The Camgirl Pt. 11: Choco Insomnia

XI: Blake and Liam

Blake

Sleep, it turned out, did not want Blake as much as she wanted it. Not tonight.

Her mind just wouldn't quiet. Even curled up next to Chloe as she was, feeling safe and warm beneath the blankets in her friend's embrace, the knot in her stomach hadn't left completely. It certainly hadn't helped that she'd been able to hear Liam and Marie going at it when she and Chloe got back. Blake's friend, wonderful as always, had rushed them into her room and given her a hug and a kiss. Blake had almost been weak enough to kiss her back. It wouldn't have been a big deal, not normally. She and Chloe still made out occasionally, usually when alcohol was involved, or to fuck with boys, but they never let it get emotional, and Blake was still far too emotional for that right now.

With a muffled huff, she carefully extracted herself from the blankets and Chloe's arms, making sure not to wake her friend.

I need chocolate. Chocolate and sleepy-time tea.

Blake threw on a hoodie over her blue thong and knee-highs and quietly stepped out into the apartment's main space. It was dark, but her eyes had adjusted enough, and there was enough ambient light through the for her to see. It was also quiet, thankfully. Liam and Marie seemed to have finally fallen asleep, and Sophie hardly ever came out of her room save for class, food, and the gym. The girl was nice, but she seemed to just forget that people existed every now and then. With her Poly-sci and English double major, Blake couldn't really blame her, though.

Rather than use the noisy coffee machine to brew her tea, Blake filled a sauce pot and set it atop the stove, then got some chocolate from her private stash. The chocolates probably would have been safer if kept in her room, but Blake knew the limits of her self-control, and chocolate significantly strained her will power. Her appearance was large part of her meal ticket for the time being, and chub and acne wouldn't exactly help that.

After retrieving a few chocolate squares from her stash, Blake unwrapped one and took a bite. A soft moan escaped her lips at the sweetness of the milk chocolate and the dripping salted caramel that oozed from within. Blake closed her eyes and leaned back against the fridge, savoring the taste of each bite as she nibbled her way through the square.

Yeah...definitely better than sex.

A soft click from across the room made Blake's heart jump into her throat, and she dashed to put herself between the chocolates on the counter and the rest of the room. Marie would not know she had sweets stashed somewhere in the kitchen.

It wasn't Marie who crept out into the main room, closing the door just as quietly as he had opened it, but Liam. This one time, Blake thought she would have preferred Marie.

Once the door was closed, Liam looked around the room, and gave a start, blinking when his eyes settled on her. She gave a nervous wave, "Hey."

Liam started to say something, but a yawn interrupted him, and he raised a hand to his mouth, stretching as he did so.

Blake's cheeks went hot at the motion, and even hotter when a strangled noise rose up from her throat.

Dammit, Liam! I do not need to see any of that!

Liam, likely not expecting anyone else to be awake, had left Marie's room wearing only his boxers. Boxer briefs to be specific. Tight ones. And it seemed he was a show-er.

Fuck, for Marie's sake I hope he's a show-er.

The rest of him wasn't helping either. According to Liam, he'd been thin as a rail when he'd met Marie, but she wouldn't have known it now. He didn't have the body of an athlete, no rippling abs or anything that appeared chiseled, but he didn't have a lot of fat on him either. Chest and broad shoulders weren't oversized, but still pretty heavy with muscle that continued on down his arms. Long arms. And legs.

Mmm, he's so tall.

"Blake?"

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Did he catch me staring? Oh please say he caught me starting at his chest instead of his cock.

"Sorry, what?" she asked with a feigned half-yawn.

"I asked what you were doing up," he said, then looked to her right, raising an eyebrow, "You cooking something?"

Blake frowned for a moment, then followed Liam's gaze.

"Oh, no. Sleepy-time tea. Can't sleep."

Blake thought she caught Liam grin at "sleepy-time," but then his brows drew together, "Everything alright?"

Blake forced a smiled, "Yeah, just one of those nights. What are you doing up?"

He scrubbed a hand through his hair, "Uh bathroom. Drank a bit too much before bed."

"Well, don't wait on me."

Liam stood there for a moment, expression unreadable, then hurried over to the bathroom. Once the door clicked shut, Blake finally unclenched, slumping back against the countertop.

Fuck. Fucking fuck.

Blake hastily unwrapped another chocolate square and bit off half this time, not caring that some of the caramel oozed out and stuck to her bottom lips. It didn't work as well as the last one had. She put a hand to her head.

What's happening to me? I used to be able to handle my shit. Tonight, wasn't the first time that's happened, and it definitely won't be the last. So why does it bother me so much? It's not that I imagined Liam. I shouldn't have done that, but Liam's definitely gotten off to me at least a handful of times before, and I told both him and Marie not to feel jealous about that. Ugh.

After drawing in a deep breath, Blake took another bite of her chocolate. Smaller this time. She was so out of it she didn't hear the toilet flush.

***

Liam

Liam readjusted himself in his boxers once more as he walked back toward the apartment's main area. He'd woken up about fifteen minutes ago, lying in bed for most of it until he knew his body wouldn't let him go back to sleep with a full bladder.

He'd almost crept out naked, or with just one of Marie's towels around his waist, but he should have put on sweats. He knew how tight his boxers were, and it had taken about two whole seconds of looking at Blake to get him to half-mast, on his way to full.

I really hope it was too dark for her to see.

She was wearing thigh-highs again. Did she know he had a thing for those? And blue ones, too. The hoodie she wore was long, but he had guessed she likely threw that on, so she didn't have to wear much else. Did she even have any underwear on?

No, stop it, you just it to go down, and it's shitty to think of her that way just because she cams.

When Liam rounded the corner, he found Blake slumped back against the counter. Something small and shining lay behind her on the surface, and she was holding something up to her lips, eyes distant.

"What's that?" He asked.

Blake jumped, a half-squeak, half-gasp escaping from her lips as she did so. One hand flashed up toward her mouth while the other swept across the countertop, and both were behind her back just as quickly.

"Nothing," she said, unable to disguise her full mouth.

Liam raised an eyebrow, "Midnight snack?"

Blake stared at him for a moment, eyes shining in the dim light, then sighed and brought out one of her hands from behind her back. It held a square in shiny wrapping.

"Chocolate?"

She nodded, defeatedly, then her eyes narrowed, "If you tell Marie I have these, I will do unspeakable things to both of you."

Liam gave the girl another quizzical look, then drew a finger across his lips and made a twisting motion, "She won't hear a thing."

Blake's expression melted into a smile, but something was off. It may have just been a trick of the light, but Liam thought there was a tightness to the girl's features.

He moved closer, and held back a frown when that tightness didn't go away.

"You okay?"

Blake didn't respond immediately. She bit her lip, seeming on the edge of speaking, then her eyes darted to the left and she started.

"Shit, water's boiling!"

She turned to get something from the cabinets, but Liam stepped deftly around her, putting himself in her way. Blake blinked at the movement.

"Take your chocolate and go sit down on the couch," he said, handing her the still-wrapped square, "I'll get the tea."

Blake hesitated for a moment, lips forming a slight pout, but at a look from Liam, she sighed and trudged over to the couch.

Liam looked after her for a moment.

Yeah, something's definitely up.

Liam turned off the stove, then brought two cups down from the cabinet, along with a bag of the sleep-aid tea. Sleepy-time tea. Liam grinned at Blake's name for it.

Once he'd poured himself a glass of cold water, and Blake a mug of tea with a spoon and napkin for taking out the teabag, he made his way over to the couch to join her. When Liam saw her, he almost sighed. He and Blake hadn't seen each other much over the past few weeks outside of class and walking to and from it due to increasing workloads and Marie's increasingly voracious appetites on Liam's part, but he liked to think he knew enough about the blue-haired girl to know when something was off.

Blake liked to curl up on the couch when they talked to studied, but her posture was still open, inviting. Now, she looked as though she was trying to hide in that corner, despite the smile she gave when he handed her the hot mug and took a seat on the opposite end of the couch, giving her some space.

Liam took a sip of water, then stopped when a glance at Blake caught a confused expression on her face.

"What are you doing?"

Liam finished his sip and set the water down on the coffee table.

"Didn't you just go to the bathroom?" she asked.

Liam shrugged, "Doesn't mean I'm not thirsty."

"But why—"

"You look like you could use some company," he said, "You look like you're ready to pass out, but you're up. Something's on your mind. If you don't want to talk about it, that's fine. We can talk about something else or just sit here in semi-awkward silence while you drink your tea and finish your chocolate."

That got a smile out of her, and Liam tried to return a warm smile.

"I also might have missed you, a bit," he said, "What with actually having schoolwork now, and Ma—"

Liam cut off feeling his cheeks go hot as he remembered his roommates' reactions to the lesser amount of time he spent in his own room.

"Because Marie jumps your bones every chance she can get?" Blake supplied, hiding a no-doubt amused smile behind her mug.

Liam scrubbed a hand through his hair, "That's one way to put it."

"It's always the tightly-wound ones," Blake giggled.

Liam coughed at the blue-haired girl's emphasis on "tight," eliciting a soft laugh from her. He couldn't keep the red from his cheeks but didn't really care as much this time. He'd wanted to make her laugh.

"I'm guessing I have you to thank for that in some way?"

Liam had his answer when Blake's eyes widened. He laughed, "Do I even want to know what you did?"

Blake was silent for a moment, and Liam thought she must be blushing. She took a tentative sip of her tea before answering, sounding more composed, "She had a bit of baggage in that department because her ex was a prick, but I told her she had to just relax and try being more comfortable with herself, and that getting some a little more often might help with those two."

Liam snorted, "Well, thanks. I had to help her over a few other hurdles Dan left behind, but never realized that was one of them."

Silence stretched between them as Liam took another sip of water, but it was more comfortable than awkward. Like when he was with his roommates or friends back home. Blake took another tentative sip of her tea, then reached toward the table to remove the teabag. Liam took the moment to study his friend. She seemed a bit more relaxed, but still restrained in some way. As she leaned toward the table, Liam had to pull his eyes away from her. She'd spread her legs a bit, showing that she had in fact worn underwear under her hoodie.

Thank God.

"What about you?" Liam asked.

Blake raised an eyebrow, settling back into the couch in a way that made her seem more fully clothed. That in turn, made Liam remember that her wore only boxers. He almost shifted or reached for a blanket but didn't want Blake to read anything into it.

"What about me?" Blake asked.

"Were you like Marie?" he asked, then went wide-eyed, "Not tightly wound, I mean. Were you always comfortable with yourself and sex and all that stuff, or was it something you had to adjust to when you started camming?"

Liam winced as Blake frowned, just staring at him for a moment.

"It was definitely an adjustment," Blake said, "I'd always been comfortable with myself, hanging out in my room with little or no clothes, taking care of things when I needed to. Though I mostly wore something like this when I was just lazing around unless I'd just taken a shower. Camming was different, though. It's different when the entire internet can see you, especially your face. I was so scared that I almost didn't do it, but my friend Chloe helped me when I told her I needed to do it."

Liam bit his lip. Blake's answer had just raised more questions—he hadn't heard her mention Chloe before, and what made her need to do it besides money?—but Blake's voice had sounded tight again, and she'd scrunched up upon herself. Liam steered the conversation toward less loaded topics, like their classes and upcoming midterms, super hero movies, harmless stuff.

It seemed to make Blake feel a bit more at ease, but not entirely, and soon the conversation lulled again.

"How do you do it?" She breathed.

Liam raised an eyebrow, "Do what?"

Blake blinked, and for a moment Liam thought that the blue-haired girl hadn't realized that she'd voiced her question.

"You've never judged me," she said slowly, "Never even made me feel like you were. Not for a second."

Liam barely stopped from nodding to himself. Or frowning. So that's what's keeping her up tonight.

"You never make fun of me for what I do, never made me feel like a whore, never even made me feel like you pity me for needing to do it, or for the negative attention I get. You're so protective and always seem to know when I'm okay with talking about it or when I just can't, like tonight. You've never even called me Cherry, not even accidentally. Why? Why are you like this?"

Liam sighed, scrubbing a hand through his hair, "It's nice to know I'm at least half as good as I try to be."

"Half?"

Liam held up a hand but said nothing. He knew he was chewing his lip as he tried to get his thoughts in order and couldn't help taking a deep breath before he finally spoke.

"I was kind of a dick in high school. I wasn't a bully or someone most people would think of as an asshole, but I could be pretty self-centered, condescending, or just...someone who didn't always think. I was considered a nice guy at the time though, because in that school's culture, I was. Some good friends I've had that didn't go to school with me would call me on my shit and make me better, and once I wasn't in that bubble every day, I realized how badly I could treat people without even realizing it. I've never slut-shamed anyone to their face, but I've done it in off-hand comments to friends for laughs, or just as an internal snap judgement, and the more I became aware of it, the more I hated it. I still do it sometimes, but even before I met you, I stopped trying to judge people I didn't know unless they did something really shitty in general or to one of my friends. Sex in particular is one of the worst things you can judge someone for—something no one should get judged for—but it's one of the more outward things that you can judge someone for, because no one seems to have a completely healthy understanding of their own sexuality, much less anyone else's." Liam looked up and met Blake's gaze, "You're probably much healthier in that respect than most people, given that you're basically just a normal person, yet instead of applauding you, people will either objectify you or vilify you."

"Why didn't you?" She asked, her voice small.

"I didn't, but I did," Liam admitted, struggling not to drop his eyes, "I don't think of any hot girl or porn star as a sex doll, not in those terms at least. It's more—"

Liam stopped himself, very aware of just how many feet he was likely to stick in his mouth should he continue that line of thought.

"When I met you though," he said instead, "You weren't just someone on a screen who I would never know and who never knew me. You were a real person. And I—I just think that everyone has to deal with so much toxic shit nowadays, and I would rather be there to help someone deal with that if they need to instead of being a part of it."

"So, you're basically just stupidly good, and try to be even better," Blake observed.

Liam shrugged, shooting the girl a smile, "If I ever admit to that, I'll have my two best friends breaking down the door to deflate my head. I try though."

Blake gave a barely perceptible nod as silence filled the space between them. Liam studied her for a moment, then rose from his seat. Blake blinked, looking up at him, and her eyes widened as he sat down next to her.

Liam hoped he wasn't making a mistake, but decided just to go for it, and pulled Blake's huddled form against him into a hug. For a moment, the blue-haired girl went rigid. Then she relaxed against him.

A few unwanted thoughts floated through Liam's mind at having Blake so close to him, but he forced them away. Sometimes people just needed a hug.

Liam glanced down and realized Blake was looking up at him.

"How—" she began, then stopped, gave him a tight smile, "You're a really good friend, Liam."

Liam returned the smile, "I hope so." He paused, "Do you want to talk about what happened?"

Blake tensed for a moment, dropping her gaze to her knees, then relaxed again when Liam squeezed her shoulder, "I'm sorry. Like I said, if you don't want to, that's fine. I just don't like seeing my friends like this."

"Yeah, I doubt your friends look good in thigh-highs and a hoodie."

Liam snorted, and grinned when he found Blake smiling up at him. After a few moments though, she dropped her gaze again and seemed to try and burrow into him and the couch.

"I went out tonight with Chloe," she said, voice almost too soft to hear, "She's a good wingwoman. I've just been stressed and frustrated because—because of school and stuff, so I decided to take some of the advice I gave Marie and go get laid. The girl I chose to hook up with at the club ended up being a fan, and just blew me off when I asked if she wanted to go back to her place."

"Huh," Liam said feigning a frown.

"What?"

He shrugged, "I just didn't know you were gay."

Blake raised an eyebrow, "And?"

Liam shook his head, "I don't know if we can be friends anymore. Doing cam shows is one thing, but now that I know you would rather eat pussy than suck a dick, I just don't know if we can really relate to—Ow. Hey!"

Blake glared at him, brandishing her fist with the threat of a second punch, "I'm bi, asshole."

Liam grinned, forcing away the unwanted relief those words brought, "Well then everything's good, then, we can talk about dicks again."

"Mhm," Blake grunted, "Cuz we do that so often."

Still grinning, Liam squeezed his friend again, "I'm sorry about tonight. Can't say I've been there, but I'm definitely familiar with rejection."

Blake raised an eyebrow, "Yeah, sure."

Liam almost rose to the bait, but decided against it, "Feeling any better now?"

Blake nodded, "A little. Thank you. I needed this."

"Needed what?"

"To feel...comfortable again. Safe. I've learned to deal with shit pretty well on my own. From my shows and just, in general, but sometimes I just need a little help. Chloe's good at it, but there's just something different about having a guy help."