The Captains Quarters

"Q! For once in your existence, show some decorum, and get out."

"You sure you don't want me to join in? I can provide my own lube." A huge bottle of blue gel appeared in Q's outstretched hand. The bottle looked like it was sturdy enough to double up as a toy.

"I'm not interesting in having anything poked in my rectum, Q," Bev declared.

"I wasn't asking you, my dear."

"Q! Get Out!" Picard snapped.

"I can make popcorn," a bag of popcorn appeared in Q's hands. "Or I can help you make a home move."

Picard and Bev were shocked to see several flashes as what looked like the film crew of an entire ancient Earth Hollywood production appeared in various locations in Picard's quarters, apparently not bothered in the slightest at the scene before them. The crew all seemed to be wearing clothing marked 'The Final Frontier', and the director seemed oddly familiar. Q helped himself to some of his popcorn and even offered some to Bev who ignored his offer.

"Q!" snapped Picard.

"Oh, don't be a bore, Jean Luc." With a snap of his fingers, the strangers were all gone. "Well, I can see I've put you off your stroke, but you both still seem to have the matter at hand. I'll shall bid you all, adieu," and with that, Q was gone after theatrically blowing kisses to them, blowing them off both his hands before he bowed.

"Bev?"

"Jean Luc?"

"Fuck me harder, please."

"With pleasure."

And thus was the start of what turned out to be two years of bliss. By 2381 things would take a darker path, and Picard would not find out why Bev left him and their old friends for another twenty two years.