The Camgirl Pt. 35

XXXV: I Need You

Blake and Liam

Blake

Blake was on her way back from the gym when her phone buzzed. She frowned as she fished it out of her yoga pants, then froze when she saw Liam's name above the message. She immediately moved out of the middle of the sidewalk and leaned against the fence overlooking one of the lowered parking lots off the main avenue. This one had a large mural covering one of the walls. She thought it might have been a student project. Blake shook herself, looking down at her phone. As she opened her it, Blake realized she was biting her lip.

Liam:

Hey. I know things have been weird lately. I don't like that, and I miss you. Can you meet me near HoJo later so we can talk?

Blake smiled despite her nervousness.

Blake:

Sure. When were you thinking?

Liam:

Your last class is over at 6:30, right? Does 6:45 work?

Blake:

That's perfect.

As that last text sent, Blake's eyes widened for a moment. She worried that that last text had been too weird, but Liam responded right away.

Liam:

See you then :)

Blake sighed, sagging against the wall. She couldn't help smiling.

He doesn't hate me.

Blake wanted to laugh. She knew she was probably reading a bit too far into things, and her mind wanted to overanalyze the texts and delve even deeper, but she knew Liam didn't hate her. He wouldn't have faked being pleasant with her if he did.

Maybe I won't go out tonight.

Taking a deep, satisfied breath, Blake pushed herself off the wall, then resumed her walk back to her apartment. She made it only a few steps before pausing again, eyes going wide.

She pulled her phone back out and looked at the time.

Fuck! I need to get ready now!

Blake took off for her apartment at a run, for once, not caring how much attention she drew to herself.

***

Liam

Liam paced nervously on the sidewalk outside his dorm, resisting the urge to check his phone again.

She's coming straight from class, and you got here early, calm down.

Liam had sat on the nearby bench for a bit. About 30 seconds. He still didn't know exactly what he was going to say to Blake. Most of him was just excited to see her again. He hadn't lied when he'd told her he missed her.

Taking a deep breath, Liam brought his hands to his face, then scrubbed one through his hair.

I really hope I don't fuck this up.

"Liam?"

Liam jumped at the sound of his name, whipping around to a wide-eyed Blake staring up at him. He relaxed a bit at the sight of her, smiling, but his eyes widened further as he drank her in.

She looked incredible, even more so than usual. Her blue hair was barely visible, all tucked up under her red beanie. It added to the bundled-up look she seemed to be going for, with a dark grey scarf bundled around the collar of her navy peacoat, and thick leggings sticking out the bottom to cover her legs. Liam knew it had to be something with make-up that made her eyes look so inviting, but he had no clue exactly what his friend had done. Her lips seemed a deeper red than usual.

"Thanks," she said, rosy cheeks darkening a bit.

Liam blinked, then remembered what he'd said: You look incredible.

He smiled nervously, running a hand through his hair again, "Uh, you're welcome." He hadn't realized he'd spoken that thought.

"So, are we just going to sit out here?" She asked, eyeing the bench.

Liam shook his head, "No--no, of course not. Way too cold. I figured we could walk over to Baystate and find an empty study room, or we could go up to my room if you don't want to walk that far. Eli is going to be out studying for a bit, and Swar just left for class.

Blake studied him for a moment, then nodded toward Liam's dorm, "Let's go up to your room. It's too cold out to walk all the way down to Baystate."

Liam smiled and led her up to the dorm entrance. They swiped in, then rode the elevator up. Neither of them spoke. It was a little awkward, but not entirely.

Once Liam opened the door to his room, he froze, remembering how messy it was. He hadn't actually expected Blake to come up.

"Uh, Liam?" She asked from behind, poking him in the back and making him start, "You gonna let me in?"

"Yeah," Liam sighed, shifting so Blake could move past him, "It's just a little messy, sorry."

Blake snorted as she walked into the room and shrugged off her coat, unravelling her scarf. She sat down on the chair beneath his bed, hanging the coat over the back, "Honestly, not as bad as I expected considering you're a comp-sci major and you live with two other dudes."

Liam smiled nervously, taking off his own coat, "Thanks, I guess."

Blake looked even more incredible. She'd worn a long, cozy-looking sweater-dress under her coat that somehow clung to her form and gave ample room for bundling up at once. It looked very good on her.

He cleared his throat, looking away, then walked over and grabbed Swar's chair, pulling it over toward Blake before taking a seat, "So..."

"So," Blake said, nodding.

"I'm--"

They both started at the same time, then paused, the awkwardness finally setting in.

"You go first," Liam said.

Blake looked down for a moment, her mouth drawing to a thin line.

"I miss you," she said.

Liam blinked, tensing at the slight waver in her voice.

"I'm really sorry for what happened," she said, "I know I said that last time, but I mean it." She looked into his eyes, "I'm so sorry. I knew it was a bad idea, and I didn't stop myself. I wanted to tell you immediately--"

Blake cut off with a sniff and a deep shuddering breath. She looked him in the eyes again, "I just want to be friends again. I miss sitting with you in class or at lunch or walking with you after class. I--I know I fucked up, and I don't have a good excuse for it. I don't expect you to forgive me, but I hope you can try not to hate me."

Blake's voice broke on the last few words.

Before Liam realized that he'd moved, he was kneeling next to the chair, hugging Blake to him with one hand while he stroked her hair with the other.

Damnit.

Liam had been so afraid of saying the wrong thing or not being able to control his emotions when he did finally talk to Blake, that he'd fucked up by simply not talking to her soon enough.

"Blake," he whispered, "I could never hate you."

She sniffed again and pulled back a bit. Her eyes were wide and misty, but she wasn't crying. Liam didn't know if he would be able to handle being the one that made her cry.

"You're not just saying that?" She asked.

He shook his head, "Blake, aside from my roommates and my friend Mark that I know from back home, you're really the only other close friend I have here. Honestly, you might be my best friend I've made since coming to college."

Liam grunted in surprise as Blake threw her arms around his neck, burying her face in his chest.

"Thank you," she whispered, "Thank you for not hating me. I'm so sorry Liam."

Liam sighed, hugging her back, "Blake, I'm sorry I gave you the silent treatment. I just had a lot of feelings toward you that I was trying to work out and was afraid I might say the wrong thing just because I was upset when I didn't really mean it. I really didn't mean to hurt you."

"Stop apologizing, Liam," Blake said, pulling back a bit to meet his eyes, "I'm the one that fucked up, and I'm the one that read into things too much. You were just slightly less than perfect for once."

Liam snorted and found himself grinning at Blake. She grinned back, teeth sparkling white between plush ruby lips. There was something else...

"Do you smell different?" Liam asked, only vaguely registering the weirdness of the question. Blake really was beautiful.

She shrugged, "I've started wearing perfume when I go out. Do you like it?"

"Yeah--"

Liam cut off, realizing how close his face was to Blakes. How he couldn't stop looking at her lips. How it felt like those lips were pulling him in.

He stumbled back, straightening, and immediately regretted it.

Fuck!

"Liam!"

"I'm okay," he lied, clutching at the back of his head. He hadn't hit it too hard, just right against the metal railing of the bed. Fuck, it hurt, though, a dull throbbing in the back of his head, "Just hand me something from the freezer?"

He held out his hand, rubbing at the back of his head with the other, and a moment later, something freezing dropped into his hand. He raised the bottle and pressed it to the back of his head, wincing at both the cold and the contact.

"You sure you'll be alright?" Blake asked, "Maybe take a shot of that rum to help with the pain."

That didn't sound like the worst idea...

The memory of his face so close to Blake's, her lips drawing him in, flashed in Liam's mind. He could still smell her perfume.

Nope, I don't need anything else messing with my head right now.

"I'll be alright," he assured her, lowering himself down into the chair.

Blake sat back in the one she'd taken--pushing it out from under the lofted bed--and quirked an eyebrow at him.

"I'm fine," he said again.

She nodded slowly, "Are we fine? You said I was your friend, but...friends can be pissed at one another sometimes."

Liam sighed, "We are. There are still some feelings I need to work out...I just don't know how to put all of them into words."

"You don't know how to put them into words at all?" Blake asked, "Or you just don't know how to put them into words you're sure won't hurt me?"

Liam sighed, "A little of both?"

Blake frowned, "That honestly might be worse in the long run." She paused, looking down and biting her lip, "I--I'm not a porcelain doll, Liam. I'm your friend. You're supposed to be able to tell me what you're feeling, so just try. Please?"

Liam sighed, scratching at his head with his free hand as he thought. When the words came out, he couldn't meet Blake's eyes.

"I want you to be my friend, Blake--you are my friend despite all this." He forced himself to meet her eyes, "But friends don't sleep with each other's girlfriends. Not good friends, anyway."

Liam braced himself for Blake's reaction. He saw a flash of something in her eyes and caught her clutching at the hem of her sweater. Other than that, her face remained smooth, "I know. I fucked up. Is that all you want to tell me?"

Liam bit his tongue, straightening from the chair, "No. I mean--"

"Liam," Blake's voice was soft, but firm, "Say what you need to say to me, then tell me what I can do to either make it up to you or help you move on. I don't care what it is. I'll do anything."

Liam blinked at his friend, lowering the vodka bottle from the back of his head and setting it down on top of the mini fridge. He took a deep breath.

"You were supposed to be my friend."

***

Blake

"You were supposed to be my friend."

Blake blinked at the bite in Liam's tone. She almost faltered in keeping her expression smooth, but she managed it.

You're the one that told him to let it out, now you have to deal with it. This mess is your fucking fault, anyway.

It did help that Liam had seemed just as surprised by his tone.

"You were supposed to be my friend, and you fucked my girlfriend," He continued, looking away from her. Now his voice just sounded hurt. It twisted Blake's stomach in knots knowing she made him feel that way, "I know you're sorry, but damnit, Blake! Friends don't do that. For a little bit I thought it was different because you're a girl and--and that's hot, but you're not just some girl, you're my friend."

He had turned his gaze on her at the last part, blue eyes blazing as his chest rose and fell visibly.

"I know," Blake said carefully, "I'm sor--"

"I don't want you to be sorry," Liam snapped, cutting her off, "I--Ugh, I don't know what I want."

Blake frowned, "Liam? C-can I say something?" She tried to force herself to sound calm. It seemed like it was working so far--to her at least.

I can't be like this. I've got to get back to the way things were before.

He sighed, slumping down in the chair, "Yeah."

Blake took a deep breath, drawing herself up, and even then, had to force the words out, "If you need to be mad at me, then do it. I can take it, and you'll probably be really mad at what I'm about to say."

Liam raised an eyebrow at that, mouth opening, but Blake didn't give him a chance to speak. Or herself the chance to stop. She didn't think she'd be able to say what she needed to if she stopped. She'd be too scared.

Of hurting him? Or of him rejecting you?

"You said I'm supposed to be your friend, that you thought it wouldn't hurt as much that I fucked Marie, because I'm a girl. But it does hurt, because I'm your friend."

Blake hesitated for just a moment but forced the words out. She had to, "Have you told Marie the same thing? I may have fucked your girlfriend, but she fucked your friend. She fucked her roommate and didn't tell you about it until I did. And while you're mad at me, you've been going out and picking up other girls to fuck. Was that your idea or hers? Did she tell you that she--"

Blake snapped her jaw shut so hard her teeth clicked.

Fuck.

Her cheeks were already on fire. Liam would know something was up.

Liam blinked wide eyes at her, seeming stunned at her tirade. He seemed taken aback, but not mad...

"Did she tell me what?" He asked.

Blake bit her lip, "Sorry?"

Liam sighed. He looked so worn all the sudden, "Please don't do that, Blake. It's not that I don't trust Marie, but...I--fuck, I feel terrible for even thinking it."

"But you trust me more?" Blake asked, incredulous, trying to keep the excitement from her voice.

Liam nodded, biting off a bitter laugh, "See what I meant about confusing feelings? Can you please tell me whatever it is you were about to say."

Blake sighed, steadying herself. Doing what Liam asked would be easy. The follow-up though...

Am I prepared to be honest with him about that?

It didn't really matter, though. She had to. If she wanted any chance with him, she had to be completely honest. She smiled inwardly. He trusts me more than Marie.

"Did Marie tell you she asked me if I wanted to help her surprise you with a threesome?"

Liam's eyes bulged, mouth dropping open a bit. It took him a moment to collect himself.

"She what?" His voice was thick, strained.

Blake took a deep breath, "She asked me if I wanted to join you two for a threesome. And honestly, she was kinda mean when I told her I didn't want to."

"You told her you didn't want to," Liam repeated. His voice carried mostly the sound of shock, but Blake thought she detected a hint of disappointment. Then he shook himself, cheeks growing red, "Of course you said no. We're friends. That would just be weird, right?"

Blake's heart pounded as Liam left that question hanging in the air. She thought she might need to throw up.

This is it.

Liam gazed at her for a while, eyes unreadable, "That's why you said no, right?"

Blake forced down the lump in her throat, "No, Liam. No, it's not."

"What?"

"I said no--" Blake started, then had to stop. She squeezed her eyes shut, taking a deep breath, then forced herself to look up at him. You need to tell him.

"I want to be your friend, Liam," she said, "If that's all that I can be, I--I'll find a way to live with that, but I want more."

Liam started, cheeks flushing, "You--you what?"

"I want you, Liam," she said, grabbing at any scraps of confidence she could find.

He trusts you more than he trusts Marie. That's all you need, right? That alone should be enough in the long run.

Blake rose from her chair and took a step toward him, "I need you in my life, but as much more than a friend. You're with Marie, though, for now, so I'll just be a friend, I won't do anything that would get you in trouble with Marie or make you feel guilty. I won't try to kiss you, I won't touch you except to hug you, and Liam?"

She stopped less than an inch before him and leaned forward, putting her face mere inches from his like it had been earlier. The way his eyes kept flickering to her lips sent a wave of shivers through Blake, and she let herself smirk at the obvious effect she had on her friend. She fed off that smile and grabbed the collar of his shirt, well aware of the fact that her cheeks were just as red as his own.

"I need you, Liam. Not want, need. And I'm going to do everything I can to make sure you know who is the better choice for you."

Blake held Liam there for a moment, meeting his gaze, pointedly not glancing at his lips, no matter how much she wanted to kiss them, to finally taste them like she had in that vivid fantasy a few days ago.

When Blake released Liam's collar and straightened, he seemed to snap back to reality. Blake pretended not to notice, and instead continued over the Liam's chair and took her coat back up, trying very hard to ignore how hard her heart pounded in her chest.

Liam has to be able to hear that.

"I'll leave you to think about that. I'm going to go out and have some fun tonight."

She hoped her perfume would linger around Liam's for a while to remind Liam of her while he worked.

"Wait, Blake," Liam said as she moved toward the door.

Blake stopped turning just enough to look over her shoulder at Liam. She ignored the pounding in her chest, "Yes, Liam?"

"If that's how--" he cut off swallowing hard. His face reddened a bit further, "Why did you say no to Marie?"

Blake blinked in surprise at the desperation in Liam's tone.

"Why say no to her and tell me that?" he continued.

Blake sighed, hoping she hadn't already thrown everything out the door with Liam.

"I don't want to just seduce you, Liam," she said, desperately hanging onto that earlier confidence to keep her voice from wavering, "And I certainly don't want to have to share you with Marie, especially when I'm just the third wheel. I told you--I fucked up that night. Sleeping with Marie was a mistake even if neither of us knew you existed. That was the result of being a little drunk and way too horny and your girlfriend's new adventurous streak. I don't want her, and I don't just want sex with you, Liam. I told you, I need you." Blake felt a part of her whimper every time she told him that. She was giving him so much power over her heart.

But I trust him with it. In the long run, at least.

"And like I said, I will have what I need. I'm the better choice."

Blake took a few more steps, then opened the door.

"You think you're better than her?" Liam asked. His tone wasn't accusing, just genuinely curious.

Blake turned around so she could look him in the eyes, then shook her head, "No, just better for you. I hope I see you this weekend, Liam. Or Monday in class. I really have missed you."

Blake closed the door behind her as she stepped out into the hall, then ran--almost sprinting--to the stairwell on silent feet. She knew where they were from living a few floors down the previous year.

Rather than flying down the stairs, however, Blake pressed her back against the wall once she was safely in the stairwell, trying to get her breathing and her pounding heart under control.

"Fuck," she breathed, "Fuck, I actually said it. I actually told him."

She wasn't sure if she was excited or terrified.

A little of both, maybe? Definitely.

Getting close enough to him to see if he was tempted to kiss her was one thing, but just putting everything out there like that...Physically, she knew he wanted her. Whether or not he would choose her over Marie--well, she would have some work to do regardless.

Things are either going to go very right or very wrong once he makes up his mind.