All Comments on 'The Choker'

This writing really needs an editor as well as a much better proof reader if it had gotten one at all.

The use of a "Thesaurus" would help this writer immensely.

The basis of the story is quite common, but different minds workng different words cause change enough to make it seem like something new to read.

This story is short but has the potential to go so much further.

Taking Jake/Jackie into the wonderful world of an erotic alternitive lifestyle.

Author, I hope you take this comment as it was intended. Not putting you down, Simply offering helpful advise from a published writer of non erotic small stories and simple poems.

If You want to see the complete version of this story check out Jake's Choker, due to technically issues it was upload in full, separately.