All Comments on 'The Breeder Ch. 01'

Please continue with the breeder story

This needs more asap

Pretty sure their greeting is the Blitzball victory sign

Nice and simple, but well thought out. Please keeping going

Ah yes yet another "erotic" story where the author thought it best to construct a main character blessed with the sexual endurance of a house plant, if this story was milk it couldn't even be labeled as 2% at best it's "erotic skim" I'm really not sure why there's so many of these stories that have potential (and it did btw it could have been really good imo) but after 98% backstory you read these just....embarrassingly short, unimaginative, pump pump done, cringey waste of time sex scenes I just don't understand it and lit is infested with it, makes you wonder is it laziness or lack of imagination or is this how lame sex has been for them in real life therefore they think it's normal to be able to describe a sex scene in 8 sentences? It's basically "stick it in, getting close, here come, there I go" frankly it's a waste of the readers time, don't try that "it's not everything in an erotic story" yup.. totally agree, not saying it is and wouldn't like it if it was but when it's 1% of the entire story and it's 8-10 sentences of "oh feels good, she's moving, now I'm coming" dribble... Then I'd suggest you as an author, either go and see a doctor...or go take some literary courses, now if the characters were let's say hummingbirds? Or fruitflies? then this would fit perfectly but here like all the other duds the female doesn't bat an eye, to quote The Lonely Island " I jizz right in my pants

every time your next to me

and when we're holding hands

It's like having sex to me"

"She turned to me to me that's when she said it

Looked me dead in the eyes and asked Cash or Credit

That's when I

Jizzed in my pants

It's perfectly normal

Nothing wrong with me

But we're going to need a cleanup

On aisle three

To be fair you were flirting a lot

Plus the way you bag cans got me

Bothered and hot

A breeze rolls in and I

Jizz on my pants "