The Break in

The Break-in.

When you live in a close-knit community like I do, news of any kind tends to travel fast. Sometimes it travels even faster when the town is on the rather small size, and currently the news in our small town was about the rash of break-ins that have been happening.

For the first 10-years that I had lived in the area, there was never a problem. People relied on their neighbors, and they didn't steal from one another. We left our cars and houses unlocked. If you happened to leave your garage door up one night, you didn't have to worry about finding the place empty in the morning. At least that's how it was in the past.

More recently, things have taken a turn for the worse. Our area has been growing. Everywhere that there was once a vacant field, construction has started. More and more houses popped up out of nowhere and soon enough, strangers seem to be everywhere.

At first it started with things missing from inside of vehicles. In the morning you could tell that someone had been rummaging through your stuff. Change was dropped on seats, the glovebox was left open, papers strewn about, things like that. We thought it was kids rummaging for pop money, but then bigger things went missing. Locks were cut and tools were gone from work truck boxes and car trunks, until the biggest invasion of privacy, the break and enters of homes started to happen.

One of my neighbors from down the street returned after a weekend camping trip to find his garage emptied. Gone was every single DeWalt power tool he owned, a lawn mower and bunch of booze. At that point, it was the ultimate indignity. Your home is your castle and for another person to break in and steal from it, is the worst kind of invasion.

From there it just didn't get any better. In fact, it went downhill.

A plan was made. Flyer were handed out door to door. As a group we tried to keep an eye on each-others stuff, but our yards are big, and our houses are far enough away that you aren't always able to see everything that is happening. So, we had to come up with alternative plan.

The problem was that we had a very good idea who was committing the crimes. But we had no actual proof.

You see, everything started happening within a month of a younger couple moving in a few streets over. They weren't hard to notice. A jacked up yellow pick-up truck with loud dual exhaust pipes. Dirt bikes and quads. And loud music. Always loud and always obnoxious. Not because it was loud, but because it was shitty music. They both had matching blonde hair, bleached to a yellow color that was almost the same as their truck. And they were tiny. Small elvish, slight frames. If they were stealing our shit, I'm not even sure how the little bastards carried some of the stuff they stole. Anyway, it couldn't have been a coincident that the thefts started shortly after they moved in. And other than the blond hair, they were transparent. No one seemed to know what they looked like up close, but someone knew that they were in their early 20's. Their next-door neighbor said that they were nocturnal animals.

Stealing from cars, trucks, and garages is bad enough, but the straw that broke the camels back was when a couple with two small children came home from work, to find that their house had been robbed and ransacked in the middle of the day. So much for nocturnal theory.

An emergency meeting was called by seven or so of us that lived the closest together. We met in my garage, and by the time everyone had finished their second beer, we had a true vigilante group on our hands. Hungry for blood and a good old-fashioned lynching. I tried to keep the gang civil, but it was a hard thing to do.

"Okay, we have to calm down a little bit here. It's not like we can just walk over there, kick their door down and shoot them. If we do that, then we'll be the one's that end up in jail, not them."

"Well, we can fuckin shoot if we catch um in the act." My neighbor from a couple doors to my right was throwing gasoline on an already raging fire.

"Look Joe, it's only a matter of time before they get caught. We have to be smart about what we do or else they'll get away with it."

"That's easy for you to say Shawn, you didn't have those assholes in your goddamn house." Rob, the guy with the two kids had a very valid point.

"I know Rob. I'm not trying to say that I know how you feel. I'm just saying if we want to stop it from happening again, we have to catch them in the act, and not shoot them"

"Well maybe we can borrow Chico from you." Chico is my Neapolitan Mastiff. He weighs in at just under 170lbs, and so far, has proven himself to be the best security system on the market. He never barks, but he doesn't have to. Everyone knows full well that he is here.

"Anytime." I made the offer knowing that no one would ever take me up on it. They liked Chico well enough, but they were scared shitless of him.

"I say that we just go over there and have a talk with the little bastard. Maybe we can gently persuade him and his bitch to move out of our neighborhood. Give him a couple of slaps if we need to. Maybe drag them behind one of our trucks for a few miles." Joe was the oldest, and apparently dumbest in the group.

"Look, I don't know how many times I have to tell you, we can't go to them. All they have to do is call the cops and open a file against us and we're screwed. We have to catch whoever it is, in the act or with some of our stuff. It's the only way that we will be able to make the charges stick."

"I'm against violence, but we tend to agree with Joe. That little prick has to pay. Plus, we got the law on our side." Mark and Steve, the gay couple that live three houses to my left were on the vigilante warpath also.

"Okay, listen. You have to give me until next weekend. If we haven't caught them by then, we'll do it your way."

Almost in unison the others in the group asked what I planned to do. I couldn't answer, because at that point, I didn't yet know yet, so I made shit up on the fly.

"I'm working on a trap. We can't all be in on it, because...well it's better that not everyone knows. That way you can deny it if the shit hits the fan."

Some nodded in agreement and others, like Joe left my garage cursing like a sailor. Rob wasn't far behind. He was pissed, but not spewing venom like Joe. Mark and Steve stayed for another beer.

"So, Shawn, if you catch them, what's the plan, turn them into dog food for Chico?" We all laughed at my poor dog. He looked up from licking his balls when he heard his name, but otherwise, he couldn't have cared less.

Time was of the essence. I had five days to pull together my plan and catch the cat burglar's causing havoc in our neighborhood. I didn't have a bunch of faith in my plan. It wasn't what anyone would call elaborate, but it was all that I could come up with, and with the weekend approaching, it would be the best time to put it into play.

I started by stringing up some motion sensors, infrared cameras that were equipped with full high-quality night vision. They were strategically placed in areas in my yard where they could go undetected. I was hoping to get close-ups on their faces, as evidence. Secondly, I went shopping.

I had been in the market for the past few years, I had wanted a new television, and there was no time like the present. I purchased a LG 65" 4K Smart TV from Costco. I put the packaging for the TV along with some other packaging that I had rummaged from the recycle bin at Home Depot roadside two days before my garbage day. I also took pictures of some of the higher valued things in my garage. My quad, my generator, my mitre and table saws, things like that and put them on Marketplace and a local Facebook page. I gave the reason for selling as having purchased new ones. The bait was out, and the trap was being set. Now all it would take was luck and time. The wait began.

Just before dusk on Saturday night, Steve drove past my house and waved. He was waving at his partner who was dressed in a ball cap and my coat. Carrying an overnight bag, Mark got into my truck, backed out of the driveway and drove away. Chico and I sat in complete darkness, still waiting.

The sting took a lot longer than I would have thought. At one point, I actually thought that they wouldn't show up. That all the planning and all the work that I had put into my plan, was not working. Maybe they hadn't taken the bait. But petty thieves have a thing about stealing "new" purchases. They are drawn to the temptation like a moth to the light, and just before midnight, I got an alert on my Iphone. The screen showed a single figure wearing all black, with a backpack slung over his shoulder. The would-be thief was standing outside the backdoor of my garage, with a pry bar in his hands.

Chico took my cue. Silence would be our friend. Sneaking through the house to the sliding backdoor on my deck, we would be able to flank our uninvited guest.

The screen of my phone flicked from camera to camera. No other guests were found nearby or on the property. It appeared that who ever was going through my door, was working alone.

I tried my best to be silent and was assisted by the noises of the ply bar working against wood and metal. The noise that the intruder was making, was loud enough so that I was able to sneak up to within a foot of him.

My uninvited guest stopped dead in his tracks when the cold steel of my Tanfoglio EA-9 touched the skin on his neck.

"I dare you to move motherfucker." He froze in the spot where he was. "Hands up asshole." When, he didn't move fast enough for my liking, I deployed plan "B". "Chico, bite this cocksucker."

The intruder's arms immediately shot skyward, and the pry bar clanged loudly on the concrete when it was dropped.

With one hand on my pistol, I ripped his hoodie back, exposing that head of stupid blonde hair. Then, I looped a zip tie over each of his scrawny wrists and pulled the makeshift handcuffs tight. Using the sharp blade of my hunting knife, I cut the asshole's backpack free.

"You move, you die. Got it?" The little blonde asshole nodded.

Freeing my mini-Maglite from my pocket, I opened the pack and found all the tools of a thief's life.

"Where is she?"

"Who?" The backhand to the side of his head wasn't hard, but it let him know that I wasn't fucking around.

"Ask me another question asshole, I fuckin dare you."

"She's in the truck. Waiting for me on the street behind your house."

"Where's your phone." He looked down at the front pocket of his black jacket. Pointing my gun at his face, I moved in to remove it. "Call her."

"Just call the cops man. Keep her out of this." The second slap was considerably harder than the first.

"That's not how this is going to work you little cunt. Call her, and if you give her any clue that you're in trouble and I make her a widow. Remember, shooting an armed intruder is very legal in our fine state. God bless America."

"What...what do you want me to tell her?"

"Tell her that you need help carrying my brand new 65" TV. Try that for starters." It took a couple nibbles on his leg from Chico, but the little bastard finally told me what the contact name was in his phone. I pushed the call button, held the phone up to his ear, and he did the talking. When I hung up, I thought that we would just wait in peace, but the asshole surprised me and tried to make a break for it. Chico pounced and nailed his 170lbs squarely into the back of our 100lb intruder. Lying on the concrete floor, winded and moaning, I reminded him what was coming next.

"Don't do anything stupid. Your wife comes in here and tells me what I need to know, and I let you go. If not, feel free to make another run for it. Next time I'll let my dog eat a pound of your flesh."

Minutes later, my phone alerted me for the second time that night. Someone was coming toward the house. "Shhhh." I held my finger up to my mouth and moved to the door.

"Jansen." A whispered tone. "Jansen." I looked at him in the darkness, pushed the barrel of my pistol into the soft skin of his cheek, and nodded.

"In here babe."

Dressed in the same black bullshit thief attire as her husband, she stepped into my garage. I wanted to slap her just like I had her old man, but I didn't need to, she stopped dead in her tracks when I showed her the barrel of my gun. My plan had worked.

Mark answered on the second ring.

"Yeah, don't use the garage door opener, come around the side and use the backdoor." I ended the call and waited. When Mark arrived, we would decide what to do with our new friends.

"So, I'll try and make this easy for you both. Tell us where you put all the stuff that you took from my neighbors and we will determine your fate from there."

"Look mister, we..." I pointed the gun at her forehead.

"Like I told your boy Jansen. I'm well within my rights to shoot both of you cunts, so lie to me again and try my patience. I dare you. Do it and you might not make it out of here. Understood?"

"It's in a warehouse. Not far from here. I'll take you there. You can get back whatever we didn't sell yet." I looked at Jansen and his head was hanging very low.

"How do you plan on making up for what you've sold?"

"Mister, your friends gotta have insurance. They'll get most of their stuff back, plus they get to keep the insurance money."

"Yet, they'll still be missing some stuff, their stuff. Things that were taken from them, by you. And they get to live with the indignity of an asshole like you stealing from them."

"It's not like they're hurting. Look at the houses they live in. They probably don't even miss the stuff we take"

This time some of the gun barrel caught him on the side of his forehead. It must have looked like I was about to do it again, because his wife spoke up.

"We've got some money stashed. We can give you that too."

"No, I'm pretty sure everyone I know wants their shit back."

"Well, good luck with that. We can't get back what we sold." The little fucker. He was actually giving me lip.

"Oh, I'm fully aware of that. That's why we're going to kick the shit out of you before we let you go.

"Look Mister...don't hurt him. Just let us go and, I'll...I'll let you fuck me to make up for what's missing. Just promise to let us go." Her husband's head swung toward her, as if he was as surprised as I was to hear her trying to make a deal for their freedom.

Chico growled deep in his throat. "Down." Just then, Mark came in the back door. He was empty handed, but he was grinning from ear to ear.

"What's so funny?"

"I thought I heard our prisoner says that we get to fuck the two of them."

"Only one of you guys gets to fuck her." All three heads in the garage turned to Jansen. Mark laughed out loud. It was a private joke that not many people knew the punchline to, but he had no intention of keeping it a secret.

"That's okay, you stupid fuck wad. Not that you're in any position to barter on how many people get to fuck your old lady, but just remember, she's the one that offered up the pussy." Mark grinned and got closer to Jansen. When he did, he crouched down and looked at him, then started speaking again. "But there's no need for you to worry about me and her, because I'm not interested. You see, while Shawn here is fucking your old lady, you're gonna be suckin my dick."

By the look on his face, you could tell that the thief had no idea that Mark was going to say that. And from the look on Mark's face, it showed that he wasn't joking.

"Mister. I'll do it. If you just let us go...we made a mistake. Let us go and I'll do whatever you want." The girl part of the duo was very near tears. "Then you'll never see us again."

"What your name?" It was taking a long time for her to answer, so I lifted her chin with the barrel of my gun.

"Angel."

"Well Angel, I'm glad that you offered consent, but part of you sentence, will be doing "whatever we want", no matter what. At this point, Mark's partner is making calls to everyone in the neighborhood that have had their cars, trucks, sheds, garages and homes broken into. So, it might be a very long night for the both of you."

"Fuck man, come on. We'll give you everything back right now. We can take my truck to the warehouse and load it up. It might take two trips, but you'll get it all back. Just let me and my old lady go."

Mark cut the zip tie that joined Jansen's wrists and had him put his hands behind his back. He re-fastened the temporary cuffs and started to go through the thief's pockets.

"Where are the keys?"

"Angel has them."

I turned toward her and pointed the gun. "Hands up." She complied. "Anything in your pockets that's going to poke or stab me?" She shook her head no.

Going through her pockets, I realized that it had been a long while since the tips of my fingers rubbed an ass or were that close to a pussy. I wasn't sure what was causing it, but Angel's body temp was soaring. I could feel the warmth as my hands searched her body for the keys.

When I found them, I gave her another frisk just to be sure that she didn't have any weapons and it was a good thing. Angel had a hunting knife tucked into the back of her jeans, concealed under her hoodie.

"What's this for?" She shrugged her shoulders. "Plan on stabbing someone tonight?" I could only imagine how many times the knife had been used to assist them in committing a crime.

Chico growled softly. He was letting me know that someone else was approaching. Sure enough, Steve's body appeared through the door, his flashlight shining in our faces.

"Shawn, is your bear going to eat me?"

"No, you're safe." Steve looked at his first close-up view of the thieves.

"So, these are the little fuckers that have been causing the shit storm. I fucking knew it. Didn't I? I called it a long fucking time ago, didn't I? Oh, you little fuckers. We are so going to make you pay for your sins." Steve grabbed Jansen's hair and pulled back head, putting the light up to his face. "Oh baby, he's cute. Mark, we are going to have so much fun with this one."

Angel looked horrified. She finally caught on to the idea that no matter what she offered Mark and Steve, they didn't want any part of it. They wanted a piece of her husband.

I leaned in close to her and whispered, "don't worry baby, you'll be here with me, so you won't have to watch these guys when they fuck your old man in the ass".

The second part of our plan was put into motion. Steve loaded a gagged and bound Jansen into the big yellow truck, and Mark took mine. They headed to the warehouse to see what, if anything, they could retrieve. I stayed behind with Chico, keeping Angel as a bargaining chip.

Alone with Angel, I tried to get her talking.

"You guys been doing this long?" She just looked at me without giving an answer. She stood as I pulled her up from her chair. "Bet that you didn't think that your night would end up like this, did you?" Still nothing. "The problem is that no one in this world wants to work anymore. They just get too greedy and think it's easier to steal what they need." She still wasn't talking. "That's why they need to be taught a lesson. You take something from me, and I steal something from you." Not a word.

I closed the back door and locked it. I turned on the overhead light that was near my work bench. "Chico, Bereit Sein". My dog was very aware of the command. I hadn't taught it to him, it was one that he had learned in school. His fur stood on end and he moved into position by the exit. I picked up a piece of rope off my bench and hooked it over one of the beams. Looping it through the zip ties on Angel's wrists, I pulled her arms up toward the sky. "Don't pull too much, or the cuffs will tighten." She was bound and ready.

Before I even started my plan, I had wondered if Angel was cute, and luckily, she was. We had crossed paths a couple of times at the store and maybe a couple more at the park. I had never really saw her face up close, but I knew that she had a hot little body, and I was about to find out just how hot it was.