All Comments on 'The Camp Ch. 03: The Coward'

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There was literally no redeeming value to this at all. You've gone from writing barely conventional stories to churning out stuff that only an individual regularly ingesting hallucinogens would.

Really love the character justice. Another interesting read.

Another saddletramp epic. Just what we needed to breakup the relentless flood of garbage that plagues LW recently. We have a world class villain here, a hero in trouble, and Justice O. Peace back to save the day. Part 2 should be a good one, with a high body count. Carson and Acme will burn, and I think he is lying about the wife being dead too.

Until the last section, I was enjoying the story. When he was suddenly drugged and imprisoned for three months though, we just took a left turn into sharksville. I will wait for the second story, but I cannot fathom how he is going to suddenly be rescued out of the blue by anything short of federal law enforcement crashing the place.

Comparing these stories, I felt like the wife had some actual emotion for her husband, but then her actions (or lack of) after he left would indicate the opposite. Again, I haven't seen the end yet, so I will hold judgement, but I appreciate it when a character maintains some continuity through the story.

Why was Carlson worried about the divorce if she was dead?

Why did you end it there? What a terrible place to stop.

Yeah, i get it's your world but god its contrived

If the MC had retained a lawyer then she would have went out of her way to find him especially because of the nature of his case. Your ending doesn't make sense. She would have found that Gloria was missing as was her husband, the fbi would have taken interest due to the sex trafficking. This worked until the end where it just went bizarre and pear shaped

That all hell is going to break loose.

Really any one complains about your stories tell them to read something else. I enjoy them, looking forward to the next.

Damn, just damn! ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Well Sir You've got My attention!...Thanks 5 Stars ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ WOOF!

Finish the story then publish it!!! Just how hard can that be?

The wife died? So she gets off easy, just like she has throughout the whole story. Very dissatisfied with that.

Has been submitted. Stay tuned...

At the very least, your stories are very entertaining. Looking forward to part 2. Thanks for posting.

This is a great fantasy story taking place in st1956's own fantasy universe and I love it. I don't think his wife is dead so can't wait to see the revenge. 5 stars.

...looking forward to the next chapter. 5 stars. Thanx!

Loklie

Another great ST story, I don t like all BTB tales but this is certainly going the right way. Liked the mix of The Camp story with a Justice story, did surprise me but hopefully we will see a lot more of Justice....Thank you.

This is good can’t wait for the next chapter this is getting juicy. But thank you for saving the day the stories that had been written lately were not fit for even reading . So thank you for saving my sanity I was so getting fed up of idiot writers that kept glorifying cuckold and swinging and sharing. They were utter utter garbage it was getting to a point when I started to think is this worth reading this site. Then you wrote this story and hey I’m glad I did continue to read this site. Just please promise me that you won’t stop writing you are a true hero and a very very proud and talented writer I just wish that these other writers would write stories like this and not stories that are clearly garbage. And they are always in the wrong category so it shows how a poor a writer they are. So thank you and hope you read your next story really really soon .

But your last 2 paragraphs made me dismount and unroll my blanket and feed my pony. Let's see what sunrise brings before we get too critical

Sorry for being blunt, but only THE MORON would drink or eat anything in his position.

You fucked that up BADLY!!!

PS: if you wanted to make him tough, you FAILED with capital letters!!!

(I know from your other stories that you can do better than this)

Comments -

@26thNC - I agree. As I said in my own comment, if she's dead, why is Carlson concerned about the divorce?

@Anonymous Re: :The wife died?" - See above!

@Gatsby1977 - Yes, not just his lawyer, but I would imagine that the Ranch would be following his progress and wonder what happened. I don't believe Gloria is missing. If she IS dead, she died in a plane crash. If she's alive, she's still doing her "job," and who's be reporting her missing?

...But then the Justice/Peace element was introduced. Veering off into the supernatural just seemed totally random to me; if you wanted to merge the story with one of your other series, I think a Warren Files spin-off would’ve been more appropriate.

And what is the wife’s motivation exactly? Gloria has gone from the illicit excitement of an affair with her boss (where she had some control over her life), to an existence of sexual slavery without many real world perks.

He's held captive in a secret underground jail cell created by his employer and then he gets a visit by Justice in that secret cell and Justice let's him stay there?

How did Justice get in the place like it was visitors day? Why did the guards let him in and not question it?

Story went off the rails after he got back from camp. He obviously forgot all his training to allow himself to be taken the was by his enemy.

Just a few steps too far for me.

Hopefully the next chapter will clear this mess up.

I'm betting Gloria either isn't dead or the plane crash was triggered by the divorce papers.

Let's hope Doug has a very long and painful life.

Can't wait to see what happens next.

is this a parody of BTB stories? Just not any way to suspend disbelief and get into the narrative, so over the top. Your writing is descending into cliches and pulp fiction.

Taking your Camp stories and adding Justice in will be a real winner. Our hero will clean up Acne Corp, with an admirable bloodbath. The wife isn't dead and I can't wait to see how you handle that. Great story and can't wait for part 2.

I can't wait for the next chapter. I really don't think that Gloria is dead. His boss is lying as usual. All the other Camp Rollins graduates in previous stories had follow up visits from the staff who assisted in the revenge.

1 star is too good for this piece of shit.

Though knowing what they know you think the lawyer and the Rollins people wouldn't be looking for him,that they wouldn't snatch Carlson and use 220 volts on his balls or worse to get to him?Having San Elliot come to the rescue is okay, but for a fantasy story a little out there even for that.

On the other hand the Acme corporation is probably a pretty good stand in for the Trump organization..

One thing I liked this story versus the other "Ranch" stories, is that the Ranch isn't all powerful, there are still some bugs in the system.

that’s SF! Go back to drawing.

It was moving in the right direction but then you took it off the rails trying to pull the typical Literotica "Jump the Shark Shock and Awe" that all poor authors do here.

How sad for you and this story.

I would have waited to read this if I had known it was incomplete. The story should have been labeled as "Part 1".

The tale will only appeal to a select group of readers with fairly serious mental health problems.

That was stupid!!

I mean, to even mention the absolute ridiculousness of the premise is to really give more than it deserves.

que fuckin horrible!!

While I rarely read continuing stories much less complex tales interwoven through several different stories today I was bored so started tracking this whole story down.

Wow! What can I say, utterly fantastic story although this part does not work without reading it all but still it's part of the puzzle was well done. Looks like you're getting hammered by people who didn't take the time to unravel the whole tale. It's a pity you had to weave this tale through so many different parts but doing it all would have been long but it would have been epic. Thanks for a good read and I look forward to more tales from you. 5*s just for how it fits into the overall story.

In many of your stories I feel like I'm reading an adult Marvel comic. You should consider getting an illustrator and trying to publish these stories in that format. Would be even more entertaining.

And No

Nice meshing of two stories. 5 stars

Just another unfinished dream - jerky and incoherent.

detroitdave

You really must hate your poor MC.

Why did you make your MC a retard? Yeah take a drink from him. Jesus christ. Are all your MC this stupid? 2*

WTF, OVER?

very good, anxious to read the next chapters

So this is another story that i can't stand.

You write the mc as a complete fuck tard.

I know, ill take a drink from a guy who has destroyed my life and i know he does some horrible shit, but yeah ill have a drink.

Not worth rating.

Love it BUT why do you say ghost riders 2 when it has nothing to do with this story ?????Please stop trying to confuse us all NOT happy (jaybee186)

CUCK COWARD WHO WAS CLUELESS AND STUPID POST CAMP ROLLINS!!

CUCK WRITER PROJECTING HIMSELF

I like the story, please continue. AAAAA+++

sucked incomplete

Worst st story yet. STUPID.

If there is an ending, I can't find it.

Mike is a disgrace to even wimps. Cucks like Mike are wasting oxygen. Mike is no man. Cuck special from the cuck ST

LOL.....Finally have a complaint......really do not like the way I have to stop reading one series of stories and being told to read Chater 3 in another series, "The Camp". Of course, it wouldn't be right to ignore chapters 1 and 2, so I have to start and finish a completely new series before I can go back to "Justice". Shame on you, ST.

I finally found the ending and it was not worth my time. This is the only time I have been really disappointed in this author.