The Call Girl and the Businessman Ch. 09

I felt the tightness in his chest as I surrendered to his kiss. It felt so right, so natural that I would not want it any other way. I felt him. It was the closest I had ever got to feeling him.

As if awakened suddenly, I struggled in his embrace and took a few steps back.

We were both breathing heavily.

"It'll be a kiss you'll remember, Lila. My way of saying goodbye." He said, in an unsteady voice.

"You're a good kisser. I will definitely remember that." I said.

The touch of his lips against mine was simply intoxicating.

"Are you cold?" He asked me.

His voice was terse now. It was wholly unrelated to anything we had spoken about.

"Yes." I said.

I felt the chill in the air, and I was terribly cold now although I sensed that it was my heart which felt cold and worn. Yet it could be the one excuse to launch me back into the library.

"Take my coat. Why do you have to wear such flimsy clothing?" He said, unbuttoning his double-breasted coat and practically stuffing me into the heavy fabric.

I hardly thought that my empire gown with long butterfly sleeves and layered textures flimsy. In fact I had thought it rather elegant unlike the tight black dresses I had worn during my working hours. Anyhow it was not the moment to argue with him about my attire. I tried to protest his action of trying to dress me up like a doll.

"No, Mr. Boardmann. I'll head inside now, away from all this wind." I said.

Yet his lean arms had already unceremoniously placed one of my arms into his coat sleeve and like a statue, I made no resistance as he held my other arm and stuffed me in it. How crude had I pictured this scenario. I was rather annoyed with myself for not standing up for my own free will. I liked to think of myself as strong-willed and empowered, but with him, I kind of yielded throughout our acquaintance. I felt quite safely cocooned when I was with him. I was half-hearted in saying goodbye. This was because I never liked goodbyes, I reasoned.

Then I brushed my hair back behind my ears should he feel compelled to do it again for me.

Without his coat, I saw that he wore a pale blue linen shirt which fitted just perfectly against his lean torso. His chest and abdomen looked chiselled.

Our undivided attention to each other came to an end when we heard quick footsteps and a faint voice calling out despite the howling wind.

A warm, familiar voice called me then.

"Duanphen! Duanphen!"

I knew who it was. I practically ran towards the voice without thinking. I saw a dark, tall silhouette hastening its stride towards us, and I crashed myself ungracefully into the figure.

"Lucas..." I cried.

I tried to keep my voice in check. It worked but tears had started to flow down my cheeks.

"Why didn't you tell me about your concert?" He asked, in a gentle voice.

He was speaking to me in my native Thai. I have not heard the sing-song language of my mother tongue for years. It was like music to my ears. I pictured rain in the village which no longer existed.

"I didn't know if I could pull it through. I didn't want to disappoint you. It wasn't important anyhow. I was never going to be an accomplished pianist." I said.

"You were a star. You have never disappointed me. I was hard-handed on you. Forgive my expectations of you. I pushed you too much." He said.

Lucas's voice was wrought with emotion.

I forgot that Mr. Boardmann was there, looking at the both of us, not comprehending a word that we were saying.

"Lucas, this is Mr. Boardmann. He is a client of mine." I said, reverting back to English.

And to Mr. Boardmann, I said, "This is Lucas, my friend."

Both men eyed each other rather suspiciously, but they greeted each other with sturdy handshakes. Mr. Boardmann especially looked confused and perplexed as to who exactly Lucas was.

"Both of you make the perfect musical duo. Ever think of performing again?" Lucas asked.

Mr. Boardmann relaxed his stance. He smiled and looked at me, before turning to Lucas again.

"I'll leave it to Duanphen." He said.

It was the first time he called me by my real name, and I could not help but listen to the lilt of his voice as he tried to pronounce it in Thai.

"Both of you, do come and visit me, and Duanphen, do perform with your fellow musician again. The piano has always been waiting for you at home." Lucas said.

"He came to me for sex. I don't want to complicate matters." I said.

I spoke rapidly to Lucas in Thai. I had always been very honest with Lucas. He did not judge me for my decisions. He understood me.

"But the music was heavenly. Would you let your old man have a little indulgence in this?" Lucas asked.

"Of course, Lucas, you deserve more than just a little indulgence. I will visit you." I said.

"You will come home. We have to talk about what happened." Lucas said.

"Okay." I said.

Although I had kept in touch with Lucas by phone calls, we have not met each other in a year. After my liquor and drug-fuelled days, I felt guilty about it and severed ties with him. It had been gradual. It had pained me a lot. Finally last year, I stopped visiting him altogether.

He was a social worker whom I first came into contact with twelve years ago. I had then ended up under the umbrellas of the welfare system after my so-called husband abandoned me for good. His family had refused to accept me. They believed me to be a gold-digger and an opportunist. It was not far from the truth. I did not love him and I knew that he was only infatuated by my body. We were both making use of the other. I came into this country by marrying a much older man who only viewed me as an object of sexual gratification.

I had wanted a better life for myself. I had wanted a way out, and many of the sex workers seemed to do that. So I just did what they did. It seemed then that it was the only way out of poverty. I had a better life here. But I felt so much remorse over what I had done.

Lucas was the kind, fatherly figure who took me under his wing. He could already speak some Thai and I found it easier to communicate with him in my own language. My command of English was not too bad though. Somewhere along the way, I found that I had a flair for languages, but when I heard the language of my childhood, I was immediately won over by Lucas. He had helped me through the years. He encouraged me to study and have a career, which I did, until I broke the cycle three years ago.

Since we were speaking in Thai, we had forgotten that Mr. Boardmann was cluelessly awaiting an answer.

"Are you familiar with pop hits from the nineties? I'm saying this more because I know how to play the songs by heart. They were music from my childhood and I can remember them best." I said, turning to Mr. Boardmann.

"Try me. You have not seen the best of me yet, Lila." He said.

He was back to calling me Lila.

There was a lively look in his eyes. He was accepting the challenge to sing, I thought. What a show-off.

"Saturday afternoon. Two o'clock?" Lucas asked.

He turned to Mr. Boardmann. He scribbled down the address for him on the concert brochure. Mr. Boardmann never stopped beaming after he got the address.

I remembered this night very clearly for it was the first time we all got together in this setting. All the people whom I had known here in the suburbs were here. The three of us headed back into the library. I remembered Penelope praising me and saying that she did not know that music was another talent which I possessed so well. Cherie was ecstatic that the library would now stay open due to the overwhelming support.

I saw from the corner of my eyes that both Mr. Boardmann and Gerald were in deep discussion while I was occupied with Cherie. I knew then that my secrets would not stay intact for too long. I just wished that I could bottle up this moment in an hourglass and relive it anytime I want, because I knew things were going to be different the next day.

And Mr. Boardmann - he appeared to be enjoying himself that night. Due to the extensive publicity this event had generated, it was only a matter of time that he encountered Clara and her partner, Thomas. He smiled at her graciously and she at him. She was a beauty; fair and slim with blue eyes; the colour of a clear afternoon sky. She had a sharp nose, which accentuated the contours of her graceful face. Her lips were full and her cheeks were rosy. Her hair was the colour of gold. As I glanced into her face, I saw an air of elegance and confidence in her eyes.

She placed her arms around him and kissed him on his cheeks thrice; left-right-left- asymmetrically. But was it not the golden rule that kisses have to symmetrical? I watched as Mr. Boardmann's arms drew around hers instantly to reciprocate her kisses.

After she let go of him, he turned to me.

"Lila, let me introduce you to Clara. Clara, this is Lila." He had said.

Clara smiled as she made her way towards me by planting airy kisses on both sides of my cheeks. I kissed her back, although I would have preferred if we had just shook hands.

"You played extremely well. I loved the first piece - the Scent before Rain." She said.

"Thank you." I said.

I answered politely and smiled a standard smile.

It was an awkward moment after that because we both did not speak and Mr. Boardmann was just gazing from one of us to the other and back again.

"You look stunning in this dress." I said.

I broke the ice by speaking about the most obvious- the way she was dressed. She was wearing a black gown with sequined, sparkly beads. It made her look very distinguished. Her golden hair was raised in a chignon up-do and it matched her dangling gold earrings perfectly.

She smiled.

"I cannot say the same about yours though." She said.

Although she still smiled, her voice was a little sharper, causing me to look down. Belatedly I realised that I wore his coat still, and uncomfortably under her amused gaze, I removed it. My eyes fluttered to his big, warm hands as I handed him back his coat.

"Thank you." I said to him, in a kind of mumble.

Our hands had lightly touched again.

"I'm glad it's warmer inside." He replied back, kindly.

"Your dress is one of its kind. You are bringing back vintage dresses into fashion." She said.

She smiled at me, but I was not sure though whether she was making fun of my dress in an upper-class stinging way. I recalled television shows like Downton Abbey where the British upper class do not argue; rather they show their displeasure in a roundabout way.

"I am hardly a trendsetter. Anyone who follows me does so at their own risk." I said.

Now I had just answered brashly but honestly. I thought my dress was beautiful alright, but it was of muslin and lace. It paled in comparison to the sparkly Christmas tree that Clara was wearing. It surely drew a lot of attention from other people, especially men. When we were talking, they had gathered around us. I did not think that they gathered because of me, or did they?

She laughed a high-pitched laugh.

"So how do you know Matthias here?" She asked.

"He is my client." I said, without batting an eyelid.

I took in in my stride to answer before Mr. Boardmann could say something weirder than I had to say but Mr. Boardmann's eyes became larger by the second. His eyes gripped mine with incomprehension. Looking completely unearthed and out of his comfort zone, he intervened.

"What Lila meant to say was that..." He began, in a hushed voice.

I wondered if he were ashamed of me, of who I really was. If he was, this was the time for me to find out. But did I really want to find out when I knew the consequences would not change how I felt about everything?

"I know what she meant, Matthias dear." Clara said, in a sly voice.

I felt a sting in my heart when she called him Matthias dear. Of course, they had seven years together and she knew him probably too well. Yet I felt uncomfortable when she called him in her own affectionate term. What could I say when I had pointedly refused to call him by his first name?

Mr. Boardmann looked at her, stupefied. Clara turned towards me.

"Lila, I do not know you personally but I have heard of you in social circles. Your name is synonymous with businessmen in the city and now, I believed you have widened your expertise to the suburbs, is that right?" Clara said, raising her eyebrows at me.

I smiled slightly. She was definitely exaggerating. There were many, many businessmen in the city and many, many others like me who could provide them with similar services at competitive rates.

"I am not aware that I am so well-known as I am not comfortable with attention." I said.

Arching out her elegant neck towards me, she let out a high-pitched laugh.

"You're hilarious. You're doing the direct opposite. Getting yourself in the limelight like that is a smart move to promote yourself. So now you're moonlighting as a pianist?" She asked.

She drawled out her words in what I would call a condescending manner. It was difficult to warm up to her, try as I might for Mr. Boardmann's sake. He had introduced us for a reason, and I wanted to understand both his and her motivations better. I wanted to see what was it which made them click in the first place. It was certainly none of my business but I had already made his affairs my business.

She laughed that high-pitched laugh again as she brushed me lightly on my shoulder.

Mr. Boardmann looked out of himself but he did say something, presumably in my defence.

"It doesn't matter, does it? Lila was helping out a friend to raise funds for the upkeep of the library. In fact, I thought that it was very noble of Lila to do so even though she's rather shy. Even I could not get her to play the piano for me when it was just the both of us." Mr. Boardmann said.

He now turned towards me, and there was a tenderness in his eyes which brought a lump to my throat. Unconsciously I moved closer towards him, and he had me rapidly wrapped around his arms.

"Still cold, eh?" He whispered, only for me to hear.

I peered at his face; saw the tenderness inherent. I gave Mr. Boardmann an appreciative smile. He held my gaze upon his and in an instant I felt shy; looking down at the polished marble floor. I could almost see a striking resemblance of my silhouette reflecting back at me, and of Mr. Boardmann who was looking at our reflections.

I felt validated somehow. I did not feel second best. Not with Mr. Boardmann. Not now anyway.

I did not hear Clara saying anything but I had rather felt her intense stare on me.

"What I am trying to say simply is that there is nothing wrong with vying for attention, as long as you are honest with yourself. I love attention and I have always been honest about it, haven't I not, Matthias?" She said haltingly to Mr. Boardmann.

I deliberated on her statement. I could not gauge if she was implying that I had been dishonest with him, or just perhaps I was terribly biased against her, and anything she said was viewed from a negative perspective.

"The truth was that I did not think much about it except to get over my fear of performing in public. I made a promise to my friend and I intended to keep it." I said, in a quiet voice.

I spoke from my heart. I was constantly learning more about myself each passing day. I was getting braver again and I had learnt to trust the flow of life more and this meant trusting people around me too.

"You had performed beautifully. I love to hear you play." Mr. Boardmann said to me.

He looked proud of me and his pride caused my cheeks to flush a crimson red; I was sure of it.

"Don't forget me. Do count me in, Lila." Clara said.

Yet her voice was shrill and she had her eyes pinned upon Mr. Boardmann instead of me. I felt rather confused with her behaviour.

"Lila has just moved to the suburbs four months ago. I found out for myself that the suburb is a really beautiful place, do you think so, Clara?" Mr. Boardmann asked.

He was clearly trying to change the subject.

"Of course it is. The nightlife is wild; that's what I like best. It is so much better than in the city because it's less regulated." Clara said.

"I like the nature here, especially since we are so close to the sea." I said, thinking it right that I should say something pleasant and non-committal.

"I had been able to gain perspective and insight about my life since I arrived here." Mr. Boardmann said.

He gazed at me affectionately. I remembered the day we brought the moonstone rings together. It had been a sweet, memorable day. I had him in my bed that night, as platonic as it had been.

Clara changed the topic again.

"You have developed quite a reputation with clients over the years. Thomas hired you, did he not?" Clara asked me.

She skimmed for Thomas through the crowd. He was taking his time with procuring himself some finger food and champagne at the side of the hall.

She had an inquisitive look about her now.

"Yes. We had quite a long discussion about the pros and cons of pursuing the matter. It was difficult to handle in the beginning, but we took a risk and the rest was history." I said, with a smile.

I thought of how relieved I was after I was done and over with it. Thomas and I had discussed the options and possibilities; navigating through grey areas which had no precedent. It was definitely hard work. It paid off when Thomas got what he had wanted.

Mr. Boardmann gasped. He looked at me in shock.

"Lila, you were with Thomas?" He muttered, more to himself than to me.

I nodded.

The look in his eyes told me that he was genuinely hurt. I had no reason to disclose to him my previous clients from a long gone era. Up until now, there was no situation which needed me to explain my past. Therefore I had never dwelled into details of my past. I wanted to tell him the whole truth now, but I could not do so in front of Clara. I still had this ounce of pride in me which I wanted to hold up to, right up to the final stand.

"Until today, Thomas never stops speaking about how grateful he is for how much you went out of your way. Without you, he would have lost it all, and for that, I am also indebted to you." Clara said to me.

Although her words were sweet, the tone of her voice was somewhat flat.

Mr. Boardmann turned to look at Clara now. It seemed that he could not follow the conversation at all. He looked more muddled by the passing second. Perhaps he had come to his own divergent conclusion about what we were talking about.

"I have loads of clients whom I can gladly introduce to you should you be interested." Clara said, as a matter of fact.

"Thank you. I will consider it on a case to case basis. It's been some time since I had practice and I am rather rusty, I'm afraid." I said.

Mr. Boardmann looked aghast at Clara's proposal to me. He turned as white as a sheet. He looked at me in a strange way and then at Clara in disbelief.

"You have heard what Lila said. She doesn't want new clients." He said.

He had proceeded to answer on my behalf. I found it quite endearing that he would be possessive of me. In my heart I had always known that he was a very possessive man who always got what he wanted.

"I did not say that Mr. Boardmann. I just do not know if I have the expertise to accommodate to their high expectations of me." I said.

Gently, I lay my eyes on his. I hoped that he would understand that Clara and I were talking about something that he had no prior knowledge of.

"I know what you mean, Lila. It takes time to hone up your skills again. Anyhow, here is my card, and let me know." She said.

She passed me her business card from the clutch which she had carried with her. I accepted it and held on to it, as I did not have a clutch today. I had a whole sling bag of heavy piano books which I had not utilized because I had already memorized the music by heart.