The Change

She ran out of the room crying. I guess the old Ryan would have felt bad. I didn't though. I did give it some thought.

The first thing the next morning, I went downstairs and found her in the kitchen. It looked like she'd cried herself to sleep. She looked like hell.

"Rhonda," I said, as I walked into the kitchen. "I thought about it last night. I guess sex is something that healthy adults really shouldn't do without. So how about tonight?"

She got the biggest smile on her face and she must've lost concentration because she dropped the plate she'd been carrying. She nodded her head and started saying, "Yes definitely, baby. You won't regret this."

That night after Haley was asleep Rhonda came out of the shower in a sheer gown that only emphasized her braless breasts even more. The funny thing about it was, before this all happened I'd have popped my cork just seeing her like that. But as she walked around bending over here and there the only thing in my mind was that Starla would have looked much better in it.

"Are you ready?" I asked. She almost broke her neck nodding her head.

"Okay, let's go into the guest room," I said.

"Ryan, can we do it in our bed?" she asked. "It's bigger and more comfortable. I'm going to make you cum like you never have before and then I want us to cuddle up together like we always do."

"Rhonda, you have to earn your way back to being in that bed," I snapped. "Sex won't do it and that's all this is. There's no emotion attached. This is only fucking, nothing more. Remember what you said about you and Jim. So the guest room is fine. If you feel like cuddling afterwards, we'll have to see how that goes. It may be possible though, I'm not ruling it out."

"Then let's hit the guest room," she said. "You know maybe since we're starting again I should go off of the pill."

"That's up to you," I said. She took my arm and I shrugged her off as we went up the stairs.

"Once I get your clothes off, you'll be begging for me to touch certain parts of you," she said. I just couldn't get over the smile on her face. What a whore I thought. It was all I could do not to laugh.

When we stepped into the guest room and she saw Jim sitting there on the bed naked and looking like he wanted to cry, her face fell. "What the fuck is he doing here?" she screamed. She started trying to cover up her near nakedness.

"Stop acting Rhonda," I said. "Jim's already seen it lots of times."

"But we're...I don't understand," she said. "Why is he here? Is he going to watch us or something? Are you going to make me do a three way?"

"Ryan, I've never done that. Please don't make me do that," she cried.

"Rhonda, we're not doing a three way," I said. "And Jim isn't going to watch us. You said you wanted to have sex. So I brought Jim over here to fuck you."

"Noo!" they both shouted.

"Why not?" I sneered. "You couldn't fucking get enough of each other when you were sneaking around. It was good enough for you to risk two marriages and hurt both sets of kids. Now get in that bed and start fucking."

"Ah woan do ih," said Jim, in that strange way he had of talking now. His tongue instead of helping him talk seemed to get in the way. He actually bit it and winced in pain.

"Then not only will I restart my suit against you. I'll personally tell Starla all about you and Rhonda," I said. Jim hung his head down. I thought I saw tears in his eyes too.

"Bah Ahm trine nah stoph," he said.

"Like I give a shit," I snapped. "Rhonda wants to get fucked, so fuck her or else."

"No," said Rhonda.

"Fine," I said. "Then you pack your shit and leave the house right now," I said. "And don't ever come back."

"But Ryan," she whined.

"But Ryan, my ass," I said. "You said you wanted to fuck, so take that gown off and spread your legs or get out of my house."

With tears streaming down her face Rhonda lay back on the bed and closed her eyes.

Jim walked slowly over to the bed like a convict walking down death row. I swear it took him a minute and a half to walk the three steps to the bed.

Once there, he stood over Rhonda, who still had her eyes closed and was sniffling.

"Uhm look folks," I said sarcastically. "Are we going to see some fucking soon, or what?"

"Ah cane gi ih up," said Jim. "She dozen turn me on no moh. When I look a hur all I see is da risk of losing mah wife and mah sons."

"Rhonda get up and suck his dick," I said.

Her eyes snapped open like someone had hit her. "I don't do that," she said.

"Bullshit," I said. "You used to do it to me all the time."

"Iss troo," he said. "We gah togedder five or six times and I could never git hur ta suck me off."

"The only penis that has ever been in my mouth is yours, Ryan," she said.

"Until now," I said cruelly.

"I'll get my vibrator," she said. "That'll do it."

"Do something," I said. "I'm getting bored."

"You're not neely az nice as evahbody think you are," he said.

"What are you going to do Jim, cry," I asked. "Are you going start crying like a little bitch?"

"M sorry," he said. "Cahnt chu fuhgiv us?"

Suddenly, I realized that though Jim was a physically bigger person than I was, he was cowering in front of me as if he thought that I was going to hit him. Somehow, in my pain, I'd become the thing I hated most.

I'd always been stronger than he was. Truly strong people don't need to go around showing off their strength by belittling other people or picking on them. Only people who doubted their own strength needed to prove it or display it at every turn.

"Get the fuck out of my house," I snapped. Jim started pulling his pants on. He'd pulled them over his ankles when Rhonda came back into the bedroom holding a vibrator. She turned it on and he leaped up in fright, trying to run out of the room with his pants still around his ankles. He tripped going down the stairs. Luckily, he didn't bite his tongue off again that would have been too cruel. (I guess)

Rhonda looked at me with fear in her eyes. "It's not my fault," she whined. "I didn't make him leave. I didn't want to have sex with him, Ryan, I only want you. But I was going to do it. Please don't throw me out."

I just shook my head and went and sat down at my kitchen table where all of this shit had started.

I sat there thinking about all of it for a long time. I must've been there for an hour when I noticed that Rhonda was standing there.

"You're different," she said. "You aren't ever going to even try to go back to US are you?"

"It's not that I'm so different," I said. "It's not that I don't see the dying light of what we used to be. But how can I forgive you. YOU"VE changed and I'm alone, Rhonda. YOU are the one who changed. The Rhonda I fell in love with would never have been sneaking around fucking some other guy behind my back. She would not have paid someone to watch our daughter so she could go off and fuck some other married guy. When you changed, you created the new Ryan. YOU made ME change."

"Can we ever go back to where we were?" she asked.

"Honestly, I can't answer that," I said. "I'm not even sure I want to." She was crying again then.

"Rhonda, there are consequences to every action," I said.

"But it didn't mean anything," she said. "Nothing, it was less than nothing. All I ever told him was how much I loved you."

"Maybe if you could have told him that without letting him fuck my pussy, it might've worked out better," I said. "And if you loved me so much, why did you just sit there and laugh or even join in when he called me all of those names?"

"Rhonda, I'll honor our deal," I said. "I'll stop trying to punish you. I'll try really hard to get over this. I'll give you the year. But you have to stop trying to put pressure on me as well. No full court press for sex. Let's just live in the same house and see if we can find each other again."

Over the next few weeks we settled into our lives. Rhonda took care of our daughter and she tried to take care of me too, but to me she was more like the maid than anything else. I did start to have romantic feelings or at least an itching in the back of my mind, but it wasn't Rhonda I dreamed of.

I remember talking to my father in law a few days later at a lodge meeting. He was telling me about the potential new members that night. Jim was one of them. Apparently his boss had put him up for membership. My father in law looked at me strangely as I looked over the list of names and found Jim's.

"Ryan, this isn't like you," he said. "What do you have against him?" I just shrugged my shoulders. Somehow he knew.

"He's the bastard that almost..." he didn't even finish the sentence. "We'll take care of him." He left and went and spoke to several of the lodge brothers who served on the membership committee.

Needless to say that Jim didn't even come close to membership.

He called me the next day nearly crying on the phone.

"Why can't you just let this go?" he whined. "Are you going to ruin my entire life because I fucked your wife? Jeezus get over it. It's her fault too. You're trying to ruin the rest of my life but she gets to come home and be with you and her baby. That really isn't fair." I noticed that Jim was speaking slowly but much more clearly by then.

Jim's troubles continued though, because his boss wanted to find out why he'd been denied even the chance to join the lodge. Without going into the specifics of who it was, a couple of the membership committee guys filled him in on what Jim had done.

That was enough for Jim's boss. He told Jim that he really didn't want to mix business with pleasure and he wouldn't fire Jim for things that he'd done during non-working hours but he strongly disagreed with Jim's morals and didn't think he was the right fit for his company. He permanently transferred Jim to the midnight shift.

That didn't seem like a bad thing to me at first but after thinking about it I laughed my ass off. Jim was involved in local sales. He received a very small base salary that really wasn't enough for him to live on let alone support his family. Most of his income came from commissions on sales.

If Jim was working from 10 pm to 6 am, then all of the businesses he'd have to sell to would be closed during the time he was working so he'd have no sales. Jim quit after only 2 days. Of course, he blamed me.

Starla came to see me after Jim quit. She wanted to talk to me because since I was his best friend, she wanted to know whether I knew why he would suddenly quit his job.

I reminded her that I didn't work with Jim, but that I'd heard he'd had some kind of disagreement with his boss.

Looking at Starla made me feel like shit. She was trying to find out what was going on with her husband and I was staring at her like a love struck schoolboy.

Here she was being a faithful wife and I was being anything but a faithful husband. I took her to lunch so we could talk about Jim. I found her too easy to talk to. Somehow, I ended up telling her about how Rhonda had cheated on me recently and I was trying to get over it. She gently stroked my hand and told me about when she caught Jim and how she wasn't fully over it even now. She'd only stayed with him so her kids would have a dad in their lives.

Of course, being a great wife, she'd jumped in with both feet to help him through his recovery from the tongue thing, but if she ever caught him again, he was history. She also confided in me that she and Jim hadn't been intimate since she caught him and she really missed sex. Part of the problem was that Jim wasn't satisfied with the way she was. She told me that she was kind of old fashioned. She looked at sex as making love and she needed to be emotionally attached to her partner and she'd been having trouble finding that attachment with Jim since he cheated on her.

As I looked at her, it was all I could do not to tell her then. I was so close to pulling out my iPhone and showing her the pictures.

Looking into Starla's eyes was an incredible experience. And she was so even tempered, like I used to be before Jim and Rhonda turned me into an asshole.

She was shorter than Rhonda by a few inches but her breasts were at least a few inches larger and her ass defied description. Watching her walk, nearly brought tears to my eyes. I thought again about what a fool Jim had to be. She was the sweetest, sexiest woman I'd ever met.

Going back to my cheating ex that night after work was an experience in futility. I had to admit that Rhonda was trying really hard to put things back to where they were but it was like trying to put a genie back in a bottle. She'd hurt me too badly. I'd listened to the voice recording of them laughing and chuckling at my expense several times.

To her benefit, she had told him several times that she really did love me. She had also never told him that there was anything wrong with having sex with me. It was just that she sometimes wanted it a bit rougher and she got that from him.

I guess as I thought about it, I probably, in time, could have gotten over the sexual aspects of her affair. What I couldn't come to terms with was the lack of respect and the fact that I just didn't think I'd ever be able to trust her again.

There was also the fact that, realistically, I just wasn't in love with Rhonda anymore.

A few nights later, I left work and found Jim standing near my Mustang. "I saw you, you bastard," he cried. "I know you were telling Starla about me and Rhonda. Just because you were too much of a wimp to keep your own wife you want to try and fuck up my marriage. I oughta..."

"You oughta get the fuck out of here before I really hurt you this time," I snapped. He shrank back.

"Jim, I'm not going to hit you or do anything to you," I said. "I'm done with all of this. I was speaking to your wife the other day because she wanted to know if I knew anything about why you quit your fucking job. Now beat it."

He started walking away then he turned back. He reached into his jacket and pulled out some papers.

"You're lying," he screamed. "Two days after I saw you talking to Starla she throws me out of the house and files for a divorce. If you didn't tell her, who did? You've been trying to ruin me ever since you caught me and Rhonda. Rhonda was just as guilty as I was, don't you see that?"

What I did see that he didn't was Starla standing behind him.

"You need to get over yourself," he screamed. "If you weren't such a pussy, your wife wouldn't have started fucking me. We don't love each other. We never did. We just both liked rough sex. If Starla didn't have such a stick up HER ass I wouldn't have had to find someone else to give me what I need either. The two of you deserve each other." He ripped the papers up and threw the pieces at me.

"Fuck you," he screamed. "Oh sit." I guess he meant to say "Oh Shit." He'd bitten his tongue again. He put his hands over his mouth and just ran away.

"So Jim cheated on me again, anyway?" asked Starla quietly.

I just nodded.

"He was the one who was screwing your wife wasn't he?" she asked.

I nodded my head again.

"Ryan, why didn't you tell me?" she asked. "I could tell the first day that we met that you were in a lot of pain. You wanted to tell me didn't you?" I nodded.

"Starla, your husband ruined my life," I said. "I was very happy. I loved Rhonda and our daughter like nothing you can imagine. I was tempted to show you the videos but what would it have accomplished to hear the two of them running you and me down?"

"You are a beautiful and wonderful person. It seemed like you had a chance to be happy. I didn't want to ruin your happiness because I was miserable."

"Ryan, I had a chance to be happy," she smiled. "But I didn't have a chance to be stupid. I've kept a private eye on Jim ever since the first time I caught him. I was going to serve the divorce papers on him before he bit his tongue off. I didn't know about your wife, I'm divorcing him for the woman between his first affair and your wife. I waited for him to get his ability to talk back so it wasn't like I was kicking him while he was down."

"Oh," I said. God damn it, I thought. "This woman is incredible."

"Ryan, a lot of this he's right about though," she said. "A big part of our problems is the fact that I'm just not very adventurous when it comes to sex. If you turn me on I can go all night. Jim loved that but he wanted to be able to just slam his dick into me and it hurt sometimes. And I'm sorry but no matter how much I loved him, he wasn't sticking that thing in my butt. And I wasn't going to do his friends or let them watch. So he and I are better off without each other. After our divorce, I'll probably move back to my hometown. I hope that you and Rhonda can put things back together."

Watching her walk away was, again, a religious experience. Just seeing her backside move under that tight dress had me harder than I'd been since I first caught Jim and Rhonda.

When I got home, I almost thought about fucking Rhonda...almost.

The next morning Rhonda sat down at the kitchen table with me.

"Ryan, I love you," she said.

"It's not enough," I told her. She looked at me with tears in the corners of her eyes.

"I know," she said. "You gave it a really good try, but I just fucked things up too badly. We're good though, right?"

"Yep," I said. "Over the past few weeks I guess I've forgiven you, but things aren't ever going to be the way they were."

"I know," she said. "I also know that Haley will be fine here with you. I will be allowed to come and visit her, right?"

"I'd be pissed if you didn't," I said.

"I got a job," she said. "But it's in Ohio."

"Doing what?" I asked.

"The same thing I've been doing here," she smirked. "There's this rich business woman. She's a widow with a small child who needs a nanny..."

"You'll be great at it," I said. "Are..." I stopped.

"Ryan, there aren't any men involved," she smiled. "I'm so glad you asked that or started to. It lets me know that you still care enough to get a little jealous. But you don't need to be. I'm still hoping someday when I grow up that...well...you know."

What else could we say? She'd already signed the papers. We were already divorced. As she left the next day, she told me one more thing. "Ryan, I was stupid. I didn't realize the value of what I had. Men who just want to fuck you are a dime a dozen. Finding one who truly loves you and would do anything for you is a rare thing. It's even rarer to find a true GENTLE man; someone who doesn't have to push people around or make fun of others. Don't let my stupidity cause you to change. Go back to being the same sweet guy that I fell in love with. You'll be happier. And if you ever get lonely, all you have to do is pick up the phone."

Suffice it to say that eventually we did have that phone conversation and I'm glad we did.

I was tiredly walking up the stairs about a year later, after putting Haley to bed and watching her fall asleep. I heard a giggling sound and saw a familiar sheer white gown that was barely containing a pair of truly mouthwatering titties. I saw a finger beckoning me towards our bedroom and I followed it.

In the darkness of our room I tried to get the gown off of her gently but it was just too tight around her ass and I wanted her badly. I ripped the gown, causing her to erupt in another fit of giggles that immediately stopped when I captured one of her large, up thrust nipples with my tongue. At the same time, my two hands squeezed those large mounds of pleasure as she searched my pants for the object of her desire.

She spread those curvaceous legs and drew me into her depths. She started moaning loudly enough that I thought we'd wake the kids. I was at that moment so glad that that the concept of forgiveness existed. I was happier at that moment than I'd ever been in life.