All Comments on 'The Camping Trip'

Loved it! Now a followup chapter please where they go camping again and the dad joins in this time!

I found this story confusing, it would had been better if it was written from the mother's or the sons point of view

I think I've seen this one before, maybe it was camping in the summer, with no dad around because of work.The read was ok.Thanks

That was 5 minutes wasted that I will never get back, please don't attempt another as you would be wasting your time. Heap of rubbish blah

When we all finally got back home, I asked Denise & Rich if they really fucked.

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Rich looked at his mom with a smile on his face and Denise took out her used panties from their time in the mountains and told me that I could have her panties as a souvenir, as she walked away laughing.

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So, you establish that they don't tell him what happened, However, you told the story from his POV, with him providing 1st person details of actions he didn't observe.

The POV seemed odd to me.

If the narrator is not witnessing an event he cannot report it. He can be told about it later, but cannot write it as though present.

Next time use someone who is always there, or make it easier for yourself and the few readers you get just do it all 3rd person POV.

Never change POV it becomes messy, although many try and they all fail.

Nice creative story and fun read

Good story but who is telling it. They all had a go

hope son got his mother pregnant with triplets. all girls.