All Comments on 'The Chronicles: Notomol Ch. 12'

I check several times a day, to see if you have updated.

I'll try to tone down my thoughts on the duchess and her pet snakes so my comments get through... When are they gonna out that her bastard child is a bastard?

Excellent chapter. A very well constructed story about the internal struggle for power and view of the future. You are an amazing spinner of tales.

Great!!

What a chapter!! You outdo yourself!!

You write the attempted treachery so well readers feel and experience it through the characters externalizations and thoughts about it. You then use Dubek and especially Adastras masterfully to counter all Prosquetel's intrigues. You even bring out Kolasovets to show his great importance in feeding the mixed multitude and he exclaims how much their "proposal" even disrespects him! I love his closing line (him having the last word) of "I can see them as Izumyrians." What a way to put into words exactly how those cretins behave!

You intersperse great lines and funny moments in this one, especially when (likely Dubek) let rip that thunderous fart when Miss-Self-Important-Duchess exclaims Notomol's weak and has to press the attack. Then you double down on humbling that hag by having Notomol humiliate her verbally (albeit tactfully) by pointing out the common people like him are NOT fighting for the nobles to return to the status quo--but for there to be REAL freedom! That exchange felt SO MUCH like several parts of "Braveheart," where William Wallace speaks about freedom for all and fights vehemently for it right up until the end.

I could say more, but you "left it all out there" on this one. Wish I could score you TEN 5s!

Kolasovets , to no surprise is certainly maturing . I too certainly hope there is not a division . That would likely be their end .

This is more than a mere story. You've made the jump to literature. A Chronicler and a Guslar are joined in you.

The power struggle is Veran’s fault. He should have put Presquetel to death for conspiracy to commit murder.

So...why DIDN'T Guenna hug Kolasovets later for having such a big heart? ;) That would have been extra cute. Hell, Yadha deserved one too for how he defended Notomol's leadership.

Again, exceptionally well done, maestro! ;)

Wow