All Comments on 'The Boss Pt. 01'

Two things

1 - She had also been very active in a sorority and admitted, while we were dating, that she had participated in multiple "party" activities with their affiliated fraternity over the years. "But, I am past that and will knock your head off if you even think of suggesting that I do some of those things again."

.

NEVER marry a woman who outright brags about the fact she will deny you, the man she supposedly loves, sex acts she tossed out like candy on Halloween to people she admittedly didnt care about

/

2. Never assusme you are going to get a follow up to a multi part story any time soon, especially when left on a cliff hanger. Close to 15 multi chapter stories have been started here the last few weeks with not one of them being updated

Who the hell cares what FAMERS SON writes? we all know how this is going to turn out.

.

It's going to involve male sexual torture and male rape because almost every single story that this mentally Twisted Disturbed author writes involves the husband getting raped and were sexually mutilated or tortured.

.

Go back and take a look at his previous stories and you will see that in almost every one of his stories we see the same thing happened to the husband

What part two? He divorces the whore and sells out to another company.

Completely telegraphed from the beginning, and dragged needlessly along with a bunch of boring business shit. This could have easily been done in a page.

Excellent story. I can't wait to see how he pays them back.

Wow, how stupid do the ladies think he is? The contract clearly shows their idea that the new situation at work and at home will be as equal partners, Connie and Toni. He will be subordinate, at work and I guess at home, without any means of escape.

Also, Connie was a model. She never came close to partnering with a man until she had tried quite a lot of them. But she makes life plans with the first woman that comes along? As the song says: My mama told me, "You better shop around"

Fair story. A bit obvious for my tastes. You made him look pretty stupid. I disagree with your analysis and conclusion on running away. I think you over generalized readers complaints about men that run being cowards. I understand the wounded animal analogy but what about the men that run away to avoid punching the bitches in their pretty faces? What about the men that run because they're sick of hearing the lies spew forth from the bitch? Bottom line is there are multiple reasons for a man to run away. I think that the readers (at least this reader) complain about the men that pick up and leave completely and forever to avoid any type of confrontation with their wives. Or to avoid being served when they take all the liquid assets. The reason I object to this type of running is that you miss the juiciest part of a loving wives story - the slagging match. It takes a clever writer to put into words the vitriol that erupts from a husband and wife when they face their marriage's demise. I like that part. In this story, while it is unfinished, there was too much blah, blah, blah about the advertising business and not enough "fuck you's" when the two women reveal their truth. I do hope you post the 2nd chapter quickly, that you don't allow any type of RAAC or polygamy, and that he buries both bitches and the agency. At least that's my wish list!

Why do some authors feel the need to break stories into multi parts?

Do they think it enhances the reader's experience - the anticipation of the climax? BULLSHIT!!

How would you feel if your purchased a novel just to have it end at a cliffhanger and have to wait for the ending?

Did you enjoy waiting for the rest of LOTR? or Deathly Hallows?

I personnally don't and it's gonna cost you a star.

-1 for the predictability of the plot

-1 for the multi part bullshit. Taking a good story down to 3stars.

Yes I'm signing this as an anon pussy - but I think my underlying points are valid and the criticism should be considered constructive.

Great start. Don't make us wait too long for part 2.

This was on e clueless farmers wimp.... yuck almost vomitted

But I do not believe that it includes Connie or Toni.

and nor should it.

No, this isn't right. Normally, (double standard or not) I don't think it's as big a deal for a woman to be with a woman, but I feel really bad for the husband here. He deserves better. I'd walk away.

All women even lesbians are sluts and whores. I hope his revenge is swift and painful for both .

What a betrayal! And then a tattoo to solidify it! Oh my gosh. I'm so angry for this guy. He should leave.

Burn both Bitches! And the business!

I hope this isn't like Epiphany where the person the spouse cheats with gets off pretty much scott free. I don't want to imagine Toni living a sad life. I want to know she is. Evil!

1st page when Toni said, " I can't let anyone know who she is specifically as she is married." and Calvin said nothing to criticize her activity, the husband immediately lost any chance to get my sympathy. He is an enabler and kind of deserved that disrespect from Toni. Because I won't invest anything into the main character, I felt nothing for him when he found out his wife cheated.

Had this pegged from the start. Good writing though, keep it up!

I hope Connie lives to regret this! Toni probably seduced her but her betrayal is still far worse! Please let her husband get someone in his corner. Toni needs to go down! And I guess Connie too. What she did is unforgivable.

OMG how dumb is this bloke? I picked it almost straight away that Madame X was his wife.

Interesting start. Looking forward to part 2.. Thank u for sharing.

I don't think you should write anything from the male perspective anymore. None of your main male characters you've written are relatable. The emotions and thoughts are too exaggerated on everything but anger.

-

When Toni mentioned that she's dating a married person, the husband didn't comment on that even the second time Toni mentioned it. That alone makes the main character lose support. He obviously have no moral issue with cheating so who cares if he is cheated by his own wife.

-

There's also this puking/vomiting cliché. What kind of emotion induces gag reflex when finding out their spouse is cheating? Men and even women will feel very angry or sad but no way anyone would end up vomiting just from emotion. The only reason author include puking is just to show how emotional the cheated husband is. But it only makes him look like a wimp.

-

And don't do that tacky reference to readers and commenters. It is unnecessary and doesn't work well in serious first person story. Worse when your 'fictional' character in a fiction start referring to the event they are in as 'reality' after an obvious callout to real commenter

-

I won't argue if he's metaphorically running or if he's literally running somewhere, but those comments that mentions cheated husband running away are usually referring to 'not confronting their cheating wife'.

When reading that the husband is falling and physically exhausted while running away, I just lost it. This is just bad description of someone betrayed.

-JuanC.

Withholding judgment and rating until the second part. Seems to be a good start, predictable. Please don't let him return with his tail between his legs. Outing them will achieve little; living a better life and destroying the company is a better idea, imho.

I wish you had posted this all at once. I want retribution for this man badly. For them both to continually rub his face unknowingly in their affair is disgusting. And trying to push him into a horrible contract to boot. Wow. Their deceit and cruelty is mortifying. Please don't let them win in any way against him. Not even temporarily. That would be too hard to read.

Toni is evil and he needs some payback for her malicious betrayal.

In these days of equal rights for both genders, I hope he gives her a couple of lefts too.

I hope Calvin gets revenge by having some man on man sex, so she'll know how it feels. Let her see him sucking some cock so she'll realize the same hurt and pain.

I'll give you credit for one thing, you sure know how to write shitty stories.

I only hope you have him stick to his guns. No whining or flip-flopping, these bitches are the enemy now, plain and simple. The closest people to him have conspired together to humiliate and destroy him, going so far as to try and turn him into a literal wage slave. They deserve no consideration and no mercy.

Dayyyyyuuuummm.... what dude would run from a threesome like that?

He must have a pretty low IQ. Never ever completely trust a spouse or partner. Verify Verify Verify.

I have often thought about tackling a rewrite of this story myself; I'm glad you took it on and I can't wait to see where it goes. Thank you!

Good tale, but the lies the wife told would be unforgivable, similarly the lies told by his best friend would ruin any friendship. So really there is only one realistic end to this well told tale

Unbelievable betrayal by both women! Great writing really drew me into the characters. Of course, we all surmised early on who Madame X was, but it still hurt to read his discovery. I can't imagine from your story what he did to Toni at some point to have her humiliate him like she did. I not normally a total BTB reader, but Toni needs to burn...to the ground. Connie is different story as losing her husband should be enough punishment when he starts his own business and makes millions. LOL - 5* for now

Would have been more interesting if you had surprised us and Madame X was someone else. Meh.

The surprise of Madame X's identity was telegraphed from page one so the actually reveal was anti-climactic. I mean come on now, Connie and Toni might as well been wearing signs around their necks saying " We're cheating sluts and are fucking each other!" The husband has to be the dumbest sum-a-bitch in the world and is the number one cliche in the Loving Wives category. Would have been more interesting story to have the husband cleanly aware of what was going at the beginning but playing "dumb" while he designed and set his own trap to take down his cheating wife and partner. Cliche number 2 is the "run-away" husband and vomiting at the reaction to betrayal. Really, what is this obsession with "men" vomiting as a reaction to betrayal? Talk about a fetish.

Is chapter two going to be nothing but wimpy husband hand wringing, navel gazing and vacillating back and forth on "what's a poor little man to do with the mean evil Lesbians cunts who want to dominate and destroy my life". Just what Loving Wives section doesn't need...another weak indecisive man-child with no balls who's afraid of life and women.

Yes, very clear from early on who Madame X was. But why was the husband written as being so stupid, so unaware, so unquestioning as to appear almost emotionally retarded?

Also, didn't he know how much his slut wife was making from her "modelling"? All that time with the slut Boss and no or little income to show for her "work"?

Anyway, I'm looking forward to the next/final chapter when the dickhead acknowledges what has happened and gets off his arse and actually does something rather than piss around as some whipped cur.

hopefully the actual story will start in part 2. This was long and meandering, and provided no real context to the story, Other than the main character is very dim witted.

Unrealistic.

It was so obvious from the start who MX was. It made him look like a idiot. (3)

I have to question his intelligence, it was pretty obvious already that Toni wouldn't give a name from the get go. Then the flushed appearance at that double date, the increased time spent together, Connie's refusal to give up info or tell her that what she was doing was wrong and the slave contract. Really there were so many red flags leading here. But the resolution seems easy enough, divorce the cheating wife and let her Lesbian lover(your backstabbing former friend and boss) have her, after quitting your job for a better or at least an equally good company and suing her for alienation of affections or whatever it is when an employer bangs your wife.

But I get the feeling that things will not be so easy in the next chapter. Something worse will happen: false sexual misconduct accusations, raping him to attempt obedience, some kind of blackmail or possibly emotional manipulation to make him come back to her. I'm just guessing cuz a lot of these stories feature something like those. I'll wait till the story ends to rate them, but this felt like a 2/5.

I thought their dream was to open THEIR own business, so why is she the sole owner?

\

"But, I am past that and will knock your head off if you even think of suggesting that I do some of those things again." - If she's referring to group things, fine, but if she's referring to specific acts, then she's out of line. I din't mean that if she did "X" that she has to do it with him. but to "knock his head off" if he even THINKS of SUGGESTING "X"?

\

"What do you think this is, erotica?" - Ha ha. Why not just say "Literotica" like the other writers trying to be meta do?

\

Toni doesn't want to cheat on Madame X, but is okay with Madame X cheating on her husband?

\

"I know you never wanted anyone to tell you yes or no and a partner might disagree with you at times." - A 10% owner isn't going to have much say.

\

A partner who can't look at the books? A 10% owner who only gets 10% of 1% of the profits, PLUS less salary than he gets now? With forced OT (that she'll probably use to fuck his wife!)? Not only would I refuse the offer, but I would quit altogether. How could she do this to a friend and loyal, exceptional employee?

\

I figured that the purpose of the agreement was to force him into a cuckold relationship.

\

"she would just say that I needed to trust Toni and that she was our friend and had our best interests at heart." - Does she know what's in the agreement? Of course she does!

\

"no one was in the office to mail it on the weekend" - Neither he nor Jerry can drop it in the mail?

\

As for the running, it's a "fight or flight" response, and he doesn't want to hit them.

\

I'm surprised that they didn't wait until they got the signed partnership agreement back. Yes, he said he signed it, but in their position I'd want to be sure before fucking up the personal relationship.

Excellent beginning as usual!

Thank you!!

Hopefully he leaves her and gets his happiness

I am on Tom's side but he does deserve a little pain. He knew some husband was going to suffer and didn't voice his disapproval with his "friend". She has used him for years. They planned to build the business together but she made herself owner and him employee. His lawyer saved him and now he can destroy her and her business. Connie will lose everything. If she knew what was in the contract then she is just as evil. If not, well she will see how she was used and lost because of the evil Toni. Looking forward to part 2

I picked it almost straight away too that Madame X was his wife. The false hints about the husband disturbed just a little.

What I don't get is according to Toni Madame X doesn't have sex with her husband anymore. But Connie still has sex with her husband. Is this just one more false hint of the two or doesn't Toni know that Connie has still an active sexlife with her husband? Has Connie "cheated" on Toni because she still really loves her husband?

When Cal mentioned the back bedroom only one nodded. Maybe Connie isn't completely lost.

I generally can imagine a threeway relationship in casees where the wife is bisexual. With an understanding hisband and open discussion with equal partnership something like that could work. But in this case there is a lot of cunning.

I'm looking forward to the next chapter.

Can't wait for part 2

I am looking forward to the next chapter. Yep, as other commentators noted you telegraphed the situation but was well written in the husband working through the situation.

Oh another one that we have to wait for the sequel.

Man, the thing I don't like sequels is that I soon forgot what the story is all about.

But hey, this is your story author. If this is your intention, then so be it.

Very good story though, thanks Farmers_Son

2* Nothing but stereotypical LW cliches with the obtuse cucky husband who runs like craven coward, pukes, and cries. Very disappointing as I expected more from this author. He seems to have joined the ranks of LW mediocrity. Maybe FTDS or The Tramp can take over and save this story.

Well written very sad tale.

Plot part with "partner contract" is a mumbo-jumbo that makes no sense in any possible way. Who would be dense to sign any type of contract without reading it?

Also the story is going so slow that even the densest of the readers could figure out that "Connie" is "Madame X" before a moron "Cal" could. Not much in the way of suspense other than to figure out how many pages Farmer_Son needs to drivel on through before he can declare that "Calvin" has epiphany.

Now I wonder how is Farmer_Son going to be able to put the moron in any sensible fighting mood which I am assuming he will try in the second part. Anyway, consistency is not exactly a strong point for this author.

The foolishness of the whole idea of lesbian mastermind "Toni" flaunting the cheating in face of "loser moron" seems to be only for the purpose of frustrating the reader rather than to build any suspense.

It has become a rule for every lousy writer on LW to generate readers' frustration with idiotic characters in lieu of elaborate plot. Why bother with serious work that may require imagination when you can create a totally delusional manipulative bitch female character or a dense moron of a husband and then drivel page after page emphasizing the same while your reader starts skipping moronic paragraphs.

1 star for wasted time.

I was thinking about this story and thought of the perfect payback - that little addendum that he signed as part of the partnership - have it state that under certain conditions (having an adulterous relationship with his wife/contributing to the breakup of his marriage would definitely count) then all those conditions spelled out in the partnership that were so punitive to him would be reverse and apply to Toni - He would own 90% of the company, she would be on salary and eligible for only minuscule bonuses, and of course couldn't leave, and can't compete or face financial ruin. He might be generous in letting he her leave without complete financial ruin if the 2 cheating b-tchs move to the other coast and of course Toni has to stay out of advertising. She's a salesperson, she can sell something else. Their attempt to control his life and threaten to ruin it should come back at them. And then Toni can get mad at her lawyer for not catching the reversal of the trap. She may be able to sue her lawyer, but she'll still take a catastropic hit.

Waiting for the end.

It was too easy to figure out what his wife was doing. I hope that he just walks away. Neither women are worth the trouble.

I figured it out immediately-but still a good story.

I hope he makes Toni pay. The contract would have made his life a living hell

Good god this man is slow. I figured out Madam X was his wife. The contract is a setup to make sure he doesn't leave. Why didn't he figure this out? Nobody is this dumb

On the other hand this story has a social context, unintended by the author.

The author is portraying his own fear from women as he sees them in alliance to destroy moral values and enslave men. I guess this is a nightmare of every BTB writer so having lesbian duo of bitches is what further amplifies that fear.

It was telegraphed early but it is the conclusion that keeps me reading. Well done. I have enjoyed all of your stories. Awaiting the conclusion or continuation

I simply will not read any multipart story on this site because so many are unfinished and I can't stand wasting my time.

Powerful stuff at the end. Calvin's pain was so real, the readers could feel it. Calvin is not stupid, he's in love with his wife and trusts her and his friend Toni. Connie is just another cheater willing to double cross her husband for her lover. Toni is the worst. She is narcissistic and selfish, and she wants to control and humiliate Calvin. Since she was born without a penis, she has penis envy, and need to exert power over him to show to Connie how "manly" she is. She also needs Calvin for the business, and wants to tie him up, while castrating him figuratively. Sadly Connie agreed in manipulating Calvin in signing the "castrating" contract. That shows were her love, motivations, and interests truly are. Actions speak louder than words. Calvin is not weak. He's just trusting, in love, and too busy at work to see the whole conundrum. He's wounded, and has to recuperate and heal, and then he has to plan his revenge and his exit from both of them. They're not worth it. In this case, you could say there is something twisted in those whose sexuality is twisted too.

Start of what? Hopefully the ending. If this is how this idiot gets started down the road to being a sperm donor, baby daddy and cuck, please just stop.

"No, this isn't right. Normally, (double standard or not) I don't think it's as big a deal for a woman to be with a woman, but I feel really bad for the husband here. He deserves better. I'd walk away." As a bisexual woman married to a man, and happily so, that is utter bullshit. Sleeping with another woman robs (at the worse) or at least splinters off emotional intimacy with your primary spouse. You are either completely devoted to someone or not and please don't tell me you are able to equally dole out emotional connection because in almost every circumstance it proves wrong in the long term. Unless a relationship grows organically as a poly, adding another person to the mix after the fact is evidence that emotional intimacy has already been removed from the primary partner and granted to the new. It will only grow more lopsided overtime until one or both relationships completely fall apart. The notion that anyone can successfully open a marriage without irrevocably changing it forever is foolish and engaging in cognitive dissonance. Maybe the marriage will survive but it will never have the level of intimacy and devotion that it did before. It cannot. Love is not rational, it's chemical. One cannot control their hormones. They CAN control their behaviors before they damage their partnerships and relationships - starsong1977

His response to the proposed partnership agreement was weak. How many red flags does he need? Should have been investigating Toni and the business immediately. And also planning an exit strategy.

Good story. But I didn't follow the parts about his response to the bogus partnership contract, which read:

"Finally we came up with a plan. Jerry would create a new agreement, one that was more a standard partnership contract. I would sign it and Jerry would then send it by snail mail to Toni's attorney. If we planned it right it would be two or three days before Toni would know I had not signed the original proposal and maybe, just maybe, we would find out what the deal was."

Why not just lie about having signed the contract, and say it was in the mail? What could he gain by what he did? And whatever contract ("alternate agreement") he did sign and sent might be used against him somehow. I don't see how he gained anything from all that. Or for that matter, why not just confront Toni directly with what his lawyer told him, and see what she said?

But the story is off to a very interesting start. I look forward to the next chapter.

It‘s been obvious to conclude who Mrs. X would be.

But nice to read anyway.

Waiting for the second pt. and the outcome.

Thanks

The outcome was telegraphed from the beginning but you described his ignorance and trust well.

Connie and Toni are going to lose, big time. Toni thinks she 'owns' him, but she probably has not seen his signature. He is the creative genius and when he leaves, Zaponi crashes. Connie thought she could have her cake and eat it, too. Nope.

Both women are lying, deceitful bitches and deserve to suffer. Document their affair. Divorce, start up your own agency, and live well. BTBs.

Great piece of writing, but the mystery really wasn't a mystery.

Obvious from the beginning, could have been 1 page. Seems to have taken great pains to paint this guy as an idiot at every turn. No sympathetic characters in this story. You'll need to come up with something very unique to redeem this sad story.

Very good start. But there was never any suspense.

I liked the Phil Phantom version. Looking forward to the rest of your version.

Couldn’t finish it. Seemed like it was going to be a story about two women making this pathetic punk their bitch boi

BBBB … Burn Both Bitches and the Business!!!

Pretty boring story actually. I skimmed the last two chapters as it seems twice as long as it needed to be. Unless you can put some drama, emotional turmoil and excitement in the rest of the story don't bother continuing.

Wow. A cheating wife is terrible, but an oldest friend maneuvering to make him a sperm donor and slave? Cal needs a financial backer, to form his own competing firm; inform the clients why he’s on his own; and get a good divorce lawyer.

How on earth did he have the brain power to read & write let alone attend college as it was obvious from the start that he was being set up by wife & boss!

The only way out is ruin the two of them by destroying their reputations (if that is possible) as being totally untrustworthy by telling current & future customers "if they find this to somebody they claim to love, what would they do a stranger in business?"

Failing that, kill them very, very slowly & painfully and disappear.

I hope I.P. Freely comes back and fucks up both cheating cunts.

~Enkidu

The author has put the story into a corner. We now identify with Calvin, who figures out his Boss, long term friend; Toni has seduced her "MadamX": in reality, his wife: Connie so they can live as a trouple? Despite numerous warnings and concerns to Toni, by Calvin about the damage to Madam X's "husband", she plows ahead with the relationship. Most readers could figure out who Madam X was from the start. But rather than cut off her husband, as Toni claims, the real Madam X, continues to shower her husband with sex. Rather than try a threesome and some honesty, Toni maintains her behavior.

Is Connie, 100% brain dead? Is Toni simply the dumbest "Boss" in the world? Especially with that awful partnership agreement. It's so obvious, even the dimmest bulb, Calvin finally figures it out.

How does the story get out of the box? Calvin divorces Connie, quits his job, Toni's firm fails? Exactly what kind of revenge? How in the world can Calvin reconcile with Connie? Calvin meets a nicer, better looking, hotter woman, gets a better job, has kids and lives happily ever after. That's one LW formula, but poor Calvin has already suffered an awful betrayal. We shall see.

It has all the symptoms of a cuck RAAC story, namely an incredibly stupid and indecisive husband, an "innocent" wife who's the most gullible woman on earth, and a lover who "corrupts"/"seduces" the "innocent" wife. The husband will huff and puff for a while but ultimately suck up the insult and forgive the wife and take her back because that's what happens in "real life". I would really like to be proved wrong though I don't expect anything better from this author. 3 stars.

Okay, so let's summarize. The protagonist is an idiot. He has an IQ somewhere around 75. Toni is a complete sociopath and this turn to "evil, mustache twirling villain" comes out of nowhere. The wife Is a lesser version of Toni, but almost as evil.

.

Do I have a proper understanding of what's going on here? Nothing is logical and there isn't a single character that resembles an actual human being.

That Connie is Madam X shouldn't have been a surprise since that was how it was in Phil Phantom's story, though in that one I believe the boss was male.

.

Based on what was established in this, if they stay married it would have to go well beyond RAAC, especially since the betrayal isn't only from his wife but his supposed best friend. The only way I can see him staying in the marriage is if he is forced, that they cook up some story that would mean being left with nothing -- possibly jail -- if he left.

I take exception that he wasn't a coward by running and running and running until he collapsed and puked. A wounded animal seeks revenge on what hurt it. Example...a wounded Leopard will circle back on it's blood trail and ambush the attacker that is following it. It didn't lose it's mind but instead plotted revenge on it's attacker. Cape Buffalo will do the same thing. That's what an attacked man should do. He should get away from his attacker and plot his revenge.

Fairly clear by the end of P. 2 who was Madame X.

The contract, though, was over-the-top-unbelievable. IANAL, but I can't think that any attorney would even draw such a proposal up. (OK, there are certain Lawyers In The News who might, but still....)

That is a very deep hole you're digging there. And that is not including the abundance of plot holes.

A stupidly oblivious husband, a cunning cheating wife, and treacherous 'friend'. There's also this obviously unfair contract that is yet to be resolved. How do you salvage this story and deliver justice to this wrongdoers.

And the writing also lack any level of suspense. It was so obvious that only the main character couldn't figure it out. Instead of thrilling read, it is just frustrating reading pages after pages of unsubtle 'mystery'.

One major issue with the main character, Calvin is that he said nothing about Toni dating a married person the first few times she mentioned it. For a character narrating in first person, his silence or lack of contempt for Toni's action is almost as bad as condoning it. By the time he did, knowing that he is the victim doesn't regain him any sympathy.

2* for this. Hopefully better for next chapter.

WEAK STUFF

Weak stuff at the end. Calvin's pain is so unreal, readers felt no emotion at all. Actions speak louder than words. Calvin is so spinelessly weak with him puking and crying instead of doing something such as raging or contacting his attorney to confirm their suspicion. If only the author write him as recuperating and healing, and then planning his revenge and his exit from both of them instead of puking, crying, and puking again this might be a bit more interesting.

First, thank you for taking your time to give us some free entertainment.

.

I find it absolutely hilarious reading the people who seem to think the fiction is real and take great umbrage with it. Literally, I laugh my ass off at them. 🤣🤣🤣

.

Overall, well done. We of course knew what was coming for quite a while but you did a good job holding the attention of readers (who know what fiction is).

.

The partnership agreement seems like a discordant note in the plot. I have a hard time reconciling how bad it is with the character as laid out (Toni). I'm guessing she would have fit in with it better in Phil's original version which was more extreme. My one significant piece of advice would have been to fit the agreement more with your toned-down version of the story. Maybe in a rewrite...

.

A smaller thing would have been liking to see a smoother transition (or better explained sudden one) for when he knows Connie is Mad.X. I get that he was suspicious but the flip at the end was kind of weird. Maybe a bit more inner dialog to get us there more gracefully. Or, maybe that was just me.

.

But, having said that, I did enjoy it and am looking forward to the next installment.

Toni is one nasty cunt.

Soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo seriously bad I stopped part way through page 2.

WTF was this idiocy anyway?

Though I'll give you some credit for writing a husband thats as dumb as the wives most limp assed writers use over and over again in their stories.

Its a wonder he could tie his shoes hes that thick

get an English to Spanish dictionary. If her culo (ass) is dripping she should see a doctor. The word you want is coño (pussy).

@Infosauger Re: "But in this case there is a lot of cunning." - Or a lot of "cunting," if you will.

\

Re: MadameX - Of course she's his wife! One of the tags is "cheating wife," who else would it be?

\

@AngelRider, I also tend to avoid multi-part stories, but Farmers_Son has a pretty good track record of completing stories in a timely manner.

\

@Anonymous/Starsong1977 Re: Bisexual - Thanks. I'm not bisexual, but I know a few, and they say the same thing, that bi simply means that being attracted to both sexes, not that you need both.

\

@Anonymous Re: The Contract - Yes, why do they assume that Toni won't notice that the contract is thicker? Take it to her in person and just flip it to the last page!

\

@Schwanze1 - You should have finished it. You're right in what they were trying to do, but he pulled a fast one on them.

The partnership agreement represents a cock cage with Toni holding the only key. God bless Cal's lawyer.

For Toni being his BFF, she sure is working diligently to screw Cal over. It’s difficult to write a story that gives the pertinent details without giving away the outcome, as so many commenters pointed out. Connie and Toni lied overtly a little and certainly by omission a lot, which adds up to major betrayal from both. The next chapter should either be about his walking away (not very interesting) or revenge on both (please do something unique).

Brilliant story. Loved it. I enjoyed the different tack in the story telling. Looking forward to the next chapter. 5 stars

He left his job to join her as an hourly employee? No equity at all for leaving secure job for a startup? He is hourly? Makes no sense.

5 stars because it got me thinking how I would end this story. :-)

Nice idea with only signing his OWN contract and sending that back, covered by Toni's. Maybe she will sign his contract without noticing. In any case he IS safe financially.

The story reminds me of qhml1's classic "Unexpected Reaction", merely because of the advertising business similarity. For a business owner/marketing lead to piss off her creative person just isn't real smart at all. You've certainly painted her now as stupid and mean - just a cunt, not any kind of lifelong friend. But his first clue should have been her alone just being "owner" at the very start of opening "their" own company. It never was "theirs'" just "her's" all along. And forget the wife, she's just a model, anyway. What did he expect?

Usually when I read something sorely lacking I just move along quietly. This time I'll sprinkle a few comments in the hope that they may help he author with future works.

1) Characters are in no danger of being accused of verisimilitude. Nor are any of the three appealing as human beings. One is vicious, another is brazenly dishonest, and the third hasn't got half the intellect god gave a grasshopper.

2) Plot? Many paragraphs about a deception, until the matter becomes tedious, and some superficial scribbles about sex. No dramatic tension, as only one doesn't get what is obvious to the reader.

Would I read the forthcoming installment? Why would I?

On the good side of the ledger, the author writes competently, even in service to a watery cause.

I agree with @DarkerBinding’s comments. I would like to add that I am not aware of the original storyline, so I only have this version to base my thoughts on.

Toni’s goal seems to be to get Connie all to herself while Connie seems to want a Triad relationship. At least that’s my understanding from the differences between Toni’s and Connie’s details of the affair. So when Cal told Toni that she was going to ruin whatever marriage and friendship she was playing with, well it made sense that she would have to protect her business but now she could incorporate a way to dispose of Cal as well.

Evil? Yes. Selfish? Absolutely! But, does Connie know what Toni’s real intent is with the contract? Or the details of the contract?

Now this doesn’t change the fact that Connie is betraying Cal. It’s obvious that Connie thinks that she can convince Cal to go along with this new dynamic. Both Toni and Connie mentioned that “the husband” is (paraphrasing) mild mannered and wouldn’t be violent if/when he finds out. That said, everyone has a breaking point and Cal seems to be at his. His only saving grace so far is that he has not signed the contract that Toni sent. So, I am curious where the story goes from here

He just nods and shuffles while his supposed wife spends endless evenings out with her friends? She has lost all respect for her husband and now treats him like a pet, while his business partners is conspiring to screw him to the wall, and he has no clue, no instinct, sees and feels no change in either woman's behavior, attitude, demeanor, values? For God's Sake, his business partner Admits she is fucking over a good friend to steal his wife and he thinks he wants to be in business with this cheater, this thief, this soulless predator?

Then fine, he totally deserves to be completely fucked over. Who gives a fuck what happens to stupid clueless tuned out husbands? This guy is too stupid to breathe. Brava Toni! Darwin says this troglodyte deserves extinction.

Thanks for the effort. Hate men much?

You spent a lot of time setting up a conflict we could see early on. It got to a point that

The story really dragged. I initially felt the same about the background, but it’s a complex plot, and I can see the need to build complexity in your characters. I think that complex plot is great, and I like your characters. I even enjoy detesting Toni!

Ready to read Pt. 2!

I know it's fiction, and not real, but he should have had an idea who Madam X was - Toni was meeting her whenever he wasn't around. But maybe I guessed that because, A.) it is a story about loving wives (the Literotica version of Loving Wives,) and B.) There was no other woman in the story that it could be.

.

The Toni character is a cold hearted woman to try to tie him to the company on less pay and no chance of getting out without losing everything. Maybe it was her way of insuring that he not leave - sounds like he's the creative heart of the company and once he leaves they'll be in trouble. I wonder which woman nodded and which shook her head.

.

Damn, I was hoping for a resolution - I'll be on pins and needles to see how this plays out. Loved the "I.P.Freely" signature.