by BigJohnHankins
..going to bone her ass? I thought you said something about that in your story.
I am a professional white male with an 8 inch cock and I dont use slang and smart shit to get into women. Your character smacks of street talk jive that a professional would never use.
The writer's breathless pace and poor descriptive language don't allow the reader to fully picture and savour the scenes. I hope he doesn't fuck as breathlessly as he writes!