already aware, excommunication is a BIG FUCKING DEAL within the Mormon doctrine. Lynette could not only be banished from the family and their church but could be responsible for having generations of grandparents kicked out of Heaven. Lynette couldn't handle that and was utterly torn and upset. She told Desi she wished she was pregnant, and he reckoned that childbearing would provide a compelling reason for her parents to allow the relationship to continue.

She moved from Desi's and in with her sister temporarily until she could patch things up with her parents, but her relationship with Desi was over. Lynette shoved that damn black dagger deeper than before into his heart, where it remained.

Debbie (and I) came alive again to save Desi. When Lynette abruptly moved to her sister's house, she left many items behind. She inadvertently left a heavily perfume-scented silk scarf in a dresser drawer. In the closet, in a laundry basket, Desi found a bunch of her clean clothes, including a pair of her panties. He returned all her personal items to her at work, but Debbie kept the scarf and panties. Debbie was happy keeping Lynette's panties, yet Desi was conflicted. Debbie didn't care as her sexual identity reemerged.

Desi's and Lynette's work situation was problematic. Dealing with co-workers was difficult and embarrassing, and Desi vowed never to date a co-worker again. There was considerable tension between them, which slowly subsided over time. He realized her heart was broken, too, but they were powerless to do anything about it because of her family.

From the ashes of this failed relationship, Debbie and I were reborn. This was when Debbie started buying and building her private lingerie collection.

We get a thrill when Debbie goes lingerie shopping. With a plethora of department stores and specialty boutiques in the area, shopping for intimate apparel is fun. Mid-day and mid-week are the best times; the stores aren't crowded, and we usually get the personalized attention we need from staff. It can be thrilling for some of the sales ladies who we've gotten to know over the years.

Desi continues to date. Yet, the black dagger remains embedded in his heart. This has not, however, kept Desi from seeking and forming relationships with other women.

About five years after Desi's relationship with Lynette ended, he got a phone call one evening.

"Hello, Desi. This is Vickie."

"Hi, Vickie. How are you?" He replied. "Would you like to get together soon?"

"Yes, I'd like that. But guess what, Desi? I'm pregnant."