All Comments on 'The Camping Trip Pt. 01'

Give people names not just a letter. Comes off as laziness

It is your last weekend as a married couple.

Camping from what friends say has alot of wild stuff going on .

🤢🤮

Please give her a NAME! Mary, Marie, Mandy, hell, call her Joe, Tom, Mike, anything other than a frigging LETTER!

is this garbage?

So poorly written you lost me after two sentences. Love the story line but you’re not a writer.

At least try and proof read your material before you post. This was simply awful.

Are you worried that some horny reader will read this story/fantasy and then start jerking off while thinking about your wife’s sexy body? No wonder you call her only you can know her real name.

I didn't like that you only called her "M". You can make up a name just as easy. And when you slipped first person then back again, it got a little rocky. Overall the idea is good, just needs a little work.

all that available pussy, one is not bi but gay, and that is the section this belongs in.

Just like reading a shopping list

Please no! Stop this here!

...literotica has a system for providing volunteer editors.

You're going to get a ton of negative comments for your choice of subject material, the BTB crowd is sure your marriage is over because they can't tell fantasy from life and the homophobes are freaking out because, well... But, it's your fantasy and you can make it about whatever you want. The BTB folks supposedly won't harass you if you move it to another category.

However, sometimes you write in second person which is certain to kill a porn story - half your audience is immediately left out. Maybe 75% given the site... Then you write in first person, but you describe a bunch of stuff that the narrator can't possibly know. Plus you invite the BTB people to make personal comments since you claim these experiences as your own. Shift the entire thing to third person, get help with your writing, and good luck.